The Start of a New School Year

The new school year was upon me, the start of my second year of high school would finally commence and I was the same as always.

There was no reason for me to be excited about such a thing, the only thing that was on my mind in the moment was the fact that the people whom I knew would be there... They would be judging me; they would be giving me stares and worse of all... She would be there as well.

"..."

"Let's get going, brother"

"You can go on ahead, I'll meet up later"

"You're lying. I can tell"

"..."

"If you know that what was said didn't really happen, why are you still clinging onto it this much?"

"You don't understand..." It wasn't that I was clinging to what had happened nor about what had been said, but as someone who was used to talking to others, interacting with my friends whenever the opportunity arose and simply being neutral with everyone was the one thing that was bothering me.

I couldn't go back to those days regardless of what I wanted and even now, just seeing the faces of those who I thought were my friends killed me deep down.

"Fine, whatever. Let's just get going"

"..." I reluctantly agreed with her and started following after her slowly but surely.

Our mom had left earlier than usual for work and thus it was only the both of us in the morning. After doing the usual routine in the morning, it was finally time for the both of us to start making our way towards the school.

For my sister, it would be her first year in high school, I was happy that she managed to get in the same school that I was in, but at the same time, I couldn't help but feel sad at the fact that people would be connecting her with me and in return, she would start to be rejected by those around her.

"But knowing her, that's not going to happen at all"

Just like me, she was very friendly towards others and enjoyed talking to others whenever the chance would arise which in off itself was the one saving grace she had in this whole ordeal.

As we were making our way towards the school, the anxiety I was feeling with each waking step was getting to me slowly but surely, I could feel my legs trembling and my hands were shaking uncontrollably.

I knew that I wasn't sick or anything of the sort, it was just me and my mental state that were making me feel like that.

"... When are you going to get over everything that happened, brother?"

"I don't know..."

"..."

"But this shouldn't affect you, you just keep doing a good job, ok?"

As a big brother, I was despicable, to stoop so low to show my sister a fake smile gave me the urge to vomit on the spot. She noticed this fake smile and simply sighed.

"Stop that"

"W-What?"

"It's nothing"

She knew what I was doing, and it bothered her quite a bit, but there wasn't another way that I could express my concern for her.

"You really should get going ahead so that-"

"Why...?"

"H-Huh?"

"We're finally in the same school and you're worried about my social standing instead of our relationship of brother and sister... Why?"

When her gaze met my own, I could tell that there were a few tears welling up in the corner of her eyelids.

"..."

"I'm leaving"

Before I could try to apologize for my lack of delicacy, she turned around and left me without saying another word. Seeing her do that pained me, but at the same time, I had been the one who was insisting on her leaving me and going to do her own thing.

"I really am a bad brother..."

I cursed at myself under my breath and decided to wait a bit so that I wouldn't bump into her. After waiting outside the school for a bit, I decided that it was finally a good time to start heading inside.

As I made my way through the school grounds, I would see students getting together, talking, messing around and what not, but for me, those days had long since been forgotten.

"I guess I'll go and grab a good seat in the gym"

I quickly headed over towards the indoor gym and as I went inside, I noticed that there were already a few students inside talking, reading or simply on their phones.

I glanced around a bit and found some good seats over at the very back of the whole building. I took one of the seats and simply relaxed myself.

"Finally..."

A sigh of relief escaped my breath, and, in the moment, I knew that I could do whatever I wanted such as the other students int he gym, but deep down, I didn't want to. I simply wanted to stare at the ceiling and think... Think about everything I had done and the people who I had affected because of my actions.

"She's been with me through thick and thin and this is how I repay her? Who am I? I wouldn't have done that to her back then so why am I doing it now?"

I didn't understand it and I knew deep down that I wouldn't be able to figure it out sooner then I needed to. The only thing I did know was that I needed to apologize to her as soon as possible.

"I'll talk to her once I see her alone"

As time passed by, students were finally starting to make their way inside the gym. They were mostly taking the seats in the middle and front section and just like that, the whole gym was almost packed.

Thankfully, nobody took the one spot next to me which made me feel at ease, but just when I had believed that such a pleasant feeling could exist, I was proved wrong.

"Is this seat taken?"

"H-Huh?"

I glanced over at the person in question and saw a girl around the same age as Reiko standing before me. I took a quick glance at the ribbon on her chest and noticed that just like her, she was a first year.

"G-Go ahead"

"Thank you, senpai~!"

I gave her a simple nod and the girl proceeded to plop down onto the chair and let out a sigh of relief "I wasn't expecting all the front row seats to be taken so quickly"

"T-They usually do"

"The second and third years usually take those seats, so why aren't you over there, senpai?"

"I rather be alone, that's all..."

"Really?"

For some reason, her question and the reaction she got upon hearing my answer seemed to have made her notice something, something that I knew what it was, but even then, my best bet was to continue diverting it from that.

"Yeah, I get anxious in big crowds"

"I see, I guess there are people like that, huh~?"

"Y-Yeah"

She beamed me one last smile and then put her attention to the stage where the introduction to the new school year and what not was taking place.

I did the same thing, but in the back of my head, I couldn't help but feel slightly relieved at the fact that she had finally stopped talking to me.

"I guess it's normal that she wouldn't know about me and everything that was said about me, but even then, for a first year, she's awfully nosy about certain things... I should probably try to get away from her at all costs once classes start"

The principal's speech, the rules that the school had in place and what not were being said all the while I was deep in thought, but even then, at times, my gaze would fall on the girl next to me.

Luckily, she seemed to have been focused on what was happening on stage instead of me, which was a relief, but even then, I still found myself staring at her from time to time.

Once everything ended, we were free to go to our classrooms and start going through our normal day once and for all.

As soon as I was about to start getting up and heading to my classroom, the girl next to me stood up, turned towards me and beamed me a smile.

"I'll see you soon, Tadao-senpai~!"

"... What?"

Before I could ask her what that was about, she hurried out of the gym, and I was simply sitting there wondering how she had known about me.

"How does she know me?"

Did she know about what I had supposedly done, did someone tell her about me or was there something else that I didn't know?

"Regardless... I feel like it's better if I simply don't see her again"

With that cleared up, I stood up and headed towards my classroom in hopes that the first day wouldn't be so bad for me and at the same time, I was thinking about the girl who had randomly called me by name.