Chapter 1:

Chapter 01 - Fantasy

Dreams, Don't Die


                                                                       Chapter 01 - Fantasy
                                           “Give up on your dreams and die like the rest of us.”


Those words may as well have been spoken to me on the day I decided my future…
My name is Taiyo Moriyama, a high schooler. The year is 2009. In a few weeks, in early May, I will be graduating.

Ah, graduation. A time in the lives of high school students when they can begin the next stage of their lives and begin to live and be treated as adults. Oh, and more freedom, can't forget about that. Graduation is also a moment of happiness for most people, the start of a chance to begin a new adventure for others.

Happiness...adventure... Heh, I won't be able to experience such things after high school, won't I?


Let’s start the story back to January of this year. I remember it was a chilly, cloudy morning with no sign of snow. School had just resumed from the winter holidays.

I exited the school bus, wide awake and calm and composed, as usual. My first sight was a crowd of freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior students in the courtyard of the school, all happy to see each other. Some were linking up and showing off their Christmas gifts, chatting about what they did during the holiday vacation, assuming they haven’t already done so the night before or during the break. Others were bemoaning about the return to school, how they would like two or three more extra weeks of winter vacation and what they would do with the extra weeks.

I admit, it is a nuisance to return to school just as I was beginning to enjoy myself, spending time with family, and time for gaming, anime, and reading manga. But, to return to a place to see and hear my peers. A place where I can feel at ease and gain knowledge with little distractions. A place where I can make lasting memories. It’s a feeling that’s akin to returning home, ya know? Maybe I’m the only one who feels such emotions towards school, but it’s enough to draw a subtle smile on my face, and that’s all I need to tell myself that today will be a great day.

As refreshing as it was to return to school, I, on the other hand, had two things that are more pressing to think about: 1) getting to the cafeteria in time before the starting school bell rings, and 2) what's going to happen during the new semester.

I had been eagerly anticipating starting the new classes of the semester, my final semester as a high school student, since two days after Christmas. Math, economics, social studies, language arts, and business class were on my list of classes to take. More importantly, there was a lot for me to think about, such as which university should I apply to, how to prepare for any university entrance exams or standardized testing, and which major should I pursue.
It’s the final stretch of my high school life, and I’m only now beginning to think about these things. Well, we all have to start somewhere.

With the second half of the semester underway, every student taking the business course was required to participate in a business plan contest. ‘Work in groups to compete against each other,’ was what was instructed to us. However…

                                                                           ***
“I refuse,” I blatantly said to my business teacher, Mrs. Robins.

“Excuse me?” She had a puzzled look on her face.

Mrs. Robins had known me ever since I was a quiet freshman who always kept his head down or averted eye contact because I was shy.

In fact, I’m still the quiet student that my teachers and peers perceive me, the quiet student who completes his assignments, doesn’t cause trouble, and often has his nose in a book or manga, or is always writing something. I don’t talk much except only when necessary, but I do have a small group of friends that I chat with throughout the school day.

It was at this specific moment, of all moments in my life, when I had enough of people forcing upon me what they think is better for me. I may be quiet, but dammit I have a voice, and I want it to be heard!

“I refuse,” I repeated. “I won’t do a group project because:
1) I’m usually the one doing all the work and the slackers get all the credit."
There's bound to be one person who has no idea what's going on, another who says they are committed but does nothing, and someone who disappears at the beginning and reappears on presentation day.
"And 2) Whenever there is a class project, I have a vision in mind. I have a vision of how I want to succeed. I want that vision to become reality. I want to own that vision for myself.”

“Well why not communicate that vision with your team members?” Mrs. Robins was smiling patiently. Her smile usually works on me. In fact, I look up to teachers and hardworking adults. I don’t want to let them down. But…

“Because,” I began. My heart is racing from nervousness, my palms are sweaty. Good thing I digested mom's spaghetti from last night.

I fiddled with my favorite pen between my trembling fingers. “Because nobody sees my vision the way I do. I don’t want to sacrifice my vision nor my dreams just because a few people are unable to see it. So, I refuse to work in a group for this project.”

There! I said it! The quiet kid stood up for his vision!

Maybe I surprised Mrs. Robins because it took her a while to respond. My heart began to sink AND accelerate!

Burst out of my chest and stick the landing onto the teacher’s desk, why don’t you?

My favorite pen moved between my fingers faster. I wanted to break this silence.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Robins.”

“Don’t apologize, Taiyo. I’m actually surprised.”

Wait, what? “Excuse me?” I barely held in those words.

“In business, it’s always important to work together and to communicate ideas effectively. However, it’s more important to work towards bringing your vision to life, even if you must do it yourself. You know, I never thought that you of all people would stand up for what you believe in. You’re always so quiet, and you seem to always go with the flow with everything.”

She wasn’t wrong. I always sacrificed my ideas, my feelings, my vision, and what could have been for fear of sounding stupid or being rejected.

“I will grant you permission to work alone for this contest. However, if you feel that you can’t handle it, let me know and I will place you in a group.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Robins.” I smiled with soft yet heartfelt gratitude. And in return, she patiently smiled. I turned around and began to make my way back to my computer desk.

Thank you,’ I conversed to myself internally, ‘for looking out for me, but I won’t back down. I will see it through to the end.

I was determined not to fail, but most of all, determined to transform my vision into reality.

                                                                                   ***

As soon as I sat down at my desk I fired away, typing up my business plan. With each strike of the letters on the keyboard, the words ‘Weekly FanLit Magazine’ spilled onto the white document.

My vision: a weekly online literary magazine where aspiring authors can submit their novel series to be read by people online. It was inspired by a popular magazine called Weekly Shonen Jump Magazine. Every week, I would read the latest chapters, watch the latest anime episodes, and a few times a month I’d buy the latest novel, manga volumes, or the soundtrack or opening and ending music CD.

Not to be mistaken as someone who is obsessed with anime, I have always been more intrigued by the stories contained in anime and manga than what’s presented in dramas and TV shows with actors. The stories are always so imaginative, and the character designs and the characters themselves lend more depth and memorable appeal. Too bad I have no drawing skills. And just when I thought a novel, anime, or manga I have completed couldn’t be topped, another creator releases something that is just as imaginative! It’s just so awesome to read their imaginations and to be able to appreciate their hard work and passion!

There’s another vision of mine, a passion, a dream. Of all the things I want to accomplish during my lifetime, making this dream of mine become a reality is in the top five. And that dream is to become an author. Poetry, short stories, light novels, a one-shot novel, even an anime series or story writer of a manga, I long to become an author just as much as the next person who longs to become the leader of their country.

Ever since I was a toddler, I was always tucked safely away in my mind, imagining myself going on adventures: discovering new kingdoms, defeating dragons, traversing through enchanted forests, and establishing civilizations on Jupiter. Even to this day, there is no limit to my imagination. Though, being the quiet person I was, and still am, I keep such things to myself. I didn’t know how to communicate these imaginations, and I feared that if anyone were to know about what goes on in my mind, I would be thought of as weird. That is...until I entered middle school.

I don’t know when or why or any of the specifics, but something spurred inside me to write down my inspirations and imaginations and to make them into a story of some sort. I remember watching the anime Slayers and Lost Universe during middle school. The world contained in those anime, the fantasy; the magic and spells and weapons; how the creators brought the characters to life with their personalities, interactions, and inner and outer conflicts; the slapstick humor; and the battles always captivated me, enough that I started writing my own fanfic.

Hey, reader, don’t look at me like that. I was only thirteen at that time. And it wasn’t just typical fanfic of shipping and self-inserts. Rather, I would think to myself ‘What if this happened instead?’ or ‘What if they were to go on this kind of adventure?’ Pair it together with whatever J-Pop music I was into at the time, and that’s how I would create my fanfics.

I would read my fanfics in front of my language arts class and…my classmates didn’t enjoy listening to them, as expected. The disinterest on their faces said it all, that they have no idea what I was talking about and not a shred of care. But, not all of them hated it. I remember my language arts teacher enjoying the adventures, as well as a classmate or two enjoying my writing. Just knowing this encouraged me to write more and more.

At some point, I stopped sharing my writings aloud in class. I rather not talk about it. But, I didn’t give up on my passion for creative writing.

It wasn’t until 9th grade that I began to share my stories again. This time, not aloud nor to my peers, but rather to someone who I befriended in detention. I’m not the type of person who willingly gets detention because of bad behavior or rule-breaking or anything of that sort. Just hear me out.

                                                                                       ***

It was during the first week of beginning high school. I had arrived late to school twice already, still not adjusted to the time difference of starting the school day at 7:30 AM. That day, though, I arrived at school on time before the late bell…but not too much time remained. In a crazed dash, I crammed my bookbag into my locker, grabbed whatever books I may need, and hauled myself to my homeroom class. As I arrived at my desk, the late bell rang, thus beginning the school day.

“Yes! I made it in time!” I softly exclaimed to myself.

“Moriyama” my homeroom teacher called out. “You’re late! This is the third time this week!”

“But…I’m not late. You and everyone else saw; I entered the classroom before the late bell rang.”

“Yes, you did. However, you are standing by your desk, not in your seat. To be seated at your desk means you are ready for learning. To be standing by your desk means you are not ready to learn. Therefore, you are late.”

What? That’s such crap! As much as I wanted to say that aloud…

“You have one-hour detention after school today for your tardiness. See me in room 103, by the cafeteria.”

Detention?! This isn't fair! I’m in the classroom!

As much as I wanted to refute…I couldn’t. I shouldn’t talk back to teachers. I shouldn’t have an outburst; it wouldn’t do me any good. As I meekly pushed back my chair to sit at my desk, I heard the whispers of my peers.

“Detention on the first week of school? I feel sorry for the guy.”

“Looks like he doesn’t have what it takes to survive in high school.”

“Maybe he isn’t a good student as he seems.”

Easy to talk if it’s not happening to you. They know nothing about me. I wish they’d keep those thoughts to themselves though…

Before I knew it, the school day was over…and the hour-long detention was beginning. I walked into room 103 and took my seat at whatever empty desk was available.

Good to know that I’m not having detention alone. Haha…
Still, no amount of inner relief could salvage how I feel about this situation.

“Alright, listen up!” the teacher supervising detention, Mr. Ross, bellowed.

It's one of the school’s coaches. Why am I not surprised?

“For one reason or another, you have detention! There are five of you all here, so when I call your name, I want you to say why you have detention on the first week of school! Maybe you all could learn from each other since you obviously haven’t learned a thing this week! Alfred!”

The student named Alfred said his reason for detention aloud. “I was cutting class because I didn’t want to be there.”

“Julie!” the teacher barked.

“I threw mashed potato across the lunch room to get my friend’s attention, but it hit a teacher. But to be fair, the teacher was in the way.”

“Rodney!”

No response.

“Rodney Jones!”

Silence replied back.

“Well, looks like Rodney has another day of detention. Livi!”

The girl named Livi responded. “I was late to school three times this week. I will do better to come to school on time from now on.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Taiyo!”

“Sir, I shouldn’t be in detention. I was actually at school on time. My homeroom teacher gave me detention because I wasn’t sitting at my desk when the bell rang. But I was standing next to my desk, with my books and ready for the day.”

“I’m not sure if you’re trying to impress that girl, or if you’re trying to be funny, or if you feel ashamed and embarrassed, but no need to lie about it, Taiyo! Take responsibility for your actions; it will help you become a better person!” Mr. Ross lectured.

What the crap! This totally isn’t fair! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?

“Now, with the formalities out of the way,” Mr. Ross continued, “for your detention, you could either do your homework or read a book! If you have neither, then I have paper, a pencil, and this dictionary you can copy the words and definitions! I should let you know that the school has already whited out any profanities or inappropriate words from ALL of the dictionaries in the school!”

“What? Aww man,” a few of the students mumbled.

“I don’t remember asking for your permission! Now, get to it!”

I guess coaches like to yell in every sentence or something. Oh well, sucks to be in detention, but I might as well make the best of it.

I pulled out a manga that I have been reading during my free time throughout the day, One Piece. It was the latest volume at that time. Luffy and his crew were battling Don Krieg’s crew on the restaurant ship Baratie alongside the cook Sanji. The action and the story were really heating up! Pun intended.

A slow hour of detention came to an end. I placed my manga in my bookbag, zipped it up, and slumped it on my back as I exited the room.

I hope I never have to go through that again!

“Taiyo! Taiyo!” Someone was calling after me, but who?

I turned around. It was one of the students from detention, Livi. She wore oval-shaped glasses, dark green eyes, and long brown hair that stopped halfway at her back. She looked happy. I wonder why. There was a piece of paper in her hand.

I wonder what it could be. A love note? Could my first high school romance be happening? So soon?!

“This fell from your bookbag. It looked important.” She held out the paper for me, and I gently took it from her hand. I scanned the paper for its contents. It was important indeed.

“Oh, thanks,” I mumbled politely, and shyly.

“Is that your homework?”

“No, it’s just something I have been working on. Something I enjoy.”

I bashfully placed the paper inside my bookbag and made extra sure that it was secured. Livi was cute, but it’s not the reason for me being shy and bashful.

Someone read my creative writing! Goodness, it must be crap writing! She must think I’m weird! My high school life is crashing and burning before my eyes, and it’s only the third day!

“You mean creative writing? I also do creative writing!” Livi said with a sunny smile.

Huh? Someone else…who also enjoys creative writing?

“Y-You do? You don’t think my writing is bad?”

“Not at all. I’d like to read more of it if you don’t mind. Oh, my name is Livi, by the way. In case you have forgotten.”

“N-no, I haven’t forgotten.” I almost did, because I’m not good at remembering people's names on first introductions. “My name is Taiyo, in case you have forgotten.”

“Of course I haven’t. I just called out to you a few seconds ago.”

“Oh, haha. Silly me.”

“We’re also in orchestra together.”

Livi’s in orchestra with me? How did I not notice?

“You probably didn’t notice because I don’t have my instrument yet, but I promise I will get my instrument before Friday!”

She’s so lively. A big contrast to my personality.

“Erm, yeah. Looking forward to playing music with you. My ride is here. I’ll see you in orchestra tomorrow.”

“Oh, wait!” Livi exclaimed. “Let me see your paper again.”

Puzzled, I brought out the paper once more, and she began to write something on the paper. It was her…

“My phone number. Let’s talk more tonight if you're free. I’d like to know more about your creative writing, and that manga you were reading. I like One Piece, too!”

And from that moment, it was the start of a friendship. I was taken aback by her actions and her personality, but I also welcomed it. It was…refreshing, inviting. I remember looking forward to talking to her on the phone, even though I’m not one to do anything with friends openly around my family. Case in point, my mom saw Livi give her phone number to me and began to tease me about it for the rest of the evening, and night…and for the rest of the week…and for the following few months.

Livi and I began sharing each other’s writings and creative thoughts, even going as far as to create our own characters in each other’s respective stories. Unfortunately, one day her mom tore up all of my writing. Definitely a heavy blow. But that didn’t deter me. Oh well, on to the next creative idea.

Whether it be a love poem, ideas, or cheesy fanfics, I made it a point to write at least once a week or as much as I could. There’s no rule saying that you can’t be your own audience, as long as you don’t always pat yourself on the back and think you can do no wrong. Maybe someday there will be an audience I can stand in front of again…

                                                                                           ***

Back to the business plan competition. I completed the details of my business plan that night for homework. The next time in business class that week, we are to present our business plans in front of the class to the teacher for approval, feedback, and a possible grade.
On that day, groups were being called one by one, names of three to four people to a group. Somewhere in the order of the groups being called was my group: Team Me.

“Taiyo, please come and present your business plan.”

I immediately stood to my feet and made my way to the front of the class. My nerves were getting to me again. In my right hand was my pen, twirling around in between my fingers. My palms weren’t sweaty this time, but it didn’t help that I overheard the murmurs.

“Taiyo? Just him?”


“He’s in a group by himself?”

“He must think he’s too good to work with us.”

“He is always quiet. I wonder how well this is going to go.”

The pen fell from my grasp from my shaking fingers. I reached down to pick up my pen, only to almost stumble on my face from a loose shoelace from my left shoe. I caught my balance, but not before grazing my left arm on the projector cart. What a smooth way to introduce my business plan.

“Are the nerves getting the best of you?” Mrs. Robins had asked.

I couldn’t tell if she was joking, concerned, or trying to help me feel relaxed. But what I did know is that I have something to prove.

“No, I’m okay.” I spoke with a sheepish smile, yet my voice was so low that it was barely heard from the back of the classroom, and it wasn’t a big classroom. I straightened myself, pulling my jacket close to me as if it would help me speak louder.


“Hello everyone. My name is Taiyo. How are all of you today?” I greeted.


“Louder, Taiyo. I can’t hear you.”

A few students snickered, and a few others sighed from lack of patience or just not wanting to do this. Whatever it may be the cause, the feeling that began to swell inside was not embarrassment, but determination, determined to let those people put their foot in their own mouths.

“Hello everyone,” I said louder, “My name is Taiyo. Today, I am presenting my business plan for the business ‘Weekly FanLit Magazine’.”

The snickering had stopped. I had everyone’s attention. Probably because the name of the magazine is so stupid.

“The purpose of this magazine is to give space to writers who want their writings to be read and heard. The mission statement: ‘Bringing fantasy to fans’. This can be achieved by establishing our presence online. It’s 2009; as each day passes, online entertainment is growing at a steady pace. The time is now to cement yourself in the online sphere. Years from now, online entertainment will most likely be very saturated that it will be difficult to break waves, to stand out among the rest. So, why not do it now? Whether it’s manga, comics, fantasy literature, or poetry, my proposed company and its business plan will create this space. With my love for literature and manga, authors and fans alike will be able to cement themselves in the booming online entertainment.”

The more I continued to speak, the more my passion flared. I don’t think I have ever spoken this much in length in anything before. It is most likely the first time I have ever spoken about my passion in front of a sizeable audience before, an audience that most likely does not share the same interests as me. But it cannot be denied that I felt great. I was happy.

That happiness, though, may be short-lived. My peers and Mrs. Robins are silent. Not a word. Not a cough. Not a clap.

Was I weird? Was my vision weird? Or maybe it was stupid. My business plan proposal was nothing like the other groups. Theirs were typical and creative. Mine was different. What are they waiting for? Go ahead, laugh at me!

“Taiyo,” Mrs. Robins began, “I’m quite surprised. In awe even.”


“Eh? Excuse me?”

“First, of all the four years I have been your teacher, this is the first time I have ever heard you speak this much, and the first time I’ve seen your passion.”

“O-oh. Thanks.” I chuckled bashfully. It’s not often I receive praise, so I take it however and whenever.

“Now, as for your business plan proposal…”
That’s right. Just because I received praise doesn’t mean that my proposal was accepted. I’m walking on eggshells again.

“There are some things about your business plan that needs to be more developed, such as how you plan to appeal to authors to get on board with you, how you plan to get the financing, and how the financing will be spent. Who are your competitors and what are they doing that works and how will you be able to compete and sustain your business for years to come, a 5-year plan?”

I gulped to myself, though I’m sure the class heard it. I continued to stand at the front of the class as the nurturing Mrs. Robins rapidly pecked holes into my business plan like a hawk. It’s true, I hadn’t mentioned any of those things. I hadn’t even thought about them. It’s too late to add to it, too late to even mention it. 

When is that rejection punch going to land across my face?

“It’s wonderful to pursue your passions, but a passion without a sound plan is bound to burn up and explode in your face. So, that’s why, Taiyo and everyone else, your business proposals are all accepted. But, many of you have a lot of work and planning ahead of you between now and the first week of March. Waste no time and strike while your ideas are hot.”

Internally, I sighed a sigh of relief.

Accepted. My business plan was accepted. But the one-man war has only just begun. It’s me against five other groups. I have to come out on top!

“Thank you, Mrs. Robins.” I gently and subtly bowed my head and made my way back to my desk.

Upon sitting down, I glanced toward my left. A few computer desks away from me was the most beautiful girl in any of my classes this semester: Athena. She was just as quiet as me. She was fiddling with the ends of her raven-black hair between her fingers. Surely, I impressed her, or at least caught her attention somehow. She didn’t look in my direction.

I mustn’t stare or she’ll notice me. Wait, that’s what I want, right? Maybe not in that way. Get it together, Taiyo. You of all people know that - -

The electronic school bell rang throughout the school, signaling the time for a class change. I gathered my books and belongings into my right arm, sliding my favorite pen into my right pocket. I turned around to head to my next class when…

“Hello ~!” A scarlet-haired classmate cheerfully greeted, right in front of my face.

Umm, personal space much?

“H-hello. May…I help you with something?” My voice was quiet, a bit shy. It’s just how I typically speak with people who I don’t know all too well. I took a step back to create space between the classmate and me. The classmate stepped forward. I stepped back. The classmate stepped forward. I stepped back. The classmate stepped forward.

“You most certainly can help me with something, Taiyo,” the classmate said.

You can help me first by giving me personal space. Besides, who are you again?

“Umm…and what might that be?” I asked.

The classmate grabbed both of my hands into hers, resulting in me almost dropping all of my books from between my arm and side.

She’s grabbing my hands! What if Athena sees this? I’m not interested in this person who’s holding my hands at all!

The eyes of the scarlet-haired classmate began to gleam brightly like a pair of stars. She leaned in closer. Maybe a little too close! 

Get away from me! This isn’t allowed at school!

“Join the Dead Writers’ Society!” the scarlet-haired classmate asked with beaming enthusiasm.
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