After Pride

“—a cool guy!”

Chinatsu was the creepiest person of them all, not because of their stalking, but because of her unpredictability.

Words are one thing, but they can mean another thing, and then another thing. If one word means something else other than the truth, then it’s deception——white lies, black lies, grey lies. One may call their lie for one’s or oneself’s good, but, it’s still a lie. There shouldn’t be an ‘in-between.’

I was conscious of my own words if they were a lie or not. I knew when to speak the truth and when to lie. And I’ve observed, when it was a lie, then I had an ulterior motive.

But then, the truth can be distorted and used without context, misleading from its intended purpose. Smart people know lies never stand, so they use truths, not half-truths——such are pathetic lies that will soon show the cracks in their integrity. So, using truth in a manner adjusted to their desired results is the method smart people always use.

And one of them was in front of me. She was complimenting—flattering me to achieve an objective. Because I failed to guess what it was, I felt defeated, but I wasn’t defeated yet; it was only a feeling.

Chinatsu smiled brightly and charmingly, “I like you!”

Somehow, those words warmed my heart.

Usually, I only used the word ‘like’ on things, not people. It was weird to see someone tell someone else they liked them. It felt pretentious and unmannered, even though I’ve seen it as normality.

So, what she meant was, ‘I’m pleased with you;’ that was better put.

“So, I want to talk to you more!” she said, still keeping her warm smile.

What she meant was, ‘I want to know who you are.’

“You must be special! I mean, you must be very smart since you were admitted to this school.”

What she meant was, ‘You’re an anomaly. There must be something behind your admission to this academy.’

“And you look handsomely mature too! Your fashion might be simple, but there is beauty in minimalism!”

What she meant was, ‘You look mediocre. Your fashion is plain and unattractive; it’s behind the times.’

Then, she stood up, leaning nearer to me. Our faces almost met. “If I look closely, you are indeed handsome!”

Even after eating, her breath smelled fresh as mints.

But, her short hair overcame every scent, disabling me to smell the food. Her hair danced over my face, and I jerked backward.

What she meant was, ‘I have to look closely to convince myself—’

Chinatsu came even closer——dangerously closer. She was practically lying on the table full of—

“If we style your hair like this,” she ruffled my hair. “And style your hoodie like—”.

There was something wrong… with her and me.

I didn’t understand this feeling. My face was hard. My cheeks were heavy. My eyes were wide. I couldn’t move away. I couldn’t look away. My eyes traced her from the top down. I breathed rapidly. I squirmed inconspicuously.

Was this how it felt like being ensnared by one’s allure?

Or maybe, this was the clairvoyance of upcoming danger.

Indeed, her ‘wrong’ was more important; Suddenly, she lost balance and crashed into the table full of food.

“Ah!” She quickly returned to her seat to inspect the damage. “Oh my dress!” she lamented.

I felt responsible. Maybe if I hadn’t frozen up, I could have saved her in time. My common sense went aloof and rested somewhere.

But, my common sense returned to me, and I handed her my clean napkin and the service tissues to her. “Do you have a coat?”

She shook her head, and I took off my hoodie and gave it to her. “Here.”

“T—thank you,” this time, she smiled weakly. “I’m sorry for causing trouble. I’ll return this washed!” She spoke quickly and nervously.

“You don’t need to.” Though, she’ll probably let the maids wash it. “You should head back and change.”

“Ah, yes! Sorry again! I’m just so clumsy! Sorry for that.” She bowed and left, still wearing that gleeful demeanor.

Sorry counter: three. She seemed to be that type of person——an airhead, but that deduction may be incorrect. There was something mismatched after all.

The waiters were a little too late when they arrived at the scene. They concernedly asked about her.

“She’s fine. I took care of it.” I said then called for the bill and examined it.

Though I was going to pay it, I wished for an opportunity to make her carry the burden of the bill. Good thing I ordered in advance so that she was forced to eat what was prepared. If I hadn’t done so, I would be forced in courtesy to say, ‘Order anything you want; I’ll pay for it,’ and I wouldn’t be able to make her pay or to lessen the order.

I thought about browsing through random stores in the mall. There had been things that opened my eyes and interested me——such a feeling I haven’t experienced before. I rarely looked up and stared at a thing I liked, and even if I did so, I knew I would never get it.

And I still wouldn’t have it, except the food——the food was good. I was still as poor as yesterday. My allowance still came in monthly fragments given by my mom’s fruit of hard work; that’s something I didn’t want to waste. I resolved to spend it only when most necessary.

And my last supper was the most necessary.

But, what was wrong about ‘feasting your eyes’? So, I decided to stroll through the large department store first, but—

“You guys ready?” Takeuchi laughed as he passed from a distance. I quickly hid behind a pillar. “We should get some things first, like knives!”

—the situation has changed. I wasn’t in the mood of being disturbed by playing hide-and-seek while window-shopping.

It was a shame. Suppose I should visit some other time—when there was such.

With a sigh, I tapped my ID card on my doorknob, and the lock clicked. Then, a door a few rooms away from mine opened. The one who appeared was—

“What’s your disappointment this time?” Miyazono mocked my sad face.

“It’s not a disappointment, but rather a…” I contemplated for a bit. “A disappointment,” I clicked my tongue. “You’re right.”

While I opened the door and started to enter, she quickly approached me.

“And what’s that?”

“What do you mean ‘what’s that?’”

“The disappointment; what made you disappointed today?”

There was no way I would tell her the true reason, so I said, “Takeuchi was in the mall when I wanted to roam around.”

“It’s just Takeuchi.”

Excuse me? ‘Just Takeuchi?’ Would you like to experience the pain he caused me? You lucky girl, if I hadn’t had manners, I would have passed to you my experience.

Resting on the doorknob, I placed my other hand into my pocket.

“I know you’re planning something,” she said.

“It would be more accurate to say, ‘I was planning something.’”

“I know what you’re capable of.”

Her words shook me. What did she mean? Just like Chinatsu, did Miyazono have delusions about me?

I’ve failed to clear up the misunderstanding of Chinatsu, but I shouldn’t fail now. I had all the chances.

“I know you’re predicting me say, ‘What do you mean?’ But, I just had a similar encounter with a different person.”

“There’s another person?”

“Another person?”

“It’s a rhetorical question—no, just ignore it. Now, answer me.”

“You didn’t ask me anything.”

“I asked what you’re planning.”

“When did you ask that?”

“You forgot? I just asked you that earlier! How can a perfect-grader like you have a short memory?’

I genuinely didn’t remember when she asked that question, but I was not in the mood to argue.

“You know, I’m tired. As you know, this day’s disappointing for me, and as you said, there’s always tomorrow. So, I’d like to sleep and wake up the next day.”

“You know,” she mocked my accent, “This isn’t about you.”

In what world was this not about me? I was getting too grumpy to further argue, so I just asked my final question for the day, “You still don’t trust me, don’t you?”

She stopped as she glared at me. Why was she even glaring at me? I didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t look threatening though. It was comical even——a woman a little shorter than I was looking up at me with a scowl. She looked like a pouting child.

That thought was only to alleviate the tension of the situation, as I waited for her response.

“It doesn’t seem like I’m the only one.”

“Ex—” No, that was the final question of the day. My mind has run a marathon, jumping over obstacles. “Fine, tell you what, let’s have lunch at eleven.”

“That’s an early lunch.”

When she said that, I started to enter my room and close the door.

“Hey! Wait! I didn’t accept your invite yet!”

“If you’re not coming, then don’t come.”

“He—!” her voice was cut off by the marvelous soundproof door.

I couldn’t hear any banging against the door, but even if she did, I wouldn’t feel nor hear it. That was how marvelous the door was.

But I guessed she wasn’t planning to since she didn’t ring the bell.

I took off my shoes and took my purchase with me to the couch.

I wore the new shoes and experimented with them.

The shoes were quite good, but I was no shoe connoisseur, but it was undoubtedly better than my current ones. I wanted to keep it rather than wear it.

It was a weird habit of mine to use the worse and keep the best, but maybe that was my ingrained mindset.

Then, I remembered the dance I performed. I remembered the grueling steps that required complex footwork, including that one part where we tiptoed around each other.

Unconsciously, I tiptoed, remembering the rhythm and melody of the song. I felt the great comfort the shoes provided. Though it wasn’t designed for dancing, the shoe provided a soft cushioning for my toes.

It was just perfect. This was just perfect. All else would go smoothly with these shoes, like walking and running.

And I wanted to share my discovery with someone, so I pulled out my phone and texted, ‘I use my powers.’