Believe in Yourself... And Your Heart

“Now who could that be?” Aria wondered aloud. “I can’t imagine many people would be able to make it out here of all places.”

The faint presence of mana pulled her attention away from her exploration. In fact, she picked up on two separate sources of mana. Aria shivered as a cold wind blew through the open bordergate. She had been gathering materials to use for a fire. Her plan was to drag Lacia inside, out of the cold, and lay her beside the warmth of its flames. Lacia was broken and bruised, her body allocating every last resource it had to keep her alive.

The corridor was dimly lit and bitter cold, but wind and snow were nonexistent inside the gate. A fire would warm them both up and hopefully ease the strain on Lacia’s body, but whoever was making the trek through the blizzard conditions was either incredibly foolish… or they knew what they were doing. Aria couldn’t afford to take any chances. She quickly set up a warding around the tent and herself–weak, but good enough.

A shadow broke through the wall of blowing snow, followed by a second moments later. Aria closed her eyes, heightening her state of consciousness to a hyper-sensitive level. There were no detectable levels of malice that she could find, but she dared not throw caution to the wind just yet. She dug her heels into the snow, cold creeping into her boots. Aria heightened her consciousness further. The world around her fell silent–her heartbeat the only sound in a noiseless void.

“There’s definitely two people,” she said, concentrating. “One male, one female, but their mana levels are so low. Who would make such a perilous venture with so little mana?” An idea sprang into her head. “The cool thing about telepathy is that its mana-usage is pretty low,” she mumbled. “Sadly, this really isn’t the time to learn something new.” She inhaled sharply and focused her thoughts on the female. She only had one shot. If she missed her target, her consciousness would slingshot back at her like a rubber band. If she was lucky, the worst-case scenario would only be rolling blackouts. “My luck has been awful recently, so please let this work,” she exhaled. “Here goes nothing.”

A steady hum buzzed through Mana’s head. Her body felt numb, but not from the cold. It was more akin to a dream-state–a helpless one–half awake, half asleep.

“Brendan, her mana levels aren’t improving,” Licht warned. “The natural mana around you should be replenishing them, but they just keep dropping.”

“Dammit,” Brendan cursed. “I don’t have enough to get us back, either.”

Mana lifted her head from Brendan’s shoulder. “It’s ok,” she said woozily, “I’m good now.” She crouched down, trying to steady herself before attempting to stand. Taking note of her worsening condition, Brendan grabbed her arms as he tried to steady her himself.

“Look me in the eyes, Mana. Can you see me?”

She stared out into space. Her vision slowly darkened as the buzzing in her head returned with a vengeance. Anxiety pumped through her veins. Her final few conscious thoughts were full of fear and confusion. “Am I going blind? Can’t think straight…”

“No, but your mana levels are dangerously low,” a female voice replied.

“Ooo. There’s a voice in my head. Hehe…” Mana giggled, but she felt herself losing touch quickly. She clutched Brendan’s pant leg before passing out, narrowly avoiding a face-front assault into the snow.

“Licht, did you hear anything? She just fainted, but said something about a voice in her head.”

“No. I–”

Brendan held a hand up to the Leyliner. “Hold on. There’s someone else here.” His muscles stiffened. He sent a weak pulse of mana through the air like magical sonar. The outline of a person sketched itself into Brendan’s mind, but it was fuzzy. Was there a mana-disruption field nearby? A tugging at his pant leg brought him back to his senses.

“Go to her,” Mana said, one hand on her temple and another clutching Brendan’s pant leg. She was in and out of consciousness–early stages of full mana-contraction. “Yes. She’s with–” The grip on Brendan’s pant leg loosened as Mana blacked out again.

“Who are you?” Brendan utterd, staring into the indeterminable direction of whoever was hidden in the snow.

Aria tightened the laces on her boots as they compacted the snow beneath them with every step, uncertainty laid out before her. “Hang tight, Lacia,” she gritted her teeth. “We’re all going to make it out of here. Alive.” She stared into the wall of white in front of her. “I’m not doing this for myself,” she paused, “I’m doing this for you.”

Brendan kneeled to the ground, shielding Mana from the wind.

“Man, this sucks,” Brendan said through chattering teeth of his own. “It’s so damn cold out here and it won’t stop snowing”

The Leyliner floated around to face Brendan. “I know, but this is a naturally abundant region. The leylines that flow through here are rich in mana,” Licht explained. “You’ll have enough to get to the bordergate before long, but–”

A strong magical presence roared through the encroaching darkness. There was no masking its powerful presence. The Leyliner chirped and spun.

“Did you just sense that through the Leyliner? Seriously?”

“Uhh, yeah,” Licht said in shock. “Wow. I was saving that feature for version 1.1.”

“As comedic as ever,” Brendan said, rolling his eyes. He picked Mana up from the ground, tightly wrapping his arms around her. They’d come this far. It was the least he could do to protect her in such a vulnerable state. Math wasn’t his strong suit, but he calculated there was a fifty-fifty chance this person was friendly. “Who are you?” Brendan demanded.

A girl emerged from the darkness as she threw the hood of her coat off. She brushed the snow from her brows. Thick wintry apparel acted as makeshift camouflage, although her black tights made her look more like a walking snowman than a person. “What a way to treat the girl who saved your friend from being killed and sacrificed by a Devil,” she said, feeling hurt. “That girl you’re holding, let me see her.”

“Wha–?”

“I’d say you can trust me, but literally every villain ever says that, so–” She walked over to Mana as she felt her up. “She’s ill. That’s why her mana isn’t replenishing. I’d reason she probably overexerted herself, too.”

A million questions pulsed through Brendan’s mind. Who was this girl? Why was she here of all places? “How do you know all of that and what are you doing out here?”

“I’ll explain on the way.”

“The way to where?” Brendan demanded.

“The Gila bordergate first, then the person you’ve been looking for this whole time.” She turned her back to Brendan indicating she wanted him to follow her. “Oh, my name is Aria, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

Aria explained everything from the ship to the flash-freeze to the brawl with Lucifero and even her time with Lacia. Arriving at the bordergate, Brendan noticed a large pile of tattered clothing, wooden torch hilts, and a number of twigs near the entryway. It looked as if someone were attempting to gather materials for a fire. The only thing missing was a bag of marshmallows.

“Leave your friend here. She’ll be safer not out in all of that,” Aria said, noting the increased ferocity of the storm, “but I need your help. My mana is low, too, and as I explained, defeating a Devil is no easy task. Can you use enough of your mana to light this pile of junk?”

A loud snap bounced off the walls of the bordergate. A quick burst of heat and light melted the cold darkness from Brendan and Aria’s bones. The flickering light of the fire chased the shadows back into their musky corners.

“Mana-contraction syndrome. That’s what your friend has. I can help her, but it’ll have to wait until morning. Speaking of,” she inquired, “why is night falling midday?”

Brendan scratched his head. “I was hoping you’d have the answer to that,” he groaned. “Look, there’s a lot going on out there right now. This is way bigger than you or me, but you already know that, don't you?”

Aria fixated on the fire as she spoke. “These Devils are no joke. I won’t be able to defeat another alone.” She shifted her gaze towards Brendan. The exhaustion in her eyes was evident. “I’m asking you for help because, as you can see, neither of us,” she tilted her head towards Lacia, “are in great shape.”

“Then let me introduce you to someone, Aria,” Brendan said. “Licht, are you still there? Come introduce yourself.” A brief moment later, the Leyliner whirred to life, zipping around to hover at Brendan’s side.

“I presume you’re Aria,” the Leyliner spoke. “My name is Licht and this thing is called a Leyliner. I promise I’m not an advanced AI from a hundred years in the future.”

A look of mild surprise struck Aria’s face. “It’s nice to meet you, Licht. If I may, might I ask why you aren’t here now?”

“I’m not magically adept in offense or defense, but the little I can use I can infuse into small devices like these. Because of that, I would only become a liability if I were to join Brendan and Mana in-person,” he emphasized. “I would only cause trouble, but I’m able to support the effort in other ways.”

“Licht is a history buff. Not only that, as you can see, he’s also technologically gifted as well.” With introductions out of the way, Brendan began to pick Aria’s brain. He wanted to know what she knew about recent events. “I don’t suppose you’ve heard of a certain popular Alurian myth, have you?”

“There are a few I was told as a child, but–” It hit her like a slap in the face. “The Reverse World? You can’t be serious,” she exclaimed, raising her voice.

“Think about it, Aria,” Licht said. “Lucifero attacked Lacia in her dreams because he was after whatever this gift is that she has. Had he successfully stolen that gift, well, what would the third ranked Devil of the Reverse World do with something we know little about, but holds such potential?”

“At this point, it’s probably fairly evident to the rest of the Reverse Royalty that Lucifero was defeated. Like you said, you can’t fight another Devil alone and we wouldn’t let you,” Brendan said, joining the conversation. “The next fights won’t be so simple.”

“There’s more to the myth, but it would be best if we waited for Lacia and Mana to regain consciousness first, seeing as this involves the both of them, so you two get some rest,” Licht said. “I need to make some software updates anyways and conversation will distract me from my work.”

“Licht’s right,” Brendan said. “We need to rest so we can replenish our mana. We’ll plan our next move when the girls are awake. Besides, with our mana levels already low, there’s nothing we could do anyways.”

Aria looked reluctant, but she didn’t argue. She was exhausted and in her current state she could hardly help herself, much less anyone else. “Alright. Don’t let me sleep too long and if you have any weird dreams, tell me.”

“Weird dreams?”

“You’ll know it if you have them.”

Aria closed her eyes. Sleep: a welcome relief and an enormous piece to an increasingly complex multi-dimensional puzzle.

Brendan was the first to stir. Despite laying on a stone floor, he felt strangely rested. Aria was several feet from where she had initially fallen asleep. “She must’ve gotten too warm laying by the fire and all,” Brendan mumbled. Her breathing was ragged and inconsistent before steadying itself a moment later.

The Leyliner flared to life as Brendan approached. A holographic text box popped out: Software Update Commenced.

“Software update, huh? He must’ve been busy. Guess I’d better check on Lacia and Mana.”

“They will be just fine. Their resolve is strong. You, however, I am quite curious about,” came a voice. It was smooth as silk, but strangely comforting. “What is it that keeps you going, Brendan Greyriter?”

“Well this is awkward. Now I’m hearing voices.”

The dimly lit coals from the fire basked the bordergate in a warm orange glow. The fire had burnt down to embers, but smoke continued to billow from the center with a ferocious fervor.

“Ahh. You have a sense of humor. I like that,” the voice said. “I’ve already paid a visit to Mana, multiple times. Her heart has been battered and bruised, but her motivations are clear. However, I have yet to determine what motivates you.”

Brendan wracked his brain. “A strange voice that’s visited Mana multiple times… Are you who she’s been calling Omnis?”

The smoke had transformed the corridor into a large, white room. No… it was more akin to that of a large hall, nested inside an alternate plane of reality. Water trickled from a vaulted ceiling, splashing into the shallow pool beneath Brendan’s feet.

“Allow me to show you something.”

A bubble of shifting colors drifted into Brendan’s hands. It rested perfectly between his palms. “If emotions could take corporeal form, this small bubble would be the very embodiment of them.”

“That bubble is a culmination of the heart of someone who cares very deeply for you. It yearns for the one thing that can fill the void in it. Can you feel the tears that have been shed? The uncertainty and fear that comprise every drop?” The room began to shift in color before rectifying into a fiery sunset-orange. The voice ebbed with a heavenly aura. “Now let those emotions imbue themselves into your heart, Brendan Greyriter.”

The colors shifted into a mixture of orange, silver, and blue. Brendan felt like he was being transported through space-time. Colors began to intertwine with a whirlwind of emotions he never knew existed. Tears began to form in the corners of his eyes until they streamed down his face in torrents. His heart paraded around in his chest. Every heartbeat brought about a new flood of emotions that tore through him like a meteor blazing through Earth’s atmosphere. The emotional scars that had hidden themselves away began to resurface–the pain was unbearable. He squeezed his eyes shut as his emotions spiraled out of control.

“Brendan?” a female voice called. “Brendan, are you ok?” He opened his eyes to find a girl standing before him. “It took you long enough,” she said in a quivering voice.

The sun had begun to set, but he was no longer at the Gila bordergate. Grass sprouted through the rocks that littered the ground, eroding as time passed–back into the earth as loamy soil. An expanse laid out before him: an open field. Wet blades of grass grazed his fingers as he balled his fists into the cool earth. His tears turned the soil into dark shades of brown, dirt smearing his shirt as he brought a hand up, tightly clutching his chest. A warm breeze transformed his hair into streams of gold in the setting sun.

Brendan lifted his head only to find a younger version of himself in front of him. The girl had disappeared. He dried his eyes as new emotions lined up one by one as if they were preparing an assault on his heart.

“Young master, please come back inside,” a weary voice called out. “You’ll catch cold!”

Brendan hadn’t noticed the downpour he was now standing in, but he also didn’t care. He watched as an exchange between his younger self and what looked to be a well-dressed older man resumed. Something about the exchange felt vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t place it. He surmised that he was a near-decade in the past.

“I told her I would wait for her to come back home like she promised she would. This is something I have to do,” the younger Brendan shouted through the pouring rain. He stared down an empty road as if he were expecting the arrival of someone important any moment. The rain had turned the road to glass, reflecting the mass of solid gray overhead; a reflection of the turmoil in his heart.

“Your mother and father would have my head if you caught a cold on my watch. Come inside. I’ll draw you a hot bath and–”

“No. I told her I would wait. I’ll stand here like I promised I would. They can’t take her away…” He balled his fists in frustration as he turned to face the man before falling to his knees, slamming the ground. “Tell me they can’t take her, Hobson! Tell me!”

“What is this?” Brendan questioned as he watched the unfolding scene in front of him. “Why don’t I remember any of this?”

“Young master, I understand your frustrations, but there’s nothing we will be able to do if you continue to stand in this rainstorm. Aria will be alright. She’s going to be with her new family now and we have to accept that. Someday you, too, will find the perfect home, but until then,” Hobson crouched beside Brendan, holding an umbrella over the two, “please come back inside.”

A thick mist began to crawl across the pavement, raindrops quickly cooling the sun-scorched ground. Brendan felt as hazy as the growing mist, unable to make heads or tails of where he was or what he was witnessing. The little boy was definitely him, but he didn’t recognize the man he called Hobson. To make matters worse, he’d uttered Aria’s name like he’d known her all his life when they had only met for the first time a day prior. Before he could manifest even a semblance of an explanation, the scene shimmered and melted away like paint in the summer rain.

He’d never been one to embrace society’s idea of traditional masculinity. Emotions were his friend and he made sure everyone knew. These, however, were much more than just regular emotions. They were much stronger and highly unpredictable. He felt like someone flipped a switch. Innumerable emotions consumed him as colors pulsated and morphed into new images before him. For a brief moment, Brendan caught a glimpse of the bordergate, but it was well-lit and bustling with life–the polar opposite of its current state.

The scene shifted once more. Aria was where he had left her and Mana had curled up next to Lacia on the opposite side, fast asleep, but instinctively aware Lacia was with her. “Good,” he smiled. The reality of Lacia’s return to the group wasn’t lost on him, but her abduction had blindsided him–testament to the chaos his reality had become since. He cared for her, there was no denying that fact.

“There is one more thing you need to see,” the voice spoke, echoing around him through a blur of speeding colors.

“Wait,” Brendan shouted, “what is all of this–these emotions?”

A momentary pause filled the silence. “You’ll understand in time.”

After what felt like millenia, the colors began to congeal into a solid image. The sun hadn’t moved from its earlier position in the sky and the dirt had retained the impressions from Brendan’s fists and tears. It was almost as if time didn’t flow in this strange world.

A sweet-scent wafted on the wind, familiar, but he couldn’t place where he knew it from. Another gust returned the familiar scent to his nostrils, stronger this time, triggering a series of long-forgotten memories. One in particular stood out the most:

It was a dark, rainy night in April. Brendan was on his way to the mall to meet up with a friend–a girl he had known since elementary school. Neon lights painted the town in a fluorescent glow as rain plastered the roads and sidewalks creating artificial mirrors. It was as if the town were looking back at its own reflection. Tires splashed through puddles in the road, dousing anyone unfortunate enough to be caught in the wake. To Brendan, it was a perfect night.

Upon arrival, he shot a quick text and walked inside: “Where are you?” Finding a table inside the food court, Brendan took a seat under the skylight as he kicked back. He was perfectly relaxed. He felt great–the best he had in a long time. Fifteen seemed like a huge milestone, despite only having been a teenager for the last three years. Tonight, though, he was content with just spending his birthday evening in the presence of his favorite person.

His phone buzzed on the table, momentarily startling him as he checked the screen. It was a text message. “I’m inside Azalea’s Apparel. Come meet me inside!”

“As much as I’d rather not walk into a women’s clothing store, if I don’t pull her out of there, she’ll spend her entire allowance,” Brendan joked.

Twenty minutes later, Brendan successfully dragged himself and his favorite spender out of the store. The damage had been done, but she was thrilled to death.

“Come back anytime, Miss! We appreciate your patronage,” the store manager called out the storefront, “and don’t forget, tomorrow is BOGO!”

“Aria, no. Don’t do it. You don’t need it,” Brendan said warily, knowing how easy it was to suck her in and how difficult it was to drag her out.

“I’ll for sure be back tomorrow,” Aria shouted through the closing door. “You can count on my patronage!”

Brendan sighed. She was a handful, but he loved her. The enthusiastic faces she would make and the way her entire body seemed to radiate with energy–all of it. He loved everything about her.

“Sorry for dragging you back into Azalea’s again,” Aria said half-apologetically. “On the bright side, we have the rest of the night to do whatever else now.” She tilted her head, hair falling to the side as she gave Brendan a pearly smile. The night was theirs.

“There’s somewhere I’d like to go, actually. How does a late dinner in the Nebula sound?” Brendan asked. He wanted the big announcement he had planned something neither of them would ever forget. Their feelings for each other were mutual. They’d been friends since before they even knew what the word “friend” meant, and Brendan had made an honest effort through the years to understand what made Aria tick. A dinner under the stars sounded like the perfect opportunity to prove it.

“That’s that telescope-restaurant thing, right? Where you can sit underneath an actual nebula of stars?” Aria began to imagine the menu. “I’ve heard the food is really good.”

“Yep! Let’s hurry, though. They added some new items so there’s probably a huge wait list.”

“Mm! Ok!”

The wait was shorter than Brendan expected. They were seated within fifteen minutes and were able to order a few short minutes after that.

“So, what do you think? Beautiful isn’t it? There’s not another place on Earth like this and being here with you makes it even better,” Brendan said, gazing starry-eyed.

“That sounded like a confession of his feelings,” Aria thought, looking at Brendan. “Is he finally going to say it?” She felt the blood rush to her cheeks. Her ears grew warm. Had the restaurant not relied upon blacklights for atmosphere, she would have been as red as a beat.

Aria’s phone rang in her handbag, snapping her out of her daze. It was from a number she didn’t recognize, but something told her it was important, this late at night. “Hello? This is Aria Miruna,” she answered. Brendan watched as the life in Aria’s eyes vanished, the color draining from her face. She gripped the side of the table to steady herself. “Ok. Thank you.” She hung up the phone.

“Who was it?” Brendan asked, careful not to tread too far into unknown territory. “Is everything ok?” The concern on his face was noticeable.

“Huh? Oh, no. It’s nothing to worry about,” she reassured him. “Elena just watched the latest episode of ‘Saya x Yuki’, that one romance anime everyone is raving about currently, and told me that Yuki finally kissed Saya.” She rolled her eyes, phone in hand. “Ughh. Those two give me emotional damage, I swear. Elena, too, if she doesn’t stop changing her number. Sorry to have worried you.”

Brendan let out a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness,” he said. “I’ve been watching other seasonal anime so I can’t relate, but I’m glad it wasn’t anything serious.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just really wanted to see it happen while the episode was airing,” she laughed, rubbing the back of her head, “but spending the evening with you, on your birthday night no less, is infinitely better,” she teased.

“You know, you’ve got to stop scaring me like that, Aria. You’ve always done that, but I still love that side of you, regardless.”

Brendan paid the bill, tipping the waiter generously. He was feeling great and the experience was superb. He wanted to spread his joy with others tonight. There would be no settling for less-than-perfect.

The pair walked into the viewing room, allowing their meals to digest before walking around the mall for any extended length. The only light came from the stars themselves, allowing patrons to experience the full stellar beauty the cosmos had to offer. Brilliant hues of reds, oranges, blues, and purples cast their heavenly luminescence upon the room. Aria was transfixed by the magnificence.

“You know, I never thought I would get to do something like this with you when they took you away five years ago,” Brendan said softly, gazing at the stars. “I stood in the road for hours every day, hoping that you’d come back. I was heartbroken. You were my best friend and to have something like that taken from you…”

Aria grabbed his hand and held it in hers, gently clasping their emotions together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stay,” she said. “I’m sorry you had to suffer.” She looked Brendan in the eyes. A small smile forced its way onto her face. “He’s blushing, I can tell. How cute!”

“Aria–”

She shook her head, putting a finger to her lips. Her face flushed as she closed her eyes. “Now who’s blushing?” she thought, realizing the irony. She leaned in until she could whisper in his ear. “I’m in love with this feeling, Brendan. I’m–” she paused, “I’m in love with you.”

In that very moment Brendan’s entire world erupted into a supernova of enamored passion and desire. Everything he thought he knew vanished into the emptiness of the cosmos above him as the stars above gleamed in ecstatic magnitude. There was one side to Aria that Brendan didn’t know about, and it was this one: her long, silky-brown hair tucked behind one ear as she leaned in, the moisture on her breath against his ear, the feeling of her lips against his.

Brendan opened his eyes again. The sweet-scent wafted across the breeze once more–the passionate aroma of azaleas. He looked up, eyes no longer transfixed on the dark spots in the dirt, heartbeat steady. The girl from earlier stood before him again, and this time, he knew exactly who it was. There was only one person in the world who loved azaleas as much as her, and that perfume… “Aria.”

“Hey,” she said shyly, hands behind her back. “Long time no see.” The wind whipped around her, creating a flurry of ruffles in the pleats of her skirt and blouse. Her hair turned a shade of caramel in the basking orange sunset as her skin practically glowed all the same. “I’m back.”

Words could not describe Aria’s beauty. Likewise, there wasn’t a definitive emotion that Brendan could pin down to describe exactly what it was he was feeling. Like being caught in a sudden rainstorm, the spontaneity and mood were there. The waves of emotions that poured over him rippled out like an earthquake, relentless and oftentimes unforgiving.

“Aria, I–”

She shook her head. “Let me explain. I’m not who I used to be. I’m not like the girl in that memory. Not anymore.” She looked away. Sadness lined her eyes, barely-noticeable slits. “That night at the mall, after my parents picked me up, something terrible happened. Even though they were my adopted parents, it still broke me, and I hated the world for it. I became someone I never wanted to be.” Tears began to well up in her eyes.

Brendan noticed she looked much thinner compared to the last time he saw her, the night of his fifteenth birthday. Her eyes no longer held the same light they used to, but nothing would ever change the way he felt, even if they had both somehow forgotten each other.

“That night, our car was hit by a drunk driver who swerved into our lane. Mom and dad were killed upon impact and I– I just sat there in the back seat,” her voice shook, “covered in their blood and broken glass.” She took a deep breath. “Brendan, I hated everyone and everything. I was so mad that I left town entirely. I fell so far,” she whispered. “The world was my enemy and when I stumbled upon a series of essays claiming that it could theoretically be rewritten, well… Life meant absolutely nothing to me, as you can see.”

She walked down a set of train tracks, overgrown with grass and weeds. The rusted steel had turned the tracks dark brown and orange. Gravel crunched underneath the sole of her boots as she trudged forward, hands still clasped behind her. Despite her back being turned to him, Brendan could tell she was crying. She just didn’t want him to see.

“God, I even aided in the kidnapping of your friend,” she said exasperated. “What was I thinking? How could anyone love a monster like–” Brendan wrapped his arms around Aria like a sneak-attack.

“Aria. You are not a monster. What you did is not for me or anyone else to judge. If there’s a God out there or karma is to decide your fate,” he paused, “they’ll have to go through me first.”

Aria silently fell to her knees as she escaped Brendan’s grasp, letting gravity win their long-fought battle. Her knees slammed into the cool dirt. Dark splotches dotted her skirt as salty tears glistened in the setting sun. She wanted nothing more than to tell Brendan how she felt, yet they’d been apart for years. “He’s probably already scouted Mana–Lacia especially,” she thought. “How can he say such words and expect me to just stand here and smile?” The one thing she wanted most right now was just a little space.

“Aria,” he said softly, “we all have regrets. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, and I know you know that better than anyone.” He crouched down, level with her. “I don’t expect you to act like anyone other than yourself,” he placed a hand on her shoulder, facing her, “no one other than the girl I fell in love with that night at the mall.” He smiled, holding back his own tears of reminiscence.

“I– I just want to learn how to live without all of these regrets, Brendan.” Aria clenched her chest. “My heart hurts. My soul is screaming at me. I can hear the voices in my head telling me how awful I am–” Aria broke into a cacophony of sobs, more tear-sized dark spots joining its friends on her skirt. Emotions waxed and waned, unable to manage the onslaught of guilt, pain, and heartbreak. It would take more than a confession of Brendan’s love to mend her wounded heart.

The colors shifted in the sky as the stars began their routine shimmer; deep purples, reds, and dark blues held the last of the evening’s rays of light. “We may never know where the world and heaven end, but I know that, with you by my side,” Brendan removed his hand from Aria’s shoulder, grabbing her tear-soaked hands, “everything will fall into place.”

Aria’s heart raced as Brendan finished. Her eyes shone in the gleaming starlight, wet with tears as her heart collided with a wall of mixed emotions. She gasped for air, realizing she hadn’t taken a breath since before she fell into an emotional wreck.

The flickering dream she’d always longed for was staring right her in the face. With Brendan’s hands still in hers, she brought them to her cheeks, tears caressing his soft fingers before dripping off. It wasn’t a perfect dream, but it was her dream. Fear edged into Aria’s mind, afraid that if she let go of his hands, she would have to face the reality of losing him all over again.

“This isn’t the person I ever wanted to become. I hate myself. I’ve caused so much grief.” She scolded herself, not for her misplaced memories and misguided morality, but her failures as a friend, a romantic partner, and a human being. She wanted to believe everything would be alright. No… She stood up. “I want to believe in myself, again. I want to–”

Brendan wrapped his arms around Aria, tighter this time, holding her in a loving embrace. She eked out a small squeal, trying to push him off. She felt embarrassed, awkward. “This really isn’t the time,” she wanted to say, but decided to welcome the embrace–she let her arms fall at her side. “Fine,” she thought, “I guess this isn’t so terrible, after all.” Tears continued their descent to the ground, mixing and spilling with Brendan’s from earlier. “You can cry, too, you know?” she said with a sniffle and teary smile.

“Yeah, I know,” he said, “but I think I’ve got it under control.” His voice was shaky too. Watching Aria cry pained him. “Just another side to you I’ve yet to see, despite thinking I had you all figured out.” The tears came much easier than he’d expected.

“Why do you always have to trouble my heart like this?” Aria said between sobs. “I hate you when you do this to me, but I feel like I’m alive for the first time in years.” The last of the sky’s color faded away to reveal the full luster of the cosmos above, Aria’s belief in her dreams magnified by the magnitude.