Ice that never melts

What does it mean to be a human? Is it to have a noble mind, a judicious heart and the faculty of distinguishing between good and evil? And a beast doesn’t possess any of those. But what if there is any human not possessing those! What would you call it? A human or a beast or even worse than beast. It’s certain that it’s no human being. Being born with the title of human is easy but growing up as a human isn’t that easy.

6 Years Ago...

“Wake up, Ruu. Wake up or you gonna be late for school.”

“Hmm... What is it? ( with a gloomy face)”

“Oh, God! Do you even know the time?!”

“What? What?! It’s 8:50!! Why didn’t you wake me up early?”

“I tried. But who in the world can wake you up?!”

Then I quickly woke up from bed, went to toilet to push pass my limits. And then that was the last time I ever had breakfast with my family.

“Oh, man! Everyday it’s just waking up from bed, mom’s lectures, going to school, sensie’s lectures, coming home, again mom’s lectures. What a boring life! I need something new, something exhilarating. But the reality is so cruel. I am just a bird prisoned in cage. I wish I could fly freely in the sky.”

I guess at that time God granted my wish and set me free to fly in the sky, I cherished for. But he took away my eyes and made me blind. It’s just like a clear sky without stars, a beautiful world without humans and a human without humanity. 

When I reached school the first period was almost over. I was punished for being late and the whole school I stood outside the classroom. And now the reality has even become more cruel. Asuma sensie is going home with me to meet my mom. I think this is the last day for me. 

But I was wrong. The reality is the most cruel of all. 

“ Good afternoon, Mrs. Hoshi”

“Yes, please come in”

At the Guest Room...

“Why so sudden visit. Have my son done anything wrong?”

“Yes, you just guessed correct.”

“Oh, sir please forgive me. I am so ashamed.” 

“No, Mrs. Hoshi. Blaming yourself won’t change anything. My words might hurt you. But your son is now in the verse of destruction. First of all he is late in the school. Secondly he always sleeps in the class and doesn’t give any attention to his lessons. And can’t even solve a simple problem. At this rate I can see his future and it is so dark and cold. If this goes on then I Am afraid that your son will end up losing everything he has” 

After hearing those my mom was crying and that made me so sad. But I was in no position to talk.

“Ruu, come here.”

Her voice was so cold.

I went to the room 

“ Sit here.”

“Umm...”

“I say sit here ( with an angry voice)”

“Y- ye..s.”

“Ruu, is it true what I am hearing from your teacher?”

Silence...

“Talk to me. Is it true or not?”

“..I..gu..ess..so...”

“I see. Tell me why you are so indiscipline. Why? Why? Why don’t you listen to me? We lost your father 2 years ago in a car accident. I am hardly leading this family. And now you...”

She then started to cry even more.

“ Mom, I am sorry. Please don’t cry. I will be good boy. So, please don’t cry.”

Then I tried to hold her hands. But she resisted and slapped one my face.

“No, it’s my fault I gave birth to you. You should have never born! ( with a loud voice)”

Then I went to my room crying and locked the door. After a few minutes someone knocked at my door. 

“Ruu, open the door pls. I said too much. Pls open it . Pls. Won’t you forgive  your momma?”

Then I opened the door. As soon as she came in, she hugged me and burst into tears.

“ Sorry, Ruu. I am so sorry. Please forgive me. I am such a disgrace as mother. I could never give up happiness.”

“ No, don’t say like that. I am the one who is disgraceful. You are the best mom in the world.”

She started to cry even more.

“Don’t cry, mom. I won’t hurt you anymore. So, please stop crying.”

“ Oh, no. I am not crying. These are the tears of happiness. You have grown so much. I know you can succeed. I believe in you. Today was tough for you. But don’t worry. Tomorrow gonna be a good day.”

But tomorrow never came.

Then Asuma sensie came inside my room.

“I think you won’t be late in school tomorrow.”

“Yes, sensie. I am gonna do my bestest.”

“Sensie, why don’t you join us at dinner. You and mom will make a good match.”

Sensie went outside my room quickly with a red face.

“ Ruu, did you just say something? I don’t understand.”

“ No-no-no. Of course not. That must be your imagination.”

“I guess, you are right.”

Sensie was about leave.

“ Sensie, where are you going?”

“ I have some business to take care of. But don’t worry. I will be back before 8 at night.”

At 7:30 someone knocked our door for two times. I went downstairs quickly and opened the door. But there was no one. After about 10 minutes someone again knocked the door and this time it was sensie.

“ Sensie, did you just knocked our door a moment ago?”

“ No, I have just arrived here.”

“Whatever. But what’ in your hand? Is it ring?”

“ Yes, it’s a diamond ring.” 

“ Oh my God! You are gonna do that!!”

“Hey, hey. Don’t speak loudly or your mom gonna hear us.”

“ Sensie!”

“ Yes?!”

“Best of luck.”

With a red face he said, “ Yeah. Just you wait and see.”

*I heard from Kazua sensie that Asuma sensie, my mom and dad were friends in childhood. Asuma sensie liked my mom. But my mom liked dad. They went to the same school, same college and the same university. Sensie tried everything he could to impress my mom. But mom never gave damn about that. Cuz she fall for dad from the very beginning. And at the end of the day mom end up marrying dad and so I and Mizuhara were born. Poor sensie could nothing but to watch. He never even married and the chose the profession of teaching. After so many years he got an another chance. So, just how could he let it go. I understood the pain of his being a virgin. So, even I supported him. And also he is a honest man. So, I think it’s alright.

After having dinner I was waiting to see sensie’s tramp card.

But then-

“ Ruu, pls go outside with Mizuhara.”

“ But...”

“I and your sensie will gonna discuss something important.”

“ Then discuss it. Who told you not to?”

“ No, you have to go outside.”

“Umm... But...”

“Oh, yeah! Today is full moon. Why don’t you take Mizuhara outside to see?

“ Yes, oni-chan. Let’s go.”

“Okay... Or what can we do? Let’s go.”

There was a open field behind our house. We went there. When I looked at the sky the view was so amusing that I lost myself in the sky.

Suddenly I heard something exploding. I turned back and saw a huge fire on my house. It made me insane. I ran towards my house and shouted for help.

“Help, help. Pls someone put down the fire. Pls someone...”

“No one even came to see. Not even a single person! How can they be so selfish!Just how can they be!!Just how!!

It was so quiet at that night. My house was burning in front of me. But I didn’t feel warm. The reality was so just quite and cold that it froze my heart. Even the flames of hell can’t melt it!