Bread

That settles it. I hate lunch breaks! To the point I wish they would just stop existing already. There was no need for them. No, sir!

Noise. People talking at the same time trying to be heard over one another. You couldn’t make out anything of what they were discussing but still, it was so relaxing. I could disappear in all this noise. I could simply sit on my chair and eat my lunch silently without anyone paying attention to me. Nobody cared what I was doing and I appeared to be invisible, everything was as it should be. Until it wasn’t.

Suddenly, the comforting noise stopped and dreadful silence spread across the classroom. You could quite literally hear a pin drop. My curiosity was piqued but this situation was making me more vulnerable so I didn’t try to look up and find out what was going on. I didn’t want to be discovered. Especially after the way I had treated Matsuda during the previous lunch break.

Something appeared in my line of view and started swinging back and forth. It took me a second to recognize the item and I took a sharp breath when I did but it was already too late. The person had already started speaking, drawing everyone’s attention to the both of us.

“That’s yours, right? You lost it in the old library yesterday.” I quickly snatched my favorite penguin plushie keychain out of his hand and looked up to meet his eyes with frustration. The way he had phrased it made implications that could be very much misunderstood by everyone else who was currently looking at us with interest and curiosity. Not much happened in the class so something like this was sure to draw everyone’s attention and be the start of gossip. That was the last thing I wanted.

“Thank you. You can leave now.” I gritted between my teeth trying to make him understand the position he put me in and how uncomfortable it made me. He smiled a bit wider. He knew but he found it amusing!

“But I haven’t-...”

“I’m sorry, okay? If that’s what you wanted to hear, I already intended to find you and apologize. I’m sorry for seeing you and your girlfriend at such an intimate moment and ruining it for you two.” I really had felt bad about that and when I had come to school, I had looked around for the hope that I might locate him and have a chance to apologize. In a twisted game of fate, though, he was the one who had come to me. How had he even found me? None of this mattered now. It wasn’t like we were going to see each other again. “Can you please leave now?” I pleaded.

My breath and heartbeat were becoming more and more irregular the more I felt the persistent look of every single student in my class burning me. Until that moment, I was a nobody. After that, they would be aware of my presence. My plan of continuing to live my lonely life until the end of my school years had been ruined in a single instant.

“Girlfriend?” Was the only thing he asked with no apparent intention of moving away. He had a light confused and thoughtful expression on his slightly sunkissed face before his honey eyes cleared up. He looked like a totally different person from the day before. He turned back to me with another nonchalant smile. “That wasn’t my girlfriend” He clarified moving his hand left and right.

My golden eyes opened in surprise. As far as I was concerned, those types of things were what you would expect a couple to do. I might not have much experience in relationships but I believed I knew this much. Wait! That wasn’t even the point! I didn’t care about his love life! I only wanted him to leave me alone!

I used my hands to support my weight and sat up to a half position. I was ready to tell him that none of this was my business or my concern and that he should get out of my sight but he leaned a bit towards me as well making me lose my composure.

The movement made his hair sway and catch my eye. I hadn’t had the time to notice it the previous day but now it was so close that I could discern the way its rose gold colour shone underneath the sunlight. Tufts of it fell in front of his face while some of it was held behind his skull with a small rubber band in a tiny ponytail letting most of it fall near his shoulders.

“I still haven’t thanked you for not ratting me out and leaving the room without disturbing us.” He said in a more serious tone and reached to the pocket of his black trousers. The sudden seriousness had taken me by surprise but I should have known better.

He got the item out of his pocket and set it on my desk. It was the exact same bread that Matsuda had given me. Before I could even register what was going on, he started talking loudly so that everyone in the class could hear.

“Man! You must really love this kind of bread! You even used the toilet excuse so that you could go out and eat it! And the way you ate it-...!” I grabbed him by the black tie of his school uniform and drew him towards me in an effort to make him stop. Everyone’s laughter, however, made it apparent that I was too late and he had already said too much.

“How did you-? Why are you doing this?!” My whole face was burning and every single part of my body was echoing my heartbeat. I could even feel it in the tips of my fingers that were still clinging onto his tie. A passing thought came through my mind but I had to subdue it. I couldn’t strangle him, at least not yet.

“Looks like my work here is done.” He gave me that smile again and easily got set free from my grasp. In mere seconds, he was out of the classroom and out of my sight.

Everyone looking at me would misunderstand my blushing as something sweet that was caused by that boy but I felt like I could die from embarrassment. I couldn’t seem to move my limbs and my brain wasn’t obeying any of my commands to get out and start running or at least sit down.

“What are you all looking at?!” Matsuda’s voice resounded in the walls and everyone looked away reluctantly. She used her body as a shield to cover me. I was thankful but I knew that something like this wasn’t enough to make them forget what had just happened. Even if they were talking to each other like they had never been interrupted, they still cast glances towards every two seconds and seemed to be trying to listen to my conversation with her.

She turned back at me and I was ready to tell her that everything was okay and that she didn’t need to concern herself with me but instead of asking me if everything was fine- as if it wasn’t apparent that it wasn’t-, she took my hand and started walking. I was still in shock so I followed her without asking where we were going or what she was going to do.

She didn’t say anything throughout the route and when we arrived at our destination, she stopped, opened the door for me and pushed me to go inside. It took me a moment to realize that we were right outside the girl’s bathroom.

“If you need anything, I’ll be right outside”

I didn’t immediately get what she was on about but when she closed the door on my face and tears started trickling down my eyes, I understood that I wasn’t as good at hiding my emotions as I thought. She had seen right through me and without even knowing anything about me, she left me alone to let it all out as if she could tell that I wasn’t going to do it in front of her.

I didn’t have much tears to cry, it wasn’t like I was saddened by something. The situation had just put me under too much pressure and when you are as untrained in socializing as I was, when you suddenly get so much attention all at once it could prove to be overwhelming.

I looked at the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy while the moist hadn’t completely faded. My twin ponytails were definitely in a better condition than yesterday but still I undid them, letting my long black hair cascade down my back. It was a routine that I did every morning in the exact same way so when I put them back up with my golden eyes instinctively following every movement, I could already feel myself calming down. I pulled them so they could be tight and not get untied and finally opened the door.

I was met with a very serious look coming from Matsuda. For a second, I felt like I had done something wrong again but apparently, she had been looking at the door with that look for quite some time until I showed up. Her expression melted into a soft smile when she saw me. It made me feel warm.

“I…” Sorry and thank you were very simple words but most of the time, people found it really hard to utter them. That was one of those situations. I stayed there frozen with my mouth agape but completely unable to produce speech. I saw her move and felt something against my stomach.

“I’m glad you liked it.” Was the only thing she said as she gave me the bread that boy had brought. I blushed but giggled at the same time. It was a little funny how that had become our way of communicating with each other. I smiled and started walking by her side as we returned to the class.

“Does that penguin have a name? It was really cute!” She tried to open a less awkward topic.

“Y-yes. His name is Ken” And just like that, I was completely swayed by her into a conversation that wasn’t too deep nor too swallow. It was refreshing. Just like the look she gave anyone that dared to look my way when we returned to the classroom. Maybe, not being alone wasn’t that bad.