Chapter 7 - Loot

Nothing happened.

Akumi frowned. 'What's going on?! I can't log out!'

'Huh,' said Emma. 'Same here.'

'Oh my god! We've been trapped in a VR death game! It's just like the Dark Fantasy Online Incident! I can't compete in a VR death game! My internet sucks!'

Emma placed her hand on Akumi's shoulder. 'Relax, Monster Girl. Don't panic. There's a failsafe in place in case something like this happens, remember? All we need to do is say the manual override password, and our VR helmets will shut themselves down.'

'Oh yeah! You're right!'

They spoke together. 'System disengage!'

Nothing happened.

Akumi began to shake. 'It didn't work?!'

Emma took a deep breath. 'Okay. Let me test something.' She turned to Bunny-Bear. 'What's brown and sticky?'

Bunny-Bear's rabbit ear perked up. 'What?'

'A stick.'

Bunny-Bear burst out laughing.

Monster Slayer shook his head. 'Terrible.'

Emma ground her teeth. AI could do many things, but one thing it absolutely couldn't do was understand anti-humour.

She unequipped her Barrett .50cal and floating Desert Eagles and placed her hands on Akumi's shoulders. 'Monster Girl, I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is we haven't been trapped in a VR death game.... The bad news is...we've been isekai'd.'

Akumi gave a serene smile. 'What do you mean “we've been isekai'd”?' Her face became demonic. 'I DIDN'T EVEN GET HIT BY A TRUCK! I LOOK BOTH WAYS WHEN I CROSS THE STREET SPECIFICALLY FOR THAT REASON! ALL I DID WAS PUT ON MY VR HELMET AND START MULTIVERSE ONLINE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN “WE'VE BEEN ISEKAI'D?!”' She started shaking Emma by the shoulders while ranting incoherently. At least the girl was taking her new isekai reality better than she'd taken her old VR death game reality.

Monster Slayer put his hand to the chin of his helmet. 'Hmmm. It's possible your “VR helmets” acted as Dungeon Gates. Spontaneous Dungeon Gates do manifest randomly in locations considered beyond the boundaries of the normal world. However, the idea of two Spontaneous Dungeon Gates appearing simultaneously and leading you both to the same location is absurd. It's more likely that you were transported here through Summoned Dungeon Gates conjured by a magician.'

Akumi let got of Emma and whirled on Monster Slayer. 'WHAT KIND OF MORON MAGICIAN WOULD SUMMON US?! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED, TIN MAN, BUT WE'RE GAMERS! ASIDES FROM BEING THE LINCHPIN OF THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRY, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH!'

Emma steadied herself against a wall and inspected the tomb around her. 'Good question. If this is a foreign multiverse, then why are enemies, weapons, and environments from VRMMOs local to our universe showing up? Hell, why did we cross over with the same Abilities, stats, and equipment as our VRMMO characters? It doesn't make any sense.'

Akumi ran to the body of the Frankenstein's Minotaur and started punching it in the face. 'BAKA BAKA BAKA! MY FAMILY IS GOING TO BE SO WORRIED ABOUT ME! BAKA BAKA BAKA!'

Emma scowled. 'That's a good point. My regiment at Fort Hamilton is going to wondering where I am. This is all so strange.'

Bunny-Bear hopped up to her. 'I think we'd better get y'all to the Adventurers Guild Headquarters in Babel. I reckon we can answer at least some of your questions there.' She walked over to the wooden chest. 'But first, let's get our loot! Oh, I should explain Dungeon Chests. Adventurers make wishes on Dungeon Chests, and the higher the chest's rank, the more accurately their wishes will be granted in the form of loot. From lowest to highest, the ranks are Bronze, Silver, Gold, and Platinum. From the looks of the metal casing on this one, we've got ourselves a Bronze Rank Dungeon Chest!'

Huh, thought Emma. Like a loot box....

Bunny-Bear patted the Dungeon Chest. 'Everyone gather 'round so you can make your wishes. If you have any Gods, Demon Kings, or Titans you’d like to pray to, now’s the time.’

Everyone gathered around the wooden chest.

Monster Slayer knelt down and placed his hands together. 'By the grace of Odin, I wish for a Holy Hand Grenade so that I might better smite the filthy hordes of the undead.'

The Dungeon Chest opened, and a golden grenade with a crucifix pin floated out.

Monster Slayer took it, and the Dungeon Chest snapped shut.

Bunny-Bear knelt down and placed her bear paws together. 'By the grace of Gaia and Jesus, I wish for the Elixir of Life so that I may be forever young.'

Monster Slayer sighed. 'You know that won't work on a Bronze Rank Dungeon Chest, Bun.'

'Shut up. Yes it will. My faith is strong.'

The Dungeon Chest opened, and a minor healing potion floated out.

Bunny-Bear made a face like she'd just taken a bite out of a lemon. 'Dagnabbit.' She took the potion.

'I told you,' said Monster Slayer. 'You're too much of a gambler.'

Emma nodded. 'I think I see how this works.' She knelt down and placed her hands together. 'By the grace of God, I wish for a Franchi SPAS-12 semi-automatic shotgun with 100 rounds of Remington brand buckshot.'

The Dungeon Chest opened, and a shotgun with a small box of ammunition floated out.

Bunny-Bear jumped up and down, hopping mad. 'Favouritism!'

Emma took the items, loaded the SPAS-12, and pumped out a shell. 'Interesting.'

Akumi hesitated for a moment before kneeling down and placing her hands together. 'By the grace of the Buddha, I wish my horse—which Gun Girl killed—could be resurrected.'

Emma rolled her eyes. 'Are you still mad about that?'

The Dungeon Chest opened, and a glowing blue horse clambered out.

Akumi's eyes popped open. 'Horsey?!' She got up and tried to touch it, but her hands phased through its body. 'You're a ghost now?!'

The horse neighed.

Bunny-Bear shrugged. 'I guess a Bronze Rank Dungeon Chest wasn't enough to fully resurrect it.'

The horse turned its head to Emma, stared at her for a moment, and then sneezed. Bright green ectoplasm splattered all over the front of her clothes.

Emma gave the horse a death stare and equipped a Desert Eagle. 'I'm going to kill it again.'

Bunny-Bear positioned herself between them with her bear paws raised. 'Wait wait wait! No more violence! You're even stevens now!'

Akumi snickered. 'Can't say you don't deserve it, Gun Girl.' She turned to the horse. 'Now, I should give this guy a name.' She looked deep into the beast's shining white eyes. 'Since you're a ghost horse, how about Nightmare?'

The horse whinnied.

'Perfect! Now, humour me for a second, horsey.’ Akumi transformed into a Zombie Girl Gunslinger and patted Nightmare's neck. 'Yep! It's just like in Dungeons & Drakes Online: only undead can touch ghosts!' She pulled a hair from the horse’s mane, ate it, and transformed into a Ghost Girl. Her skin glowed blue, her body became gaunt, and her hair grew long and wiry. She walked straight through the Dungeon Chest. 'Awesome! I'm a Ghost Girl Scout!'

Monster Slayer's right eye blazed. 'Monster Girl...you're not a real monster, are you?'

'Eh? Me? No, I'm a human. This is just my Ability.'

The fire in Monster Slayer's right eye dimmed. 'Good.'

Bunny-Bear swatted his arm. 'Don't you worry none about him, darlin'! Slayer's just prejudiced against monsters, is all! It's a mighty fine Ability! Mighty fine!'

'Thanks!' Akumi beamed.

The Dungeon Chest suddenly burst into flame and disintegrated into a pile of ashes.

‘Alright,’ said Monster Slayer. ‘Enough chit chat. Now that we’ve got our loot, we'd better get out of here before a new Dungeon Gate opens up.’

Just then, the far wall crumbled away.

What Emma saw on the other side amazed her.