Home Sweet Hell

“Morgan, I want to call the engagement off.”

Morgan stared at David with a cold expression, growing taller as demonic features spread across her body. Horns growing larger, teeth and nails becoming sharper, hooves stomping down and creating massive cracks from the ground. From the cracks, the souls of the dead began to pour out, reaching for him. 

David tried to run away, but their skeletal arms grabbed hold of his legs, tripping him. He desperately kicked at them, trying to break free from their grasp, but only served to pull him into the fiery depths further. As he looked back, he saw the faces of his coworkers and family, their dried mouths gasping out screams.

Why, David…?

Why didn’t you do it…?

Why did you kill us…?

“No… No, I didn’t! I just-!” The sound of footsteps silenced him as he noticed a pair of legs in front of him. Looking up, he saw Gabriela, who stared down at him with a cold, unfeeling expression. In her right hand was her pistol, and in her left, a familiar flaming sword coated in red. Behind her though was the apocalypse, angels and demons clashing and humans caught in the crossfire as Earth crumbled away. She pointed her gun right at his head. “Remember our deal.”

“W-Wait wait, I-!!”

BANG!!

~~~

David’s eyes shot open as he stared up at the ceiling. His head pounded from another binge night at The Trash Heap, which did little for him. The information he was presented with yesterday had still weighed on his mind heavily, and not even booze was enough to push it away. He moved to try and grab his contacts only to find that his body was being held in place by something wrapped around his waist. 

A few touches revealed that it was simply Morgan, who decided that she would be the big spoon and cuddled into him with a peaceful smile to offset his own grimace. He wriggled and writhed, slipping out from under the hug and substituting a pillow in his place. Once free, he grabbed his contact case and carefully put his contacts in.

It wasn’t long before Morgan awoke to find her husband sitting on the bed, hunched over and looking at the ground. Smiling, she slowly crawled on all fours towards him, licking her sharpened teeth before sneakily pulling him into a close hug. “Good morning, my dear~”

David flinched as soon as he was touched but slowly relaxed as he realized who was holding him. This caused Morgan to frown a little, moving in to try and meet his gaze. “Sweetheart, what seems to be the problem? You seem troubled.”

Dammit, she can’t know! He thought as he looked away, trying desperately to think of a lie. “I just… Uhhh… Was thinking that maybe… Staying at this hotel the whole time might not be the smartest idea. We do want to save up money for the wedding.”

Morgan smiled, stroking his cheek gently. “Oh, you… There will be no need to worry. All we need is to tell my father, and we will easily have the money for our future wedding.”

“Ah, your dad. Right. Lucifer,” David chuckled while his mind screamed. There were so many things running through his mind, and all he wanted to do was spend some time at home alone. However, he couldn’t even do that as Morgan had a serious case of boundary issues, as signified by her currently hugging and snuggling him. 

With a defeated sigh, he pulled out his phone and checked his bank balance. His paycheck was there, but two nights at this hotel was eating more than he’d like to lose in a weekend.

“I think it’s time we go home,” David said to no one in particular, putting his phone away and rubbing his face.

Morgan’s face lit up as she leaped from the bed. “Oh, I quite agree! I still need to introduce you to my family!” With a snap of her fingers, a crack formed from thin air and slowly stretched open, a spiral of red and black swirling downwards for what seemed to be forever.

Acting out of self-preservation, David immediately threw out his hands and held them out in a waving motion. “Wait wait wait wait! I can’t go to Hell, not yet! I still have work and such!” He pleaded with her in his gaze. “Besides, don’t you want to see where I live?”

The idea piqued the Devil’s curiosity, who rubbed her chin in thought. If anything, this was a chance to get to know her husband and just how well off he truly was. After all, she had been lied to before about others’ wealth. She looked down at him and nodded, snapping her fingers once more to close the rift in the room. “Very well, David. I do believe that it is within my best interest to see your home. Perhaps we can keep it as a summer home to visit the Earth every now and again.”

Nodding, David’s shoulders drooped in relief. On some level, he was happy that he didn’t have to go to Hell and see what horrors lay beyond. On the other hand, now his home’s location was likely to be compromised. That was when he had to remind himself of one sobering fact: no place was safe for him anymore. Churches, home, work, they all were locations where the angels or Morgan could find him. He just needed to play ball. With any luck, he might live in some sort of peace.

Once they packed up all of the clothes that Morgan had acquired from the stores, they had checked out of the hotel, the manager giving them a plastered grin. “Did you find everything suitable during your stay?”

“Oh yeah… Excellent…” David muttered, lugging the weight of so many bagged clothes on his shoulders like a pack mule. As they exited, the sun’s rays beat down on them, Morgan’s pale skin glistening in the light.

“Now, lead me to our home, my love~”

With a sigh and a nod, David walked down the street until they reached a station, where an aquamarine trolley pulled in and unleashed a torrent of passengers. Passengers ranged from blue-collared construction workers dripping in sweat, homeless people with scents indicating their unwashed status, and other members of society who could charitably deem lower class. It was hardly a form of transportation worthy of the husband of the Devil, let alone the queen herself. The sensation of a pauper falling asleep on her filled her head with worries. Was David hiding his wealth? Did she spend ALL of his money? Is that why they had left?

They would arrive in a new station, one which was mired in dirt and dust. It did not even have a proper parking lot, and its streets were dirt roads. That pit in Morgan’s stomach grew heavier as they left only to walk to a bus stop where a bus that looked to be from the ’70s pulled up, rust and all.

“Ah, great. We got here just in time,” David spoke, walking in and taking a seat in the back. Morgan followed behind, crouching low to try and fit. It appeared she was a tad too large. She was grateful her horns were not out.

The bus took off, and Morgan’s hands clenched tighter. She could smell the scent of something foul coming from an open window. It had to have been manure of some kind. Just the thought made her shiver in fear and disgust.

When they arrived at a bus stop adjacent to a forest, David tugged on a string to indicate that he needed to get off. The driver, a burly woman with a deep farmer’s tan and a homely face, nodded and braked the bus. He slowly exited with Morgan and would lead the way down the forest street.

All the queen of Hell could do was look down and grip her hand tighter, wincing in pain as she dug her nails into her skin and drew a small amount of blood. After walking a ways away, she finally had the courage to speak. “D-David, my beloved… I am sorry, truly sorry for making you expunge all of your wealth on me. Had I known you would have been a pauper, I would have never done so. Please allow me to repay you through reimbursemeeeeeent…”

Her words died in her mouth as she took hold of the sight before her. The house which he stayed in was far from a hovel in the middle of a dusty desert, but rather a two-story home constructed of brick with ornate statues and a gothic iron gate around the property. A flagpole stood tall inside the property, flying the flag of America and below it, Mexico.

They walked into the house, showing the old classical furniture that filled every room. A mixture of patterns mixed with mahogany wood showed that this was a home of older taste.

“Oh, one moment,” David said, setting the bags on the living room couch. “I need to check on something.” He would run around the corner, vanishing behind a door.

Morgan’s curiosity would get the better of her, and she followed closely behind. She took note of the many religious symbols. Crosses, candles, and even pictures of Mary graced the hallways. Although, seeing Mary couldn’t help but make Morgan chuckle. When she arrived at the door David had exited to, she’d find him wiping down a car with some sort of rag. This car was clearly of an older generation but kept in such good condition that it may as well have come off the line that day.

“I… I am confused…” Morgan said, looking around. “Your home is… Quite luxurious and you have a vehicle, a chariot which would be the envy of so many mortals. Why do you subject yourself to such… Filthy conditions?”

David looked up, sighing a bit. “Well… First off, while it is my house, it’s not technically… Mine.” This earned him a look of confusion on her face. “See, my grandparents actually got this property and had built the house from all the work they had done, but after some time, they wanted to go back to Mexico. They asked me to live here and keep the place clean, so I live here rent-free, basically.”

“But what of the maintenance?”

He pointed upwards then to a window. “Solar panels and generators, plus we have a large deposit of water under us, so I don’t have to worry about it for a while. Really, all I need to worry about is paying for food, anything that needs fixing, and the internet. Considering I live in bumfuck nowhere, it's a bit pricey for the good internet.”

Her eye twitched. “A-And this car?? Why not drive it??”

“Are you kidding? This is a Demonio PTX Cruiser from 1973! Getting parts for it is expensive as hell! My abuelo would kill me if I took it out!”

Morgan stared at the man for what seemed like forever. The air was still with the sound of their silence. Then, she began to laugh. She held her eyes and reeled her head back, laughing harder and harder the longer she laughed. Finally, she calmed down, wiping away a tear from her eye.

“Perhaps I misjudged you, David,” Her cheery tone returned to her. “You are not a pauper, or at the very least, I am glad that I am not taking advantage of your wealth as such.”

“Y-Yeah…” He chuckled, rubbing his head. “Still, I wouldn’t mind help paying for stuff every now and then. I don’t mean to be rude, but we bought you a lot of clothes.”

She gave a curt nod. “A fair point and I shall honor it… On one condition.” Her smile grew wicked as she traced a circle on the ground with her finger, producing another magic circle. David’s eyes widened as he covered his ears. He shut his eyes tight, trying his best to ignore the echoing voice of a maddening language until finally, the babbling came to a halt.

When the programmer opened his eyes, he was shocked to see what his fiance had done. His family’s home was no longer a traditional home with light colors and Catholic imagery, but rather a dark, depraved home covered in demonic imagery made to look cute and homey. Crosses became demon circles, plants were feral and nipping at his heels, and he was sure that his fridge wasn’t supposed to be filled with brands like “Hellshire Farms” and “Azi-Mammon Hot Dogs”.

As he continued to assess the damage, he saw that a former picture of the Virgin Mary was instead replaced with one of Mary at some sort of hellish concert, dressed as some punk rock chick and surrounded by demons. “Are you fond of that piece? It was a very big deal in Hell when she came for a visit. We didn’t know she could party so hard~!!”

David’s eye twitched, slowly putting the photo back as Morgan hugged him from behind. “Do not fret, darling~ We can easily set it back if there are ever going to have guests!”

The man could only take a deep breath and rub his face, realizing he truly needed time to know what he actually had gotten himself into.