Capsaicin Catering

David listened intently as Morgan talked about the first two levels of Hell. It seemed like a bad idea to put one's economy as a frontline defense from the forces of Heaven. However, it was explained to him that the Greed demons' desire for their Sin is so great, nothing could break it. Their Sins refined to the point that the Vault Door to Hell was powerful to God’s strongest attack.

It was a frightening concept for the human, but the next ring made him feel more uncomfortable. Apparently, the residue of the refined Sin, known as Vice, was pumped down to the next floor and converted into food to keep demons satisfied and strong. This explained the rivers of orange-colored sludge with the apparent consistency of melted flesh that slowly moved beside the fast-moving train.

“So wait…” David rubbed his forehead. “You eat that stuff? It looks like just pure fat! How can you eat it?”

Morgan kept her composed expression as she sipped some tea. “You would be amazed what Gluttonous magic can do with just one wad. Still, I would be careful for a human to eat it. Normally, it could cause some… Unfortunate side effects.”

I can imagine… David thought. And something tells me that that’s my challenge in this place.

The next ring wasn’t much of an odd sight as the other one, a city with rivers of Vice flowing around them. However, it was not as odd as the smell. There was a mix of smells that felt like he was smelling every single one of his favorite foods at once. However, before he could really savor it, Morgan snapped her magic-laced fingers. All of a sudden, David was wearing some sort of gas mask.

“Best not breath the air either honey,” Morgan said as she donned her own. Soon, they arrived at the station and slipped out of the train. The demons matched the gluttonous nature: Portly and hungry-looking. They had a sort of swine appearance, with pig noses, ears, and their long demon tails curled into a coil. The way they particularly looked at David with razor-sharp teeth made him nervous.

Not wanting to have his flesh fall off the bone, he quickly began looking around. “Where… Where is this next cousin of yours?”

Sebastian motioned to have them follow, soon arriving outside a limousine where another imp awaited. This one was quite chubby, but with some muscle to her. However, this did not stop her from having an appearance similar to a swine like the others. Sebastian bowed to her, and she bowed in kind.

“Cherry, it has been too long. How is your Mistress?”

Cherry smiled. “She is quite busy, hence why she had me come and pick you up. I believe you spoke with Penny?”

He nodded as he opened the limo’s door for his masters. “Indeed. I had to divert in order to find her. She is so insistent on putting work before family.”

“As always, brother.” She chuckled and slipped into the front with him. They drove the car off the road and into the Vice river, where it became a large boat.

As they drove through the sludge, David moved up to the two imps. “Wait, you and this imp are siblings?”

“Indeed, Master Moreno,” Sebastian gave a nod. “The entirety of my family have served the Lords of Hell for generations, but my siblings and I were lucky enough to be given the opportunity to serve as the personal servants to the new generation.”

“Wild…” He muttered, leaning back next to Morgan. “And so you were gone looking for this Penny sister of yours?”

Sebastian confirmed with a nod. There was so much that David wished her knew about the demon world, but if he was lucky, maybe he would get to learn more. I mean, I’m already locked in this marriage, his mind muttered to itself. The least I could do is understand it more like Morgan has with mine.

When they reached the eventual center of the ring, they found a large lake of Vice with a large structure in the center. It resembled a 13-layer cake with large grates on the first layer that sucked in the Vice from the lake. Every so often, the vents would open, unleashing a number of ships out towards the ring’s cities. As one of the vents opened, the limo boat slipped in and headed through a dark corridor.

At the center of it all was a large dock, where several shipping freighters docked. Once it was stocked with boxes, it headed out, only to be replaced by another ship. The imps drove the ship up a ramp, where the limousine reconstituted into its original land vehicle form. They soon arrived at the source of these crates: a massive freight elevator. Nothing special, save for its immense size. Once it opened to release some more cargo, the four slipped inside.

Cherry slipped a key into a hidden hole before hitting the top button. The elevator made a slow rise upward. There, David witnessed floor after floor of manufacturing, packaging, and shipping for all sorts of food and drink. David wished he could smell what the food was like, but he knew that giving in to those vices could spell disaster for him. Not that he knew what it was, but he was familiar enough with the seven deadly sins to assume what it was.

When they arrived at the top, they found themselves in what could only be described as a test kitchen from Hell. The area was adorned with the latest pieces of cooking technology that David only knew from internet videos. The only difference was it all looked to be Hell and demon themed. It had to have been worth a fortune, showing not only the success of the ring but also its necessity in demon society.

At the center of it all lay a demon who towered over the rest of them, not only in height but in girth as well. Her skin was tinged orange with long locks of ginger hair going down her back. She donned a black-and-orange chef’s outfit, complete with a hat, and hummed as she stirred a large pot of sauce. With a sip and a hum, she looked over at what seemed to be a human that was more mouth and stomach than man.

“Tarrare, hun. How does this taste?” She opened the creature’s mouth and shoved a spoonful. In an instant, the man’s eyes bulged wide as fire spewed from his mouth. He danced in place and babbled incoherently before passing out. The demon checked a watch.

“Hmmm… It needs more Soul Chilis.” As she grabbed a jar from the shelf, she turned to see the group. She gasped in surprise, then began to laugh. “Cherry, you should have mentioned our guests were here!”

“Apologies, Mistress Ambrosia,” She bowed her head. “I did not want to disturb you while you were in the zone.”

“Oh, nonsense. I was simply preparing my latest creation.” She turned to face David with a big smile. “And you must be David! My name is Ambrosia, Demon Lord of Gluttony~” She gave a little pose, presenting her workstation. “I make sure Hell stays fed~! I’ve heard quite a bit about you! Your parents really were naughty people~”

David’s eyes widened. “How did you-?”

“Oh, honey…” She turned and began using magic on some Vice. “Hell is full of gossip. The moment they were sent here, their sins were put out there for all to see. Frankly, parents like that sicken me.” She performed a few tricks, from rolling the vice in some sort of dust, then molding it in her hands. Finally, she dropped the vice into a deep fryer basket and lowered it in.

“But here, many of us have sympathy for you. We think Hell would be your best choice~” As the Vice cooked, she turned to Morgan. “And Morgie…”

“It’s Morgan.”

“Oh, don’t be a stinker. Morgie is way more fun. Anyways, I did want to say… Hey, at least I’m not last.” The two looked at each other for a while before they both burst into laughter.

David was immensely confused as he watched his wife pal around with what he thought was someone who would hate him. He looked at Sebastian, who kindly informed him. “Ah, yes. The two were fast friends growing up. They never intended to hold grudges against each other, even after this.”

“I see…” He nodded, noticing a box nearby. Picking it up, he carefully read the box. “Granny Tomo’s Tough Cling Film, Max Strength… Keeps any heat from escaping…” He looked around for a moment before walking off.

Meanwhile, Ambrosia continued her chat with her old friend. “So, you want my help with the catering, yeah?”

“Of course!” Morgan cheerily said. She bounced a bit on her heels. “You were always such a great cook when we hung out! Why wouldn’t I ask you~?”

Giggling, Ambrosia sighed as she looked back at the deep fryer’s bubbling red oil. “I wish I could just say yes, but your dad was making a lot of threats if we tried making it easy…”

“Oh, that’s so like him,” Morgan crossed her arms indignantly. “He’s always been such a massive tool like that. He lets Angie do what she wants, but I don’t get anything!”

“Ugh, right?” Ambrosia rolled her eyes as she lifted the deep-fried Vice from the oil and into a large bowl along with a large helping of her new sauce. “Your sister has always been an annoying pain in the ass.”

“Well, if this works out, he won’t have any choice in the matter.” Morgan shrugged and watched her cousin toss the wings in the sauce. As they were all coated, they were placed into a large bowl. They sizzled still from the oil, now launching little droplets of sauce everywhere. The sauce would burn tiny holes into any nearby surfaces, and the smell, even to Morgan, was like the sun itself got deep-fried.

“Don’t tell me he has to eat all that…”

Ambrosia nodded. “The whole thing. Where… Where did he-?”

David appeared behind Morgan out of nowhere, nodding silently to the wings. He slapped his hand onto the nearby table, signifying he was ready to eat. All Ambrosia could do was giggle and serve the plate of fried and sauced Vice balls with a fork.

“Alright, tough guy. This here is my latest creation: Boneless Vice Wings. Now, I know the wings aren’t original, but the sauce is. I call it Nine Rings Hellfire Sauce.” She paused for a moment and then looked at them. “It’s a working title. Anyways, all you have to do is eat the plate. And no throwing it up afterward. I heard about your little trick with Bonnie.”

Nodding, David looked at the plate, breathing softly through his nose. He dug his fork into one of them and popped it in his mouth. After a few chews, he swallowed, then continued with the next one. The mortal began to pick up speed, throwing his head back as he swallowed.

Morgan was shocked. How exactly was he doing this? No human could possibly survive such a feat, not to mention that that much Vice, deep-fried in Temptation, he would have lost control by now! Instead, he ate with speed and conviction, going just fast enough that showed he was still in control.

By the end of it, David set down his fork, revealing an empty, but sauce-stained dish. The fact it had not dissolved was a miracle but was likely thanks to the cling film on the dish. He licked all around the inside of his mouth with his mouth closed, then opened his mouth. This revealed that there was nothing there. Not only that, but his mouth was intact. No burnt tongue or melted teeth.

Ambrosia smiled wide, clapping for him. “Wonderful, wonderful! That was an amazing display of eating there!” She smiled wide and flicked a finger back to herself. The gold card in David’s jacket flicked back into her hands, and with a thumb pressed on it, a symbol of an orange pig appeared next to the symbol of the gold toad. “There! Catering is taken care of!”

David nodded and took hold of the card. With a smile, he shook her hand. “Thank you very much for the meal and for being nice to us.” He looked back at Morgan. “Let’s get moving. I don’t want to leave the train waking.

“Oh! R-Right…!” She nodded, her smile returned, but with uncertainty in her voice. She tried to figure out how David could survive that, even as they boarded the elevator. “When they left her sight, Ambrosia sat in a chair and sighed. The seat creaked as she moved about in it, but that wasn’t on her mind.

Cherry hugged her leg. “Is something the matter, Mistress?”

“Huh?” Ambrosia’s gaze fixed on Cherry, making the Demon Lord shake her head. “N-No, just… I’m starting to think that I’ve lost my touch. I mean… I put in the best of my best in there, and it wasn’t good enough! It could have destroyed anything, save for… For…”

The words died in her mouth as a realization came to her. She looked back at the shiny, sauce-covered plate and then smiled.

“Clever man…”

~~~

As the three returned to the station, David nudged the still thinking Morgan. “Give me a sec, I need to throw something out?”

“Huh? Oh, sure.” Morgan nodded, her mind still in a daze. She couldn’t believe what she saw. She was starting to think he may have some kind of demon blood in him.

And then she saw what he was throwing out.

With a shuffle of his tongue, David removed what looked to be some kind of plastic from underneath and then began to pull. His nostrils flared as he pulled more and more, his eyes calm and determined. Soon, he fished out his prize: a bunch of chewed-up chicken wings wrapped up in a long strand of some kind of cling film.

As David threw them out, Morgan burst out laughing. There really were so many ways that he could surprise her, and she loved him for it. David’s mind, meanwhile, was focusing on what ring could be next and just what strategy he would need for it. If he could keep this up, maybe he could get through this whole ordeal.

Thanks, Granny Tomo…

Author’s Note: Dedicated to Doctor Sleepy, one of my best friends, whose birthday was a couple of days ago from today, and to Tomoyuki, my most dedicated reader. May your grandmother rest in peace.