The Incident

Once Kishi had gotten our bags from the library, we left school and rode a bus to my house. We went inside together and he glanced around the apartment. He smiled when he looked at me again. I showed him to my room.

“Make yourself at home…” I said, regretting not throwing my stuffed animals in a closet.

“Wow…! I love your room!” Kishi looked like he had stars in his eyes. As long as he likes it I guess…

I unfolded a small table that we could sit at on the floor.

“Do you want anything to drink or…?” I nervously fiddled with my hands.

“I’m alright. Unless you want something.” He looked at me calmly like he could tell how nervous I was.

“I’m… alright too…” I settled into a seat next to the table.

Kishi sat across from me. Silence stretched between us. I took a deep breath before I began.

“So… Um… I guess I’ll just start… This happened in junior high school.”

I told him about the couple friends I had and how we kept to ourselves. I was a bit shy but I always tried to smile and speak kindly to others. But something seemed to bother one of my classmates and her group of friends when I spoke to them one day. I knew that they had somewhat of a bad reputation, but I never thought they’d do anything to me. Yet bullies don’t exactly need a good reason to pick on anyone.

The group set their sights on me and my friends. Small things turned into bigger things. They would spill food or drinks on us, drop our bags into toilets, and trip us in the classroom. I had no idea why it was happening and I didn’t know what to do to stop it. I did try to ask them to stop, but of course they didn’t.

Eventually my friends got out of it. Apparently the bullies made a deal with them, saying that if they abandoned me they would be set free. And so they did. That’s when the true incident happened. They had come this far, they weren’t afraid to torment me even further. I realized that I was the main problem and my friends were just being strung along.

Those girls cornered me in the bathroom once I was alone, abandoned by the friends who were targeted because of me. I didn’t blame them then… But I can’t help but blame them now. They shouldn’t have abandoned me. They should have tried to help me when I didn’t know what to do, before it got even worse. But that’s not what happened…

Being cornered in the bathroom felt familiar. I thought they’d just put my head in a toilet or something. But once the silver scissors came out, I realized this was different than before. She finally told me why she was doing this to me.

“You’re too pretty, are you trying to rival my beauty? I guess we’ll have to fix that.”

After those words, her friends held me down. Then a few of them with scissors began to cut up my hair and face, not caring where the blades went or how deep they carved. I could only close my eyes and cry and scream, thrashing in their arms, making the cuts worse.

It was after school and most of the students and teachers had left. But the custodial staff remained. One of the girls was on lookout and when she saw someone coming, she told the rest of her friends. Only then did the torture stop. They looked down at me, smirking and laughing through their noses.

“Not so pretty anymore. I would like to get rid of those eyes of yours too, but I don’t want to see something that gruesome. Your scars will be enough.”

Then they ran away before anyone could catch them as the culprits. I was left sobbing as tears and blood ran down my face. The memory is hazy but I was found and my father was contacted. I had my wounds tended to. My father let me stay at home to recuperate from my experience. Luckily he got those girls expelled. They were also sent to juvie because of what they did to me…

Kishi was silent, looking horrified by my story. I wiped the tears that had formed while I was telling it. It’s so terrible that I can’t escape what happened to me since the scars on my face are a permanent reminder…

Ah… I’m so tired… I want to be done with this story…

Suddenly, Kishi’s arms were around me. He squeezed me tightly.

“Saki, I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry that happened to you… I had no idea…” He sniffled.

I hugged him back while more tears were stinging my eyes. I just closed my eyes and held onto him.

“Saki…” Kishi spoke again after some time had gone by. “I’m sorry you have to live with that… None of it was your fault… I’m sure that even with your scars, you’re very beautiful.”

I paused. “I’m sure I look like a monster…”

Kishi pulled back and grabbed my face. “No way! There’s no way you look like a monster! Don’t say that!”

“...I hope you won’t regret saying that after you see it.”

“I won’t regret saying that!!”

“Sure…” I pushed his hands away, not believing him.

Then I hesitantly grabbed my glasses. I slipped them off slowly. Then I carefully tucked my bangs behind my ear, all while facing the floor. I steeled myself before looking up at Kishi.

His expression turned pitiful. He reached out a hand to touch my cheek, tracing one of my scars with his thumb. I closed my eyes, not wanting to imagine what he’s seeing or thinking.

“Saki… You’re still beautiful.”

I opened my eyes. “Huh…? You’re kidding… Do you need to get your eyes checked?”

“Hey, my eyes are fine!” He took his hand back. “And sure your scars are still there, but they look more faded… They definitely don’t make you look like a monster.”

“I can’t believe that… Because the last time I saw them…”

“And when was that?”

I paused. I turned my head away.

“Saki! When was that?!” He grabbed my shoulders.

“I guess… When they were still healing…”

“Then do you have no idea what they look like now?! Come on, I’m sure you’ll feel better if you take another look now! Where’s your bathroom?” He tried to pull me up by my arm but I wouldn’t budge.

“No… I can’t… I can’t look at it…” I shook my head quickly.

“Saki, please! Don’t you trust me?”

I stared up at him. His determined expression seemed to make his golden eyes shine. How can I not trust that look…

I let myself be dragged up. He held onto my arm as he took me to the bathroom mirror. He turned the light on but I couldn’t lift my head to look.

“Saki… It’s alright. Trust me.”

I steeled myself after hearing those words. Then I raised my head.

The image of my red scars flash in my memory before disappearing. And what’s left there are scars that have healed. They’re not so red and obvious anymore. You can see the many white scars across my skin but it looks better than I expected. I raised my hands to softly touch them.

“See? Not so bad.” Kishi smiled next to me in the mirror.

I slowly put my hands down. “You’re right… It’s not as bad anymore… They healed…”

“Of course! A wound will always heal!”

A wound will always heal… Can my trauma heal too?

We left the bathroom and went back to my room. I’m still out of it after looking at my white scars.

“Are you okay, Saki…?”

I slowly nodded. “Yeah… I think… Maybe I am…” I hugged him. “Thank you, Kishi.”

“That’s what friends are for.” He hugged me back.

I pulled away. “But… I’m still nervous… The scars are still somewhat visible. I don’t want to show everyone…”

“You’re not obligated to do that. Didn’t you tell Kitahashi-san that you’ll never show him?”

“Right… He’s the last person I want looking at my face…”

“Do what’s most comfortable for you. I’ll support your decision,” he beamed.

“Thanks, Kishi… You’re a great best friend.”

“So are you! Let’s stay best friends forever!” He pulled me into another hug. I decided to savor this one.

My scars aren’t as bad as I thought… And Kishi accepted me completely. He’s been such a great help… I don’t ever want to lose him…

Father happened to come home when Kishi was going to leave.

“H-Hello Mr. Shiotani…! Nice to meet you! My name is Kishi Horiuchi, a good friend of your daughter’s!” Kishi was very nervous as he bowed to him.

“Nice to meet you too,” was all he said in response. Father is usually a man of few words…

After their meeting, Kishi waved goodbye before leaving my house.

“You aren’t hiding your face,” father commented.

“Oh… Yeah… I decided to tell him…”

He rubbed my head, messing up my hair. “I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks…” He’s going to make me cry…

Over dinner, I decided to explain a little more. I’m still going to hide my face until I feel comfortable. If that’ll ever happen…

“I’m sure you’ll get there.”

Going to sleep that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened today. It was a lot… But in the end, I’m glad I did it. Kishi and I feel closer than ever. And I can relax knowing my scars aren’t as bad as I always thought they were… I thought they’d stay red and painful forever…

But my trauma won’t let me overcome it that easily. I had a nightmare about the incident. I wanted to cover my face more than ever during school the next day.

To interrupt my usual day, Shoji Iwasaki appeared in my classroom during class. Just as I wondered why he was here, he told us.

“Hello everyone! I don’t mean to interrupt but I’m trying to confirm everyone’s phone numbers in your student files. A couple of you don’t have a number listed so I’m going to ask you to write one down. I’ll go to you and your teacher can keep teaching.” He smiled at our English teacher.

“Thank you, Iwasaki-kun,” our teacher replied.

I watched him talk to the first student. Then I tried to focus on the blackboard. That’s when he eventually came to me.

“Hello. You’re Shiotani-chan, right? Nice to meet you again.”

“Oh… Mm-hm…” I nodded, surprised by his presence.

“Do you have a cell phone? I’d like that number if possible. If you don't, a parent's number will work too.”

The paper he gave me to write on was set on top of my notebook for taking notes. I moved my pencil to begin writing my number. I wonder why he wants everyone’s numbers… I guess to get in contact with us if we don’t show up for school or something.

“By the way…” Shoji’s voice made me pause. “Do you happen to like roses?”

That’s when I realized. Shoji isn’t any different after all… But he is the only one who came so close to figuring me out.

My heart began to beat out of my chest. I quickly erased the first numbers I had written. Then I quickly scribbled in my father’s number.

“Roses are… pretty…” I gave him my response.

“...Sounds good! I wanted to make sure everyone had numbers registered in case we needed them for sports day. Thank you for cooperating. I’ll let you get back to class.”

Even after he left, my heart continued to pound. I underestimated Shoji…