Real Villain, Desu Wa!
“It’s KENJA TAIMU!!” he shouted.
She just chuckled. She then pulled down the man with her arms and gave that man her lips.
One memory that was also buried.
Something is wriggling on my right foot, Damian woke up. Yeah, it’s definitely a cute caterpillar, or NOT.
Damian was surprised. Strangely, he didn’t find any caterpillar when he looked at his right foot, but he spotted a cockroach.
“Get away!” Damian took a can near him and threw it to the cockroach that had moved. The cockroach and the can were smashed. I pray for your departure, slow cockroach. Why do cockroaches come out from nowhere and multiply later? Why?!
Damian looked at his surroundings. Night. Trash everywhere. I’m in a landfill. Abandoned one, I guess. How the hell did this happen? Damian thought, and then he brushed garbage off his black suit jacket.
Alright, I must have been dumped. But it was reckless. Dumped here? I should have been buried or dumped on a river instead. That meant I had come here of my own free will, and then I slipped and fainted. How careless.
Damian stared at garbage, and his mind went blank. Who am I?
License, identification card --- I must have brought one. Damian searched for a card in his pockets.
Inside his pants pocket, Damian found a wallet. It was a brown, torn wallet.
Found it. Damian took a business card. “Damian Ford. Fancy name,” Damian muttered. “A handsome man in his 20s with a chunk of black hair that is white-colored. Me.”
Damian heard a loud noise and then a man’s voice. The man said, “So much rubbish today.”
“Report it later,” someone said with a robotic voice.
Damian peeked. That robot can act like a real human. This isn’t in the 21st century for sure, Damian thought.
At least I’m the head of robotics engineering, so my life is secured. Strangely, I still remember robotics engineering. It should be the other way around for real-life amnesia, right?
An engine sound could be heard, then it faded. They must be leaving, Damian thought.
Damian stood up and looked at a pile of rubbish that they had dumped. Robots, bloodstains, human bodies. Oh sh*t, is this a robotic empire? Damian chuckled.
A robotics engineer in a dumpster. Was I taking a sh*t? Damian chuckled. I was definitely not working with garbage, so I must have been searching for something here. Probably a classified document or an important data storage that I threw away. Damn it. Damian sighed. Let’s find it.
“In the world that you see,” about thirty minutes later, Damian heard someone who sang that line.
Isn’t this a landfill? Who the f*ck sings in a landfill?! Damian sat and took a rest. I don’t bring any flashlight or other light source. That means I didn’t come here at night.
Drones, AGVs, robotic arms, humanoids. Those are still in good shape. They can just replace its broken parts. Why did they dump those robots?
Damian then looked at the dumped human bodies. Judging from their attire, a waitress, a businessman, a simp, and a teacher. Are they criminals? “Rubbish,” that man said.
“Please keep doing, what you are doing,” the singer sang that line awkwardly for Damian.
“Hey! Don’t you have a healthier place to practice?” Damian shouted.
“For God’s sake, you rubbish, shut uuup,” the singer sang another line for Damian.
“F*ck you. Hahahaha”. Damian climbed a mount of rubbish. He wanted to know who was singing.
A woman. About 160 cm. Math is sure convenient. Hat, mask. Her skill is impressive. A famous person? Damian leaned his left cheek on his left hand.
“But I know that, I can be the one that you want,” the woman kept singing.
Oh, romantic attraction. Stupidity and violence inducer, Damian thought. Doesn’t she sing a piece of anime music? I like it.
“Oh, but you know what, without restraint, you wrecking.”
God, she is suddenly rapping.
The woman finished her performance. “Bravo! Bravo!” Damian shouted and clapped, but the woman just turned around and walked away.
“Hey, b*tch! At least bow to your fan! You are not alone!”
The woman raised her right arm and then her right middle finger.
“Hahaha, good!” Damian said.
The moon is beautiful. Literal speaking, Damian thought. So this landfill is a bit far from the city, and it is in the middle of a desert. The buildings in the city aren’t different from the buildings in the 21st century. However, why is the city surrounded by a wall?
Damian rummaged through cans, fishes, bones, a sh*t, a laptop, and a charger. Is this the one? Damian found a flash drive. A heart sticker was plastered on it. The hell? Disgusting, he commented.
Let’s hope it’s not broken. Damian kept the flash drive in his jacket and took a torn bag. Stains were all over his suit. Now I’m a beggar, he chuckled.
Damian then walked to the city. After a few minutes, he saw one man and one humanoid guarding the city’s gate. Uniform, gun holster. Real police officers, I suppose.
Damian waved his business card and shouted, “Hey! I’m the head of engineering at Bartfort, open the gate!”
The city’s wall is about 5 meters, and there is barbed wire on top of it. Do they imprison their citizens? Damian chuckled.
The officers just stared at Damian, and then the human officer pulled out his gun.
Damian stopped walking and bounced a bit. Oh, sh*t.
The human officer took a shooting stance. Damian turned around. How do you avoid gunfire? Should you zigzag or run in a straight line? Ah, sh*t, whatever! Damian thought, and then he just ran in a straight line.
The human officer shot while the humanoid officer took a start position to run, and then it ran as fast as it could toward Damian.
It was a good decision that I brought cans. Damian took one can from his torn bag. He turned around, and then he threw the can toward the humanoid’s head.
The can hit the humanoid’s head, and the humanoid then did a backflip and smashed the ground.
Holy sh*t, I’m so strong! Damian thought.
Damian kept running away from the landfill and the city. I have to deceive them, so I need to hide in a dune and go back to the landfill later.
After a while, Damian returned to the landfill. He got behind a pile of junk to hide.
They shot after they observed me. Am I a criminal? Damian thought.
Damian leaned on the pile of junk and closed his eyes.
I have a weird sense of touch like a broken sensor. Cockroaches aren’t wriggling, but I felt that way.
I’m also damn strong, my throwing was so hard. It was unbelievable.
I have weird amnesia like I have deleted data.
I could calculate that singer’s height rapidly and precisely with the Pythagorean formula.
I have no sense of disgust. Whether it was a sh*t or not, I just wiped it away.
Damian touched his lower part and thought, And I have a d*ck.
Conclusion: I’m a cyborg. A half-human and a half robot.
If that’s the case, then I must have an OS, a version number, or any robotic thing. Let’s check it.
Damian said, “System Check.” He then said with a robotic voice, “The 10th ultimate cyborg, version 0.1.2, codename: the Super Creator.”
AUTHOR'S NOTEKenja taimu: we become wise after nutting.