Storm Before the Calm

Classes are over. . . I hate this. . . It's so noisy here. . . My head hurts. . . Be quiet. . .

"Oh! This cake is delicious! I wish I could bake something like this."
"hehe Mari-chan is glowing. So cute. It was worth the effort after all."
"Jeez Sakiko, if you stare like that she's going to notice you know?"
"Why don't you just ask her out already? Seriously!"
"Maybe I should ask for the recipe? Aaargh But I don't know anything about baking."
"Oh gosh. . . She saw me staring. So embarrassing. . ."
"Ah. She noticed. I knew that would happen."
"Don't just turn away! Say something!"
"Maybe she could teach me. Wait. . . She looks upset. Did I say something bad?"
"Say something! Say something! This is awkward!"
"hehe 'Forbidden love'. So cute."

Stupid gossip. . . Just shut up already. . . I don't want to hear it. . .

"I should go shopping. Summer break is coming. I could use some new clothes for the warmer weather."
"I should go to the library. I don't want supplementary classes."
"Maybe I should invite Riri to come shopping with me?"
"Maybe I should ask Tomoe to help me study?"
"We haven't hung out in a while and I could use a second opinion."
"Wouldn't I be bothering her though? Maybe she's busy today."
"Oooo and we could go to that new tea shop that opened up near the station!"
"It'd be nice to hang out over summer without having to worry about classes though."
"Okay. I'm going to ask. I could even help her study afterwards."
"Okay. I'm going to ask. Maybe we could go shopping afterwards."

Now there's even more of them. . . Why are you even talking to yourselves? Go talk to each other! So confusing. . . **throb**

"I wonder if Hiro is busy today? Maybe I should text him."
"Yuu is spacing out again. Must be thinking about Hiro-kun. Must be nice to be in love."
"Yuu-chan keeps staring at her phone. . . Waiting for a text from your boyfriend?"

"The newest volume of Love So Pure is out today. I need to get it!"
"What do you see in that anyways? Manga is for children! I don't get it!"

"Can school just be over already? I want to go home. . ."
"You look tired, Kanachi. . . Maybe it's the heat. It is getting warmer."

Make it. . . **throb**

"The track meet is coming soon. I need to get all the practice I can."

"Dai-senpai didn't notice my new hairstyle at all. . . Why are guys so dense?"

"uuugh. . . I don't want to visit my stepmom's family over summer break. . ."

"Why did I have to forget my bento this morning? This sucks. . . I'm hungry. . ."

"This dress is so cute! But so expensive. . . Maybe I should try to get a part-time job?"

"This is so embarrassing. . . I just want to disappear!"

"When am I ever going to need trigonometry in real life anyways?!?"

"Murata-sensei is retiring. . . Maybe the next teacher will be a hot young guy? Yes, please!"

Stop. . . **throb**

". . . need to try harder. . ."

"How did I even. . ."

". . . and then we went. . ."

". . . have just a little. . ."

". . . she'd never do that."

"Who was the one. . ."

". . . can't be. . ."

". . . so glad. . ."

". . . But I want. . ."

". . . no good. . ."

"It's not like. . ."

". . . go home."

". . . how to. . ."

". . . right?"

MAKE IT STOP!!! **thud**

"Sensei! Sensei! Wakabayashi-san! She. . .!"

"Kurata-san is on the health committee, right? Where is she?"

"She just came back from the cafeteria!"

"Calm down everyone! Kurata-san, get Wakabayashi-san to the infirmary."

"Yes sensei!"

"Oh god that was so scary. . ."

"It's okay, you're going to be okay."

"I'll give you a hand carrying her! She's heavier than she looks!"

_________________________

I awoke to a familiar sight. The curtains of the infirmary window were gently blowing and dyed orange within the soft light of a cool evening breeze. How many times has it been now? I can't even remember when I stopped counting. I don't think Suzuki-sensei, the school nurse, is here. I don't see anyone for that matter. It's only a small room. Even with the bed curtain half drawn like this I can tell. There's no one else here. Quiet. Peaceful. The wind feels nice. I'll just rest here a little while longer.

As if to spite me it was at this moment the door opened and I could hear the soft footsteps of who could only be Suzuki-sensei approaching me. She stopped briefly and I could hear the shuffling of papers at her desk. Yep. It's her. Then she drew back the curtain.

"Ah. Sleeping beauty is finally awake."

I turned away, my face slightly flushed. So embarrassing. As if I could ever be a princess. She's doing this on purpose. Fine, then. . . "If that's what you think you could have tried to kiss me to wake me up." I said flatly.

She chuckled, "What makes you think I didn't?"

I turned around swiftly and glared at her with my cheeks still rosy. She was young, tall and attractive with long silky black hair and a kind, gentle face. A real Japanese beauty. She was also a huge tease. . . Several girls have confessed to her. She rejected them all for obvious reasons. You would think that would be enough to make her stop her flirtations, but she seems to get a kick out of it. I am not one of those girls, though. I have no interest in people at all and most certainly not in that way. But it's still embarrassing to be teased by a beautiful woman like this.

"That was a joke." She sighed, stepping forward to check my temperature. "Well if you're this energetic then I guess it's okay for you to head home. Your mother is on her way to get you anyway so just relax until she gets here."

". . . Thanks."

"I'm not sure if you're lucky or cursed. A few more minutes and you would have been on your way home." Suddenly a concerned expression creeped across her face. Ah. Don't look at me like that. I already know what you're going to say.

"No I don't want to go to the hospital. There's nothing they can do anyway."

"How can you be sure, have you. . ."

I cut her off. "Because they've already examined me. Too many times. I'm not sick. I'm 'normal'."

She turned away troubled, unsure what to say. There really isn't anything to say is there? I know she is concerned about me. Everyone who has examined me is. But when all the tests come up negative, then what else is there to do? I really don't want to get examined again just to be told one more time that nothing is wrong with me and it's all in my head. And, "Have you considered counseling?" Please. Spare me from that tiresome conversation.

But still. . . I was rude. . . "I'm sorry Suzuki-sensei. . ." She turned towards me again. "I didn't mean to be disrespectful."

She shook her head. "No it's fine. I know it must be frustrating for you. I know you're not angry with me."

"Yeah. . ."

An all too familiar knock on the door mercifully broke up the awkward atmosphere. "Ah. Your mother must be here! Come in!"

I slowly sat up as she went to go greet my mother, drawing the curtains behind her as she went. I was still in my uniform and I just noticed that I was feeling a bit sticky. I guess that's what you would expect sleeping under a blanket in this kind of weather, even one as thin as this. Summer break is just two weeks away after all. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but I really didn't need to. I knew.

I wasn't feeling tired or dizzy or anything but I took care standing up just to be safe. Looks like I'm okay. I picked up my school bag and pulled back the curtain. "I'm okay now. Sorry for making you worry."

My mother came up to me and gently hugged me, stroking my hair.

"Mom. . . This is embarrassing. . . Please stop."

"Sorry." She reluctantly released me. "Is she okay to go home, sensei?"

Suzuki-sensei was quietly glancing over her notes. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. There's nothing more I can do. Make sure she gets plenty of fluids and a good nights sleep. If she's not better in the morning I'd strongly recommend a hospital visit. . ." She quickly shot me a glance in time to see the daggers I was attempting to pierce her with with my eyes. "but otherwise she seems fine."

"Thank you, Suzuki-sensei. Come on, Ichika, let's get you home."

I bowed slightly as I passed by Suzuki-sensei. "Again, sorry for the trouble."

"Don't worry about it, just get some rest."

"Yeah. . ."

The rest of the day was uneventful. This wasn't the first time this has happened and it won't be the last either. My mother and I have gotten into the habit of just not talking about it whenever I have one of my episodes. We'll just happily chat about other things and try to pretend that nothing ever happened. I know it bothers her though. Obviously. Her only child seems to collapse at random and no one can figure out why. It's hard on her. She must be terrified. I'm sorry Mom. . . But if this is helping even a little to distract her from reality then I will oblige her. It's not like I can tell her the truth anyway. . .

_________________________

The next day. I'm not looking forward to this. . . I can feel the eyes on me before I even pass the gate. . .

"There she is. Wakabayashi-san."
"She collapsed again yesterday, didn't she?"
"Poor girl. . . Maybe she should have stayed home today. . ."
"I don't want to see anything like that again. . ."

Please stop. . .

"I heard she was in the hospital. . ."
"Is she really okay to go to school?"
"How many times has it been now?"
". . . . . . . ."
"Should I say something to her? Would I just be a bother?"

Just let me have some semblance of peace. . . I beg you. . . Wait. . . What was that? Something feels off. . . Forget it. Block it out! Block it out! Go to class!

I hurriedly walked to the classroom, trying my best to ignore the attention. I hate this. Am I going to have to put up with this all day?

The short answer was "yes". . .

"She looks like nothing ever happened."
"Is she even sick? Could she be faking it?"

Come on guys, class just started. Focus on the lessons, not me! It's only going to be worse during breaks. . . I wish I stayed home. . .

Lunch time came and I hid in my usual corner on the roof. No one ever bothers to approach me even if they are concerned about me. So I can usually sneak up to the roof unnoticed. This is all by design. I have intentionally made myself unapproachable. If I act like a delinquent people will be less likely to speak to me. So that's exactly what I did. I created this mask for myself to keep people away.

I'm not even sure if anyone knows if I'm here right now. Behind the entrance way. It's pretty secluded. Even when others do come to the roof they don't come here. Why would they? It's small and the ledge is barely big enough to sit on. But I like this spot. It's quiet. Peaceful. Or at least it usually is.

**click**

That would be the sound of the door latch. Someone is coming. The weather is nice again today so I suspected I might not be alone on the roof for long. But I'm alone here. They won't come here. And seeing how they don't know I'm here then maybe I at least won't have to hear about me. I guess I should count my blessings, no matter how small they may be.

The chatter of my cheerful schoolmates quickly filled the air. One. Two. Three. . . Four? I think there are Four of them. This is going to be a noisy lunch. . . Great. . .

"ugh. . . It's Friday. Just let the day be over already!"
"I can't wait until after class. We haven't gone for karaoke in ages."
"I'll have to make it up to my boyfriend tomorrow, I can't say no to you guys now."
". . . . . . . ."
"Maybe I'll order that new cheesecake! I haven't tried it yet."
"I am so going to sing my lungs out today."
"Maybe we could all go together during summer vacation?"
". . . . . . . ."
"But the crepe stand across the road. . . Aaargh this is why I've never tried it yet!"
"What's Maki getting so upset about?"
"Yeah I could never invite him to join this group. . ."
". . . . . . . ."

So noisy. . . Wait. . . There's that feeling again. . . Something's off. I can't quite put my finger on it. Forget it! Just focus on enjoying your lunch, ignore them. Why can't I just eat my lunch in peace? Is that too much to ask?!? Well at least it's not about me. . .

"Oh yeah, I wonder how Wakabayashi-san is doing. . ."

God damn it all!!!

"It's been a while since she last collapsed like that. It caught me off guard."
". . . . . . . ."
"I hope she's okay. . . She couldn't be faking it, right?"
"It's so scary to watch. . . She wouldn't fake something like that. . ."
". . . . . . . ."

I take a quick peek around the corner of my perfect hiding place. I don't think they can see me from there. There's a tree between us and it looks like they're facing the other way. . . Okay. . .

I pack up my half eaten lunch and quietly sneak around to the entrance. The door was left ajar. Lucky me. No noisy latch. I slowly pry the door open, watching the 4 of them the whole time. I don't think it made any noise. I turn away just long enough to slip through and shut the door behind me.

**click**

Oops.

"Huh? Was someone there?"
"It couldn't have been Wakabayashi could it?"
". . . . . . . ."
"Awkward. . ."
"Maybe the wind just blew it shut?"
". . . . . . . ."
"Just forget about it."
"Wait. . . Wasn't one of the school mysteries about a ghost in the stairwell?!?"
"This is really creepy. . . Maybe we should go. . ."

They noticed. . .

I sprinted halfway down the stairs but slowed myself to a brisk walk once I realized I was running. I really didn't want to get yelled at by a hall monitor. They couldn't follow me that fast from the bench anyway. I'm safe. I'm safe. Let them just think it was a ghost. . . So much for my quiet, peaceful lunch. . .

The rest of the day went by surprisingly quickly and the chatter about me eventually died down. I had just finished packing my bag and was getting ready to leave when the girl next to me suddenly stopped me.

"Um. . . Wakabayashi-san?"

Just leave me alone. . . I glared at her with all the contempt I could possibly muster. This place is so noisy, let me go home already. . .

"What?" I could hardly be ruder if I tried.

"Ah. . . I. . . I'm sorry. . ." She looked like she was about to cry. Poor girl. "It's just that. . . You're on cleaning duty today. . . And you looked like you were getting ready to leave. . . So. . ."

Crap. I forgot. . . I'm on cleaning duty today. "Oh. . . Right." I put my bag back down and turned abruptly from my classmate, ignoring her completely. I headed for the cleaning locker in the corner of the room. It was pretty much right behind me. There was only one desk between me and the locker.

"U. . . um. . ." This girl. . . For someone who looked like she was going to cry a minute ago she's awfully bold. "A. . . about yesterday. . ."

"What about it?" I coldly replied.

"Oh. . . nothing. Nevermind. . ."

"Will do."

The classroom was almost empty by now and she sheepishly began to slink away. Before she even got halfway, though, she quickly spun around and almost shouted back at me. "I. . . I hope you feel better soon!" Realizing that all of the girls that were left in the room were now staring at her, me included, her face turned a deep shade of crimson. She quickly covered her face with her slender fingers and bolted towards the door. "E. . . excuse me!"

"Whatever. . ." I shrugged.

I was assaulted with the usual gossip as I began removing the cleaning supplies from the locker.

"Wow that was embarrassing."
"Who was that anyway?"
"Wasn't that Kisaichi-san? I don't know if I've ever heard her speak before. And to 'Lone Wolf' Wakabayashi?"
". . . . . . . ."
"That was awkward. . ."
"Poor girl. . ."

Just shut up and go home already. . . School's over! Leave! Shoo!

I silently started sweeping around my corner of the room. The voices quickly started to fade away until silence finally descended upon me. Alone at last. Just me and a broom. I like this. Quiet. Peaceful.

". . . . . . . ."

Wait. . . Alone? Shouldn't there be someone else helping me? I turned around confused. And there stood one of my classmates. Tsutsumi-san? Yes. Yasuna Tsutsumi-san. I don't think I've ever been on cleaning duty with her before. Actually, this is the first time I've ever been alone with her at all. I've never spoken with this girl before in my life and she's only two seats over from me.

". . . . . . . ."

She looked at me confused. A little afraid. Well she's alone with me of all people and I am kind of ogling her so that's to be expected.

"Um. . . Wakabayashi-san?" She spoke with a soft and gentle voice that I was hearing for the very first time. My eyes grew wide and I was literally at a loss for words.

". . . . . . . ."

"Are. . . Are you okay? You're staring at me. . ."

"You. . ."

"Yes?"

"I can't hear you."

A moment of complete silence.

"Huh?"

All at once I understood what was bothering me all day. That's why I was feeling off. . . It was her! Yasuna Tsutsumi! I can't hear her thoughts!