Tears to fill a Fish Bowl

Long after her shift, Kimiko left the café with Makoto, giggling at something he'd said. Their collective laughter was interrupted by the sight of the dim, indigo sky above them. “Guess I didn’t realize how long we’d stayed there for.” Makoto admitted, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.

“Mmhm.” Kimiko agreed, admiring the pretty dark purple sky swirling with the blue and bright orange fading light.

“Hey, you took me to where you work. I should take you to mine.” Makoto said, making her smile.

He led her through the candle-like glow of the city, the fuzz of yellow streetlights illuminating the shine of leftover rain on the ground. The sound of trains and cars even seemed muted in this calming atmosphere.

Eventually, they made it to a coffee shop that was much different than the one that Kimiko worked at. It was painted in dark greens and browns and as they walked into it, she saw a barista behind a counter, drying off a cup with a white cloth.

“All my work can be done on my computer so, this is where I usually go to get it all done.” He explained, walking her to his preferred booth and sitting down.

“You don’t like to stay home to do it?” She asked.

“Nah, too quiet.” He said, making her chuckle.

“This seems pretty quiet to me.” She pointed out.

“Yeah but it’s a different kind of quiet. Like how being in a dark room is different than being in a dark room with a cat on your lap.”

Kimiko cooed thoughtfully and nodded before sitting across from him. “They play nice music here too. Is this your favorite kind of music?”

“Lo-Fi? Ehh… sometimes. I don’t know, I don’t really have a favorite of anything.” He shrugged.

“Huh?” She said with a funny face.

“Favorite song? Favorite food? Favorite drink?”

“Nope, no, and no.” He said with three shakes of his head. “My mood changes all the time, hard to keep up with.”

“I see…” She said, her voice soft and sweet. “So then… really, you have too many favorites to choose from!”

Makoto chuckled. “I guess so when you put it that way.” He then looked around for a moment before looking back at her.

“I’d buy you a drink but I’m kind of sick of coffee right now.”

Kimiko nodded. “Me too.”

“Let’s get some dinner then head home, I’ve kept you out late enough.” He said, then got out of his seat and led her back outside, soon making their way back to their apartment after they'd gotten a quick bite to eat.

Once inside their quaint abode, the door clicked shut, and everything was still, for a moment, before Makoto gasped loudly. “No!!!”

“What?! What’s wrong?!” Kimiko exclaimed as Makoto ran over to the kitchen counter where there sat an empty goldfish bowl, the water a little lower than before. “Oh no…” She whispered.

Makoto ran around the house frantically looking for his fish, under the couch, under the pillows on the couch, in the bed, in the pantry-

“Wouldn’t it make more sense that he um… fell into the sink?” Kimiko brought up gently.

He stopped his searching for a moment, his hair a mess. “It would, if he hadn’t already done that before. He should know better.”

“Well um… I hear that goldfish have short-term memories.” She wrung her hands together nervously.

Makoto froze for a second then shook his head. “No, he recognizes my face. He’s a smart fish.”

Then, a lanky black cat popped up silently on the window sill with, what almost looked like a smirk.

“Oh hello Shadow. Have you seen Makoto’s fish?” She asked, but the man in question was glaring at the cat with accusation written all over his face.

Kimiko looked from the cat to Makoto and her eyes widened, her hands out in an attempt to pacify. “Now, hold on a minute.”

“He… ate, him! That fish survived three hundred years just to get swallowed up by a cat?!”

“Is he… really three hundred years old?” She wasn’t sure now if he was joking.

Then a white cat popped up on the window sill. He had one good dark eye and a scar down his other eye which was closed shut. The cat looked from Kimiko and Makoto to the snickering black cat then swiped at the dark cat’s head with its paw, making it open its mouth. Inside, was the chubby goldfish, sitting in a pool of water in the cat's mouth, dumbly.

Makoto squeaked in horror but also strangely, relief.

Kimiko cupped her hands together in front of the black cat. “Release.”

Reluctantly, the cat let the fish go and Kimiko placed it back into its fish bowl, which Makoto quickly snatched up and filled with more water. “Thank goodness he’s okay.”

“We should probably keep him somewhere else so this doesn’t happen again.” Kimiko said. “He can stay in the bedroom. I'll keep the window closed in there.”

Makoto nodded with a sigh of relief and handed her the fish bowl. “Those are your cats?”

“Hm? Oh, yes. Well, if my apartment asks, then no.” She said with a funny smile. “They're stray cats that I feed and I guess they got tired of waiting for me so they somehow found me here.”

Shadow meowed at her and she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll be right with you sir, please wait.” She said to the creature before hurrying off to the bedroom to set the fish down on her nightstand, safe and sound. Then she washed her hands to be free of the yucky feeling of a fish that’s been in a cat’s mouth and went to the fridge to find some more… appropriate fish to feed the needy cats.

“What’s the deal with the white one?” Makoto asked. “Seems pretty stoic.”

Kimiko shrugged as she pulled out two cans of tuna. “He acts like that but he’s a sweetheart.”

The white cat hissed aggressively and looked away from her.

“You… sure?” Makoto questioned.

Kimiko opened the tuna cans then made each cat sit before she gave them their food in little bowls. “Absolutely! He's just scared to trust people I think. I call him Flash. Not very unique names I know, but it was the first thing I thought when I saw them."

"You seem to enjoy being a caregiver." He pointed out.

"It makes me happy." She agreed with a smile and bright eyes.

"Is that why you want to be a wife so bad?"

Kimiko's eyes widened, she fiddled with her hands uncomfortably. "Um..." She wasn't expecting him to be so candid and she lost her usual energy.

Makoto let the silence linger for a moment, having learned that sometimes people talk more when you give them the space to, but still, she didn't speak. "You're a funny one, you know that?"

"Hm?" She hummed, her smile curved in a sort of wavy zig-zag because of her unease.

Makoto snickered, then ruffled her hair, which seemed to change her expression instantly like shaking an etch-a-sketch. "One moment you want to marry me after one date and the next you're embarrassed to tell me why."

Kimiko's eyes shined like big bright planets while her lip was slightly pouted. "I just don't want you to laugh at me."

Makoto hummed and leaned against the counter, one leg crossed over the other. "But what if it's funny?"

She was taken aback by his answer and she shook her head. "It isn't!"

"Well isn't that for me to say?"

"Mm… I guess, but it'll hurt my feelings if you do." Kimiko admitted.

"I see… well! I guess that's a chance you'll have to take." He said with a smirk, a mischievous spark behind his gaze that made her wonder whether he really didn't care if she was sad or not. Was that what he was trying to do? Confuse her?

She shrunk down under his gaze and took a deep breath before she explained. "It's just… well, my father knew he would marry my mother after their second date."

Makoto chuckled with good nature. "You trying to break their record or something?"

"No…" Kimiko chided. "It's just how I always thought it would happen for me too. Follow your heart and all that, you know?"

"I see." Makoto mused. "And how long did they know each other before getting married?"

"Two years." Kimiko said with a chirpy voice.

Makoto's face stretched into a mixture of cringe and sympathy. "Eh… don't you think you were missing a few steps?"

"Nope!" Kimiko shook her head, her silky hair swaying side to side. "Because they ended up getting married anyway so why waste time?"

Makoto saw her face and realized that she was seriously just that much of an optimist. He had to tell her the truth now. As much as he would usually not mind keeping things up to have fun, it just wasn't right. Not to a girl like her. "Kimiko, come here." He said, and led her to the living room where he guided her to sit down on the couch, then knelt down on one knee to the side of her. He had a much more sincere face than she was used to seeing.

"Makoto?" She asked with worry, her voice sweet and innocent enough to nearly make him stop, but he had to press on.

"I don't want to hurt you, so, I'm just going to say it now. I…" He faltered for just a moment. "I don't want to get married, not ever, not to anyone. That's just not a life I want for myself."

Kimiko looked at him in growing disbelief, like someone seeing a hole in their beloved ship and trying to block the rushing waves with their own small hands. "But… that doesn't make sense. You signed up for this, doesn't that mean that a part of you wants to-"

"I'm sorry. I signed up for this a long time ago. I was eighteen, and stupid, and lazy enough to just keep putting off taking myself off the list because I knew it was nonrefundable. I didn't think my profile would actually match with anyone else's, I had made it on a whim with all of my worst qualities and most ridiculous traits. I figured that if I did match with someone then it would be fate, but as time went on I stopped caring about that sort of thing. I don't even know why she matched you with me. You're… you're too sweet for me-"

"I appreciate the honesty, but please don't ruin it with lies." Kimiko interrupted, the softness in her eyes having dimmed into realism. "I'm not too sweet for you. You deserve someone sweet, because you're sweet too." She said, giving him a playful poke to his chest.

Makoto chuckled softly, hinting with some regret. "Not really."

"Well, you are to me." Kimiko said decidedly as she looked into his eyes even as he tried to avert her gaze. "Now stand up please."

Makoto did as she asked, although his expression was still crestfallen, her standing soon after with a steady expression.

"I won't pretend I'm not disappointed, but, we do still have to live together or else we lose out on a lot of money. So…" She extended her hand for him to shake. "Friends?"

Makoto's mouth curved into a sad smile before he shook her hand. "Friends."

"Good." Kimiko said with a brighter smile this time, a light in her eyes different than before, like someone trying to light a match but only getting a few sparks in the dark. "Now cheer up, I can't stand it when my friends are sad." She said kindly. "Let's get some sleep, yeah?"

"Yeah…" Makoto agreed and watched her brave smile waver just a bit before she turned and left to her room.

He didn't expect it to hurt as much as it did to hear her quiet sniffles in the middle of the night. It didn't used to bother him when he'd accidentally made a girl cry, especially since he never allowed himself to know any girl for longer than a month. This time felt different though, and it didn't really make sense to him why.

Apparently, reasons hardly mattered, because it was still hard for him to sleep that night despite him knowing he'd done the right thing.