[Phantom Pain of Rousoku Himawari] Dear You, Seven Years from Now

(After that incident at the grocery store, Rousoku and I kept in touch. We started hanging out quite a bit during that summer. It was a refreshing change of pace after leaving Kyoto behind. Really, Rousoku is one of the reasons I was able to get my head back on straight.)

Osamu found himself reminiscing about the past yet again. He closed his eyes, his feet tingling at the cold dirt and jagged pebbles at his feet, the sound of the ocean waves caressing his ears. He remembered that day, a date at the shore with Rousoku. Tara didn't have long stretches of golden sand adorned with palm trees. Osamu and Rousoku didn't care. They walked along they jagged, dirty shore with their shoes and socks in their hands on an overcast day, with no one around to bother them.
"Say, why did you leave Kyoto in the first place?" Rousoku asked.

"I'm not sure it's something you really want to hear. It's anything but a happy a story." Osamu said.

From just one look at his sullen eyes and tucked lips, Rousoku could tell Kyoto held a lot of painful memories for him. Osamu's silence all but revealed that whatever hurt he suffered in Kyoto was still there.

"I'm sorry. Then, let me ask something else. Do you have a girlfriend?" Rousoku questioned.

"Not any current ones, no. Why? Is there something you want to ask me?"

"W-well, I-I...Uhm...I really enjoy the time we spend together. Meeting you also helped me enjoy life a little more. I wasn't going to the shore or doing anything like this before we met. Since I really like your company, I want more of it, so..."

Osamu stopped. "Let's go out then."

Rousoku shouted out in surprise and covered her mouth. Her face was flushed and her eyes widened. "You can't say something so bold so casually!"

"Of course I can! I like your company, and you like mine. So, let's go out."

Rousoku laughed, pointing a finger at Osamu. "You know, a girl would appreciate a more romantic way of asking!"

"Ah, sorry. I'm not good with romance. I suppose there is something we can do though."

Osamu took Rousoku by the hand and ran into the water with her. They went far enough so that they were both hip-deep in the swaying, ocean waves. Rousoku's exhilarated laughs reverberated in the salt-scented air. She couldn't believe Osamu could be so spontaneous and wild. Before she knew it, Osamu held her by her hips, and she was lost in his amber eyes and confident gaze.

"Rousoku. Will you go out with me?"

Rousoku tucked in her lips and nodded. "Yes, I'd love to..."

"On the count of three, we'll dip underwater, and we'll have our first kiss. When we come back up, we'll officially be a couple."

"I'm ready."

The both of them counted together. "One...two...three..."

The two dipped underwater together, beginning their relationship with a kiss beneath the waves. The cries of seagulls, the distant sound of blaring car horns and humming engines, it all faded away as the two fell into their deep blue sanctuary, a world away from the world itself.

(And that was how the end began...)

The night came and went, as did the early morning. It was noon now. Everyone except for Cyanide had gotten a good rest after the long night. After trying multiple tests on Rousoku, Cyanide was stumped. He tried every exorcism coin he could, but it was all to no avail. Rousoku stood in the sunbeam in the library, wearing a crown of sunflowers around her head and holding a paper charm in her hands as Cyanide failed test after test.

"Nothing?" Rousoku asked.

"Nope, this didn't work either." Cyanide sighed.

"I don't understand...could it be a medical issue after all?" Osamu asked.

"No, I think you're right on the money that this is a supernatural event." Shinju interjected. "However, it appears that it isn't some sort of apparition or curse affecting Rousoku's memory."

Cyanide put out his cigarette as Shinju's theory caught his attention. "Oh, now you're onto something. Mind explaining a bit further?"

"I could, but I believe it would actually be more effective to retrace Rousoku's steps." Shinju said. "Rousoku, you said that the last thing you remember was laying in bed at home before suddenly waking up and being in Kyoto right?"

Rousoku nodded. "T-that's right..."

Shinju crossed her arms and stepped into the sunlight with Rousoku. Her bright orange hair seemed to glow like balefire in the sunlight. "What about before that?"

"Before?" Rousoku repeated.

"Yes, do you remember anything about your life before the last time you were in Kyushu? Anything at all?"

"Well, yeah. I remember where I lived, I remember Osamu, where I worked, what I often ate, what I liked to wear..."

"Good. Now then, do you remember whether you actually liked your life or not?"

"Did I like my life? I remember liking it when Osamu came along. I don't think I enjoyed it as much before we met."

"Then we can also assume that you didn't like it very much after Osamu left, right?" Taeko questioned further.

Rousoku quickly turned her nervous gaze over to Osamu, and then shied away again. "I don't remember the details, but I remember it being really lonely when he left. We didn't have a good break up..."

"I see, so your relationship had problems."

Cyanide smiled. "Osamu, call Izanami. Tell her to come here, quickly."

"How come?" Osamu asked.

"Just do it, kid." Cyanide ordered.

Osamu did as he was told, texting Izanami and giving her directions. "All right, I just messaged her. She's pregnant though, so she can't teleport here. It might have adverse effects on the baby."

"Ah, really? Well, that's fine. That gives us an hour." Cyanide said.

"Now that Shinju has mentioned it, I think I might know what's wrong with you, Rousoku." Taeko said. "However, I don't want to scare you, so we'll wait until Izanami gets here so we can confirm it for ourselves."

"Really? O-okay then! Thank you, everyone!" Rousoku sang as she bowed in gratitude.

Cyanide grabbed another cigarette and flicked on his lighter. "Oi, Shinju, mind giving me your phone?"

"What do you want with a girl's phone?" Shinju growled, crossing her arms. "I delete all the naughty photos and videos after I send them to Osamu, so you won't find any of those."

"Why do you have to tell him that?!" Osamu recoiled.

Shinju sighed. "Fine, take it."

Shinju tossed Cyanide the phone, and he walked off to do a bit of research.

"When you guys said Izanami...did you mean the Shinto deity Izanami?" Rousoku asked.

"Yeah." Shinju said. "Osamu is married to her. She’s Tsukiakari’s grandmother. I think she can help us with this."

"I see, you're married to her too..." Rousoku gasped, realizing that's the second goddess Osamu married. "You really have changed, Osamu."

(I got the feeling...that statement was being used in a way that wasn't positive.)

About an hour later, Cyanide stepped outside and walked Izanami into the bookstore. Cyanide was surprisingly considerate, opening the door for Izanami and helping her walk to the main library where everyone else was. He had put away his cigarettes and made sure to air out his blazer and dust off the cigarette ash on his collar and sleeves.

"Osamu! Lucrezia! Shinju too!" Izanami sang.

"Hey there, love!" Osamu chimed.

"Good to see you, Izanami." Shinju said. "Cyanide, did you help Izanami walk here? You even put out your cigarette."

"Of course, of course. She is pregnant after all. It's just the right thing to do."

"My my, how chivalrous of you." Shinju tittered.

"So, what do you guys need? Who's this?" Izanami asked.

"Oh! I came over to your house and met everyone, but you were upstairs, so we never got to meet. I'm Rousoku Himawari. Are you Izanami? The goddess?"

"Sure am!” Izanami sang.

“Wow!” Rousoku gasped. The stories all say you're a foul woman with a ghastly appearance, but you're actually super cute and beautiful!”

"Oh gosh, thank you! It really helps to hear that when you're with child!"

Cyanide looked towards Taeko, and Taeko nodded at him.

"Izanami, I need to borrow your scythe for just a moment." Taeko said.

"My scythe? How come?"

"Hey, what do you guys need the scythe for?" Osamu barked.

"This will help us determine the root of Rousoku's problem. I've already found out what's wrong with Rousoku. I just need to see it for myself. It will only take a moment. It won't hurt her." Taeko explained.

"Hey, wait...what's going on?" Rousoku asked, shivering in fear. "Why can't you just tell me?"

"All right, I trust you." Izanami said. "Rousoku, these people would never hurt an innocent soul. You can trust them. "

"Wait a minute!" Osamu urged.

Izanami summoned her scythe, and Taeko swiftly snatched it from her hand. In one, fluid movement, Taeko slashed the scythe across Rousoku's stomach, knocking her down on the floor as screams of panic filled the bookstore. Cyanide remained calm as everyone else recoiled in shock, unsure as to why Taeko would suddenly disembowel Rousoku.

Osamu ran in to help Rousoku as she fell on all fours, her tears staining the dirtied carpet. Osamu was just about ready to attack Taeko and question her as to why she would do such a thing. Why on earth would she suddenly hurt Rousoku like that?

But in that moment, Osamu noticed something terribly strange. A slash from Izanami's scythe should've opened up Rousoku's belly, but there wasn't a single drop of blood to be found. Her bomber jacket wasn't even slashed open, even though the blade had clearly gone through her abdomen.

"What is going on?! Wasn't I slashed?!" Rousoku asked, realizing she wasn't hurt.

"There's no wound..." Osamu murmured.

"No way…" Shinju gasped.

Cyanide whipped out the Shinju's phone, tossing it to Taeko. She real aloud from a news article written six years ago, originally printed in Saga prefecture on the island of Kyushu.

"Thankfully, we live in the information age. Even locally printed newspapers can still be found online if it's posted anywhere." Taeko said. On Friday, July 7th, authorities were called to the Miyazaki Leisure Apartment Complex after one resident complained of a blackish-red liquid running through his ceiling and onto his floor. Several other residents complained of a terrible odor coming from a neighboring apartment.

“The landlord, assisted by the police, barged into Room 202, where they discovered the body of a young woman, identified as Rousoku Himawari. According to authorities, Rousoku had been dead for almost three weeks before anyone found her. The police were unable to find any connections to family or friends, which may explain why she was not found earlier. The apartment and other apartments affected by her severe state of decomposition had been evacuated for clean up crews. Coroners have ruled the death of the young girl a suicide. Rousoku Himawari was only nineteen years old."

The revelation shocked everyone to their core. Rousoku folded over on the ground, weeping in a fetal position as the horrid memory of her death came back to her. Osamu's heart nearly stopped after listening to Taeko. He couldn't believe a word he just heard. How could he? Rousoku, a girl who was reported as dead, was standing right in front of him.

"I knew it..." Shinju said.

"What...hey, come on! That's ridiculous! Rousoku is right here! She isn't dead!" Osamu said.

"You're half wrong, kid." Cyanide interrupted. "Indeed, that person right there is Rousoku, but Rousoku died six years ago. Lucrezia slashed her right through the stomach with Izanami's scythe, and yet, nothing happened. Do you know why? It's because her scythe can only take life from the living. It cannot kill those who are already dead. That's why there's no gash."

"But then, Izanami would've recognized Rousoku, right?! Wouldn't she be able to recognize the people she takes souls from?!" Osamu questioned.

"No, in this case, she'd be unable to recognize her, because what we're seeing right now is Rousoku's soul." Taeko said. "She never passed from the earth. Essentially, she's like a ghost now. More accurately, she's looks and interacts with this world like an ordinary human, but she doesn't actually belong here. Her soul failed to pass from the earth because of her suicide and the lingering regrets she must have had at the time.

“Earlier, Shinju asked her if she could remember if she liked her life. She said she didn't like it before she met you, or after you left. That's how I was able to figure out she must have killed herself if she can actually remember what she thought of her life before she died. People who die suddenly don't have those memories, and so most of them can move on."

"So, there you have it. Rousoku, you're dead. The memory loss you experienced is the time between the moment you died, and the moment you woke up in Kyoto." Cyanide said.

Rousoku broke down and sobbed, hiding her face from everyone. Osamu fell down on his bottom, still shocked to learn the awful truth.

"You died? You took your own life? Why? How could you do such an awful thing?" Osamu asked.

Shinuju closed her eyes to keep them from tearing up. She genuinely felt sorry for the girl. Rousoku didn't even know she was dead the whole time. Shinju could only imagine how shocking it was for her to remember it and experience her death a second time. She could only imagine the regret and shame of it all. Rousoku committed suicide, a fate that Osamu fled Kyoto to avoid. There was no coming back from that.

(Rousoku...when we were walking to the bookstore yesterday...I wanted to tell you...I was happy you were still alive, that you kept living. I was so happy. But now...I don't know what to do.)