Points for trying

Standing in front of the mirror, I grimaced at myself. I'd put the comb through my hair so many times, I broke it. I haven't had a haircut since I visited home, although mom keeps insisting after every single time we've face-timed, by text, I go and get one. I shrugged off my face. What did girls expect? They'd seen my profile photo and likely that photo on Chitter by now. Of course, the eye bags were still going to be there. Continuing to look down at myself in the mirror, my shirt was definitely more creased than I'd have liked, the reason being, the iron, or the lack of owning one. I had searched everywhere for it, I'd turned my apartment upside down until it looked like an earthquake had hit. Then I felt stupid. I didn't actually own an iron. I'd never ironed any of my own clothes. No one was really going to care about my pants, except Tetsuya, but he wasn't invited. The socks might be a deal-breaker though. Before you judge me, my washing machine is cursed, or haunted, or both. I check the laundry before putting it in, making sure both socks are there so I'm not left with one clean, laundry-scented sock and one dirty, sweaty sock. Every time, ever since I moved into this apartment, I've only ever been able to retrieve one matching sock. I once got stuck in my washing machine trying to look for where the socks could have fallen through, to no avail. Luckily, I was on speakerphone to Tetsuya about this whole situation, as he didn't believe me and I wanted to prove him wrong by finding this cavity in my machine that was stowing away odd socks. He came over to pull me out, and then laughed until I kicked him back out.

Before the girls get here, there's one thing I need to explain. Someone's going to look back at my life someday, now I'm semi-famous, and there may be some confusion. When the "Interspecies Exchange Bill" was passed, there were some arguments still referring to them as monsters. Well, they happened to make this a public event, and all it took was one small child and then they were referred to as magical beings. Well, you see, they do look like they perform magic, so it's not completely wrong of the kid. Harpies can fly, salamanders can cook food just from the heat of their skin (for food hygiene reasons they don't do this directly), mermaids can breathe underwater, you get the picture. So since then, to save face and not upset a child and look like a horrible person on national TV, it became more politically correct to call them magical beings rather than monsters. Now that that's out of the way...

I have a feeling the interviews aren't going to go to plan. Maybe if I mess this how thing up it could be used later for complete newbies in the interviewing world FOR NOT how to go around and try to hire monster girls. We'll remove my name from that if it ever gets published. I half contemplated ringing Tetsuya and getting his opinion, but the knot in my stomach told me he'd just make that worse. I'll just text him later, and maybe he'll bring over a few beers and let me cry in his lap (please don't judge me, I'm a very sensitive human!).

I don't think I'm in for a bad start though, or should I say, the view of my flat, to my credit. Looking around now, after cleaning up the mess caused by a wrinkled shirt, it doesn't look so bad. I had made sure I had enough time this morning to tidy the apartment, even going as far as mopping the floor. I didn't even know I had a mop! I guess that's a fair exchange though, I mean, who even owns both a mop AND an iron these days? I'm getting distracted, and semi-excited that I can now slide across the floors in my odd socks without dust bunnies flying into the air; my mother would be disappointed at how often I don't clean. She would be proud though that I even went as far as going to the supermarket last night and bought all necessary supplies; tea, coffee, a four-pack of matching mugs, bottled water, and some variety pack of biscuits. I could be the perfect host! That is if the flavours of said biscuits didn't sound so awful, but they were the most expensive biscuits there. Maybe monster girls like violet and blackberry biscuits, or rose petal and pistachio? The only flavour that seems like it could redeem the box is the coffee and banana.

Now I'm thinking about it, maybe they'll hate the biscuits? Should I move the bin closer to the coffee table? Shoot! Have I hidden everything I should have? Where's that box of tissues? Oh, under the bed, phew. Wait, what if one of the girls has x-ray vision? Don't be stupid, they can't see under your bed with that, just under your clothes. WAIT? No, stop stop stop. Shut up brain.

*Knock knock*. Oh crap. That's the first girl. Please oh merciful God, don't let me make a fool out of myself!