Chapter 4:

Chapter 4 - Zombies

Monster Girl versus the Multiverse (Isekai)

The tomb was a dark labyrinth of winding halls, black coffins, and wall-mounted torches. Akumi, Emma, and Weasel had to walk single file due to how narrow the space was.

Akumi shivered in the cold air. 'This place gives me the c-c-creeps! I knew coming here was a bad idea!'

Emma sighed. 'How is Dungeons & Drakes Online World Champion afraid of a Dungeon?'

'Most Dungeons aren't like this! They're usually bright, wide open spaces full of beautiful architecture, exotic creatures, and breathtaking loot! Not tombs! I hate tombs! My Guild Master locked me in the Frozen Necropolis for my initiation ceremony! I still have nightmares about it!' She tapped Weasel on the shoulder. 'If you see any Undead Yeti, I want you to jump right in front of them to protect me, you understand?'

Weasel sighed. 'Yes, mistress.'

'Would you relax, Monster Girl?' said Emma. 'You're a close-quarters combat specialist, and I'm a long range combat specialist; so long as we don't run into a Death Knight or something, we should be fine.'

Akumi sighed. 'I suppose....' She snapped around and pointed at Emma. 'HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT A DEATH KNIGHT IS?! YOU SAID Dungeons & Drakes Online IS FOR VIRGINS!'

Emma smirked. 'Eyes front, soldier.'


Eventually, they path led them to a great chamber. The torches burned blue, the black coffins rested upright against the walls, and at the centre lay a wooden chest before a stone sarcophagus.

Emma lay down, her Barrett .50cal resting on the floor in front of her. ‘Looks like a boss area. If the Easter Egg is in this Dungeon, it'll be in that chest.'

Akumi took a few steps backwards. 'Hey, Weasel, you're a thief; you go sneak over to the chest and open it. I'll give you moral support from over here.'

Weasel twiddled his thumbs. 'You know, mistress, they say the best way to overcome fear is by exposing yourself to what you're afraid of. If you want, you could transform into a Goblin Girl Rogue, and I could just tell you how to open the chest.'

Akumi leaned over his shoulder and grinned. 'Weasel-chan, I've been awfully hungry since I became an Ogre Girl Tank, and I have a goblin curry recipe right here.'

Weasel frowned. 'Damn it.'

He crouched down, crept up to the chest, and got out a pair of lockpicks. He inserted the lockpicks into the lock and turned them back and forth for a long while.

Akumi whispered to him. 'What's the hold up?'

Weasel looked over his shoulder. 'This is a Master-level lock; I'm only an Adept-level lockpick. It's alright, though. I think I've got it.' He turned the lockpicks in the lock.


Half a lockpick spun away and fell to the stone floor.

Ting! Ting! Ting!

The sound echoed throughout the chamber.


Akumi, Emma, and Weasel tensed.

Nothing happened.

Weasel slowly turned to them and gave a sheepish grin.

The coffins burst open.

A dozen Nazi Zombies shambled out.

Akumi recognised these mid-level mobs from Call of Honour Online's Nazi Undead Mode. Though they moved slowly, they were a nightmare to kill. She shuddered.

The Nazi Zombies groaned and turned their MP 40 submachine guns on Weasel.

Weasel screamed.

Akumi was fine with the goblin being turned into goblin curry ingredients; she'd brought him to the Dungeon as cannon fodder, anyway.

Then she realised that the bullets might damage the chest.

Akumi dashed in front of Weasel and cleaved three Nazi Zombies in half. 'GET THE HELL AWAY FROM MY RARE ITEM DROPS!'

As Weasel ran for it, the Nazi Zombies opened fire on Akumi.

The bullets bounced off her orichalcum plate armour, but the impacts they made still knocked her backwards. She wasn't heavy enough to use the armour to its full potential yet!

A Nazi Zombie's chest exploded.

Then another.

And another!

Emma was sniping them from the hall!

The Nazi Zombies turned their MP 40s on her.

Akumi regained her balance, equipped an iron round shield, and decided to see if she could still do the Monster Mash.

She shield charged a Nazi Zombie against a wall, turning it into a red splat, swung around and chopped the head off another, blocked a spray of bullets from a line of Bad Guy Marksmanship Academy valedictorians, and transformed into a Goblin Girl Rogue. She darted behind the Nazi Zombies, quickly stabbed them all in the back with her poisoned daggers, and dodged a faceful of buckshot from a shotgun-toting Nazi Draugr. A sniper shot blasted the monster from behind, but it shrugged off the damage and returned fire, forcing Emma to take cover further down the hall. Akumi transformed into a Werewolf Girl Warrior and slashed the shotgun away from the Nazi Draugr before jumping onto it and biting down on its neck. The mob backhanded her away, and she tumbled to the floor alongside the Winchester Model 1887.

She grinned. Sucker!

Akumi transformed into a Zombie Girl Gunslinger. Her skin became grey and criss-crossed with stitches, her eyes glowed orange, and her cheeks ripped until she had an ear-to-ear smile. She grabbed the shotgun and aimed for the Nazi Draugr's head. 'Sayonara, sister!'


Its brains exploded out of its skull.


Akumi took a moment to breathe.

With all the Nazi Zombies dead, she got up called to Emma. 'You okay, Gun Girl?!'

Emma entered the chamber. 'I'm fine. Your goblin ran away, though.'

Akumi smiled and shrugged. 'That's okay. Goblins are cowards. Next time, I'll enslave a dwarf.'

Emma put her fingers to the bridge of her nose as though she were having a migraine. 'Monster Girl, if you're going to be an edgelord, could you at least take off the outfit first?'

'Eh?' Akumi inspected herself and realised she was wearing the Nazi Draugr's Waffen-SS officer's cap and uniform; her Zombie Girl Gunslinger must have come with legacy gear. She laughed. 'Oops!'

Something burst out of the stone sarcophagus.

A skeletal body floating in the air, a tattered World War II fighter pilot uniform, and a Panzerfaust rocket launcher.

It was a Nazi Lich!

Though Akumi had never played against the boss, she had seen videos of it destroying whole squads of Call of Honour Online players on YouChan.

The monster gave a high-pitched scream and flew wildly around the room.

Akumi and Emma opened fire, but they couldn't hit their rapidly moving target.

'Screw this!' Akumi transformed into an Ogre Girl Tank. 'I'll just tank anything it throws at me!' She roared and shield charged the mob.

Emma stretched her hand out. 'Wait! Monster Girl, don't—'

The Nazi Lich stopped in mid-air and fired a rocket at her.

Her iron round shield exploded, her orichalcum plate armour shattered, her flesh was flayed from her body.

She went flying, hit a wall, fell to the floor.


Joe Gold