I killed our relationship

The next morning, I decided to take a stroll at the park with Aoi. It was still early, the air was warm from the geothermal heaters installed underground, and the grass was decorated with dewdrops. We spotted two of the new recruits from yesterday walking our way, they were holding hands.

“Hey! Nagisa! Rose!” Aoi and I both thumped our chests twice.

“おはようございます!” (Good morning!) They thumped their chests back, then ran towards us.

“How’s it going you two?” Asked Aoi.

“We’re just taking a stroll before breakfast time” Replied Nagisa.

“Ah same here, is she your girlfriend?” I asked while staring at Rose. Nagisa blushed.

“Y-Yeah, I asked her out yesterday so… is this ok?” He said sheepishly.

“No, it’s more than fine,” Said Aoi with a smile.

“Are you two also together?” Asked Rose.

Both Aoi and I blushed hard. Suddenly, Aoi turned around, letting go of me. Since I only have one crutch, I couldn’t balance on my own and fell.

“Well, no we aren’t, I was just… taking care of the boss…” Said Aoi.

“Oh, but I feel like your feelings for each other are mutual” Said Rose with a smile.

“むり!むり!むり!” (That’s impossible!!!) Shouted Aoi as she waved her hands to dismiss the thought.

“OI! Somebody help me up!” I shouted, I was still on the ground, and my clothes were getting wet from the dew… I looked like I had wet myself.

Everyone bursted from laughter…Whelp there goes the respect I had earned from the new recruits. As Aoi helped me up, Nagisa proceeded to tell me and Aoi something.

“Boss, if you’re single then you better watch out for iota, she has fallen for you hard.”

I noticed Aoi had clenched her fist, and tightened her grip on my arm.

いたい！ (ouch!)

“Oh, sorry!” Said Aoi as she loosened her grip.

We kept on walking. The many trees were filled with birds and squirrels flying and scampering around. It reminds me of how lively the cafeteria and main lobby can get. Up ahead, there was a field that was covered in a yellow blanket of dandelions, and standing in the middle was a girl with pink hair, along with a boy with black hair.

Aoi and I walked onto the dandelion field, the many flowers felt like a soft carpet. Suddenly, the pink haired girl spotted us, and started running towards us. We pounded our chest in greeting, however, before I can pound my chest twice, iota leapt and tackled me to the ground.

“Hiya Gray!” She said as she nuzzled against my chest.

“Too close! Too close!” I said as I pushed her off.

“Hey! This is your boss here! You shouldn’t treat him like this! Plus, he’s injured!” Said Aoi as she helped me up.

“I’m fine I’m fine, it’d take more than that to hurt me.” I reassured her as I stood up. Meanwhile, iota stuck her tongue out at Aoi. Were highschool girls usually this scary?!

“Gray! I want to be useful to the mafia! Can you teach me? Please please please??!” She said as she pulled me off of Aoi. Aoi was about to pull me back, however, I reached out my hand to stop her.

“Oh, so what would you like to learn?” I said as I leaned against iota. We walked off together in the dandelion field.

“I want to learn enough to become a GrayWolf executive!” Declared iota.

My eyes widened and I spaced out for a second. I roared with laughter, I couldn’t control myself. I let go of iota and flopped onto the ground, my belly heaving up and down from it while my chest felt like it was about to burst.

“You can’t be serious?! You as a GrayWolf executive?!”

“Whatt?! I’m just like a sponge! I will soak up whatever you teach me!” Said Iota as she puffed up her cheeks while squatting down beside me. I took my index fingers and squished the air out of her mouth.

Pop!

“W-what!” Stammered iota as she backed away a bit, her face was flushed.

“You’re cute, I give you that. But I would never see you as more than just a kid.” I told her as I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Well, if you really aren’t dating with Aoi, that means you’re free for me to take! PFFTTT!” She raspberries me.

“W-well! I’m a mature adult! You don’t understand how adult relationships work!” I said as I started getting flustered as well.

“I understand it well enough to know how chickened you are about it” Snickered iota.

This time, I puffed my cheeks up and gave her my alpha wolf stare. However, Iota also puffed her cheeks up, and steeled her emerald green eyes as she stared back at me.

じいいいいいいいいいいいい (stareeeeeeeeeeee)

Then both of us leaned forward. I felt my fingers sink into her cheeks, while her fingers sank into mine.

Pop! Pop!

We both fell back down laughing.

I felt a cool breeze blowing from behind us. Then, another cool breeze. I turned my head around to see Aoi and Hiro standing in a swirling blizzard. Well, not really, but that’s how it felt.

“Is it me, or did it just drop a few degrees here?” Said iota as she shivered a little.

“I think lets get back to them, the breakfast bell should be ringing soon, we don’t wanna be late.” I said as iota helped me up.

My hands were suddenly wet. A drop fell on it, then another. I looked and saw iota trembling. I dropped my smile and squeezed her hand tight. “It’s alright. Everyone will be here for you, even Aoi. So don’t cry, please.”

“I’m sorry, you remind me of my dad… before he and mom had their fight.” Replied iota. She straightened herself and wiped her tears. We then walked in a somber silence.

Once we got there, the breakfast bell rang. iota handed me back to Aoi, and before she ran off, she turned around and shouted. “AOI! I DECLARE WAR AGAINST YOU! SEE WHO CAN CAPTURE GRAY’S HEART FIRST!” She said as she ran off.

Hiro ran off too, chasing after her. He had both his fists clenched tightly, and he turned around and looked at me with a cold yet burning gaze. “DON’T THINK YOU’VE WON GRAY! I’M NOT THAT EASY TO BE PUSHED OVER!” He shouted as he ran after iota.

“I feel like there is going to be some drama,” I muttered playfully to Aoi. However, she didn’t reply. She just grabbed me and we walked off to the caf together.

While eating, iota and Hiro both sat down across from us. Suddenly, Aoi’s gaze turned ice cold, so did Hiro’s.

“Today’s breakfast looks great!” Exclaimed iota who was ignoring the tension.

“Of course it is” I replied back.

“Do you like potato wedges?” Asked iota as she was dipping her potato wedges into the ranch.

“Yeah I do, but I was a bit late today, they were all gone when I came here.” I replied as I squirted ketchup onto my chicken nuggets.

“Open your mouth,” Said iota as she held a potato wedge in her chopsticks. She leaned forward as she guided it towards me.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my sleeve.

“Gray, eat mine instead” Said Aoi as she gave me her best puppy eyes while pushing her fries towards me.

With Aoi staring at me like that, I couldn’t help myself but yield. I leaned towards her and ate her fries. I felt like I saw the gates to heaven. Being fed by Aoi was the best! My heart started going doki doki as I took the fries off her chopsticks.

“Hmph!” Said iota as she puffed her cheeks. It looked like Hiro was about to say something in protest, however, she shoved her potato wedge in his mouth to shut him up.

Meanwhile, Aoi turned towards iota and stuck her tongue out.

“Was it good?” Asked Aoi as she turned back around and brushed aside a loose strand of hair.

“Yeah, it was really good,” I replied back to her. Suddenly, I saw Aoi’s light up and I instantly had a bad feeling about this.

“Well then, here Gray, have a taste of this, this, this and this one too!” Said Aoi as she used her chopsticks to stuff one thing in my mouth than another. I didn’t even have enough time to breathe.

“MRPH!” Was all that I could say.

“More?” Asked Aoi again as she kept feeding me.

In the end, iota left with Hiro for her cleaning duties while Aoi and I were going to check on Red and Evan.

We found Red at the park, he was holding onto the fence as he practiced walking. I can tell he was struggling to force his right leg to move, however, it still dangles limply. Asuna was there to support him when he needed it.

Wait.

“Red! Why is Asuna here?!” I asked him as I ran towards him. Having a civilian in our headquarters could be dangerous! He should have at least gotten my permission before doing this!

I fell. Right, my leg isn’t healed yet.

“Don’t worry, I was the one who approved your request” Said Aoi. She snickered as she pulled me up.

I felt a little purple, I guess I fell down enough times that even Aoi had stopped worrying about me.

“Well thanks for your concern Aoi!” I said, I was in a salty mood now.

“I’m sorry for the intrusion guys” Said Asuna as she bowed.

“Sorry Gray, Asuna kind of figured out about the whole mafia thing so I thought there was no point in hiding this so… I brought her here.” Said Red as he gritted his teeth while walking along the fence.

“How did she find out about that so easily?!” I shouted a bit as I was flustered. If a civilian like her was able to find us that easily, where could we have slipped?!

“My dad’s a private investigator who’s been investigating the quick disappearances of the various mafias.” Responded Asuna with a sheepish smile. “When you came to the hospital, he managed to trail you guys all the way here! The first person of the law to find the base of the infamous GrayWolves!”

“He’s amazing! We didn’t even know we'd been discovered until Asuna told me about it over the phone!” Exclaimed Red who was all excited.

バカ！(idiot!)

“This is a very serious matter! Her dad’s an investigator?! That’s not good! What happens if the police raids us!!!” I yelled at Red, whose eyes were getting wide at the reality of things. I guess love really does make you blind.

I took a breath and calmed myself down. “Look Red, we may be different from other mafias, however, we are still hated by society! You and Asuna are now a threat to the GrayWolves, either you leave her, or you both leave!” I said as both my fists were getting sweaty from clenching too hard. I felt the trickle of blood as my nails dug into my palms. I can’t believe I just said that to Red. I know this isn’t fair, but… what should I do?

“Gray, calm down” Said Aoi as she took my hand in hers. I slapped it away. Her eyes widened.

“And you! Why didn’t you tell me about such a serious matter?” I growled at Aoi, I saw her pupils dilate in fear. However, I couldn’t care less for how she felt right now.

“It’s because you were busy with the new recruits… and with your injury I just wanted to lighten your burden for…” Before she can continue, I stopped her.

“Stop the fucking excuses Aoi! I’ve known you long enough! I can tell you’re lying!” I was furious. First Red and his idiotic relationship, now Aoi’s lying to me. The fuck! I’m supposed to be their boss, no, their friend! Why couldn’t they trust me with this?

“It’s because I’ve known you long enough that I didn’t tell you!” Aoi said in a desperate voice. “I knew you won’t be able to accept this! I knew this would happen! But… but…” Aoi’s shoulders shook as she trembled, she couldn’t speak from choking on her tears.

“But I just don’t want our relationship to be ruined! I want you, Red, me, and Evan to stay here! To be like we have always been! I don’t want that to change…” Continued Aoi. She raised one hand to wipe her tears.

“Please calm down! It’s my fault!” Said Asuna as she ran in between the three of us.

“Fuck off! This doesn’t concern you! You just need to dump Red and go live the rest of your fucking life as a civilian! After all, we are nothing more than hated criminals!” I roared as I pushed Asuna. She fell onto the ground and scraped her knee. The sidewalk was stained red.

“LAY YOUR HANDS OFF ASUNA!” Screamed Red as he raised his right foot and kicked me to the ground.

How… he can move his right leg again! How did he find such overwhelming strength? However, I was in no right mind to celebrate it.

Fuck, that stung. I felt my knees and face scrape against the rough side walk. However, this time when I fell, no one helped me up. Aoi, Red and Asuna just stood there.

くそ！ (shit!)

I looked up at everyone, however, they were all avoiding my gaze. I felt as if I was the one trespassing on their territory.

“I won’t be leaving Asuna, she’s going to be different! I’m going to move forward Gray, with or without you.” Growled Red in a low and ice cold voice.

“Fuck you all! Just… Fine! I’m the one who is wrong here! Why don’t I just leave the mafia?! Yeah! That’s right! I will leave! Leave this fucking place!” I screamed. Half the time, I don’t even know what’s coming out of my mouth or what’s been screaming inside my head.

“Gray! You don’t…” Interjected Aoi as her eyes were wide with tears. Fucking women, they cry so much.

“You guys can run the mafia as you see fit! I’m just some old man stuck in the past of the old ways! Yeah! You’re in charge now! RED! Are you happy now?! Now you can stay here with Asuna!”

Suddenly, I felt drops of water fall on me. It was raining, and the water was leaking down from above to underground. I heard the drum of the drops, the ruckus of thunder , growling, growing. Louder. Louder. Meaner. Meaner.

Fucking idiots.

くそ！ (shit!)

The atmosphere was harsh and cold. It felt lonely. I was lonely. Red’s gaze burned through me, he looked betrayed. Fucking idiot. He’s the one who betrayed me. Fuck. I’ve used the word Fuck so many times now.

FUCK!

Asuna and Red started heading back. She was pushing Red in a wheelchair, wheeling him home. I bet they’re going to take a warm shower together.

Aoi was still there, both her fists were clenched, she was biting her lip. A stream of red was flowing down from the flesh she had teared into. The water from above had started to drip harder. The rain was growing stronger, fiercer.

“Let’s go,” Whispered Aoi.

“I’m really thinking about leaving here…I was serious” I whispered.

I heard her gasp.

Yeah. That’s right. Right now was the perfect excuse for me to leave. Red and Asuna now hate me, and Evan might feel the same. Aoi probably no longer feels the same about me either. Our relationship was ruined. It wasn’t Red who ruined it, nor was it Aoi. It was me.

I did this to myself.

It couldn’t have been anyone else.

I did this to myself.

I know this yet, I can’t do anything but direct my own anger and stress at everyone else. As if the only way I could live was to have someone else take the blame. It’s Red’s fault. It’s Aoi’s fault. It’s Asuna’s fault.

No.

That’s deluding myself.

It’s my fault.

That’s all there is to it.

I dug my palms and knees harder into the pavement. Pools of red formed around me. Swelling fast, furious, angry. I screamed. My pent up feelings, I screamed it out. My regrets and guilt, I screamed it out. My dark lament filled the rainy air.

Damn it. Damn every damn thing.

Today started off a good day.

I wish it continued to be a good day.

Damn.

The rain kept pouring.

I shivered.