Make a Joke

(Kaidou Itsuki)

It was a big failure yesterday. I didn't make jokes at all. I was too nervous. I didn't even say anything. Her cold, beautiful aura made my mind go blank.

But it's okay. I still have 29 days to make her laugh. I don't want to fail and end up confessing my feelings to her. I have to make her laugh no matter how much effort I had to put in.

I also have plans just like yesterday. I'll be waiting for her to leave, approach her, and ask her to come home with me. I don't know if she will accept my invitation like yesterday, but I will try again.

"Sumeragi-san, do you want to come home with me again?" I stopped her from walking any further.

She looks back and stares at my face with her cold gaze.

"Sure."

I'm glad she doesn't ask me anything. Is this a positive sign? I don't know, maybe she just couldn't refuse an invitation. But if I ask her out, she will 100% reject me.

I'm not joking or pessimistic. Many popular students in this school had been rejected by her. Top-class students, athletes, handsome guys, and even rich guys, were all rejected by her. If I'm thinking straight, how could an ordinary student like me stand a chance?

So, that's why I don't want to confess my feeling to her.

Now, as we walk side by side, my mind goes blank again. I want to make a joke right now, but she doesn't seem in the mood. No, what am I thinking? Her expression is always flat! How can I know her mood? No one knows when she is happy or sad. I have to make a joke.

"Sumeragi-san, do you know the difference between an apple and chewing gum?" I asked.

"Of course. Apple is a fruit, and chewing gum is not fruit. Why do you ask?" She glanced at me.

Yeah, why did I ask her that stupid question? That's not even funny to me.

"I know, but that's not the right answer." I decided to continue.

"Then what is the right answer?"

I took my breath. "An apple is usually being put on the table whilst chewing gum is under the table."

"So what?"

"That's all."

She looks at me without changing her expression.

"Oh, I see."

What did I say? That's not even a joke! It's just a stupid question and it's not funny at all!

Okay, keep calm, I have a lot of jokes that I searched on the internet before; funnier than that stupid question.

"Sumeragi-san, why do snipers shoot with one eye closed?" I asked her again.

"If they close both of their eyes, they wouldn't be able to see."

"Ye-yeah, you're right, hahaha."

Why the hell does she answer my jokes?! Did she already know about that jokes? Okay, okay, I failed again.

I'll try another joke.

"Sumeragi-san, what does the elephant have that other animals don't?"

"A trunk?"

"No."

"What do you mean, no? Are you saying that dogs also have trunks?"

"No, no, that's not what I meant!"

Gosh, doesn't she know that I'm trying to make a joke? Why is she taking my question so literally?

"So what's the real answer?" She looks at me, still with a straight face.

I clear my throat. "Okay, let me repeat the question. What do the elephants have that other animals don't?

"What it is?"

"Elephant child."

She suddenly looks away.

What's with that reaction? Am I doing it?

She looks ahead again. Her expression is still the same. I wonder what was the reaction she give me earlier.

"Sumeragi-san, are you holding back your laughter?"

"What do you mean?"

"Uh, no, you looked away immediately after I made a joke. I thought you were trying to hide your laugh, haha."

"I'm not."

"Oh, okay, I'm sorry."

We then remain silent until we've arrived at the school gates. I'm very nervous but also relieved. I've never put an effort harder before. The results are disappointing, but I won't give up.

"Sumeragi-san, is it okay if we go home together like this every day from now on?"

Oh, that was embarrassing. It was like I confessed to her.

She nods.

"A-are you sure?"

"Of course, we're classmates."

Uh, yes, classmates.

"Thank you, Sumeragi-san. I'm relieved if you don't mind."

She nods again without giving a smile.

*

At night, Takashi called right after I pulled up my blanket.

"You did a great job, Itsuki. You almost make her laugh!"

"What do you mean by almost? She didn't even put an expression. There's no sign of her holding back a laugh or anything either."

"No, no, you did a great job. I saw Sumeragi suddenly turn her face away when you told her the elephant joke. I think she was laughing then."

"That's impossible, I didn't hear any laughter from her mouth. Maybe she just felt uncomfortable."

Speaking about the bet, I have to make Sumeragi laugh in front of Takashi. Thus he would secretly follow us from behind whenever we went home together.

"Itsuki, you can give up now and just confess your feelings to her tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"No, never!"

"Why are you so stubborn? All you have to do is just say, 'I love you,' to her, and that's it. It's great if she accepts, and if she doesn't, you have nothing to lose. Come on!" Takashi kept nagging me.

"I'd be ashamed for the rest of my life if she rejected me. You know that she's a beautiful, smart, rich girl. I'm not on her level."

"Screw your thoughts! Love is blind, Man. Now, imagine if Sumeragi also has the same feelings for you and accepts your love. How happy will you be?"

I fell silent for a moment thinking about what Takashi said. It's too unreal. I can't imagine Sumeragi has the same feelings for me. I couldn't find any signs.

"That's impossible, Takashi. I'll make her laugh and avoid confessing to her for sure. And I've told you before. My type of girl is someone who talks and smiles a lot. I'm not interested in Sumeragi."

He sighed.

"Okay, okay. Good luck, then. But you have to keep your promise. If you fail to make Sumeragi laugh, you have to confess to her."

"I know, I won't break my promise. Just wait and see until I make her laugh in front of you."

"I'll wait."

"Good night."

Call ends.

I look up at the ceiling while thinking of Sumeragi.

I love her so much, but I can't afford her. I don't want to be rejected by her and make our relationship feel awkward.

This one-sided love is enough for me.

I have to hide my feelings for her — forever.