[Phantom Pain of Rousoku Himawari] Two Weeks to Absolve Seven Years

Orange shafts of fading sunlight pierced through the dilapidated ceiling of the abandoned book store. Completely blindsided by the truth about Rousoku, Osamu sat on the floor, his back against one of the bookshelves. Rousoku stood before Cyanide, Lucrezia, and Shinju with a face full of tears. No one wanted to be in that room, drowning in that miserable atmosphere.

"I had no idea...How didn't I notice?" Osamu asked.

"Sekien Toriyama also wrote about her kind. They're officially called Shiryo, the souls of the dead. Sometimes they're so convincing that they don't even know they're ghosts." Cyanide explained.

"What's going to happen to her? Will she stay like this forever?" Osamu asked.

"Well...she'll always be dead, that's for certain." Cyanide answered. "When it comes to wandering spirits, it's our duty to send them into the afterlife. However, in order for her to pass, you two need to talk about whatever it was that made her take her own life. Whatever that thing is, it's the reason why she didn't move on in the first place."

Osamu pressed his palm against his forehead. "And then...once we do that...we send her back?"

"It would be a ritual similar to what you did with Kagutsuchi a while ago." Cyanide explained. "Wandering spirits absolutely need to be sent back as soon as possible. If they linger around too long after realizing what happened to them, a multitude of problems can occur. They can turn into all sorts of other monsters if we leave them be. If that happens, we'd have to put her down. So, go and talk to her. I'll give you two weeks to get everything together. Then, we'll try sending her off."

"Two weeks? That's all we can give him?" Shinju questioned.

"Cyanide's right." Taeko said. "Any longer than that, and we risk Rousoku turning into something far worse than a wandering ghost. Osamu, Rousoku, listen to me. You two need to have an honest conversation about whatever happened between you. Whatever anger you might share, whatever resentment or jealousy, you must air it all out. Otherwise, Rousoku will never find peace."

(You say that like it's so easy...)

Rousoku suddenly rushed towards the door, weeping as she went outside. Taeko almost chased after her, but stopped when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

"Rousoku!" Izanami cried, her heart bleeding for the girl.

Cyanide knelt down in front of Osamu and gently laid his hand on his shoulder. "You should go talk to her, kid."

Osamu nodded. "Okay. Okay."

Osamu dried his tears and followed Rousoku outside, finding her crying atop the steps leading up to the book store. She watched as the skyscrapers downtown were silhouetted by the setting sun behind them, the sky torn by the fading, orange light of dusk and the purple preamble of the night.

He sat with her, and for several minutes, neither of them said a word. It was complete radio silence. Osamu thought of all the things he wanted to say, mostly words of self-pity and blame. But he worried if such pathetic words would only insult Rousoku.

"Why did you do it?" Osamu asked.

"You were the only good thing in my life. I remember that now. You saved me from a life I hated." Rousoku said.

"It couldn't have possibly been worth taking your life over..."

"You have no idea what I went through. Before we met, and even after you left, the only thing I knew how to feel was pain. Being with you was my only rest from that, but then you...you came back here, to Kyoto. You left me behind..."

"I never meant to hurt anybody! If I could've saved you, I would have done it in a heartbeat!"

"No you wouldn't."

"What do you mean? Of course I would!"

"You love those other girls now. They have your heart. You would save them first in the heartbeat it would take to save me."

Osamu felt those words wrap around his throat like a hand choking the life out of him. She was right, and he knew it. "Why do you have to say that as if it's a fault?"

Rousoku shot up, stomping her foot and yelling at Osamu. "Because I never got to move on! I didn't get a goodbye, or closure! I never got to see you again! That's why it's so unfair! Osamu, did you love me?! Did you value you me at all?! Didn't I mean anything to you?! How you could leave me alone like that?!"

"I told you what I wanted to do! Why couldn't you just be happy for me?! It took a lot of courage to come back here after everything I lost!"

"I was happy for you! But I wanted us to be happy together! That's what people who love each other do!"

Osamu stood silent. It was that silence that made Rousoku cry. It was a deep quietude that confirmed in her mind that Osamu didn't love her nearly as much as he thought he did. That silence confirmed everything Rousoku was saying.

Osamu's heart drew him back to Kyoto. He originally came back to mourn the loss of Aika's mother, and in the process, he regained the love and friendship of his ex-girlfriends. He knew he was leaving Rousoku behind, but when he weighed her sorrow against Aika's loss, he chose Aika.

He had fled from Kyoto to get away from the mess that was his life, but ironically, he created another mess when he left Rousoku to return home.

(Who's to blame? Me? Her? Both of us? Life? Death? Is blame even appropriate? I don't know. I really, really don't know. I really did used to love her, and I'm thankful to her for getting me back on my feet, but...)

"I thought I had finally found real love." Rousoku said. "After all the pain I suffered, I was waiting for someone like you to come into my life. I prayed for it everyday. God finally gave you to me, but you just..."

"I couldn't stay there, Rousoku. I had to go home. I had to come back and make things right. I left Kyoto in the first place to learn how to do that. I had something I needed to do."

(Something's not right. It can't have been the breakup alone that made her commit suicide. Anyone would've been heartbroken, sure, but suicide? Now that I think about it, Rousoku never went too deep into what her life was like before we met. She always listened to what I had to say, but she shared very little in comparison. Plus, there was something Taeko said that stood out to me when she was reading the article about Rousoku. Weeks went by before anyone found her body, but she died at her apartment. Didn't she have friends? Family? They didn't hear from her for weeks but no one checked in on her?)

"Osamu. I want to be alone right now. Please." Rousoku said.

"Rousoku..."

"I just need some time to think about all of this."

"...Okay. I understand. We'll talk later."

Still inside, Taeko checked the message on her phone, seeing a text from Yoko. Cyanide noticed how Taeko stiffened up as she read the message. He walked over to her and waved his hand in front of her eyes.

"Yo, you awake, Boss?" Cyanide asked. "Shinju and Izanami are in the office trying to find out how to perform the ritual we'll need. We should go help them."

"I'm sorry." Taeko said, the light returning to her eyes.

"This Rousoku business has you spooked?"

"No, it's not that. Yoko just sent me Manami's code phrase."

Cyanide's eyes widened in shock. He stood beside Taeko so he could read the message for himself. "You sent her off on some mission, didn't you? What's this phrase mean?"

Taeko locked her phone, sliding it back into her pocket. She took deep breath in through her nose and out through her slightly parted lips. Her palms tingled and stung while her blood ran cold in her veins. "It means she made contact with Inari, here in Kyoto."

"She spoke to Inari?" Cyanide recoiled. "Why on earth would she be here in Kyoto?"

"I can only surmise that Inari is out of places to run. If she's somewhere here in Kyoto as we speak, then the next sighting will be our chance to grab her."

"Holy shit." Cyanide said, suddenly out of breath. "I didn't think it would happen so soon."

"It's been a long time coming. Inari's the last piece of the puzzle. We have to get to her before anyone else does."

"But if Manami made contact with Inari, then it won't be long before the rest of the exorcists know, right? Once that happens, this city is going to be on high fucking alert."

Taeko crossed her arms, closing her eyes as she took time to think. "Something's not right. Manami should've contacted me sooner if she saw Inari. What's weirder is that she had Yoko text me on my cellphone rather than texting me herself on our burner phones. Had she used the burner, there would've been no need for the code phrase. She's being cautious and it's worrying me."

"What should we do?"

"For now, we should focus on handling Rousoku, but keep your eyes and ears open. As soon as we hear about Inari, we'll need to move in as fast as we can."

"Understood. One step at a time, I suppose."

Hours passed by. With his heart and mind torn into pieces, Osamu laid on the floor of the library, staring up at the stars in the night sky. Izanami crept out of the office, leaving Shinju and the others to draw up plans for the ritual while she went to check on Osamu. Seeing him lying there in utter agony was the most heartbreaking sight of her life. Izanami, being the loving soul she was, wouldn't take her eyes off of Osamu for a second.

"Osamu...are you okay?" Izanami asked.

"Not really." Osamu responded.

Osamu picked up random books scattered across the cold, filthy floor, flipping through the pages and then putting them down again. When his hands were finally free, Izanami took hold of one and held it tightly. The two lovers then turned their eyes back up to the hole in the roof, their window to the sky.

"What do I do? She's dead and trapped here because of me..." Osamu lamented.

"Don't blame yourself, Osamu. I think the most important thing for you both right now is to sort out your own feelings first. Once you do that, maybe you'll be able to talk about what happened between you two."

Osamu wiped tears of frustration from his eyes. "I guess you're right."

"Do you still love her?"

"...No...I can't say that I do. I'll always appreciate her, but...that was long ago. Rousoku loves the me that I am now, but the only reason I am the way I am now is because I loved you, Yoko, Izzy, and Tsukiakari."

"I see. You'll have to find a way to tell her that."

"Izanami...when was the last time we watched the stars like this?"

"Hmm? Oh wow, not since around the time we met, when you'd always come by my shrine at night! We'd eat, talk, and watch the stars just like this."

"Yeah, I remember those days. It really has been a long time since then."

Izanami smiled. "Sure has. Look at us now. You're going to be a father, and I'm going to be a mother again. It's like a dream come true for me. We've been through so much, and now we're really together forever. Every single day we spend together has been like falling in love with you all over again, Osamu."

Izanami kissed Osamu's hand and guided it to her baby bump over her clothes. "This too shall pass. I know it will. And then, when it does, we'll really be a family, with children!"

(I don't feel shame. When I'm around Rousoku, it's nice, but...I don't get this feeling like I do when I'm with Izanami, Yoko, or Tsukiakari. This feeling...this soul-deep love...)

"Have I ever told you I loved you, Izanami?"

"A thousand times. I love you, Osa."

"I love you too, Izanami."

(This too shall pass. Izanami...I hope you're right. I hope it'll really be that easy…)