The Most Library of Libraries

A short trip that depending on how you counted either had almost no room for conversation or was filled with plenty of discussion. While the amount of topics covered remained one, the amount of words used to discuss this one topic took up the entire time it took to walk to the library.

“Aito, would you mind asking something that’s been on my mind for a while? Ever since you first asked me out, in fact. Something I’ve been thinking about all three days and nights since then. Do you really, you know, need me?”

“Of course I need you!”

“But why?”

“Well, you probably heard that bet I made. That’s why.”

“Does winning or losing one bet really matter that much? If you were to get a few of us to go out with you, or maybe even just one of us, and then lost the bet, would that really be so bad? To me it still sounds like you’d be getting a lot out of it. And even then, I’m just another girl, another body for your count. It’s not like you need me in particular.”

“Well, yeah, I don’t know what makes you unique yet. I can’t deny that.”

“Which means literally anyone else would do just as fine.”

“Maybe. But regardless of if it’s for anything that’s unique to you or not, the fact still remains that I really do need you. If you’ll have me, at least. I’ve come to realise that’s not a given.”

“Ah, no, I wasn't trying to brush you off or anything like that. I said we’ll go on a date, so we’ll go on a date. I’m just having a bit of a hard time wrapping my mind around… what you actually need me for.”

“So you want me to explain why this bet is so important, then?”

“If you’re capable of that in an understandable way, then yes. If not, then no.”

“Well, If it just was Riku I don’t think I’d mind. Maybe I would even lose on purpose. You’re right that he isn’t bad enough of a guy to give me anything too unreasonable to do, even if I hypothetically, for some reason, were to lose. But Yuki, the thing is that as much as I like Riku, he’s one lazy dude. Even if he won, chances are he’d just feel like thinking of something would be a total bother and outsource the work of humiliating me to Mio - his sister.. That’s the type of guy he is. And if you knew what type of girl his sister is you wouldn’t want to risk that happening.”

“If she really is that bad, your hypothetical sounds a lot more mean than lazy. If he didn’t care he could just let you go, you know? Call the bet off and pretend like nothing happened. Or since you get a bunch of dates out of it, maybe better than as if nothing happened.”

“Exactly! That’s what I’ve told him a bunch of times already. It’d be great if he could just start picking up the slack and doing things for himself for a change, you know? But the cards don’t tend to fall that way. So here I am, desperately hustling for some girlfriends, toiling away day and night for the slightest chance not to be forced into the pits of hell.”

“That’s quite a poetic way to say you’re going to get bullied, by the sound of it.”

“I’m not going to deny that.”

“Guess we have a date to get around to then. Right?”

“Actually, you’ve asked me why I want you, but let me ask you in turn. Are you sure about this, Yuki? Going on a date with me, of all people?”

Not a question that in any way gave an impression of confidence, considering he felt the need to ask at all but after his previous experience he had to.

“I could ask you the same, you know. Wait, no, I already did. But if you want a genuine answer, I don’t know much about you, but I also don’t like bullying. So sure, I’ll give it a go.”

“Thank you.”

“I do have one doubt left though.”

“And that would be?”

“It sounds a lot like Mio likes being mean to you, if I take what you’re saying at face value. But, why would she even act like that in the first place? I’ve only seen her for a few minutes total in my entire life so far, but to me it looked and sounded a lot like she liked you.”

“As a reminder of how much of an asshat I am, in her own words.”

“I see. That makes sense. But I still don't think I'm willing to just take your word for it. Maybe your friend has his own circumstances? Or maybe you’re hiding things from me? Maybe this is all one big conspiracy set up between the rest of you solely for the purpose of humiliating me? Or maybe it’s just a normal date, I guess, as terrifying as that would be..:”

“Either way, we seem to have arrived."

It was at this point of the conversation that the two of them arrived at the library, which while not part of the school building itself still stood not-so-tall almost right outside the main exit of the school(or entrance, if going the other way), resulting in a brief lull in the conversation as the two of them ever so momentarily got busy with the opening and closing of doors — first the two sequential doors that one had to pass through to exit the school building, soon after also the five you’d need to pass through to enter the library. A wholly unnecessary effort, but the person that ordered the library to be built only specified the size of the thing and was not in the possession of the wit(or investment in the outcome) to look over how that would be accomplished, which accompanied by a very creative and eccentric construction crew left the tiny town with a scar it would not forget any time soon: a library more of a maze of various doorways than a place fit to borrow books, read them, study, or any other task normal people would have hoped to accomplish at a normal library in a normal town in which normal people lived.

Navigating said maze until they found somewhere a person could reasonably sit, in this case a pair of chairs on either side of a long table positioned at what most likely would be the corner of the library furthest from the entrance, the two of them did what most people would and sat down. Aito attempted to take the chair on the side closer to the wall, putting it in the very corner and with the wall behind it. But, as fate would have it this arrangement did not satisfy Yuki.

“Aito, would you mind if I sat in the corner instead?”

No explanation, no reasons given. Just that question on its own. Being the gentleman he at some very select times could choose to be, Aito saw no reason to inquire further.

“Sure”, Aito shrugged, leaving his previous seat to instead take up positions at the opposite side of the table. It's not like where they chose to sit mattered, so if Yuki had preferences, letting her choose seemed the best bet. If anything, doing everything the way she wanted him too could be a cheap way for him to buy some of her affection, even if just a little bit.

And so the two of them at last found themselves seated together, in an attempt at something that may or may not be a date. In name it surely was, but arguing for the proper mood being present in this situation would be a significantly more difficult task even for Aito.

“So, what do we do now? Do you know?”

“Maybe, but I’m thinking I’d check with you first. Do you happen to have any ideas?”

Out of ideas himself, Aito chose to bounce ideas off his partner before giving his own response to her inquiry.

“No. My mind is completely blank at the moment. There’s absolutely nothing in here.”

Yuki made sure to point emphatically at her own head to drive the point home.

“I guess I should have seen that coming. Well, in that case, how about… I don’t know, tell me about something interesting that happened to you recently? Actually, scratch that. Just tell me something, doesn’t matter if it’s interesting or not.”

“Even if you tell me to just tell you something, it’s not like it’s that easy to just think of something, you know.”

“I get what you mean. But you clearly go to school, so how about that? Anything on your mind recently? Trouble, drama, rumours, complaints? Or failing that, homework?”

“Well, I do have one thing…”

“Go on. Interesting, utterly boring, or anything inbetween, I’m willing to give it a listen.”

“There’s this assignment we got recently. A writing one. Normally I like to write, at least if it’s not about myself, but the topic this time is ‘your worst fears and deepest secrets’ and I feel a lot like, are they really expecting us to just share our innermost secrets, the things we've kept bottled up inside just like… that? Who knows what people could be hiding inside? The teacher could have to read some pretty nasty stuff, you know? Well, I guess they had it coming, giving out an assignment like that.”

"Sure, you're not overthinking it?"

"No, I'm sure I almost definitely am. Because I always do that."

“If you’re aware you’re overthinking it, why not choose to think about things differently? Just write whatever and be done with it.”

“Do you really think it’s that easy to just stop?”

“I don’t know, I don’t have much experience with thinking all that much about things,” Aito shrugged.

“I’ve heard as much.”

“Wait, really? We’re not even in the same class, let alone the same year, and yet you’ve heard of me? I’m that famous?”

“No, I just spoke to your sister after you asked us out. I barely even know who everyone in my own class is, so sadly I’m pretty sure I’d have had no idea you existed if that friend of yours hadn’t randomly run up to me when I was about to go home.”

“That’s kind of disappointing, to be honest. Here I was thinking I’d already become famous, but if anything I guess I should take this as a sign that I still have far left to go.”

“Personally I’d think remaining unknown would be more comfortable.”

“Well, it’s all just a matter of perspective, Yuki. Maybe you’ll understand one day. But judging by what you said, your mannerisms, really your everything, I take it you’re not entirely comfortable around other people?”

“I wouldn’t particularly say so, no.”

“And since you clearly have those feelings of discomfort, why don’t we solve that then?”

“I just said I don’t feel that way.”

“No, you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“You-”

“Since this isn’t going much of anywhere, let’s say I do feel uncomfortable around people even if just for the sake of argument. So, maybe you’d be right about how I felt in that hypothetical scenario, but, I’m not sure I’d want your help anyway. Why would something like that need to be solved, anyway? If I don’t want to be around certain people, or large enough groups of people or whatever, isn’t that my choice?”

“What do you count as a large group of people?”

“I don’t know, maybe… 1… 2… 3… 4… or so?”

At the same time as she counted out loud, Yuki held up fingers on her left hand, counting them off one by one until all five were raised. While not a gesture of much significance in itself, it raised some semblance of recollection within Aito’s mind.

“Wait a minute… you’re the girl that couldn’t count!”

“I can assure you I surely most assuredly can count!”

“Then prove it!”

For some reason standing up slightly and slamming his hands down onto the table as he spoke, Aito pressed Yuki for details on her lack of mathematical skills. Carried along by the momentum he’d already gained, Aito leant in further towards Yuki when he probably should have done the opposite, but he was carried along by the steam he’d already picked up, enough that he barely noticed their fingers brushing against each other as he placed his hands on the table, or Yuki pulling away as they did.

“I’ve gotten perfect scores on every math test since I started high school! How is that not being able to count?”

“So can you count to ten, right in front of me, right here, and right now?”

“Of course I can.”

“Alright, then do it.”

“But that doesn’t mean I need to do anything just because you tell me to.”

“So you can’t.”

“But you have no means of making me do it either.”

“Dammit. You’re right.”

Aito thought this would be his chance to find something he could help Yuki with and thus gain her trust, but if she already both could do math(as long as it didn’t include both numbers and the counting of said numbers) and wasn’t afraid of people, what else was there he could help with?

Actually, why not just ask? In particular, a certain topic of conversation that had been brought up earlier could maybe be helpful here.

"Let’s ignore the math for now. You talked about how you needed to write down your worst fears or something, and apparently your worst fear is not people but I’m thinking it could be counting. That said, since you don’t want to talk about numbers, why don't you tell me about something else you think is scary, but that's not actually your, you know, actual worst fear? Just one of many instead of the very worst."

“Why not my worst fear?”

Aito’s real reason: he wanted to find some way to gain her trust, and helping her seemed like one way to accomplish that, but he didn’t have the confidence to say he’d be able to help her with her actual worst fear, especially if it were to be something very dramatic and hard for Aito to deal with as well(like heights or spiders).

So if the truth would paint a less than flattering image, his only choice seemed to lie.

“Since we’re just going on this one date today for now, I was thinking that whatever your worst fear is, we couldn’t probably solve it with that little time. So it would make more sense to start small and then work our way upwards, maybe on a second date and third date or something like that. Now go on, why don’t you tell me something you’re afraid of?”

"I’m not sure I see the logic in your reasoning, but I suppose I could try."

"Go on then. What do you fear, Yuki?”

“You know the stairs at the opposite end of the hallway to where your classroom is? The ones going down from the third floor to the second floor? The very spirally ones.”

“Yeah, I use them all the time since they’re faster than going all the way across the hallway to the other set of stairs.”

"That’s what I fear. Going down those stairs. You know how the wall stops you from seeing what's at the bottom until you round the last corner? I always feel like I'm being watched, like something could pop up out of nowhere, or maybe it's already there but I just can't see it yet. My steps grow heavier, and it feels harder to breathe, a-and-.

“Are you messing with me?”

“No? Why would I be?”

"Never mind me, go on about your fear of… that stuff."

"You're not taking me seriously."

"No, I am, seriously."

"Then prove it."

"Why should I need to prove I'm taking you seriously when you don't have to prove you can count?"

"Because those two things are on entirely different levels in how much they can affect interpersonal relationships."

Momentarily taken aback by the thought-out response, Aito went quiet for a minute (which certainly is a long enough amount of time for things to start to start feeling rather awkward for the kind of people not comfortable with silence), but he had done some modicum of preparation for moments like these during the days before. Even if briefly knocked down by Yuki's wit, Aito had just the thing for managing to get back on his feet - the ability to pretend to be an actual nice and helpful person for a few seconds.

"Alright, I'll prove it."

"I'm all ears."

“You know that task you needed help with? You can just pretend what you just told me is your actual deepest fear, and write about that. That's what I was thinking about. See, your problem has been solved, just like that! Starting today you have a deep, pathological fear of spiral staircases, Yuki.”

"It took you more than a minute to think of that?"

"Let's ignore that for the moment and instead make sure that you remember your newfound deep, pathological fear of spiral staircases by saying it again."

“It’s not new because I had that before today, but I'll keep it in mind. What now?”

"If you already did before, that makes things even easier!"

Aito responded while giving a huge thumbs up with a smile on his face.

"But.. it's probably about time I let you be on your way, isn't it?"

"Just like that? We haven't even agreed on a second date or anything yet."

"A second date? Even I can tell that I probably messed this pretty badly. We’ve been arguing the whole time, haven’t we?"

"What about second chances? Maybe you deserve one."

"Do you seriously think I deserve one?"

“Hmm… If we look at things objectively, probably not. You're already going out with several other girls, and you tried to touch me without permission (even if it was just my hands) and you’ve been talking down at me the whole time.. Strictly speaking I probably shouldn't give you any second chances, right? I think that's how it usually works?"

"Probably, but should you really be asking me that?"

"Because that's all just secondhand information. Someone told me not to trust the kind of guy that does things like that while on a date. And she was probably right."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. You gave me a chance and I ruined it. I’m not sure I should be asking you for even more than that, let alone another date.”

"But… this isn't much of a date, is it?"

"It depends on your definition of date, but no, it's not and that's why I would argue I failed at it."

"That's not what I meant. What I'm saying that if we're not going to do a second date, let's just not count this one and have another first date. Besides, it’s only been like twenty minutes at best and what kind of poor excuse of a date ends after just twenty minutes? So why don’t we just choose not to count the time we’ve spent here and get our actual first date started already? You did say I was bad at counting, right?"

"You are, yeah.”

“Yeah, I’m the worst at math.”

“You said the opposite literally just before this.”

“I’m the worst at math when I need to be, and the best at math when I need to be that instead.”

“That makes like zero sense.”

“Zero? That’s like, a hundred percent, right? Solid logic, right?”

“Maybe just solid enough to convince me."

"Great! But just in case, if you do touch me without my permission again, or, or intrude on my personal space too much, then I… can't really do much myself but my sister will probably make you pay."

"That sounds scary, but I'm not sure your sister will be with us if we go on a date."

“Oh, no. She will be.”

"Where will we be going again?"

"Oh, maybe I didn't tell you? I'm going to do the exact opposite of what I'm supposed to."

“And with that you’re saying…?”

“I'm bringing you home.”

With Aito dumbfounded as to why Yuki would want to continue being with him and an until now unmentioned librarian that had been hoping to shush the two of them since their conversation started still lost in the labyrinthine hallways of a certain small-town library, Aito's first date with Yuki came to an end, only to make room for a second first.