Chapter 1:

It Goes One Ear and Goes Out The Other

Something To Talk About

Life isn’t what we all want it to be. We all have our highlights and lowlights as individuals, and that’s just how it is. We suffer in silence and cry together unknowingly. There are so many people out there I know who put up a border to block out their true feelings, and then there are people like me who are trying to learn more about themselves each, and every day. Self-improvement journeys are difficult to go through, and you wouldn’t understand until you undergo one. I’ve learned so much about myself in the last two years of my life and realized how I can finally express myself besides having these inner monologues in my head. You see people express the way their feel in many ways. Rap, drawing, painting, writing, and so on. Vincent Van Gogh did this with his painting by using a certain application of paint and symbolic colors to express subjective feelings. Methods like these are constantly applied these days with paintings.

Earl Sweatshirt, a rapper, was able to express his “bad emotions” with his third studio album called “Some Rap Songs”. It’s an album every one of us should give a listen considering how in-depth he goes with those emotions, and each beat matches the words he’s letting out as he raps. It was a magical way for an artist to release those emotions, and it’s an album I listen heavily to these days.

The mangaka of Black Clover Yuki Tabata whose pretty open about how he feels. He crafted his protagonist, Asta who to anybody who reads the demographic that’s shounen manga, may not seem any different from any shounen protagonist in their respective genre, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. In reality, he crafted his character in a way wishing that he could be like his character. There have been subtle hints of Tabata’s depression in the manga and throughout the backstory of one of his female character’s backstory.

This, of course, doesn’t stop others from being out of hand and giving the creator backlash not knowing how these creators feel behind the scenes giving you content just to make you happy for thirty minutes.

None of these people that I have mentioned have any correlation to each other and have distinctive occupations. They all have one thing in common, and it’s the way they show emotion in their work and how it helps them cope with it.

Vincent Van Goh is thought to have died of self-inflicted harm reasons. That is only speculation from art historians. It’s become the “truth” that people have accepted for countless years for the iconic artist.

Earl Sweatshirt was stuck in an alcoholic addiction, but thankfully he managed to emerge from it and conquered it. In a song on one of his albums “Some Rap Songs” called “The Mint” by Earl Sweatshirt featuring Sage Elsesser he says the following.

“Hit the showers, cleanse my soul, and crash.”

My interpretation from this line is he would come off from being sober hence hit the showers and wipe out the alcohol from his system, and would eventually fall into the same cycle of drinking again, which is why he would “crash”.

Tabata Yuki, on the other hand, gives us a glimpse of what some people might feel deep down. Some of us wish to be more outgoing, confident, or social like others we see. It just isn’t cut out for us no matter how much we try to be like that it would feel as if you aren’t yourself anymore. Just trying to imitate something you aren’t,

I would like to say welcome to my inner thoughts, and welcome to the mind that is…hmmm I guess I can’t say I identify as that name anymore. That name isn’t my name. The world is my domain, and I think I prefer to my identified as Liber.Short for Liberdade which means freedom. The state of being whatever you want to do is marvelous.

“You're caught up in such negative emotions and thoughts Liber. Our goal for this year was to get you out of this mental state, but it’s to no avail. It’s almost like you enjoy being in this state?”

I chuckled.

“I’ve spent the last forty-five minutes talking, and this was the best you could come up with as a response? Every time I come here for a session it appears that instead of going forward I go backward.”

“My apologies if I have said anything to upset you in any way. I’m sure you’re aware of how our sessions go sir. I ask what’s going on in your life, and the two of us talk and elaborate on those emotions of yours. Shall we start again?”

I don’t even know why I bother paying for these therapy sessions and sitting here with this idiot who thinks she can make me calm down with whatever robotic response she has in mind already. She probably said the same thing to countless other people.

Kya Hon
Caprio Suji