I Thought Knighthood Was Supposed to Be Voluntary!

“My name is Nakano Ichika. I hope that our relationships together will be long and fruitful.”

Wait, wait, wait! There’s no way! Is that seriously the same person who was just declaring that she’d destroy the world! Hell no! Don’t just bow elegantly with that stupidly beautiful self-satisfied smile on your face!

I looked on in sheer horror as she finished her introduction and began walking toward me. Of course, the only empty seat in the classroom was next to me. I suppose it was a halfway blessing though, as it allowed me to secure a window seat near the back.

But now, it was nothing more than a curse! In my first year of high school, I, Kirisake Eiji, would be forced to endure the entire year with this nutjob right next to me! I could see the mischievous smile that was dancing on her lips. There was no doubt about it. She was already up to something stupid.

How could I tell? Well, that was rather simple. Instead of sitting down in her seat like any normal person would do on their first day of transferring to a new school, she instead stopped right next to me and extended her hand toward me with the haughtiest look on her face.

I stared at the back of her hand like she was insane. No, scratch that. She is insane.

While being held hostage by Ichika’s eccentricities was already bad, the envious stares coming from all the other boys in the classroom made it even worse.

Someone please interrupt this moment! I don’t care how hot she is, you can have her! Although I pleaded desperately in my mind, there would be no one to save me. Honestly, I felt like a princess being held captive by the demon lord right now. Where the hell is my prince on a white horse!?

I shifted my gaze to the teacher, but I knew it was a lost cause even as I did so. If there was anyone who could give Ichika a run for her money in weirdness, it would be Tsubaki-sensei.

Apparently, she was some bigshot when it came to researching wishes, but her ideas were too radical to be accepted by the scientific community. If that wasn’t weird enough, she also dressed extremely provocatively and drove sports cars around the campus whenever she fancied.

What’s more is that she absolutely refuses to be addressed by anything other than her first name, stating that it “makes her feel old” when she’s addressed formally. Honestly, that was the last thing she should be worried about.

I sighed, resigning myself to the situation that I had found myself in. If Tsubaki-sensei thought this was amusing, then there would truly be no one in the world capable of saving me from my plight.

“What do you want?” I looked up at Ichika. I could already feel a sense of regret welling up in my chest as those words left my lips.

The corners of Ichika’s mouth curved upward into a smug grin. I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to look haughtier than she did just a second ago, but she managed it.

“Is it not proper manners for my knight to bestow upon me a noble greeting before his lady is seated?” In other words, kiss the back of my hand if you want this to end. I grimaced, understanding her meaning entirely.

“UOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!” All the boys in the class screamed simultaneously. It was only in times like these that they could achieve such creepy synchronicity.

Immediately, I was under fire with various jeers and insults being tossed my way. In other words, it was just another day, though a few of the threats did concern me this time.

Regardless, I brushed them away. I didn’t have much choice in the matter, and the more Ichika was allowed to speak, the deeper the hole that I was digging myself into would become.

With that, I cast my pride and self-worth away. In a single deft motion, I took Ichika’s delicate hand in mine and lifted it toward my lips, brushing their unworthy surface against her immaculate skin.

At last, Ichika let out a satisfied giggle and sat down in her seat while the rest of the class continued to berate me. This time, the girls joined in too.

Trust me, if I had a choice in the matter, I’d trade my position to any of you! I don’t even know what I did to deserve getting wrapped up in this!

Eventually, the class quieted down at Tsubaki-sensei’s direction and we were immediately launched into a lecture about various topics that wouldn’t be on our exams as usual.

I had no doubts that Tsubaki-sensei would actually be a great instructor, but that depended on her ability to actually stay on the course material instead of going off on tangents about her esoteric research.

Luckily for me, I was able to kill time by staring outside the window. There were a few classes outside engaging in a game of baseball, no doubt as a part of their physical education class.

Although I was never really a fan of sports, it was far more entertaining than listening to Tsubaki-sensei repeatedly extol the values of her so-called incredible theories when I didn’t understand a word she was saying.

Halfway through class, I noticed that Ichika was staring at me, but I pointedly chose to ignore her which only served to make her increase her efforts.

It was clear that she was trying to start a conversation or something, but I had no intentions of engaging in anything with her beyond the bare minimum that was needed as a fellow classmate.

I already had a lot on my plate after what she did earlier, and I didn’t need the class getting on my case for something else.

Fortunately for me, class ended without incident as the bell rang, dismissing us for the day. Most people took this opportunity to head to their clubs, but today, they all turned their gazes onto me.

As a proud member of the Go Home club, I was already packed and ready to go. I definitely didn’t want anyone interrogating me about my relationship with Ichika, but as I made my way to the door with a triumphant smirk on my face, the worst thing imaginable occurred.

“Eiji. Would you and Ichika mind coming to my lab for a moment?” Tsubaki-sensei’s words rang through my ears like a death sentence.

All eyes on the classroom turned to me. My fate was sealed.

I turned back to face Tsubaki-sensei with the best smile I could muster for someone in my situation.

“Sure... Why not? Ahahaha....”

At that moment, I could already tell that I was going to go insane if this continued on for the rest of the year.