A Reunion and Remembrance

Haze…Haze… White hair, violet eyes… Where had she known someone like that? The name and face struck a chord within her, somewhere close to her heart, and her arm stung and lungs burned and tears threatened to spill out of her eyes…

Somewhere, right behind that dam, was a river of memories threatening to gush out. Memories that she had locked up tight, because they were too painful to deal with anymore…

“Caius.” Calix’s voice trembled as they were locked behind bars. “Caius, what are you doing here? I tried looking for you, I - ”

“What did they tell you about my death?” Caius remained cool and calm from where he stood outside the cell, his hands folded neatly behind his back.

“They only said that you disappeared in that fire…”

“And so I did.”

Fire…fire… There had been a fire, hadn’t there? The fire where she had lost her arm… When she had sat there, staring up at the burning house, her arm turning into bleeding ashes right by her side…

“Why didn’t you come back for me?”

“I had someone else to take care of.” Caius’s voice was soft. “It’s not that I didn’t want to, but I still had my duties to perform.”

“Didn’t you have me to take care of as well?” Calix’s voice rang throughout the basement as he grabbed hold of the bars, trying to force his way through. “Couldn’t you have spared me a thought? You left me all alone…”

“But I was taking care of you, Calix.” Caius sounded tired, even a bit peeved. “Don’t you know how hard I was working, just so I could make enough money to take care of you? All my time and energy…”

“But you disappeared, and the money stopped coming. Even if you had been sending some money, I would have known that you were still alive, and I wouldn’t have spent so much time or energy looking for you…”

“That was five years ago, Calix. You were what, seventeen? Old enough to be on your own…”

Five years ago… Yes, back when she had first entered the trade, fifteen years old and stupid, not fearing death. But the fire, the fire had reminded her what death truly was…

“It’s not even about the money, Caius.” Calix sounded close to tears. “I needed my brother. R’veno is a cruel world to deal with alone.”

“Well, it looks like you made it.” A hint of a smile lined Caius’s face. “You’re here now, right? Giving your older brother a lecture. As you should be.”

“Tell me, Caius…did you miss me at all?”

Caius’s reply was quiet, near-silent. “Yes. But Haze needed me more.” He turned, and walked a little down, then stopped. “Rei, how are you feeling…after the incident?”

“What happened, Rei? What do you have to do with this man?” Calix glanced at her. “Do you remember? Why do they all know you?”

“Five years ago…” The dam was cracking, drops of water spilling out. “I was tasked with protecting a boy, that boy, Haze… Though he looked different, his eyes and hair were dark, and he was so young and delicate…”

Yes, the memories were all rushing back now.

“There were people after him. Bad people. And he only had Caius and I to take care of him… They set his house ablaze. I tried to reach him through the fire, but the flames ate up my arm, and I passed out with the pain. The next thing I knew, I was lying outside the house, watching everything being destroyed right before my eyes… I lost my client that day. For the first time, I had failed. And so I swore never to fail again, to lose someone because of me…”

Tears were spilling out of her eyes, and she didn’t know why.

“I didn’t realize that they were both still alive. I thought you were dead. How did you survive?”

“Haze’s lungs were severely damaged, and as you can see, he lost an eye.” Caius rolled up his sleeves, revealing a pattern of tattoos on his arms. “My skin was burned, so I covered them up with these flowers… It took a lot of money and time for his recovery. And by the time he had healed, well, I realized that my kid brother had grown up, and that he didn’t need me anymore.” Caius let out a small laugh, perhaps bitter. “I knew that if I came back at that point, he would be as angry as he is now… Haze needed me more, Calix. Surely you understand that.”

“Just because I understand, does that mean I can’t be selfish anymore?” Calix dropped down to the ground, resigned at the stiffness of the bars. “I’m your brother, Caius.”

“And he’s my master, Calix.”

“He wants to destroy the city!”

“Can’t you respect a dying man’s wish?”

“What do you mean, dying?” Rei looked up, but Caius refused to say anymore.

“Anyways, why don’t you two just stay down here? You’ll be safe.”

“I highly doubt that.” Calix’s voice was almost a low growl. “And why should you care now? Seeing how you like Haze so much.”

Caius stiffened, and he seemed to want to say something, but bit back the words. “Someday, you will grow to understand different things.”

“You don’t understand what is important!”

“I understand more now. Perhaps arbitrary, but I understand things that few people know.”

“But what about what is important?”

“I suppose what spending time with Haze taught me…was that important things might be quite nonsensical, and the nonsensical things a Holy Grail.”

“You know…” Calix let out a small laugh. “After seeing where you are today, I can see that. You’ve definitely changed, Caius. Changed for the worse. I can’t believe you’d listen to that kid’s foolish dreams. He can’t even see clearly! What, are you so old now that you must entertain a child’s silly notions to feel youthful again? You’re only twenty-five, and I think you should know better than any of us. But no. You know the least. And I must say that I’m disappointed in you, brother. If I can still call you that.”

Caius stared at him, then turned away, dimly illuminated by the golden glow of the lantern hanging on the wall. A soft fire, unlike the harsh flames from five years ago. A light that didn’t require power…

“I suppose you’re right,” he replied. “But I suppose when someone’s dying, you’re willing to do anything. I’m sure one day you’ll understand.”