Canto XV: A Posse Ad Esse

It was a pleasantly warm morning in Carcabuey, and its inhabitants were all hard at work: Hadrinyan and Gladstone were guiding some of the year’s first tourists around the village, making sure that their experience was as pleasant as possible. Hadrinyan was acting like a proper maid should act: Gentle, elegant and strict. In her downtime, when nobody needed to be guided, Olivia dropped by one of the village’s sports centres to practise her baseball. Fetail, meanwhile, was in the building next to the sports centre Olivia frequented: A primary school, where she’d been asked to introduce the kids to philosophy. She agreed to do it, mainly because she didn't want the kids to end up like her: Pessimistic and cynical. And in front of the school but facing away from it was Carcabuey’s library, where Voytek was studying books like The Prince by Machiavelli and Leviathan, by Hobbes.

Thunderchild and Regina were a few metres to the north of the school, just across a road which exited the village. What were they doing? Swimming, of course: They were checking out the public swimming pools there. And they were having one hell of a time! If only Thunderchild would stop teaching bystanders how to make homemade torpedoes, she’d stop getting arrested!

All that was happening on the left side of the village. Meanwhile, on the right side, Imperator had actually bothered to drop by her restaurant, and she was teaching the staff how to properly cook boar meat, which had to be checked by the village’s vet to make sure it was safe to eat. The locals were grateful to her, as she had significantly curtailed the local boar population, which had been spiralling out of control and causing problems. Almudena was of course busy with delivering letters and packages to her clients, and occasionally checking on what the villagers were gossiping about: Knowing what was going on in the village would make things smoother for her.

However, one person remained: Godofreda, who had gone out with her usual swimsuit-jacket combination. She was waddling alone around Calle Carnicería, the road which went around the back of the castle hill. What was she doing? Good question! She’d accompanied Fetail to the school where the lazy fox-girl had to teach for the day, and then she’d gone where her legs would take her. Godofreda looked a bit sad, because she had to be away from Fetail, and away from her against her will. It’s for the greater good, Godofreda told herself as she walked on the sidewalk.

She walked on until she arrived at a long building, which was supposed to be some sort of rural apartment, and sat down on the stone bench in front of it. She then slapped her cheeks and balled her fists. ‘’No, no more being gloomy, Godofreda! I’ll get to see her later, and she’s probably having fun, so it’s all good. I mustn't be selfish, and I mustn't let myself be defined only by my romantic interests: I am a Wegener, and a great one at that: I will get Fetail to fall for me, I will get to travel through Europe at my own pace, and I will find out what these weird structures are: Go, Goddy, go: You can do it!’’

Godofreda managed to cheer herself up once again, so she got up and started walking again. ‘’Talking about my new Fetail-conquering strategy should work: Since she’s a lazy ball of fluff, surely, she’ll get attached to me if I keep doing everything she considers a pain for her: Cooking for her, cleaning for her, and keeping her happy!’’

In short, she’d been acting a bit like her maid… Or like a housewife, but with way more energy than the average housewife. Godofreda walked on until she found two stone benches further down the sidewalk, and stopped between them, spotting something. ‘’There’s something here! A book? Let’s see… Eh? Mein Gott, isn't this a copy of A Silent Skyward H!? Its existence had gone from a possibility to actuality!"

It was a tale which was said to be inspired by real events. It featured a team of 3 young, WW2-era female ace pilots. After restoring a glider-shaped German jet bomber to its former glory, were entrusted with the task of punishing evildoers around the world.

"But they all disappeared into the night, didn't they? I heard some rumours about a sixth and even a seventh volume, but nobody has been able to find any of those!" It was then that she noticed the number on the book's spine. "Ah."

It was, in fact, the seventh volume. And it was emitting an energy which she would usually associate with curse tablets. "Curse tablets are usually filled with the energy of those who hold grudges, or those with unfinished business in life. It must be something like that, then! What should I do with it, though? If I leave it here, it might curse me, and I don't want that, no way! So come along, then: Your grudge won't go unheard!" What consequences would taking the book along have? She didn't know, but her curiosity told her that it was the right thing to do.

Godofreda tucked the cursed book under her arm and began skipping along. She felt a slight change in the book's energy, which had become less hostile. "Heh heh heh, I did the right thing! Well done, me: What a great find!" She didn't know who was the one holding a grudge, but she felt that she had appeased them, and she was proud of herself. "I'll tell Fetail later, she's sure to praise me a lot!" Perhaps a bit too proud. Would she still be proud if she saw what was on the book’s back cover? How would she react after seeing the three yellow hooks around a yellow dot?

The energetic dog-girl cheerfully continued her trip around the back of the hill, occasionally stopping to take in the views. "Wow, this area is very pretty! I have to thank the Spanish part of my family in Córdoba for pointing me in the direction of such a wonderful place. And I'll have to remind them that I'm not dead, ha ha ha!"

And thus, her trip around the hill ended, as she arrived at a street, Calle Ancha, which would lead her back into the village. Deciding that it would be a good idea, the Professor followed it until she made a sharp turn to the left and headed down a street there: She was at that famous intersection near one of the village's supermarkets.

"Now that I think about it, I'm not too far away from my friends: Indeed, a few streets to her right was the school and the sports centre. "Hm, where to go… I know: Let's visit the park!" There was a park right next to the sports centre, and to Godofreda, it looked like a pleasant place to hang out at… Because it was. She took the street to her left and went up it, turning to the left when it joined up with a street which went north and another one which went east.

She passed by what appeared to be an impressive gated garden behind a bus stop. "There's the park! The entrance is elsewhere, though. Let's go, let's go!" She crossed to the other side of the road, using a crossing near the bus stop. She turned a corner and took a few steps to the south before crossing again, following the narrow sidewalk around the round park. "Oh? Could it be… She's here! Awww yeah! Wait for me, Clocky!" She was giddy with excitement: She could smell Fetail! She was taking a break from teaching the lil' buggers, and she thought that the park would be a nice place to relax in… But she hadn't accounted for Nebuchadnezzar's presence!

Godofreda made it to the entrance and made her way to the eastern part of the park, not far from its central fountain. And there she was: Fetail was sitting on a bench, located in front of a U-shaped bush, with a peaceful look on her face. But she was all alone in the park! I won't let her be lonely! And she rushed to help… Even if her help was probably unwanted and unneeded.

"Heeeeeeey, Cloooocky! I'm here!" She rushed over to her friend and sat down next to her, looking as happy as she could be. She held the book up to Fetail's gas mask and said: "Look at what I found! Cool, isn’t it?"

Fetail patted her friend's head, heartened by her presence, which was in fact wanted and needed. "Haaaah. I've been having a rough day, but your boundless energy is helping cheer me up a bit. Those lil' buggers really won't pay attention, what a pain…" She looked at the book Godofreda was holding up to her face. And she jumped out of the bench!

She looked thoroughly spooked. So Godofreda went from being surprised at her reaction, to laughing heartily at the goofy face Fetail had made.

"Spooky, isn't it? It's a cursed book, Clocky! Found it lying around the back of the castle hill. But…" Godofreda quickly got up and hugged her friend. "I'm sorry for spooking you!" She looked quite guilty.

"Haaaah. You're a very good girl, Godofreda. And I'm glad you're my friend, but please don't make that face, it's making me feel bad. Now, about that damned book. Haaah, what a pain it is to deal with things like these. Anyways, that thing is bad news. You're a magnet for cursed objects, but this takes the cake." Fetail was still a bit startled, so she stroked her friend's head to calm herself down.

"Is it really that bad? It looks mild enough to me." Godofreda was very pleased by how nice Fetail was to her. One step closer to having her fall for me!, she thought. "Haaaah. It is bad, it is: You're just used to it; There’s a bunch of nasty things in there, so watch out. Also, your thoughts are showing up on your face, Goddy. You'll have to try much harder than that if you want to get anywhere."

Godofreda smiled brightly at her friend's reply, still clinging to her. "Clockyyyy! Did you just acknowledge that I'm on the right track?! Yaaaay!"

While Godofreda cheered, Fetail shrugged and replied: "Haaaah. I didn’t say anything, you overly excitable grass-eater: I told you, I can't get too attached to anyone. Anyways, I have to go back now. I'll be back home for lunch… You know how much I like your cooking. In return, since I have nothing else to do this afternoon, I'll spend some time with you. What a pain that is to be immortal, what a pain that is to deal with eternal boredom."

With those Fetail-like comments, she got up and left, but not before giving her friend's head one last gentle pat.

Godofreda watched her go, and shuddered. "I'm falling for her all over again! Fetail, you beautiful ball of sloth, I'm never letting go of you!" Still swooning over her beloved, she decided to go back home to take a good long bath.

She went back the way she'd come from, passing by the bus stop again, and walking across the street which led to the intersection next to the supermarket. But this time, she walked south, eventually arriving at the ATM near the square. The villagers were heartened to see that one of the village's most beloved figures was in a great mood, and they wished her the best: Many of the village's elderly were lonely, so she acted as a sort of cute granddaughter for them. So, of course, she was popular and very well-liked. They all casually ignored the cursed book, as only those tuned towards magic could sense its energy.

However, even though everyone liked her, there was one girl who did not understand Godofreda: Triana, who was sitting on a bench in the village square, looking at some pigeons squabbling over bread.

She had developed a habit of observing Godofreda when she passed by. But she'd had enough of observing, as it yielded no results. Triana seized the moment and made her way to Godofreda. "Hello, Miss Triana… Or should I call you Miss Honourable Mayor? You look like you want to ask something, so ask away!" She considered Triana to be a bit odd, but liked how honest she was when she dropped her act.

Triana took a deep breath and dropped her prim-and-proper girl act. She'd get rid of the question which had been disrupting her sleep for countless days. "Tell me! Tell me how you do it to find the middle point between beast and man! I understand Fetail, who does not let her emotions get in her way. I understand Imperator, who moves solely on instinct and emotions. But you, you've found a middle point!" She looked deranged: This was the real Triana, a product of countless years of trolling others online, and of pretending to be a model citizen.

Godofreda didn't really know how to answer that question. "A middle line, hmm… Guts, the answer is guts! I just try very hard, and it works!" The answer astonished Triana. It made no sense at all, but at the same time, it was a perfect answer.

"Thank you, Godofreda. I understand everything now, and I'll finally be able to sleep soundly now." Triana bowed to Godofreda and then disappeared into the town hall. "What a strange girl! Well, she's rotten to the core, but I guess some people are like that. Let's go home!" Godofreda waved at Almudena, who was delivering letters nearby, and made her way home, passing by Imperator's restaurant, which was full of tourists.

Godofreda finally stopped in front of her home's door, and opened it with the key she kept in her pocket. "Aw yeah, finally home!" She bounded up the stairs, opened the second door, and left the book she was carrying on a small table, located in the entrance hall which led to the kitchen, the living room, the closet and also led to the corridor which in turn led to the bathrooms and other rooms.

"And now… Bath time! For the sake of finding the ultimate bath!" A few minutes after that proclamation, she was soaking in the bath and scrubbing her hair after having cleaned her body: "Awwww yeah, this is the only thing those dawned Romans got right: Bathing! Nothing quite like it, no sir!" To her, Rome meant curse tablets, but it also meant bathing and great archaeological discoveries.

Godofreda couldn't remember when she had started loving the art of taking a good bath, but she could remember why: It was due to her passion for archeology. She had come to understand why ancient cultures appreciated it so much! "I wish the others were now, though: It's always great fun to have them around! I wish Hare-Hare would hold back a bit, though… It's a bit hard to take a bath when somebody treats shampoo like a weapon!"

Apart from Olivia-Hadrinyan, who took her baths alone and in another bathroom, the rest of her friends used the one she was in: It was spacious enough to fit 3 people, but with the addition of Voytek, it was quite cramped. But that didn't make it any less fun for her! "Fetail still won't let me wash her back, how mean of her. She says she can do it herself, which is true… But she should let me do it!" Godofreda nodded to herself and rinsed her hair.

"She's grown less weary of me in the bath, so that's good! She'll even let me clean her tails, which she wouldn't let me do before. Just you wait, Clocky: At this rate, I'll be washing your back in no time!" Godofreda was hyping herself up, and considering that it might be time to leave the bath. But no: She heard the door opening, she turned her head and saw Voytek standing there. She looked like she was remembering something nice.

"Ah, Holly! Come in and join me, don't just stand around!" It took her a few minutes, as she stopped to reminisce in vague memories of the past, but she eventually joined Godofreda in the bath.

"Do you want me to wash your back, Holly? In fact, please let me do it: Your skin is so pretty!"

Voytek replied with a nod. "We are humbled by your praise, but we must say that your skin is far prettier than ours: It has not known the pressure of ruling a kingdom." And so, Godofreda got to cleaning her friend's back and wings.

When Godofreda finished that, Voytek cleaned the rest of herself up, and followed Godofreda in getting changed into the pyjamas they had bought on their trip to Montserrat, once they exited the bath. "Strange is the night where black stars rise, and strange moons circle through the skies, but stranger still is Lost Carcosa." Voytek said that while they dumped their dirty clothes into the washing machine, located in the kitchen, and switched it on.

Godofreda looked confused, so Voytek explained it to her. "We found those words in a book we found at the library. It was deeply troubling for us: Carcosa is a name connected to the downfall of our kingdom… We'd rather not talk about it now, as it is a matter that is better off discussed at another, more appropriate moment." Voytek looked quite uncomfortable with the subject.

Godofreda held her friend's hand to encourage her. "That's fine, Voytek! We've all got stuff we'd rather not talk about. But if you ever need to talk to someone, don't hesitate to tell us!"

Those words helped Voytek quite a lot: "A ruler must communicate regularly with her ministers and subjects… We understand. Thank you, Godofreda. We shall aim to communicate more with our court and our subjects. And we shall also aim to uncover the relationship between the Carcosa of this land and the Carcosa which brought our kingdom down."

Godofreda felt that she could be useful to her friend, so she spoke: "Hm… If you find something related to archaeology during your investigation, just let me know!" She pointed her thumb at herself: "Please do not underestimate me just because I'm small: I'm a professional!"

Voytek nodded along, mentally jotting down everything her friend said: "You have proven yourself to be useful to us, and a good friend. We look forward to your cooperation." So the pair shook hands. "And I look forward to helping you out, Voytek!"

The nice atmosphere which had been created in the kitchen didn't last for long: They were interrupted by Imperator, who'd barged into the kitchen without a care for what they thought about it. "Here we go, gobi!" And she dumped what she was carrying on her back onto the kitchen table: It was a heavy-looking bag of mixed herbs.

Imperator turned to the stunned pair, and gave them a thumbs-up. "I gathered these all by myself, gobi. They should last for a few weeks, but I should start using them today, gobi. So…Who's up for mixed herb spaghetti with breaded chicken, gobi?!"

Godofreda jumped at the mention of such a delectable meal. "Ooooh, I am! It sounds great!" Voytek shrugged: "We have not tasted those plates before. Very well, we shall gladly eat them." The doorbell rang, and Voytek went downstairs to check who it was.

While Voytek was busy with that, Imperator rubbed Godofreda's head. "You're cooking for Fetail again, right, gobi? I'll teach you how to cook those two things properly, so don't you worry, gobi!"

And of course, a very grateful Godofreda gave her a hug to express her thanks. "Thanks to you, I'm one step closer to making Clocky fall for me! Thank you so much, Hare-Hare!"

"There's no need to thank me, gobi. You're the one doing all the hard work, gobi!"

Voytek came back up the stairs, followed by Fetail, Gladstone and Hadrinyan. And then the usual routine played out: Godofreda rushed to hug her beloved, who looked exceptionally haggard: It was due to the stress of having to teach philosophy to a bunch of unruly schoolchildren.

She didn’t even bother to dodge or evade: Fetail simply let it happen, which was not very Fetail-like at all! "Clocky, let me take care of you: You're not feeling well, right? Leave it to me: I'll make sure you're all rested up!"

Imperator chimed on, holding a ladle: "Good idea, gobi. But I should help Little Zoya out too, so allow me to help, gobi!"

Fetail looked at Hadrinyan with a look that one could interpret as Help me, you dumb cat, or I'll shave your hair off. Bit Hadrinyan replied with a smug look of superiority which meant You've upstaged me enough, dumb fox. Time to pay the piper! Once again, Fetail was dragged off by Imperator and Godofreda into the bedroom, where they would nurse back to health… Whether she wanted it or not.

"Your Highness, why did you not help her?" Asked Gladstone.

"Hmph! What a foolish question, Gladstone: I am merely letting a dumb fox be cared for by her two friends. She needs no help… In fact, she deserves their help, for her hard work. She upstaged me for a while, how commendable!" Her words were full of irony, which Gladstone didn't catch.

Meanwhile, Voytek, who felt left out, had gone to sit in a corner of the living room. She always drew the short end of the stick when it came to social relationships. "We didn't get to pat the fluffy one today … But we are not blind: Those two are bothering her, so us patting her would bother her too… What should we do? Yes… We should help her, maybe. Should we do it? Perhaps…" She spent 5 minutes whispering to herself.

Hadrinyan sat down on the couch with a book on maids in her hand, and occasionally glanced at Voytek. She watched the girl get up and head towards the bedroom. "Hpmh! Look at her, she's acting like a heroic rival. Very well, you have awakened to your heroic instincts. Well done, girl!" She was proud that Voytek was finally acting instead of just existing.

What she was expecting was to see Godofreda and Imperator being booted out of the bedroom and ending up in a pile behind the sofa. "And I thought Hare-Hare was a brute!" Godofreda complained.

"No comment, gobi. She threw us across the corridor, gobi!" Imperator added. Voytek was standing in front of the bedroom door, guarding it from any raids. ‘’None shall pass as long as we are here: Song of my soul, my voice is dead; Die thou, unsung, as tears unshed shall dry and die in Lost Carcosa.’’ Unfortunately for everyone involved, those words did not go unheard by the book Godofreda had brought back. A pale yellow mist had sprung forth from the book and filled the house, and in the entrance hall, a vaguely feminine figure clad in a yellow tattered cloak stood menacingly.

‘’Hmph, how uncouth! So you’ve finally shown up, Hastur!’’ Hadrinyan hid her fear, summoned her weapon and took a stand in the entrance hall. Meanwhile, a terrified Godofreda climbed out of the window to ask the three stooges for help. Imperator stood next to Hadrinyan, adopting a combat pose. She looked like she was raring for a fight! Voytek didn’t budge, but the anger on her face was undeniable. ‘’We finally meet again. You ruined our kingdom, Beast of Carcosa!’’ She had to stop Zarambria from breaking out, and she barely managed it.

The figure was not moving, so Hadrinyan turned to Gladstone: ‘’What are our chances of victory?’’ She asked.

‘’In our current state… Exactly zero percent, Your Royal Highness. Even if all our forces were to attack at the same time, even with our war machines, we wouldn’t be able to do much. In that case…’’

‘’We should borrow some help from them, right? Alright, Hastur: I’ll show you what the Mi-Go can do!’’ Hadrinyan prepared to call upon the power of unspeakable deities. She would use her body as a vessel to defeat the being in front of her, her sworn enemy! She probably wouldn’t be able to recover from such an experience if she screwed it up, but it was the duty of a maid, a Magical Girl and a good friend to protect those important to her!

They all prepared for the inevitable… All of them except for Fetail, who at some point had sneaked out of her room and proceeded to stand on Imperator’s head. ‘’Haaaah. Well, that looks interesting.’’ She hopped down from her position and stood in front of the being, who turned its head to look at her. ‘’Haaah. It’s not the first time we meet, is it? You can’t fool me by disguising yourself, dumb yellow thing: Well, I doubt the gravedigger can tell that she's your avatar… Anyways, I am Clockwise Fetail, but you already know that.’’ Fetail was Fetail: She’s been spooked once, but it would not happen again.

Fetail swallowed a mercury pill and stared at the creature for a minute before glancing at its shadow, which had grown just a bit. ‘’Haaah. It’s your turn now, Almudena.’’ Out of the creature’s shadow came Almudena. Wordlessly, Fetail took a few steps back: She had bought them enough time. Now it was time to let the play end.

Almudena: You sir, should unmask

Stranger: Indeed?

Almudena: Indeed, it's time. We all have laid aside disguise but you.

Stranger: I wear no mask.

And then, the play diverted from its intended course:

Almudena: No mask? Very well, let us gaze upon your pallid countenance, maskless stranger, beholder of dark stars, pretender of Carcosa!

Hadrinyan: Iä! Shub-Niggurath!

Fetail: What a pain that is to be surrounded by such strange people. Have you no shame, calling your attacks like a 13 year-old with delusions of grandeur? Well, not like I’m one to talk…

                                                                       ☆☆☆