First day of school?

Okay, what is going on? I look around profusely, check my phone again, and start freaking out. How did I go back in time? The last thing I remember was…oh yeah it seems very blank and cloudy but I’m sure I was jumping off the rooftop of that hospital? But yet I went back to here? This doesn’t make sense. I see it's barely 6 am so I have time to get ready and look around. I check the manga and the novels I have on my bookshelf and sure enough, I have only the latest ones that came out this year, I check my PC and the date is the same as on my phone. So I guess I really went back huh? There’s the only way one to know, I say as I begin to get dressed for school.

I remember going late or never going to class in the first place…I wonder if all the changes I do will affect the future? I’m sure I saw it in a movie one time, last thing I want to do is fuck things up even worse this time. But Nah, I should be fine.

I get changed and go out of my room and see my parents haven’t woken up yet, damn I haven’t seen them since I dropped out huh? That’s crazy I have to make sure I say sorry to them later… I go to the kitchen and get a protein bar where they usually are and make my way towards the door. As I get there I hear a faint yawn.

“Oh good morning Maxwell, you’re going to class fairly early don't you think?”

“Good morning mom, I am but it's for a good reason I promise.”

“Well if you say so then, be safe and try to come back home tonight…by the way it was nice of you to call me mom again thank you.”

She walks away while I stand there wondering what she meant.

I feel the really cold breeze hitting my face as I’m walking to school, then I start to remember everything that happened back during this time. It was during this summer that I was introduced to drugs and a group of people that ruined my foreseeable future. I can’t put all my blame on them as I did agree to everything. I ended up depressed and broke to the point I attempted twice already. But I'm here now, I can’t make the same mistakes as before there’s just no way.

I’m looking down deep in thought, I didn’t notice someone was walking in front of me and I bump into them.

“Oh my apologies I wasn’t paying attention”

“It’s fine don't worry about…”

I look up to see why she stopped talking? And those anxious eyes remind me a lot of the nurse from the hospital. But no I remember who this is, the one I let get away before.

“Lilly?”

“Hello max, I’m kind of in a hurry so if you don't mind”

She says as she quickly tries to leave to avoid speaking to me, it kind of hurts but I understand, but no this time I can’t just let things be like this.

“Please wait, what’s wrong? You’re acting like I did something? Plus it's still fairly early to be going to class”

She looks away avoiding eye contact, pushing the hair out of her face and quietly just whispering as if trying not to upset me.

“I’m trying to get there early to study, I really want to take this year seriously to graduate on time…and also I’m not mad…just worried.”

I try to give her eye contact to let her know I’m not mad or upset but she doesn’t look up at me, just stares at her shoes the entire time.

“Worried about?”

“I’ve heard things you did over summer break and honestly…I don’t want any part in that, so if you don’t mind?”

She seems very startled so this time she starts to pick up the pace and turns her back to me.

Do I call out to her or just let her walk away while thinking such negative things about me? Well, she’s not wrong, but this isn’t who I want to be anymore, and I won’t let this perfect chance I have go to waste.

“Lily please, I understand but that was during summer, and I don’t associate with those people anymore nor do I want to be involved in those things either anymore…I want to start this new year fresh…it is our last year of high school and I want it to go great.”

She gives me a warm smile, it's been so long since I’ve seen her smile, I really need to learn to cherish it this time.

“Well if you say so then, but I really do have to get to class so I’ll see you at lunch instead okay…just text me so we can meet up then, see you later!”

She waves and continues to go walking but not as fast as before. I let her leave, I already annoyed her enough and she did say she will see me at lunch so that’s good enough for me.

I continue walking as well but not towards school, instead, I do a small detour and check out my favorite burger spot, just for nostalgia reasons.

That’s when it hit me? I completely forgot about my cellphone! Now that I know everything that went wrong I can prevent things from happening and this time not make the same mistakes, so let's take a look at this.

I start going through my phone and start checking my social media apps, email, and finally my text messages. I notice I haven’t texted Lily for all of summer, I remember why but I try to forget about those things as I look through the old messages, its mostly with the friend group I hung out with during that summer and the ones who took me down the wrong path and ruined my last year of high school.

I am to blame as well but still, I read through the text messages with Adam, Brandon, and Curtis…I can call them friends A, B, and C for obvious reasons. As I look at all the messages it brings me back to the things we did, and since I know how this year will play out I’ll make sure not to let it happen. I see that I was supposed to meet them up this morning at 7 am at the burger spot I was heading to so we can discuss what mischief we were going to cause on the first day, I check the time, and it's already 7:15, so I stop walking and immediately turn around and head to school, I’ll get there early but that’s fine, better than starting off the first day on the wrong foot.

As I get closer I can hear lots of kids in groups and everyone talking to themselves and whatnot, I pay it no mind and walk towards the homeroom class, I don't even pay attention to the huge whiteboard in front I already know where it is, even though I never really showed up.

Room 3-A, I go upstairs and take a deep breath before I open the door and go in, this time I’m going to try and change the future and make this worth living…I hope this doesn’t alter things too much? As I have these thoughts I see people start muttering about me from behind. “Isn’t that the kid who was doing hard drugs during the summer?” “Really? I heard he was also robbing people and almost got arrested”. I take a step back and go to the bathroom, my head is throbbing, and I feel so anxious and I start throwing up in the sink.

How did they even recognize me? I look up at the mirror while I rinse and wash my face and I forgot. I shaved my head bald during the summer as some sort of way to show off how “hardcore” I was. Plus I didn’t even bring my backpack. So I stand out a lot, I'm such an idiot how did I forget that it's been so long without me wearing one I forgot about those things, but it's fine I will bring up the courage to go into class, I got it this time.

After the short pep talk I gave myself, I stand up straight slapped myself a little, and start to exit the bathroom to go to class. But I did notice my phone just kept vibrating earlier so I decided to check it out before I go into class, last thing I need is to be called out by my teacher for not paying attention.

*3 missed calls* *10 text messages*.

I look at the calls, one each from my “friends” A, B & C. 3 text messages each by them as well, I only have one text message from an unsaved number? Wonder who that could be, I’ll give it a look after homeroom. I decide to read the messages. In short, they all say that they have been waiting for me there and why did I flake when I was the one who told them to meet up there? I completely forgot that I asked, but whatever I told myself I will not do the same shit all over again. I ignore the messages and finally open the door to get into class.

As soon I open the door I walk in and everyone's eyes look at me but I don't care about those I focus on one pair of eyes that clearly look so scared looking right at me and clearly looking at the verge of tears, as I look around her I see she’s being surrounded by three guys whom I remember all too well.

Adam stops touching her hair and looks at me with an awful grin.

“Where were you, Max? We thought you flaked so we decided to just come and start a little early if you don't mind?.”