R̶e̶a̶d̶ Write and Rest

When I was young, I was told that helping people is a noble goal. I believed what my father had said. I grew up with his words. Because why not? The skills and wisdom that I have were imparted from him. How could I not be grateful to him? And I happily repay him for everything he has done. So, I trained further. Away from my family, joining a madrasah for an infamous organization that has existed eons before I was born. It was such a perfect flow of events. What comes next in my mind after that is I will be able to realize the values I have learned. Using it for the greater good…

Perhaps I was too naive.

As my life turned 73rd, still young by any means, I started to question why I believe what my father has said.

'Always move forward, and look past the horizon'

It’s been a week since I started here, and the commissions I can take are not that exciting. Most of it is just menial and…this might be quite a shock to myself, yawning is better than this.

Is my resolve weak or I didn’t have any in the first place? I feel… dull. Things are not what I expected. My childish assumption that becoming a Lancer will give me an adventure that I was told. The way my father narrated it and how my mother recounts her experience walking alongside them. Perhaps my mistake was never asking my oldest sister who is also like me. She’s away for most of my adolescent years and I never consulted her about my decision.

Because of it, I started to wonder if this is what I wanted. If my heart is not always on-board with it then what do I want? I wish I could leave this job. But I was too far gone. And in the middle of another potential civil war in this caliphate, the guild is my best bet in ensuring people's safety headfirst. Even though I am not allowed to take jobs involving rebellion suppression, at least when the time comes, a low rank Lancer like me will be called. When it comes to that, I could truly help people. For now, I have to contend with smaller jobs.

I glanced at the clock, dawn had come. So too the new day. Like many dutiful morsyan, I began my activity today with morning prayers. Just as I was taught. After finishing, I geared myself up. Dressing myself in my white shirt, and brown vest combo, I put on my white Lancer coat on top of it. Another mark of my low rank status. I equip a bracer on my left that is attached with a tool, a piece of technology given to me when I started my work as a Lancer Agha (officer). It is called the armhub. There is an official name for it, but for the sake of simplicity it is simply referred to as such.

I checked my lodge again. Making sure that I didn't miss anything. After that, I leave for the Lancer's Bureau. The building itself can be seen from afar. Thanks to the tower that hovers the hovels around it. It is also a way for us, lancers to immediately know where to go. Civilians also can utilize that too. Giving ease of access is one of the top priorities in this guild. Even though the same cannot be said on the system inside.

Casting away my musings for a moment, I warmed myself, stretching my limbs before I headed out. I left my room and headed towards my destination. On my way, I saw one of my seniors walking from afar. One of them wore a blue coat and brown head cloth and another rugged looking one wore a yellow coat and red headscarf. I have seen both of them multiple times, but the only interaction with them is just greetings. Besides, they are rarely here in the city since they also have to take care of suppression jobs. Must have been nice to do more than just a simple fetch quest.

I should have not thought about them further. I cleared my head a bit and began to jog. For today, I thought about free-running my way to the bureau. It has been a long time since I made use of my climbing skills. Better not get them rusty lest it may be needed. Just like how breathing is natural to mortals, my legs naturally glued and found their way to one of the free-run starters prepared to reach rooftops. In a swift motion, I began to rapidly scale my way to the top.

As I reached the top level, guards posted there gave me a warm greeting. Bless these people, they always make sure the rooftops are safe. I then proceed, jumping from one building to another, making all sorts of moves to make my run feel satisfying. My mind pushes aside anything related to my work. All on my mind now is to make this trip eventful. Each step I take clears my mind bit by bit after my moody musing earlier. It feels refreshing and liberating to just feel the wind blowing in the morning. My blonde hair was ruffled gently. Likewise the comfortable air of dawn that graces the streets soothes my heart.

From atop, I can see residents starting their activities. Congregants walked across from the place of worship, and the street lights were dimmed. With that, the sun's rays shone its light on the ground, and the pillar tree of Firutina city. The big and majestic tree is now clearly visible in its full glory. Indicating the morning and the sun has welcomed a new day. And from afar, the bureau tower lights an orange signal. The active hours have begun.

Giving myself a little pat and a break for my legs. I then descend and continue to reach the bureau on foot. The exhilarating feeling subsides as each step I took to the bureau. And just as I felt lightened and relaxed, my eyes twitched a bit. Two of my seniors I saw were already at the front door. Did they just beat me without even running? I reserve my contempt. No use in getting mad over such trivial things, but it really hurts my pride a little.

My seniors entered first and I followed after.

The warm atmosphere welcomed me. A homely feeling that permeates this place all the time, especially in the morning, when the bureau is quiet. Only the receptionist was present. Standing behind the desks, organizing documents and people's requests. My seniors chatted with the receptionist, a beautiful woman who also helped me settle in this city. Itayel Bilmek is her name. I was forever grateful for her assistance ever since I arrived here. She has been listening to my ramblings from time to time. It makes my worry drown a little as I work.

She always knows how to comfort people and is very friendly to the point that no lancers or citizens I have ever met have anything against her. Fitting for her role in the guild, the receptionist. Her job is to deal with almost every aspect in the guild. She and her fellow receptionist are the ones who wrote the requests and the details in it. Their notes are so reliable you can't work on a job without consulting with them first.

Not wasting any time, I make my way to the commission board. This is where jobs that were requested posted. This long digitized screen is a cutting edge technology in line with the tool on my left wrist. Supposedly this has been here long before the war and merging of realms. Quite a fascinating tool I admit. While I was minding myself with the commission board, I could hear my seniors chatting with Itayel Hanim (miss) despite their hushed tone. Something about a lady and reading.

I glanced at them a bit and saw three of them glance back. It's as if they want me to come over. The one in the blue coat heeded me. I looked around to make sure I am the one they refer to. Of course, they meant me, I am the only one besides them. So with a little caution, I approach them. The Blue Coat one seems pleased while the one in yellow looks indifferent. Of course, Itayel Hanim's smile is radiant as always despite being surrounded by the other two.

The Blue Coat shakes my hand out of the blue and introduces himself, "Peace be upon you, Name's Abel Dalga. I haven't been around these parts lately so I don't gotten to know new aghas (officers),"

Of course, you are. You are often not in this city. I return the courtesy, "Peace be you too, I am Noah Sadik,"

Abel bey's (sir) brows furrowed. "Sadik, you say…"

Did he perhaps know my sister? He didn't elaborate further, instead introducing his partner.

"This mean looking one is Akum Acemasez. Don't worry, he is very nice to everyone so don't get too tense around him."

The Yellow Coat–Sir Acemasez snorted.

"See? He is kind," Abel bey said, but I don't think the other fellow shares the same sentiment.

Itayel Hanim coughed, Abel Bey realizing this, then cut the pretenses and went straight to the point.

"Ah, right, since you are new here, and I heard quite a story from our dear receptionist here, I want to offer you this one commission,"

I feel my face becoming white. Did Itayel Hanim spill the beans?

"But, if you fail this, you have to resign."

Oh no, why is this happening? Did I rile him because of the complaints I have told to Itayel Hanim?

“Are you… serious?” I hesitantly asked.

The man chuckled a bit. I am thinking this is a joke, but he is a blue coat. The highest ranked of officers. There's something different when that sentence is uttered by a higher ranked agha like him. It felt like he knows very well I am not cut out for this. Even though I think this is a convenient escape for me without resorting to speaking with my superiors at the capital to the deed, I can't help but feel insulted.

I feel worthless now if I have to quit and not even show what I can do. I won’t let a decade of training go to waste! Whatever the job he is about to offer, I won't back down. I won't stand being looked down on. And so I remained silent, letting him speak further. He took notice of this.

"Hm, I take that silence as a yes," he strokes his chin, carefully analyzing me. "And this commission will better suit you for a...reconsideration."

Itayel Hanim then gestured for me to extend my left arm, where my armhub equipped. I put my arm in front of her, then, with her own armhub, she transferred data to mine.

"Great! Let me know when you finish it," Abel bey said, and he and Akum bey then exited the bureau.

"I expect good results, newbie." says the yellow coat.

I assume they are done with me for today and went on to the job they had. Heh, having fun with themselves.

"Don't feel too pressured, agha," Itayel Hanim reassured me. "They mean well and this commission is not difficult by any measure."

"Efendim? (excuse me?)"

"Supposedly, you have a tool that can give you more details about that,'' Ah, the armhub. I should check the commission I was given. "If you have questions, feel free to ask, I won't go anywhere, but do read it first, okay?"

And so I did, I scrolled through my armhub and found the commission she had sent me.

[Read and Rest]

(Hm, quite a peculiar name. Well, this Itayel Hanim, alright. Always with intriguing titles.)

From: Haykalak Nursing Home

Subject: Lael Souleskan

Issue date: 2 Alendea 123 4C

[Old Lady Souleskan is a senior who has lived for five centuries. She has seen so many and survived it all, but deep within, she is a lonely fellow. She wishes for someone to relieve her memories together. By reading letters from her husband. The folks at the nursing home request one of ours to do that.

Whoever took this commission, make sure to not break her heart or hurt. Or else I smite you.

Bilmek, I.]

Wait, are you saying that–

"My job is to read letters?!"

My name is Noah Sadik. For as long as I can tell in my tenure as a Lancer agha, I assist citizens in physical work and most of it involves activities requiring my skills to climb and to navigate the roof and branches for the most effective route possible. Most of the commission that requires me to do it is basic and too unfulfilling. It's so simple that I think yawning is a better option

Now, are you telling me my job is on the line because of reading letters?

I hid my disappointment after my sudden outburst. I sat on a rug to think of how to approach this commission. On the other hand, I feel like aborting this is a better option. I get that leaving easier commissions is what logically my seniors will do, but to say that I have to resign because of this...no matter. I started to think they were playing with me. I couldn't tell if they were joking or not.

I huffed, no need to stress myself more. Better getting this over with.

"Itayel Hanim," I addressed the receptionist. She glanced a little before focusing back on the papers she reviewed. That means I have her attention even in the midst of work.

"Speak." is all she said.

"Any additional information about Bayan (miss) Souleska?" If I am going to please the client, better get to know her first especially since this is an old lady.

"Besides she is old and lonely, she has a penchant for dramatics," Itayel Hanim revealed. "and, I heard that she is quite a handful to deal with."

I wrote what she said and continued to do so as she unfurl more information. "Also, she has a bizarre sleep schedule,"

"Bizzare?" like, not sleeping at night?

Itayel Hanim sheepishly scratched her nose. "Ehehe, the nursing home's staff didn't disclose further I am afraid. I suggest you go there to gain further clarity."

"Evet (okay), Haykalak Nursing Home...um, where is it?" I have only been here for a week, and I am afraid I am not familiar with this city's landmarks. A fault solely lies on me.

"North of the bureau, on the highest branch district of the city's tree. Just take a direct route to the tree hub if you are unsure, you will find it, I promise."

I nodded absentmindedly.

Honestly, I have a hard time following detailed instructions. Not to say that I prefer to do things on my own, but the field experience is a better instructor. Thankfully though, Itayel Hanim has given enough clues to figure things on my own. It's about time I get back into that zone again. For a Lancer figures an issue and bypasses it. I excused myself to Itayel Hanim and headed out.

Now, the sunshine welcomes me again. I then followed Itayel Hanim's clues. Turning right after I exited the bureau, I came into an open street leading directly to the city's tree. This city, Firutina, was designed to be like this with four main streets formed to resemble compass points. This is for easier access to the center and the four districts shaping the city. I mostly explore the residential district since that’s where most of my commissions are and where I am staying.

I blame my past commissions that haven't brought me to the upper parts of the city. Even then that would be petty of me to blame helping others is a hindrance. Seriously, though, I should have explored this city in my free time.

By the time I set out to my destination, sizable crowds had formed on the streets. Thankfully, rooftops can mitigate this. I scaled up and saw...enough crowds using this route too. I greeted the guards and they replied back. Rooftop guards are on standby, weapons ready at hand. But, this is just a daily sight, everyone knows they won't lift a finger even if you do some free-run tricks. They are probably, and silently clapped their hands.

And so, I began to jog. Just a little stride to keep my feet warm. When I found my pace, I sprinted. The momentum piled up and I jumped from one building to another. The smooth flow is uninterrupted as it is enhanced by fellow free-runners who did the same. Even if we are not in line, our rhythm matches. I began to feel cheeky as someone started doing tricks. An unspoken rule of free-running here that means 'when one does it, follow it'. Soon, the rest follow the suit, including myself.

I began by wall-running from a slightly taller building on my side and used that gained momentum to launch myself with a side eject. It propels me farther allowing me to land on the roof instead of hanging on a ledge. Others who trailed behind me did the same with varying moves done in mid air just for the style, show-off. I hid my snicker and continued my run. Many vaulting objects appeared, giving me enough reason to style.

From a simple vault to rollflip to spins, heck, I even began to dive to a shorter building. All of us on the rooftops express ourselves to varying degrees. And just like many fun things we had in the world, it has to stop. The city's tree is in full view. Other runners didn't speak nor greet each other. We already have. I descended from the upper level and landed on a plaza circling the tree. From here, just as Itayel Hanim instructed, it's a straight path.

The city tree, just like the other ones on major cities here in the caliphate, is huge. Its branches loom over the ground level, but not enough to cover the whole city. The tree itself hosts buildings that are advanced in its services. Builds such as education centers, advanced facilities, and the city's core government infrastructure. My destination is in the advanced facilities. Why else is it located on the tree? This nursing home must have provided quality services.

Which means the Old Lady Souleska is not just a simple patient. She must have been high on status for her to receive a spot. I could guess she is obnoxious to a fault. Probably the reason why the staff there handed this commission to The Guild. Itayel Hanim said that the old lady is a handful. Thinking about it makes my head a little hurt. Old women are not my specialty.

If you fail this, you have to resign

I am not going to fail now. I will prove to him I can complete this. I'll show that years of learning inside the academy are not wasted. With my resolve strengthened, I walked towards the tree. Eager to tackle what awaits me…

And it took me three hours of climbing the steps and aimlessly wandering in search of the nursing home. I admit, this is another low blow that has been dealt to me. This is not efficient at all. I caught many people staring pitifully at my cluelessness. This is so embarrassing. It took an old man to point me towards the right direction. And I have passed the building multiple times! Maybe, Abel Bey was right to put me under this commission. I haven't struggled so much in such a mundane effort. My previous work mostly has the location listed by the receptionist in detail. Plus, residential districts are easy to navigate, but this tree…

If only I had the humility to ask for direction earlier…

I shook my head. I don't need another self-deprecation now. I could do it later after I finished this job today. The sun is high now, I should probably do my prayers here in the nursing home. After that, I could deal with the job. Yeah, that's a sound plan I said to myself. At least things will go my way this time. I entered the building, showing my armhub to the staff there. They immediately know why I am here. Smooth sailing so far, I said, but when I asked them about the old lady, two of the nurses shared glances.

"We apologize for the inconvenience, but I am afraid Souleska Hanim is unavailable now," the nurse explained.

Ah, old people do have some special treatment. I see...then I ask the staff for her active hours.

"Um, we apologize again because she has no fixed active hours!"

That's impossible, right? Another nurse then elaborated further.

"Souleska Hanim is a special case. When she does get treated, it depends on the time she wakes up,"

I inquired about the issue, "The waking hours are approximately around…?"

"That...is unpredictable. She is that handful regarding her treatment."

I closed my eyes for a moment. Trying to contain my annoyance displaying itself to the nurse in front of me. To say that I am disappointed is understatement. I have spent most of my morning to noon getting here only to be denied of doing my job. Well, not yet at least, but I can tell this is not going to be sailing smoothly as I hope. In place of my annoyance, a smile formed on my lips. I should keep my courtesy. The commission aside, I asked them where the communal room is.

Praying is better than doing nothing I guess. Plus, I hope this can ease my mind a bit. The nurses lead me to the room. It was an ornate room, completely in line with how fancy the nursing home's aesthetic. I am not well-versed on the subject, but I can tell it is handled with care. No time for admiring the scenery, I said to myself. I began to wash myself to clean my face, arms, and legs then head straight to do my prayers.

“I pray that this commission will be fulfilled by me. I don't want to lose. I want to prove my worth”

After finishing, I stood up and headed back to the nurses I chatted with earlier. They were still there, but I can see they were preparing to pray too. I will have to make this quick.

"Excuse me, sisters, may I know when Bayan Souleska awakens?"

Both nurses shared glances. One of them then answered, "While I do mention she is…unpredictable, she is usually active at night."

"Is it more frequent than other times?"

The other nurse then nods. That's all I need to confirm.

"Thank you," I expressed. "Can I ask you a favor to send my regards to Bayan Souleska should she awake?"

"What do we say to her?"

"Tell her, someone is going to read her letters."

I excuse myself to leave the premises. I have to rethink my strategy. Let's see what Itayel Hanim can say about this situation. I am outside of the nursing home now, the sun is still up, and the scorching heat stings my exposed skin. O God, I hope next month the summer will end. Thankfully though, the city's tree got enough cover to shield from the head. Army of leaves resting above me is proof.

So, I descend from the top. It took me an hour this time to reach the earth. I think I got the route memorized, but I should still look around for an efficient path. From here, it's straight to the bureau. I opted to walk instead of free-running. I had enough exercise and the sun's heat won't do me any favors. I put on my mother's handmade cloak and walked to my destination.

It is less crowded than before so my journey went smoothly. I reached the bureau, orange flares still ignited on the tower. I entered the building and saw Abel Bey's companion, the yellow coat, Akum Bey discussing something with Itayel Hanim. She looks concerned. Did Akum Bey's commission go south?

And where is Abel Bey? Before I could hear what they discussed, both of them turned towards me.

"Peace be upon you, How's the commission agha (officer)?" Itayel Hanim is the first to speak.

"Peace be upon you too, still pending."

I could hear it, Akum Bey mumbled, "figured." under his breath. Whether he expects the worst or something else is left to the air. Now, it is my turn to ask.

"Itayel Hanim, can I have a moment?"

Sensing that he should not be here or something else, Akum Bey leaves us alone and rests on the nearby rug. Itayel Hanim then puts her attention to me. I hope what I asked of her is not demanding.

"Can I have a background check on Bayan Lael Souleska?"

Her eyes widened for a split second before returning to her serene gaze. "I am afraid your request cannot be accomplished by me,"

Hm, figured as much, she is receptionist after all–

"But, you can accomplish that." she blurted out, surprising me a little.

Wait, how can I do that? I can't just waltz into the city hall and then–

"By going to the city hall and collecting her papers," she debunked my thoughts. "Of course, you need this."

She handed me a paper. It has the Guild's sigil and the permission written there was an access to city's records.

"Happy reading, agha!" she beamed. My heart…kuh…I am going to work hard!

With that, I turned in for the day. Preparing my schedule for tomorrow. I am going to read a lot.

I am awake at the usual time except I won't go straight to the bureau after I finish my morning rituals. I checked what I will need: morning prayers? check. white lancer coat? check. Dagger? check. Emergency supplies? check. And the permission papers…check. I have it all in here. Now, I will have to wait until the sun starts to shine a little bit after sunrise. That's the time when the city hall opened.

And that means another trip to the city's tree.

I took my sweet time at the lodging. It's been a while since I had a proper breakfast besides bread and milk. It makes me dread that this might be the only leisure I have for today before I will lose myself reading another person's personal info. I might be crossing the line here, but for the sake of myself and this old lady, I will have to do more than a simple conversation. Back in the madrasah, I was taught that one of the keys in handling a troublesome client is to understand them.

I can't properly use this method because most of the commission I took before this was a menial task or at best not something worth remembering. Knowing what I will expect gives me enough resistance to disappointment. I don't want to end up in a dead end like yesterday. After I gather enough info, I will march straight to the nursing home at night. I will catch that old lady awake. Mark my words.

I exited the dorm and headed to my destination. I didn't free run this time, opting to just walk instead. Besides, I need to conserve my energy (even though I can handle it though). There is no need to haste. Just like yesterday, the populace already filled the streets, doing their businesses and affairs. The orange flare of the Guild's tower can be seen, it has been started. I am considering consulting with Itayel Hanim first, but I digress, my resignation cannot be delayed.

My journey to the city's hall goes unschated. Even though I have never been there, the building can easily be spotted. Of course, this is because it is the first thing that anyone will see when they go to the city's tree. I also learned that it hosts an alternative transportation method to easily traverse the tree when I entered the building: an elevator. If only I knew about yesterday, I would not have to spend three hours looking for the nursing home.

The building inside was spacious, bits of the tree's skin protrude, but it blended with the materials around it. Surprisingly it was rowdy enough here. Especially disgruntled citizens who can't wait in their lines. And at this moment too, I realize the most arduous process here was to wait in my queue. It took me an hour and a half before it was my turn.

"Peace be upon you, efendim, on what business you are here?" deadpanned the receptionist, a lanky man whose eyes got no soul left or that is what I interpreted

"Peace be upon you too," I greeted back. "I wish to see records of Bayan Lael Souleska."

The receptionist grovely hummed. "Head to records section on the eastern wing,"

"Just go to your right from here and ask nearby guards," He instructed as he called next in the line.

I did as he instructed and it led me to a secluded area, away from the noises before. The vines and the tree's skin was prominent here. I was told by the guards that the records section emitted a glow and cannot be missed. Few staff passed me and they all come from one source, the glow that is mentioned. I entered the chamber where it came and came to find a very intricate structure.

There was a glowing ball in the middle, it was held by a root. It connected with everything around the chamber, and gathered among it were many civil servants attending the citizens. There were others like me who seek a record here. Before I could step further, I was halted by an official.

"What do you seek, efendim?"

"I seek for Bayan Lael Souleska records."

"On what business?"

Right, the paper given to me by Itayel Hanim. I handed it to him, and he scowled for a moment before returning to his neutral expression.

"This way," He said.

He brought me to the center, where the glowing ball is at. He touches it and it prompts a screen, a login I guess. The official does his thing and then turns to me.

"What do you want to see?"

"Um, her records?"

He sighed. "There are many records, young man. The question which one you seek?"

I…don't know. I didn't think that far. I should have prepared better on what documents I wanted to read.

"Can I read all of them?"

His eyes widened, and let out another long sigh. "You lancers are always asking too much, aren't you?"

"Is it not enough for you to snoop at others' private records?" He said it as if he had recited this line multiple times.

Are lancers not tolerable as they used to be? I do remember how I was told that their reputation tainted during the civil war two centuries ago. Something about them doing anything necessary to control any damage. I am surprised such recounts were told during my time in the madrasah. Anyway, the official then held my arm to make contact with the ball.

As soon as my skin touched it, my vision blurred a little. Then, a pathway formed within my sight. White lines leading to one of the shelves.

"Follow the lines," The official instructed. "And make sure to return the records."

I nodded. Following his instructions. As I assumed, it led me to Bayan Lael Souleska's records. It was quite a marvel how tidy they are organized. All of her records are in one stack. It's also organized chronologically. From right to left, to the oldest and recent records. Remembering the official's words again, I thought of skipping parts that are too personal, but…I should take the plunge. I sat on a nearby desk and began my 'snooping' as the official called it.

Lael Souleska, formerly Lael Sakin before married to Ephraim Souleska. Born in Verdoyant state, Safak village, on 4 Amoda 2309 3C. That was around… 300 years ago. Moving on, she is the only child of farmers who later inherited the business, but lost it after the civil war erupted and the subsequent occupation of Suleyman Regime in the state. Hm, some history I learned back in the madrasah. Back to the lady at hand, she soon moved out of her birthplace and moved to the company of…

…Lancer Guild.

Wait, is she…a former Lancer? I have to check it. Further records stated that she lived with her husband Ephraim while studying in Firutina's University after the civil war. She graduated with a literature major and spent most of the rest of her life as an author for children's books. Her residence kept changing, probably due to her husband, but even then I don't think a Lancer would move out constantly. Oh, there is permanent residence and it's on…

Haykalak Nursing Home, since 167 years ago.

From there most of the records mentioned her sleep problem. Her general lack of attention to anything around her or just general apathy. As the year goes by, it becomes more severe and by the time of the latest record which is six months ago, she has closed herself altogether. I do see mention of her talking to herself, but there is no mention of letters. I flipped the pages and found no mention of it. The objective of this task, not one mention?

I avert my eyes a bit, giving it a rest. I let my mind take over the work. So, there is no mention of her being a Lancer. That means she remained in this city and was put into the nursing home until now. She was born in 2309 3C and civil war erupted in 2499 and ended in 2555. She was married in 2515. The Great Realm War started in 2695 and ended in 2745. That year is also the end of the cycle which leads to the 4th Cycle. Hm, she was put into Haykalak 44 years before the war ended. Then what I can gather from these events…

My first assumption is that Bayan Souleska has severe hallucinations after being left by her husband. And it is in the form of letters. Perhaps the reason why the nursing home specifically said letters was to return her back to reality. Yeah, that must be it! The letter is not real so I must craft letters to fool her. That’s why Itayel Hanim suggested that I go to city hall. So I can learn who she is and understand where she is coming from and–

I have yet to find out why letters are important to her. Obviously official records won't mention much of that kind of information, but I am missing a context. If there is a possibility the letters indeed are true then it has to be prominent during the gaps between the beginning and the end of each war she has experienced. Since she is a book author, she must have spent her time away from the battlefield, away from her husband. Logically, he would send her letters to her to get in touch. The problem now is I don't know her husband…yet. Is he the type to write the letters or…?

There has to be something I can glean from this.

I could ask for Ephraim's records too, but remembering what the official said, my heart felt heavy. Looking at someone's life felt like an intrusion. Even though that's what I am doing right now. Looking back it seemed like a good idea, but I understand now why. I was left with more questions than ever by just pondering about it. Piecing together a person is harder than piecing together solutions to solve problems.

If there is no mention of her husband's letters then why do they ask us – Lancers – to read it when there is a possibility it didn't even exist? Is this a ploy for the nursing to treat her condition? Wait! Ephraim is a Lancer, right? Abel Bey and Akum Bey must have known him at least.

I put the records back in the stack and put them on the shelf again. I leave the records room and the city hall to the bureau. Hoping the pair would show up. When I arrived there, I saw no sign of them. Itayel Hanim is on the same spot the last time I met her and other aghas (officers) are lounging around.

"Who are you looking for?" A voice came behind me. It was from the one I am looking for.

"Let me guess, you are looking for us, yes?" Abel Bey continued, "And it has to do with the commission I have passed onto you, correct?"

I don't like where this is going. He smiled although it was bittersweet. My hunch was right, he knows much more than going on.

"The letters existed, but it's in someone else's hands now."

"You knew?"

Abel Bey adjusted himself again on the rug we were sitting in. "I have history with our dear Lael Hanim."

"What he wants to say is–" Akum Bey who has been eating his food then said, "The man's been in the civil war and The Realm War you get the picture, right, newbie?"

That means Ephraim and Abel Bey were close back then. It doesn't take a genius to guess Ephraim actively participated in the battles. The same can be said for Abel Bey. After all, when the situation is dire, lancers are expected to fight alongside the soldiers. This is what I was told in the madrasah back then too.

"Finish your food first," Abel Bey chastised his partner. "As Akum has implied, I was close to the couple. Lael Hanim and I lived in the same village before it was conscripted. It's also when I met Ephraim Bey."

"Things happened and the couple married while the war was going. But war is war and expectedly, Ephraim Bey will have to be away from Lael Hanim,"

"Then this is where the letters came in, right?" I assumed.

He nodded. "Ephraim is not the type to write, but he always wanted to keep in touch. So, he started with a simple message like 'I am still alive' or 'I am still safe',"

Akum Bey commented, "What a lovestruck idiot, wasn't he?"

Abel Bey chuckled. "Yeah, he was. He started with short messages then into full blown diary pages,"

"The man sometimes wrote in an intense moment I once thought he was the key to winning the war, haha…" He looked quite dejected when he said that.

"Anyway, things happened and he fell. All he had left was the letter he didn't send. I…had a fight about it with my mentor, a former lancer–Ralph Tazin."

Akum Bey, after gulping his food, says, "That man is a douche. One of the big shots known to be against the Caliphate."

"Now, now, let's not get into politics for now," Abel Bey said. "Moving on, Ralph Bey confiscated the letters saying that Lael Hanim is too dependent on it to live,"

Akum Bey interjected, "And he is the one who sent her to the nursing home which in turn confiscates every letter she had received."

I see it now. The letters, the Souleska couple, and the wars they experienced. But, the question now is why Ralph Tazin, a former lancer decided this is the best course of action? Moreover, why did he leave in the first place? And lastly, is he still reachable?

"Where is he now?" I asked.

"I know that he is still in the caliphate, but since he is marked as a criminal now remembering he is in cahoots with the rebels," Akum Bey answered. "I don't know where he is, but I assume he is gathering more followers."

"Tough luck, then," I realized. Never would I have thought such a simple task of reading letters goes south like this. Still, I have another lingering question on my mind. At this point I know that I won't resign myself if I failed this so…

"Why did you give me this task?" I then continued, "And why did you say that I would be resigning myself if I failed this?"

Akum Bey flatly stared at Abel Bey. The latter sheepishly scratched his cheeks. "Let me answer your second question: I think it would be a good motivator for you,"

H-Huh? Is he for real?!

"Then the first question?" I asked again.

"In the beginning I knew that something was up when the nursing home requested us to do this task. For 167 years Lael Hanim closed herself and out of nowhere the letters are mentioned,"

"There can only be one conclusion I derived, which is that her condition is getting worse. The nursing home noticed this and asked us to find a way to resolve this."

"Why us? Not the doctors or something," I reasoned.

"Simple, the nursing home knows her ties to the lancers. She is a delicate patient so before they go to the extremes, they try to reach out to the ones closest to her, which is admittedly, me and Ralph."

So, that's why. "It was meant for you and Ralph then, but I thought he is no longer a Lancer, why him?"

Abel Bey's expression deepened. "Because he is the one registered as her family member. And, he left The Guild quietly. It was until around forty years ago he resurfaced again although with a different alias now,"

"He comes with different names, but I know his face. People might not know what he is now, but I do and some of us who participated in the war still are."

I sighed, too much history. "Then why me?"

"It's a test for you," Came his reply. "You do know what my blue coat is designated for, right?"

“Blue coat, highest rank of an agha (officer) and…I think that's it.” It's the top rank achieved after the yellow coat which is what Akum Bey is wearing.

"Really, newbie? I didn't attend the madrasah and even I know what his coat means," Akum Bey quipped.

Come on, Noah! You are forgetting something. Remember what the Usta (teacher) Judas has told you!

The highest rank achieved as an agha is blue coat. It's a sign of experience and wisdom. This is only granted to those who wear the value of our Guild the most.

Experience and wisdom. That didn't narrow it down. What else do I miss?

As a blue coat, you are not just an agha, but also an observer to nudge your peers in the right direction…

Oh, I see it now.

"It means that…you are to guide me, a mentor." I answered.

Abel Bey smiled. "Took you long enough to answer, but my job is not just that. I am also to assess your performance. Itayel Hanim spoke of your potential, but you lack a good motivator,"

I gulped, Itayel Hanim is not a good secret keeper!

"And so, I do a gambit, I give a task that was meant for me and see how you fare. I am surprised you are persistent enough to pursue it to the point you…" He coughed. "...Snoops Lael Hanim's records."

HOW MANY HAS SHE HAS TOLD HIM?! No, Akum Bey must have known this too because he has a knowing smile plastered on his face. So, all this time I saw them chat was to tell them about my exploits.

"I-Is it wrong?!" O God, I cannot keep my composure.

"Technically, no, but it was an unwritten rule to not go there immediately unless it's the last resort," Abel Bey answered. "Still, what made you decide to go there?"

I may have taken Usta Judas' lecture without considering the implications.

One of our authorities was given permission to look into records mostly not available to public eyes. Treat carefully, we don't want to make the officials deal with your carelessness in treating these papers.

Curse my ignorance back then! I only thought that since I had the access so I could utilize it whenever I wanted.

"Fortunately, you didn't make a mistake in returning the records so I can commend you for still being delicate of these papers, but," His tone turned stern, "Don't do this again unless you consult with more experienced guildmates and that includes you Itayel!"

Itayel Hanim froze in her place.

"You should have stopped him, but I still forgive you both since he nets a result." He then turned to Akum Bey who was nonchalantly still eating. "And you should have told me sooner what Itayel has told you!"

Akum Bey almost choked from his food.

"You are going to get an earful from me."

His face went white as his eyes.

Abel Bey clasped his hands. "I think that's all we can discuss for today. Rest, Noah Bey. Tomorrow, you'll decide if you wish to continue this task."

I went back to the dorm. After I have done my evening prayers, I ponder what Abel Bey said before I left. The choice seems clear after everything I heard yet even if he said that, I just can't let this off my hook. I want to see this to the end. But, he was right too knowing that I cannot do anything to accomplish it now. Marching to the nursing home seems like a bad idea now after what I learned about Bayan Lael.

Being left alone by your loved ones, losing your home after unjustly treatment, and losing each of your precious ones. It must have been hard for her to keep it going. Knowing her husband is always on the field, all she can count for is his letters. It's the only way she knows what happened. And then if what Abel Bey has implied about Ralph Tazin's decision, Bayan Lael is too attached to it.

Being not able to move on seems worse when all she can do to take the steps is no longer there. I wonder if being too attached is wrong? What if it's the only one that matters to most? What would happen if the only family I have is only one? Can I understand that feeling? The loneliness expressed from words and writings I have heard and seen so far.

Can I even come into her life? How do I enter something not meant for me? I rubbed my face and looked at the mirror. I looked horrible. O God, there were too many questions and the answer seemed out of reach. Maybe I should just hand offer the task back to Abel Bey.

Yeah, that's how it's supposed to be after all….

I am just an outsider…

‘Noah, my ogul (son), a block will always be in your path. What you need to get through it will not appear immediately, but in time it will come.’

‘By the time you wait for it, always move forward and look past the horizon. God will give you what you need soon.’

My Father’s words repeated in my head as I closed my eyes to rest.

.

..

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.

NO!

I haven’t proved myself yet! I haven’t shown what I can do! I haven’t realized my potential! If this task can lead me to be approved by a higher ranked officer and in turn it can lead me to commissions that are more fulfilling then I will finish it. If Abel Bey seeks a good performance then I will give him one.

Whoever this Ralph Tazin is–the one who took the letters, it won’t stop me from using letters to finish this task. If I don’t have one then I write one.

Dear Bayan Lael Souleska,

My name is Noah Sadiik. I am a Lancer Agha assigned to help you. I hope my letters will reach you. If you wish, I can hear your thoughts and worries. I could hear all your problems and be your anchor in times of need. If not, I will still send my letters whether you like it or not. Please know that I did not come with a bad intention. I merely wish to talk to you.

Yours truly,

Noah Sadiik.

I think this is enough for an introduction. I will send it tomorrow. When the time comes, the letters I write will prove to be fruitful.