Marshall Eastman - "Mylo and the Summoned Hero"

Parody summary:

To Mylo Brat, the town of Edule was dead as fuck since he has no friends. His hurny eyes looking at the south, towards the capital, as maybe there, some coochie could be found. But he is about to meet a random crackhead from another world, who will see the gamer girl bathwater he hates as the gates to hard drugs.

As Mylo and the Crackhead sniffing each other out, like legit sniffing cocaine of off each others body, Edule begin to open beneath them and unfolds its secret Hentai collection.

The hurny powers that be will descend, and Mylo will have to decide if he wants to be horny or be happy.

Will Mylo become a virgin degenerate or shall he step into the happiness of being voluntary celibate? Read "Mylo and the Summoned Crackhead" to find out!

Chap 1

(Rip me they never let me catch a break with these long chapters T-T)

Alright we start with Milo (Yes I will name him after the chocolate powder and cookies now) was standing on top of a random ass Mana pumping station, getting all chilled because he felt watched. Like bruh you are uglier then the lips of Kylie Jenner and that is an insult nobody literally nobody wants to look at your sad ass.

Bla bla scenery bla bla

Milo forgot to take his anti schizophrenia pills because he is batshit crazy for thinking the crows spying on him.

Some more bla bla of uninteresting crap.

Milo how about using that lame ass telescope of yours to find out if there is some coochie nearby instead off "I gotta be worldbuilding bruh and OH MY GAWD THE EXPOSITION IS MAKING ME CUMMMMMMM AHHHHH" *Insert raindrop emoji*

YES YES YES THIS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR!!!!!

New waifu called Kasumi got introduced and by description she is **supposed** be hot MY BOY MILO BETTER BE STOPPING HIS BETA TELESCOPE SHT RIGHT NOW AND ASSERT DOMINANCE!!!

Bro this bish legit pulled up with the internet and my boi milo is having a brain seizure, but to be honest 5 + 5 = 10 was already a bound breaking discovery for him lmao.

I am starting to think Kasumi is a MMO type gamer gal, I hope she didn't bring her OnlyFans with her XD XD XD.
This bish thinking all of this is a game, well how about you go die see what happens XD.

Welp she believed she could fly, she believed she could touch the sky, but only fell off a random tower, reaching their to her death like FUKIN DUMBASS!!

Kasumi IQ equals the amount of gurls I have in my harem, which if your curious is 0 lmao.

Chap 2

Some location description I don't care about and a new character called Lydia Wode got introduced, btw she is a priestess so hide yall children as I can not garuentee their safety lmao. *insert skull emoji* Apperently servants of god do paperwork, huh? That is weird so heaven in reality is just one giant bureaucracy? Woah woah getting to philosophical here! back to the story!

Some elder priest came in telling Lydia to deal with this younger priest that is spreading illuminati confirmed conspiracies. So Lydia had use common sense which is rare in religion but she is built different I guess.

The young priest thinks the world is going to end based on a single volcanic eruption, smh I don't know what place he went to, to learn but it sure ain't school, bruh even my dog holds more knowledge than this idiot also learn how to spell you dumbass you can't even make a protest sign right!

chap 3

A lot of bla bla and explanations and exposition for SOMEONE WHO IS ABOUT TO FALL TO THEIR DEATH!!!! Bruh all these description of this feeling of being a mmo degenerate player and other exposition, like legit....

WE DO NOT CARE!!!!

ITS BORING OKAY!!!

Bruh this bish still thinks everyone are NPC not gonna they must be the most advanced NPC's ever created. I skimmed through the rest because you know BORING!!!!!!

chap 4

Bruh Milo is having a clothes changing reverse cliche going on, with kasumi picking the clothes. I forgot to tell yall that we at some dude's (called Paul) store. Kasumi is so much of a mmoppg degenerate that it makes me sick, like your jokes/ retorts SUCK ASS, SHUT UP PLEASE even a 5 year old telling yo mama jokes is funnier then the crap she spits out.

Bruh Milo is acting embarrised for colthes because its too revealing like dayum, the femboi energy is high is this one lmao. Kasumi just went "just go change you fukin beta cuck" lol.

alright Kasumi left and Milo tried to be philosophical but he stupid anyways too much slice of life sht!

NEXT!

chap 5

Okay uh Mister Morin some random cucklord was sitting at his fav café we legit like don't care so...... eh.

Apparently he got triggered because some random ass waiter just did her fukin job like, imagine she served the cup and coffee just moved a bit but did not spill and guy went like:

ReAlLy, WhAt HaS ThE WoRlD CoMe To?

CaNt MoNeY BuY GoOd SeRvIcE AnYmOrE?

BRO BRO BRO HOW ABOUT YOU GET A FUCKING JOB YOURSELF STUPID ASS BOOMER READING NEWSPAPERS, like he is such a loser that he has nothing else better to do then to roast people that doing their jobs perfectly (Dayum I think I just called myself out lmao), get some coochie old man, oh wait nvm the last time you had some was never lmao.

Bruh now he is devouring newspapers since I guess he was too poor to afford food along with the coffee and then roasted the café again for serving the mid coffee, like you fukin donkey why are even here if they serve sht according to you, get a damn life man, even incels that haven't left the house for over 2 decades have more of a life going for them jeSUS.

Paul and Milo had some convo when Kasumi left, it was supposed to mean something but I don't have 150 IQ so I have no damn idea what Jagai is. Probably some bootleg god or something.

Okay so Milo had his night shift of searching people trying to traffic hentai mags, while a Lydia Wode Ninja'd here way in Paul shop, then the both of them had totally uninteresting talk no justu and the chapter ends.

DONE!

Final review:

While reading this story I could just feel that the author hasn't gone outside for at least 8 months, the sheer geekness is the proof of that. Book so boring even I would rather read "The Unabomber Manifesto: Industrial Society and Its Future by Ted Kaczynski" then to read at a single letter of this story again.

Touch Some Grass/10 would rather play Genshin Impact then read this again.

XD XD XD XD JK JK JK JK JKJKJK JK

To be honest this is interesting enough not a lot is happening but at least the characters are fun. It has potential. If you like Geeky gals that think everyone is an NPC and the slice of life vibe then give it a read!

P.S: If you want to enter too, please apply at the form!

P.S.S: (Yes playing Genshin Impact is an actual insult because I sure don't touch that garbage fite me you spend over 500$ just to get some loli waifu lmao)

Now see ya at the next reactionary/roast chapter!

Author Link: https://www.honeyfeed.fm/u/6912