The body of a real human being is a very interesting machine

—Eh????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You piece of sh…

—Why do you think it was so hard for me to say it?! —Normally, it would be impossible for him to even think about screaming to Mirena. But the moment was so tense that he exploded. Not only for having to talk about those sensitive topics with her, but also because he didn’t want to hear her swear. It felt dirty coming from her lips, always so soft speaking in the books (well, most of time at least).

—You sure are lying, perv! —Mirena shouted even louder as a response—. You’re taking advantage of my ignorance about this world!

—If I were lying —said Ken, a little quieter this time, especially because he didn’t want the neighbors to hear and call the police in the worst of the cases. Maybe he was just exaggerating though—, then why would the toilet be in a different room, huh?

—That’s…! A good point, actually. W-well, just taking off my pants is okay, right? —Ken looked away with embarrassment, and the silence was the best answer to that question—. Are you kidding me?!

—L-look! I’ll leave right away, I have to go and get something, so you can do your things alone, fine?

—Fiiiine… —said Mirena, pouting.

—Nice. I’ll come back in a few minutes. —And then he left the room.

Usually, the street represents the fear and discomfort. But at that moment, he sighed of relief once he left the apartment.

It’d been a long day. That was supposed to be his chill day, and it was anything but. Anyways, he wasn’t sad. Actually, he was really happy. Not only his waifu was incarnated in his apartment, but also she didn’t find him disgusting. So far, at least.

But he was tired of acting. And he was scared. For how long was he going to be able to keep the character?

The nightly streets were pretty lively with all the lights of the buildings and the people that still were walking over there. Since it wasn’t so late yet, the city was awake and active.

Before reaching his destination, he prepared himself to continue acting. Once he reached the usual door, knocked and said:

—Knock, knock! — “Here comes, the cringe moment.”

—Eh? Who is it at this time? —asked her mom, audible confused, on the other side of the door.

—It’s Boo.

—Boo who?

—Wow, don’t cry mom. It’s just a joke.

The usual cringe and the usual laugh, nothing could go wrong in a moment like that.

But it went.

In the 1.43 seconds it took for the door to be open, Ken realized about a huge problem. He had been so focused in relaxing during his walk that didn’t realize before. How the hell was he going to explain that he needed a mattress or something in a moment like that?

The character he created to her mother was funny and extroverted, yes, but still, spending the night with a friend was something very unusual, so he couldn’t use that excuse. Otherwise, it would end up with her mother asking a lot of problematic questions about this friend:

“Who is it? Do I know him? Is he from work? How does he look like? Who are his parents? Is he single?”

Also, there was a possibility that his mother would pull the typical question: “Is it your girlfriend?” And that was even worse, because if he responded with no, then the next line of his mother would be: “When are you going to bring a girl home, honey?”. It was so predictable, yet he was foolish enough to forget about it.

The door was fully closed, and his mother looked up, right to his eyes. He smiled, trying to hide his nerves.

—It’s weird for you to come here so late. What happened?

He took a deep breath. Fresh blood went to his brain, activating the neurons to their highest capability. There was a good thing about watching so much anime and being lying all the time: the stunning improvement of the imagination. He’d mastered the ability to create intricate and fake scenarios to escape from that kind of situations in a second.

—I need a mattress, quick! Just kidding, there is no hurry. But I need it for this night. Do you have one?

—A mattress?

—It doesn’t need to be a mattress. Anything useful to sleep is okay.

—I have a sleeping bag in the attic, but why do you need one?

—I forgot to tell you before, but I inscribed myself in a philanthropic group to help people. I was supposed to go to the orphan to read tales for the children, but one of the leader called me like an hour before. There is a guy that is coming here from, huh, Argentina, and he needs a place to stay. A colleague was going to host him, but something happened and he couldn’t. So they asked me to do it, and of course I said yes. Even if my apartment is a bit small, hehe.

—Oh, how nice of you. Come in, I will indicate you were the sleeping bag is.

—Thanks mom.

He sighed again. The unbeatable streak of lies was still on the road.

—That felt so gooooood —exhaled Mirena, opening the door of the bathroom. The pleasure of peeing after retaining for so long was something she never felt before.

Now, more relieved, she realized how hungry she was. Her stomach growled. Eating a lot was another characteristic of Mirena, and a mere ice cream would never be enough. Nor in this world nor in any other.

She peeked in the drawers of the kitchen, looking for something, and quickly found a bag of chips.

—What is this? —She shook the bag and heard the crunchy sound of the potatoes. Then opened it and take a bit of one. The salty taste quickly filled her mouth—. Oh my god, it’s so delicious!!

In a few second, the chip of bags was empty. The other snacks Ken was hiding in the drawers faced the same fate.

Then she opened the fridge and felt the cold air through her body.

—What’s going on? Inside here is cold, but outside is not… It’s like a micro-biome! Ehhh, this is so great. You can keep the drinks cold with this. So smart! Let’s see…

Of all the bottles and cans, the one named “Cola” was the most interesting. She opened it and peeked the inside. It was a black liquid with gas, a thing she never saw before. Just in case, first she drank just a little, and once she was sure it was safe and delicious, took a big shot. A shy burp came out from her mouth and she blushed.

—Luckily nobody is here…

It was good but burp inducing, so she decided not to drink too much. But that decision didn’t last long, as she ended emptying the four bottles of soda and took out the cans to taste them after eating something more.

Searching in every single drawer she found more food in bags. Immediately, without reading what was it, she took one. It was thin, long and hard. She ate one, and it was disgusting.

—Awful! How is this called? “Spaghetti”. Oh, I see. Wait a minute, in my world we also have spaghettis. That explains why it was so bad, I have to cook it! Silly me… But without fire magic, how do they cook things?

Conveniently, in the backside of the packaging there were the cooking instructions.

First, fill a pot with plenty of water. Put salt on it and boil.

—Yes, in my world it works the same way. But how do I boil the water? And from where do I get water to begin with?

Since the apartment was small, it didn’t take too much time for her to notice the kitchen and the sink. From here she took the water, and then inspected the kitchen. She touched everything, and all the stoves were ignited in a second.

—Whoaa! —screamed at the sudden appearance of four flames right in front of her. (This is dangerous, don’t try this at home).

Then she put the pot there, and waited while eating the candies and chocolates she found. By far, those were the most delicious things she tasted. Just those sweets almost made her forget that she was in a new world, far from everyone she loved.

Once the water boiled, she put everything inside. All the spaghettis and all the rice. The water was overflowing, but she didn’t care about it. Just waited ten minutes, like the plastic pack indicated, and then strained the water and served the food in two plates, because just one wasn’t enough.

She looked at the picture in the package. The one she made didn’t seem so delicious. It had no sauce or cheese, so she opened the fridge again.

—In this world there is no jafixul? Spaghettis are great with jafixul. What could work then…

Guiding herself thanks to the drawings in the package, easily found the cheese and a tomato. Cheese existed in her world, but not tomatoes, so she had no clue what to do with it. It felt soft to the touch, so she just squeezed it and filled the two plates with tomato juice. Then, for the cheese, she cut small pieces with the fingers.

It was done. Still the one in the picture looked prettier, but her plate wasn’t bad either.

—Let’s eat!

Ken arrived to the apartment carrying the sleeping bag in the shoulder, took the elevator, went up to his floor, and waited patiently, humming. After reaching his floor, he got off the elevator and opened the door of his room. And that was when the peace ended.

—I’m ba… What the hell just happened?!

Tons of trash were scattered all over the floor. Mirena was lying in the middle, with all her limbs extended like a starfish. Also, her tummy was plumped.

—Thanks for the meeeal.

—D-did you ate everything?

—It was delicious.

Ken sighed, not in relief this time but in exasperation. Anyways, he didn’t feel like cooking, so he called a pizza delivery and, while waiting, cleaned the room.

He had a portable table below the bed that he used to eat. He deployed it in the middle and placed de pizza on it. It smelled so delicious that Mirena couldn’t resist and took a portion, even when she was so full.

—At least you didn’t drink the water.

—Water also exist in my world, there was no reason for tasting it.

—But you “tasted” the spaghettis anyway…

—Yeah, they were good…

They both were sitting on the floor. He was eating a slice of pizza while she had her head resting on the small table.

—Now that I think about it —said Mirena with a drowsy voice—, I don’t know your name.

—Oh, you’re right. I’m Ken.

—Ken, huh…? It sounds familiar.

—Well, Ken means sword in Japanese, so it’s a word that probably you have said a lot in your original language.

—My original language?

—Yes. But since you came out from an English translation, you speak English.

—So the people of this world do not talk the same language.

—No.

—And how do they communicate with other kingdoms?

—Countries, not kingdoms. And we don’t. Well, in the last years English has become some kind of universal language, but still there is a lot of people we can´t communicate with.

—That sounds like it causes a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings.

—Yeah, it does. In this world there are a lot of conflicts.

—That’s tough, isn’t it? And hey, why does my belly looks like this?

—Because you ate too much. In this world, if you eat and don’t exercise, you get fat. I told you. This world sucks.

—I think it has interesting things. Do you exercise?

—Yes. Actually, tomorrow morning I’m going to the gym.

—Gym? I don’t know what that is, but sounds like fun! Take me with you.

—Ehm, okay, if you want so I guess…

—Thanks Ken. —He blushed a little. Luckily she wasn’t looking at him, so there was no need to hide it—. By the way, what is a convention?

—Is an event with a specific theme. People with same tastes meet together in one place.

—That’s so wonderful… I’m sleepy.

—You can use my bed.

—Eh? Really? Is it okay?

—It’s fine. I brought a sleeping bag for me.

—Thank you very much… *hip* —She tried to stand up, but lost the balance. Ken quickly helped and guided her to the bed.

—You even drank my beer… —So not only she was sleepy and heavy, but also a little drunk. No wonder why she couldn’t even stand up.

Anyways, the bed was just some steps from the table, so they reached it quickly. Ken removed the sheets and Mirena lay down inside.

—I must be a pain in the ass for you… —said Mirena and immediately fell asleep. Ken tucked her in and looked to her face.

—Yeah, that’s right —mumbled—. You made a disaster, ate and drank everything, and didn’t even flush the toilet. You ruined my quiet day, and my incoming free day, and all my free time from now on. So yeah, you are annoying. —He smiled—. Adorably annoying. Good night.