Reach and Leap

When I look up at the clock and it says it's noon, my first reaction is to smother myself on my bed pillow and just groan really, really loud. The armhub already sounded the alarm hours ago and I managed to ignore them in my sleep.

I really don't like waking up late.

It ruins the schedule that I have established. It ruins the routine I have accustomed to myself a-and! You know what? I am just going to let this slide for today. I am not in the mood to bring a foul mood to my workplace.

And so I washed myself, got dressed, did the noon prayers, ate, and off to the bureau.

I waste no time getting to the bureau. Forgoing the streets, I took the rooftops. Much faster. I didn't feel serenity while I took my steps on the upper grounds. Only haste and worry.

What did I miss?

What happens to Elmas Family?

Is there a problem because of yesterday?

These three questions raced around in my mind and I was hoping it reached its finish line when I asked Itayel Hanim about it. And hopefully Akum Bey was there. If they aren't there then I guess I just have to ask lancers who joined yesterday.

The noon hours of the guild is not my favorite. There is a reason I prefer to come earlier and take as many commissions that could fill the day. Because if morning is calm before the storm, then noon is the storm.

The guild was crowded when I arrived at the bureau. It is chatty and packed with Lancer officers lounging around and asking receptionists for information. The usual everyday sight of Lancer Guild basically. With this though, there is a big chance Itayel Hanim is occupied.

And my hunch was right.

Itayel Hanim is juggling with many officers that consulted her. Other receptionist is also occupied. I'll be honest, I am always impressed with them. Writing commissions, remembering information given, and giving directions. These are the traits of a good receptionist.

And I haven't met any who didn't fill this criteria. Even the ditzy Ayelet Hanim is competent.

When we are waiting for receptionists, we officers are lounging around to wait for our turn. Sometimes it felt like a race to get to them. While I could pick commissions from the board, I was advised to consult before committing to the task.

After all, we don't want to step on the wrong foot when we take the first steps.

After around half an hour of waiting, a familiar face came through the entrance.

Her loose veil came into view as she strolled nonchalantly towards me.

"Merhaba(hello), Hoodie," Tenne Hanim greeted.

"Peace be upon you," I replied back. "What brings you here?"

"Well," she joined her index fingers. "I want to ask for a favor."

I tilted my head. Shouldn't you request them from the receptionist first?

"The receptionist is over there," I pointed out.

She put her hands on her hips, looking irked. "Really, Hoodie? So I should ask them first before you want to help me?"

"I mean, that's how it's done."

That's what the proceedings though. My answer didn't satisfy her question at all as she looked more irritated.

She loudly sighed. "Nonsense, if your job is to help you should help when asked."

"You didn't even tell me what we are going to do." I shot back.

She turned her face, looking bashful as she sweats. "W-Well, I promise it's not something with bad intentions!"

"Then care to tell me?"

She groaned in resignation. "Fiiiineee…I just want your help in taking care little kids at the the school I worked on."

That's new.

"You are a teacher?"

She proudly huffed. "Indeed I am! What? Do I not look the part?"

I gave her an accusing gaze.

"Fiiineee, I lied. I am simply one of the school's caretakers."

"Thought so," I said. "After all, you don't look like the part."

"You JERK! Just because I…am not well presentable doesn't mean it discredits me," She argues.

"But why me though?"

"B-because…" she trailed off. "You are the only one I know here."

That doesn't clarify anything at all. There is Akum Bey who she can get a hold on–wait, he is not here either, so that leaves me. Alright, I put aside adding more questions to the table and instead simply accepted her request.

"Fiiiineee, take me to where we need to go," I replied to her request.

Tenne Hanim beamed up.

"Y-You'll really d-do it?!"

"Sure."

That's got to be the widest smile I have seen even rivaling Ayelet Hanim's. She really wanted this, huh?

Without further ado, I rose from the rug I rested upon. Bones creaking as I move my limbs and stretching them.

"Hehehe, you're already old, huh, Hoodie?"

No, and why is she still calling me that?

"Ah, these old bones are weak, I guess I am not strong enough to help you…" I pretend to sit back on the rug.

"N-No, no, no! I am just joking!"

I chuckled at the display.

"Hm, my old bones still have it then," I said. "Well, lead the way, ustazah."

She huffed, facing away from me. From the corner of my eye I could see Itayel Hanim giving me a glance and smiling. It was very quick before she returned to her neutral expression, but the fact she noticed me among the many voices here is…

That was…scary.

Tenne Hanim led me outside and the suffocating air of the bureau was replaced with fresh ones.

"Phew, sweet release!" She remarked. "Now, how about we do an exercise

"What do you mean by that?"

"Er, we go by rooftops, right?"

So she loves the rooftops like me…I hid my grin, not trying to show my excitement. Even though this is not a commission, at least I am moving and doing something I love, and that's enough for me.

"Alright, then shall we depart now then?" I started.

Without my prompt, she dashed past me. I followed closely behind. She was quick in her movement I admit. It's quite hard to catch up with her. Rooftop guards became blurred as we raced our way to the destination.

And I hopelessly have to match her pace.

I feel a tinge of jealousy of how easy she ran compared to me. Her swiftness is something else almost on par with my father's. The way she chooses her route is without a waste.

Her moves are performed to maximize her speed without sacrificing the momentum she built. I stumbled for a bit and when she slowed herself down to wait for me, she managed to regain her lost momentum quickly.

Without a doubt, Tenne Elmas is no mere citizen nor just a survivor from Verdoyant province. As Tsavi Bey said, she learned many things in her youth. Be it good or bad, but I am sure her agility is natural.

By the time we stopped in our tracks, we were already in another district. It is the area where many people go to learn, the Academy district. I haven't been into here before which is surprising that I come here out of favor not a commission.

We descended from the rooftops. Tenne Hanim then led me to the elementary madrasah

This takes me back to the old times when I was still six. My mother used to bring me there all the time back in our village. It is also the time where I put my climbing skills to the test. Heh, I still remember all the time I kept flunking the short courses.

"Why are you smiling about, Hoodie?" Tenne Hanim broke me out of my reverie.

"A little reminiscence, that's all." I replied.

"Ah, I never know the feeling since I never got into school anyway."

Then how come you get accepted here? I wanted to ask. After all, being a caretaker is not simply being there to accompany and guard the students during their free time. She too needs a credential to prove she is trustworthy, but I am not risking touching a possible sensitive subject.

"Then, what do you want me to help with?" I asked.

"The students I am assigned to look after are the fifth graders," she began. "They are sleeping right now, but after they woke up, I was told to oversee their First Reach."

First Reach, that takes back my memories of doing it. It can be called as a rite of adulthood or just simply early stages of morsyan's growth. I, too, took my First Reach when I was their age. It was my father who looked after me.

When I did it years ago, I was scared. Despite being slowly trained in the arts of climbing, the hurdle thrown at me made me shrink. All that training seemed to not matter when I took it to the test. Fortunately, it can be done multiple times. After many failures, I managed to do it.

It was a time of frustration that ended with triumph. I can never forget my parents' smiles when I did it.

But, returning myself to the present now, I can see why Tenne Hanim was told to oversee the fifth graders. I have witnessed her skill and I can vouch for her qualification, but even then, I am inclined to make sure of herself.

"This is quite a task, watching over someone's First Reach instead of their relatives," I remarked. "Can you make sure they won't be let down should one of them fail?"

This is important for every morysah. The fruits of the skill they have been taught since they were able to run. They dedicate their early years to reach higher places and this test, this rite is the culmination of it. For this is our identity and not just a mere tradition.

So it is mostly done with parents or relatives there to witness the climb. So, having caretakers oversee means some of the kids didn't have their close ones attending. That, itself, is tough since I don't have a connection with them. To me, we're strangers unlike Tenne Hanim who worked here.

I hope she knew about this.

She nervously smiled. "There is a reason I asked for your help," she answered. "I never knew about First Reach at all."

"W-What?! How come you accept in the first place?"

"Shaddup! I have to, okay," she angrily replied. "If I can't prove my worth after what I have done–"

"What have you done?"

"Before we met, when I desperately tried to get anyone's attention," She recounted. "I purposely stole things to get myself caught by the guards."

She continued, "You know why, right?"

I remember why, it was to get the guards' attention. It ended up being fruitless since nobody believed about the midnight foolery she witnessed. Way before she does the spectacle, she did report them, but of course, who would believe someone who accuses her respected brother?

There is one implication behind her desperation…

"My job is at risk because I am starting to get the looks," she revealed. "They know what I did and I know those glances are judging me."

"No matter what my intention was, Tsavi kept saying it, but I ignored him," her voice grew somber. "This is the consequence."

"How can they trust a caretaker, someone who looked after children when she publicly did something bad?"

Her words made me stand still. She was…right. No matter the reason, all the populace know that Tenne Elmas is attached to that woman who kept stealing and somehow got away because her father is a guard. It sends the wrong message even if the truth says a different one.

Akum Bey decided to pardon her brother and his friends. Thus, anything about the midnight foolery is left to be wrapped up with some papers that might slip if one looks hard enough. He was right when he said Tenne's brother, Elinor, indirectly caused her circumstance.

She is now desperately trying to prove herself to the people because of it.

I sighed. "Loose," I called out to her. "Putting reasons aside, how can you not know about First Reach?"

"It's not that I didn't know it was more like I wasn't told there was a tradition about climbing. I took the chance to take this job since I am confident in my skills when I heard the gist of it." she explained.

"I grew up in Verdoyant, remember?" she reminded me. "Tsavi must have told you already."

That just didn't make any sense either. Surely people who live in that province must have known about traditions at least. Even if Tsavi Bey's recount portrayed them as immoral or strayed, there is no way the morsyans there forgot about their culture. But, he once said she lived in the slums…

I internally sighed. These questions popped up now and then started to hamper me. Maybe I am not as good as I thought.

"I think I understand you a bit," I stated. "We grew up in a different environment."

"Yup," she affirmed. "And that's the sign that…"

"We should get enough sleep!"

Her sudden enthusiasm startled me. Why sleep? Ack! I promised not to add more questions, dang it!

"Er, care to tell me why?"

She nonchalantly gave a casual 'eh?' as if that answers it.

"Well, to get rest, you silly Hoodie~" she clarified. "We do the First Reach after they wake up."

"Then why didn't you ask me to help after they woke up?"

"Because that will take more time and kids don't have the patience of the saint waiting for me!"

True though, when I was a kid, I loathed waiting–well, still am now, but I am getting there slowly…hopefully.

But, I don't want to sleep. More like I can't sleep since I already slept like a rock. That left me to…

"I am already well-rested, why don't we meet up here when noon is about to end? How about that?" I suggested.

"You slept like a rock, huh?"

"H-How did you know?"

She leaned forward and looked at me below my hood.

"You can't fool me with that cloak, Hoodie,"

I feel a little flustered with her forwardness.

"Those tired eyes of yours are something I am familiar with,"

"Heh, you got me figured,"

"I am an expert at taking care of overworked fellows," she huffed.

"This is my first time, though, I haven't worked late like midnight before."

She sheepishly scratched her cheek. "Hehe, I won't make a request like that again," she bowed. "Sorry for bothering you."

I simply told her it was no problem. It's intense, sure, but if I fall short from that, I can't prove my worth.Tenne Hanim is trying her best too after all so I shouldn't lose either.

"I will be resting at my quarters here, what will you do before we begin?" Tenne Hanim asked.

"I'll roam."

She chuckled. "Don't dive first into trouble Hoodie."

"Tell that to yourself."

We parted ways. As soon as I was left alone, I did as I told her. The academy's district schools are quite more refined in my opinion. Having all the schools share one interconnected complex that allows mingling between the grades means it is a lot easier to traverse.

The university is also included although it has a special space reserved for it. I wonder if I can visit Elinor Bey here to catch up with him. Akum Bey promised to talk to his professor so surely he is still here, right?

Watching it from afar brings many what-ifs in my mind. Would I have ended up as a sophisticated scholar if I applied to one back then? I still stand by my decision in enrolling in Lancer's madrasah, but I wonder what would become of me if I didn't.

I put that thought aside and by the time I felt satisfied wandering around, it was afternoon. Tenne Hanim is already present at the meeting spot.

"Merhaba, Hoodie," She greeted. "How does your tour going on?"

"I am impressed with the design. Inter-connected complex, no more confusion on going to another side of the city and the meal is good too,"

"Right, right, I don't know about the first two," she brushed it off. "But I do relate with the last though."

I forgot she never enroll in school before. I then asked her about the fifth graders.

"Yikes, I forgot to introduce them to you," She clasped her hands. "Hang on a sec,"

She strolled to a group of children. I can count around the size of one class which is contrary to the way she implies it will be all the fifth graders. It will require more than two adults to look after more than one class.

I return my attention back to Tenne Hanim. They attentively pay attention to her once she speaks. It took a while before she escorted them to me, but I can guess they asked many questions regarding me since many of them kept raising their hands before they moved.

I was greeted by a wave of smiles.

The group was divided into two, boys and girls, outfitted to climb the giant tree they will scale.

All of them gave me a greeting. High pitched voices ringing in my ears as they did it at the same time. I cupped my ears to tone down the sounds. Some of them noticed this and gave me curious looks, others didn't pay any mind at all.

"Mister Lancer, where is your face?"

I know that my mother made my cloak bigger than she intended, but is it really that obscuring.

"Because it was hidden under my hood," I answered.

"But, Bekci (caretaker) Elmas has one," the little girl argued. "How can you lose yours?"

How can I answer that? In the first place, what does she mean? The hood or my face?

I scratched my head even though it looked like I was doing it on my hood. I know, it's ridiculous, but I can still feel my skin.

And so, I just resorted to telling them the truth, "You see, my mother made this cloak for me,"

The little girl perked up, showing off the cloak she wears. "Just like my mother did!"

"That's right, my mother did the same," I affirmed. "It was a tradition just like what we are about to do."

Tenne Hanim seemed to be curious with what I said.

"What is this tradition, Hoodie?"

Ah...right, she didn't grow up in a normal environment.

"It was customary for mothers to sew a cloak for their children," I explained. "And the children are expected to keep it safe all the time."

Tenne Hanim, who is now sitting alongside other children who sat when I began my explanation. Somehow, it looked like I was giving a lecture…and everyone is waiting for me to speak.

I coughed.

"This is very important," I emphasized. "The cloak is not just clothing, it is the sign of our mothers' hard work and it can be said I wore mine because it makes me feel that no matter the distance, parts of my mother are still with me."

Some of the children's eyes lit up, some looked confused. But one sullen looking boy raised his hand.

"Why though?" He asked.

Every one of his classmates gave him looks. It was pure contempt as if this is the usual occurrence.

"What do you mean?"

"Why does a cloak have to be a sign of mother's love?"

"It was made by–"

"I know that already, but doesn't a mother's love–no, parents' love shown through how much they care? Why do we need a tradition to force mothers to do something they are not skilled at? What if there is no one to call as parents at all?!"

"We shouldn't count a cloak as a way to replace missing parents," The air became still for a moment as I pondered a reply for that.

He shrugged. "You know what, I don't care."

He stood up and dusted himself off and "I know well not to escalate things so you don't need to be mad, we have other things to do after all."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

He chuckled. "Just forget about it, and well, since you are 'knowledgeable' about tradition and stuff, better come with an answer next time "

I wanted to argue back, but the children are getting uncomfortable with where the conversation is heading. I hold back my questions and reserve for later. It's quite humiliating to be beaten by a kid.

Just in the right time, crowds appeared, geared to suit that of climbing. I can assume these are the parents.

"Okay, everyone!" Tenne Hanim called out. "Find your parents and wait with them before your names are called."

The fifth graders began to rush over past us, but as the crowd of kids dissipated, it left one behind.

The same boy who argued with me recently. He seemed to gaze at his classmates with contempt. Tenne Hanim approached him only for him to turn away from her.

"Now, now, Ariel, no need to get hasty," She tried to comfort.

The boy rolled his eyes. "Shut up, fake nanny, go back to picking pockets."

…

Do kids these days act like this? I don't remember being like this at all. His words cut deep, because I can see Tenne Hanim visibly recoiled for a moment there. Where are his parents anyway…

"Ahahaha…you got me alright…"

Tenne Hanim shrugged off the rude comment as she tries her best to stay cool-headed.

"Um, Ariel,"

The boy ignored her.

Ariel.

At least I know your name now.

She flailed her hand in front of him to get his attention only for him to slap it away.

She sighed and gave me a look.

What? Do you want me to intervene?

sigh

I closed my distance and began to whisper, "What do you want me to do?"

"Ariel does not have a parent,"

Ah, I see..

"Then what would you have me do?

"There is another one like him, but she was sick when she woke up, and the aforementioned girl is the one I should in charge of."

I think I understood where she was going with this.

"I intend for you to take care of him so that's why I asked you to help me!"

Stranger, or responsible adults are allowed to watch over a child going through the First Reach. But, it must be with the same gender.

That's the reason I am needed since she is not allowed to oversee Ariel. But even then…

"In the first place why don't someone from the facul–"

"Oi, I can hear you whispering, you know?"

Our hushed talk interrupted. The boy scowls even more than before.

"You are talking about me, don't you?"

"We're not–"

"Admit it!" he exclaimed.

The courtyard now centers its attention to us.

"I don't to need to climb a stupid tree to prove I am capable. No matter what you do I won't move."

Some of his classmates looked offended by his declaration. Tenne Hanim facepalmed.

"Is he…always like this?" I asked her.

"The boy is a gloomy type and a lousy student, he will hurt himself if you let him alone."

Now I understand why she wants me to watch over him. But, I didn't fail to notice what she said.

"So, you do look after them, huh?" I said.

She grinned. "Of course, I am their caretaker after all even though…"

She then looked down. "I feel bad whenever they ask me about their studies…"

Oh…

I think I shouldn't touch on that.

Anyway, I still remember she asked me about how First Reach works.

"This is how we proceed," I began. "Call out their names and let the parents watch over the children climbing the tree."

"Er…that's it?"

I pointed to the trunks placed on the giant tree. "You see those carefully placed tree stumps?"

She hummed.

"Those are the checkpoints," I explained. "They have to reach all of them to complete First Reach."

She nodded. "Got it, call their names, they reach the trunk under the tree then done."

"That's a little…oversimplification, Loose."

She looked enthusiastic so I won't repeat what I said.

"Easy enough." She gave me a thumbs up.

I am worried for her, really.

Tenne Hanin looked around, feeling confident everything was in their place. She clasped her hands and ordered both students and parents to line up.

As soon as everyone was in order, she called out the student's names.

The first pair stepped forward. The parent eagerly led her child. The former climbed to the first stump while the latter followed the suit. Nothing to complain here. The parent gently guided the child and the little one nimbly climbed to the next stump. They did this for the next checkpoints until they reached the top.

When a youth reaches the top of the tree (marked by the highest stump), they have to perform a leap. My father told me it was for religious reasons. To leap from such a high place was to affirm faith in the Lord and their fear of Him. To be fearless of death and willing to accept that all will return Him.

Heh, perhaps the hooligans we chased yesterday do live with the principles of First Reach now that I think about it.

Of course, it is quite scary, but I have been getting through this. Perhaps that's the reason why I feel comfortable climbing anything. I know I have the skills, but the leap that I once did might have shed the fear I had. And this little one up there with the mother is about to do the same.

From afar, I can see her comfort the little one. This is the reason why a relative must be present at the First Reach. Everyone's first leap is hard even for me. It took me quite some time to be convinced.

After some time, the child leaped and the parent followed behind. Onlookers students were worried about the display and started to quiver, but soon relaxed when the pair came out unschated.

Nothing to worry, kids. This is all for your growth. The secret of course is the conveniently placed pond, but even then I heard falling from such height can break your skull. Huh, I wonder how I can survive the leap back then.

Another mystery, but irrelevant for now.

And so the set of pairs called forward and then the next and then the following after. When most of them are already done, all that is left is the boy.

Him.

He is the only one left as his classmates went back to their dorm or homes after they finished the rite.

sigh

I hope I can do this kid right. I pray your parents in the heavens would approve of me guiding you.

Tenne Hanim gave me the go and as I closed my distance to him, he stood still, glaring at me.

"I won't do it." The boy declared.

I crouched to reach his level. "Don't worry, I will be there to catch you when you fall–"

"It's not That!" He exploded. "I don't care if you drag me or anything, but you won't make me!"

He tried to make a run for it, but I was quick to get a hold of his wrist. He lets out a pained groan, but my grip remains still.

I won't let you go.

I have to spend many days just to complete my First Reach. It was hurt seeing myself failing over and over again, but for you, a boy the same age as I am when I took mine, to forfeit without even telling me?

He has no parents, and I might never know the pain, but I am here. I know I am a stranger and this stranger won't give up on you until you open up just a little. So forgive me for what I am about to do.

"W-Wait! What are you–"

"HOODIE!"

The boy was now on my back.

"Hold tight!" I said.

With a loud cry, I ran towards the tree, intending to climb it.

"YOU ARE CRAZY! PUT ME DOWN!"

I ignored his words and his wail as I began to climb up. On the contrary, he didn't even try to lose his grip when we were still on the ground. When we are high enough, he visibly recoils whenever I notice he looks below.

I knew it.

I think I got the idea on why he is reluctant. I stopped for a moment to get a good look at him. He is afraid. Pale and sweating so much I feel my back just got water thrown into. I gently dropped him to the nearby checkpoint.

I sat and watched as the tough wall of this boy crumbled. He looked at me in horror.

I…have gone too far.

I stood still, waiting between the sobbing. I am at loss on what to do. I haven't encountered a child like him. Most of whom I have known respected me and I treat them the same.

This time, it was like meeting a stranger.

When he slowly regained his composure, I tried to approach him, but to no avail. He distanced himself, but his fear of the heights didn't get him far. I won't take my chances to push him into doing something brash. I am to blame too after all.

"Ariel…" I tried to reach out to him.

"No, stay away!"

Ah…

So this is what it felt like being rejected.

I can't describe how it felt, but the more I pushed the more it remained still. As if I am not the right tool. And that hurts knowing that I can't do much except watch.

"How dare you…" The boy mumbled. "You heartless piece of shit!"

"That fake nanny must have planned this, right?"

Wait, what does he mean by that?

"I don't need your pity!" He exclaimed. "They all looked at me like nothing yet that girl got all the love they should have given to me!"

Eh, which girl?

"What's the point of climbing this stupid tree anyway?!"

"Who's going to wait for me down there?! Nobody! Yet that girl will have everyone clamoring at her!"

"That bitch nanny only cared for me because I looked pitiful! Oh, he has no parents so I have to act like an adult, I have to love him haha, BULLSHIT!"

"I tried…you know," He said between breaths. "I just can't…"

"I can't climb, I am afraid of heights, and I can't even beat her in class…"

"I know she is lying that she is sick. Now she pity me too…what a fucking joke."

So, that's what it is. The girl Tenne Hanim mentioned, and the looks his classmates gave to him.

Just like the last trial of the rite, I took a leap. I tried to talk to him.

"Ariel, can you tell me about this girl?"

"Why? So you can explain her 'circumstance' like the fake nanny?"

"No, I just want to know."

I sat a little closer to him. He seemed to not mind the gap, but he is still cautious.

"She's… always getting on my nerves," His shoulders tensed again. "She just…kept talking and talking about being friends and whatnot."

"Everyone followed her like an idiot. The boys is stupidly charmed and the girls wanted to be her friend."

I chuckled, earning me an eyebrow from him. "Why though? Is she the smartest kid in the class?"

"She is."

And judging from Tenne Hanim's description of Ariel then…

"I am the lowest,"

As I have guessed, I won't verbalize it though.

He then continued, "She kept pestering me when I had my alone time. Sneaking from the roof, the bushes and the corners just to talk,"

"What kind of person does that?" His shoulders started to get more relaxed. "She's showing off, I tell you!"

No, that's a clear sign that she is genuinely interested in befriending you. I know this very well back during my years at the public madrasah and Lancer madrasah.

Still, he is starting to get comfortable. The more he speaks the more he lowers his guard.

"Perhaps she truly wants to be friends with you," I suggested.

He waves his hand. "No way, she kept calling me stupid and even outright being jerk to me."

"Oh, do tell,"

"She always says, 'How sad you sit alone' and 'You are lucky you have someone like me looking after you' – her haughty tone, I will never forget how much I hate that."

Wait, this is no mere innocent intention. Where do kids learn to say such things?

"And she sometimes embarrasses me in front of her friends, bringing me to her group even though boys and girls are not allowed to mingle too much."

I am worried about the youths of this land now.

"And worse of all, she is better than me in every way!"

…

I observe how quick his breaths are, the boy has been aching to tell someone this. This is akin to how me and my friends used to rant about hardships of school, but for Ariel though, this is more than just a rant.

There is one question that I need an answer from him.

"Suppose she is here, what will happen?" I asked him.

He took his time to breathe and then said, "I will not move."

"Reason?"

He longingly looked down for a moment, a hint of his fear subdued a little. "She has been going about this and that about First Reach. Heck, she even trained me for a while before…"

"She lost her parents. I reckon it was very recent, correct?"

He nodded. "She stopped coming to train me–jerk, how can she not be strong like me? I lived my whole life never knowing who my parents were yet she got sad over hers gone."

Ariel seemed to have a skewed perception on viewing relationships and family. How he expresses his sentiments is quite abnormal. For him to make light of someone's relative death is a huge sign of the result of whoever raises him. Well, he is ten years old, but surely he picked something during those years.

I haven't felt the grief of losing a relative. Most of my family, my core and extended ones are still around me at the present. I don't have the empathic link to Ariel right now, but…

I do think there is one way out of this situation for him.

Once again I tried to approach him. He didn't recoil like before, but still cautious.

"W-What are you trying to do?"

"Do you want to beat her?" I said.

"Y-yes…" He mouthed.

"Come with me,"

"W-What?! You are trying to carry me again like a sack again?!"

"Yes."

The boy tried to find an escape, but of course I know the result. This time, I lifted him by the arm and raised him like a cute pet I had once.

"Put me down!"

Then I put him on my back, piggybacking him just like before. I held his legs tight and began to climb up again. He still quivered, but didn't scream much. I do see he close his eyes so…

As soon as we reached the top, the academy district came to full view. I put him down and he marveled at the sight. I know the feeling, seeing the scenery from above after such a long climb is an experience itself.

"What do you think?"

He jolted from his trance and became nervous again realizing he is at the top right now.

"I-It's f-fine, I-I guess…" He said while looking away.

I chuckled. "Sure, sure…well, you want to beat her, right?"

I moved to the edge where the last part of First Reach begins: The Leap.

"A-Are you t-thinking that I s-should k-kill myself?!"

"Oi, where did you come up with that idea? I am genuinely insulted." I jokingly stated.

He close the distance between us, and as he is right beside of me, he looked down. He instinctively grabbed my legs.

"Y-You d-do it f-first!"

"Nuh-uh," I crossed my arms. "You have to be the one who leaps, I am just someone who guides you."

He looked down again.

"I-Impossible!" He stammered while retreating.

"Then what will that girl–wait, what is her name?"

"Horiya.."

"Horiya, right, so what will Horiya say if you back down from this!"

"What would this help anyway? I'll be dead by the time I hit the ground!" He didn't stammer for once.

"She is not here, so that means you succeed before her."

"But I don't even climb here! You took me up."

"Indeed I am, but this last part is the most important among all."

We stare at each other, not backing down with our words.

And so, I act instead.

"Fine, if that is what you want, then have fun climbing down!"

I dash towards the edge and leap…but this us just an illusion. From where he can see me, he would think I leaped, but I simply perform a flip and scratched the nearby surface just below the edge.

"W-What?! D-Don't leave me here! I am sorry," I feel terrible for fooling the boy.

I will act as his guide through and through. That means doing the rite as it was intended. He will the be one to leap first.

Right now I am hanging on a tree branch I could hold into. The leap I have done was a ruse. I took a leap of faith in doing this. Hoping he didn't see through my ploy since I am still directly beneath him.

I could hear a sob, but I have to hold myself. He had to decide this. Please, Ariel, have faith.

"I k-knew it, everyone doesn't care about me…"

I do, I am trying my best. God, this is hard. I don't like doing this to someone.

He didn't move for a long time and my grip is starting to weaken. Come on, Ariel, your classmates managed to do it, you can too.

"There you are!" A new voice came in and I know who it belonged.

"F-Fake nanny?!"

"Why are you alone? Where is Hoodie?"

"Who are you talking about?"

"Ack, my bad, the Lancer."

"You mean the weirdo?"

"Close enough, but where is he?"

"He left me behind, he jumped."

"That's strange, I didn't see him below, are you sure he is not hiding somewhere?"

"I know what I saw, Fake Nanny."

"Anyway, the sun is about to set, we should go down."

"Huh, why?"

"To get you back to the dorm, silly,"

…

"Why are you hesitant, Ariel?"

"I-I…don't know…"

"Come on, you want to lay down on your bunk, I know every boy wants that~"

"That's creepy, nanny."

Another silence, come on, Ariel, jump.

"E-Eh? Ariel! What are you doing? STOP!"

And there he goes, it is crude, but he did it. I ejected myself and follow the suit. I have to steer him back to the pond or else his bones are going to crushed.

The suddent touch startled him, but by the time he can react, I have corrected his course and both of us hit the fluid surface of the pond.

Ariel is losing his balance, he is about to drown. I can hardly breathe. My mother's cloak is getting heavier, so I have to unclipped it.

I swam back to the surface, carrying the boy in my arms.

As we reached the surface, I took a moment to catch my breath and looked beside to find Ariel hardly breathing. I pumped his chest to get the water out of his body. The boy remained unconscious, but his breathing is stable, and soon enough another splash came to my view.

Tenne Hanim with a scowl to match Ariel's swam towards us.

She didn't speak a word because we knew what needed to be done. I carried Ariel on my shoulder with her guiding me to the infirmary.

We put him on a bunk, and the nurse there simply told us Ariel was not used to the exhilaration and he needed to rest. It might take longer than I expected for him to recover.

Since my clothes and Tenne Hanim's are still being dried. We opted to use a faculty uniform. Surprisingly enough, she looked proper albeit still maintaining her loose veil.

Once we are outside though…

"I can't believe you just did that," she said in a low voice, trying not to disturb anyone. "You left him at the tree!"

"You are too soft on him, I need to take some measures." I defended myself.

"Yeah? But you are tricking him!"

"He won't go anywhere, the boy is too wrapped up in his own world."

"And you are forcing him too much to crawl out." She countered back.

"Loose, you treat him too well. He forgot to think of himself."

"So what do you want me to do? Be harsh like you? These kids need a gentle soul, I am willing to be one even if they called me many names."

"Then you lack conviction then," I argued. "Ariel called you 'fake nanny' and even pointed out why you did last week? Don't you ever think of what others called you?"

"They can say whatever they want," She firmly said. "I have heard worse."

"Besides, nice to say I lack conviction when you are hesitant to accept my request."

"That's because I need to consult with The Receptionist first."

"Aren't your job description is to help citizens? God, you don't even have a clue of it, don't you?"

"I have to check up with the receptionist because we don't want to accept commissions that are shady at best." I reasoned.

"And mine is shady? It's that what you are saying?

"You don't even tell me what it is until we reach this place!"

"Oh God forbid me asking for a favor from who is supposed to take one. You had it good by just helping people, you get paid!"

"Don't you dare lecture me on my job. I worked for a decade to reach where I am." I can feel my veins are about to pop the more I argue with her.

"And I have to go through hell to reach where I am now. That means no cozy hovels, food, and school. I have to…do many bad things,"

She continued, "Ariel is from Verdoyant. So, I know well what he has been through. You are the one who is not supposed to lecture me when you have it all what I–no, all of us young people from Verdoyant wanted."

I was left speechless. The words are getting heavier and so does my mouth. Anything that came out of her lips felt like thorns stabbing my heart. Even for a brief second my head was clear, I realized why Tenne Hanim and Ariel had a link.

It's just that one side didn't see each other's view. Ariel never sees how caring this woman is and I…might never understand what they have been through. Words that were about to escape from my mouth felt like a wind if I let it out.

I didn't respond back and she doesn't have the intention to continue this further. Good choice, I don't want to put more stress on my sleep.

Still, I feel regret as we parted without words. We simply went our separate ways. As the evening approaches, my mind wanders back to the nearby communal shrine.

A brief peace of mind is what I need now.

…

To Bayan Souleska,

Peace be upon you (I noticed I didn't write this on my previous letters so here it is)

Today was not what I hoped for. I woke up late, got dragged to do a favor, and I have to deal with a distant child. I didn't set foot in the bureau for more than half an hour.

Also, the favor I was asked about was to oversee a First Reach. I think you are familiar with it since you are old and all.

That favor ended up badly. I got an earful from Tenne Hanim–the woman who helped lancers during the previous commission I mentioned in my previous letter.

I don't know if I did wrong or maybe she is not used to what I did to the distant child I mentioned earlier. I forcefully carried the boy and he screamed and sobbed. It took me a while to realize I am hurting him.

And because I realized I have used his hatred for another girl he loathed. I manipulated the boy to take the final leap. I wish I could write more to tell you thoroughly, but I am afraid today's events have left me tired.

With regards, Noah Sadiik

Lancer Guild