Why am I like this?

I sat down, staring at the bright screen, my face feeling as tense as my energy could muster as it pulled a serious expression. I know I had come up with this conclusion, but there was no way I think it would actually work. Did it even have to be a female? Surely a male would work just as well? No. What about someone non-binary? Well, I didn't want to offend them, and knowing my stupid brain, it would come out with something seriously stupid, then I'd feel stupid and like an ass. I knew nothing about the female species though. I grew up in a house with seven brothers, who kicked me out of their rooms when they eventually got girlfriends who would come over. It taught me nothing!

It went through my mind of what kind of girl would be the best for me, as a work colleague, nothing more! This arrangement wouldn't be like that. It hurt my brain trying to think. Sure, I'd worked with girls before when I had a job that involved in-person interaction, but this was completely different! I put my head in my hands and tried not to pull out my own hair in doing so. For a fleeting moment, I wondered what my life would be like instead if I had gotten hit by that truck last week, whether there would be magical beings to date in that world too, or whether I'd be reincarnated as a fly, trying to survive alone in a cruel world with no help except for level-ups and skill selections. I slapped my head a couple of times to get back on track. I had to think about this. Actually think about this. What did people do when they normally wanted to hire someone, but couldn't choose? That's it! They set up interviews.

Whilst waiting for the app to load, I tried to convince myself that this was going to work. Me messaging them to invite them to an interview wouldn't be weird at all. Besides, when I set the app up I already had an account under Admin, so even if they hadn't seen that photo on the news (which I forgot to delete), they'd know interview didn't mean Webflix and chill, wouldn't they?

I could feel my heart palpitate in my chest, reminding me I was a human with human emotions, the anxiety of rejection all too real as I swiped through the girls. "Calm down," I tried to tell myself. I put the phone down and took a deep breath. That didn't help. I picked up my phone again. I was just going to go into this headfirst, message whoever I thought would be a good fit for the job and if they reply, great!