|How to win a fight without fighting

Once again, I was stuck. She stood in front of me while my arms were abreast to the bosoms of another woman. From her reaction, nothing was wrong. Rather, she couldn’t care less. It seemed like I was in an innocently terrible position (if that made sense). She glanced at us and then sighed.

“I left you for a single moment and I heard you were being smothered in the chests of all these women. So it was true.”

“You heard right. Any more of it and I might have lost consciousness. It was suffocating.”

“Eh? Is that so?”

I felt a bit of sarcasm in that.. Did Voyan also have a reputation as a womanizer?

“Indeed, Princess Rumi. I saved him from those beasts. It wasn’t that difficult a task.”

“Thanks a bunch, Lez. I figured he was having a hard time.”

“It’s fine. At the end of the day I made it in time.”

I thought she was trying to make a repeated joke about horniness, weird as hell but I respected it. If she’s actually serious, I don’t know how to approach her. I’m surrounded by abnormal people.

“Rumi, that’s the only reason you came here?”

“Well, we have the same class in a few minutes and you were still here. Let’s say I came to pick you up.”

“I’m flattered. If that’s the case, let’s leave.”

“Hey!!! Take her with you.”

The older thick hair pushed the younger from behind as we walked away.

“Sis, you’re so mean.”

“Elaine, goodluck on your speech.”

“I sincerely appreciate. Although, I’ve done it so many times that I could do it half asleep.”

“So impressive. That’s the student council president for you.”

Elaine smiled in response.

“Spot on. Being the one in charge of public affairs is such a pain at times.I have to take my leave, too. Besides, Lez has the same class as you two.”

“Goodluck.”

After their brief conversation, she parted ways with the three of us in the middle of the courtyard. Lez walked up from behind us and grabbed both our hands as we walked which was weird to say the least. On a normal day, it would like look she’s the kid sister that is looking at the academy for the first time, thinking to herself, “This place must be cool” then ends up cursing both her younger self and the academy itself for making her think that way when she grows up. But unfortunately, that was just a fantasy, she looked like our babysitter and we looked like the kids. I had no grasp on our age but from my deductions, we were in the same year so she had no business looking that mature. She really bought that assistant look, only that she wasn’t one. Instead, she was a friend of Rumi and I. We caught gazes from all over the academy.

From the courtyard, right to the tall, beautiful pillars that held this entrance of the main building together. I wasn’t joking when I said Romanesque architecture. It looked like wires twisted together in cables. I could only move forward as people stared at me like I was carrying gold, then it dawned on me, from the day of my wedding. I was the gold. They were drawn like moths to a flame. All this just reminded me of how popular Voyan was, compared to me. That was a given, I mean, we’re talking about the prince of the whole kingdom, my expectations were never low. I had no idea that I was allowed some leeway, though.. A mistress??? I’ll get acquainted with how all that works later but right now, that’s a really blissful thought that I can store safely and think about later and grin to myself.

“Hmm. Lez, what’s the big idea?? Can’t you see we are taking a lovey dovey stroll? You secretly love being a third wheel????”

“???????????”

She paused, with her head lowered. Was I too careless with her? If this was enough to make me suspicious, then it was clear I didn’t know the right words to possibly say to her. Either that or being quiet, and that on it’s own was suspicious.

“Anything wrong?”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just that… You’ve never called me ‘Lez’ before.”

“I think it sounds cute. Lez, it’s like something I can give my little sister.”

“Really?? But I thought you said Lez is a horrible abbreviation and my full name was much better?”

“I was jealous. Lez is actually a beautiful name.”

“I’m glad you think that.”

I dragged that right out of my ass. I was saved, for now.. The thought of having to deal with shocks like this any longer makes me want to end things as quickly as possible. In the middle of our conversation and my troubling thought, Rumi kicked it all wide open with some decent throat clearing.

“We’re here, guys.”

The huge doors in front of us swung open without any physical contact. It had stunning similarities to the doors of our wedding reception. This one, however seemed more malicious?? It seemed like the entrance of a Colosseum, I now felt my sense of relief fading, I was pretty much intimidated, terrified, almost… It was like a kid on their way to the doctor’s office. ‘One apple a day keeps the doctors away’, they said.. And I’m supposed to be convinced that they aren’t villains or something??? I was clearly putting on a brave face at this point but deep down, I wanted to turn the other way.

Lez walked ahead of us and Rumi gestured for my hands as we walked side by side. To my surprise, it was an actual Colosseum. A mini Colosseum to be precise. For fuck’s sake, I’m not a gladiator, what the hell are we doing here??? There were about 50 of us gathered here, this was one of five entrances. I didn’t exactly know how to ask what was going on and I couldn’t bait Lez into giving me information. She seemed to know more about me than even my Rumi. I was stuck walking around eggshells around her now. What a shame….

“Voyan, you’re planning on fighting bare handed??”

“Oh…”

I don’t have any experience with swords, though… An inexperienced swordsman fighting against experienced swordsmen. If there is a god making up scenarios like these, you must really hate me on such a deep level…

“Maybe you can ask the instructors for a sword?”

“Don’t worry about me. I’m not changing my mind.I can do this with just my fists.”

“I guess that’s also allowed.If that’s your wish then…”

She let go of my hands and unsheathed her long, gold sword with a black hilt that looked almost like blood stains. From first glance, you could tell that the design was crafted masterfully. At the section directly beneath the hilt of the sword, there were some weird signs that I couldn’t understand. Understanding it would have been more worrying in this case. However, all I could say was that it looked slightly different from what I had seen earlier. The edges looked oddly soft. As soft as a feather, but I was aware that those same edges could cause dozens of heads to roll cleanly on the ground. Immediately, her stance switched up and her eyes went from corner to corner in search of a target and….

“Later..”

She sprinted towards her target, a young man with brown hair and clashed blades with him. The overwhelming force brought him to his knees in mere seconds. She knocked the weapon off his hands and swiftly brought him to the ground. From there she turned to her left and spotted another opponent, a lady with dark hair (almost like hers) and approached her with an array of attacks. While in the air, she seemed just like an exotic acrobat. Some people even got enchanted by her movements and couldn’t stop staring. Unfortunately for them, their opponents were not. They all landed head first on the ground. Such fools..Letting their guard down in the heat of battle.

The mini Colosseum was designed like an obstacle course. There were holes that extended around the ground, perhaps as a test of stealth. I was still outside, staring at everything like the newbie I am. This was absurd. I looked up and there was an instructor fixated on his watch. From what I could tell, he was timing us. I had no idea the number of seconds or minutes we had left.We didn’t have the luxury of time. With the way he was examining it, I’m sure we had very little time. Either that or this guy was restless.

In any case, my new task was not just surviving but it seemed like I had to take down a target of my own.Surviving with a win of my own. Everyone was eager to get a target like a bunch of predators weighing up the size or numbers of their prey. I was also the only one idly standing around.Now that was easier said than done. 

A win, huh?? Can I play with one of the unconscious people’s body and then claim the win or something? They will notice. Do I step in right now?? Do I just observe them?? That’s the most rational choice but I don’t know what the heck this is for.. Perhaps it’s a sort of test? I’m confident that this is, infact, a test. Hmm.. I really can’t destroy my image but more than that I can’t put myself in danger. It’s better to stay here where it’s safe and watch them.

“Hyahhhhhh!!!!!”

One of the students fell at my feet with his eyes open,they were as white as fog. I had the inescapable urge to laugh but a new feeling arose. It triggered my flight or flight response, yes you heard me well. I was scared, scared to move even a few steps and face my own thrashing. I already imagined my eyes rolling over like that. I have no idea how strong this guy(Voyan) is.

 I know in front of a bunch of amateurs, I am fairly decent and my body is strong enough to take down quite a number of people. However, someone as untrained as me in a stranger’s body was simply a no no.. Getting used to a stranger’s body??? This wasn’t the same as getting a new weapon or changing a dominant hand.

The closest thing my imagination could point me to were full body prosthetics. Ever imagined a cyborg? I was essentially just that. It was only my consciousness that I could confidently say was mine and mine alone. Every human being has a body that comes with its own special attributes. The 5 senses are a collective concept that vary from person to person to a degree. For example, in terms of visual acuity, we were roughly on the same level. Of course the assessment was off a weird comparison but I had a feeling I was right. In terms of physical sensitivity, hearing, sense of smell and even body movement, we were hardly on the same wavelength. Now, agility, speed, weight were other varying factors that only made me doubt myself even more.

It felt like someone made me into a cyborg and asked me to deal with it. Except this cyborg had all the attributes of a normal human. This was the absolute worst. I was and am by no means ready for a fight. I just can’t do it. I will wait this one out…….Or so I thought. In the midst of this battle royale, I was spotted by some of the other students that were interested in taking me on. Whether or not I have the option to stay back here, I will do that and pay them no mind. 

That’s right. Show no signs of participation and they should back off. It will be unsightly for a future knight to smack the shit out of an unarmed, uninterested person. Except from if you’re in a war. If that’s the case then that’s a free kill. However, even on video games, that is a tad bit unrealistic or rather, unlikely.

My decision was final. My legs weren’t going to move a single step forward even if the rays of the sun could burn my clothes off and uncover my nakedness in the weirdest manner. I’ll rather have my manhood hanging out for all to see then have my disfigured mouth, flapping in the air for all to see in a one sided beat-down. Now that I look at things a bit closer, the fights were actually one sided, in a sense. All the girls knocked the shit out of their male targets. Was that the norm here??

“Fight me, miss…I mean Mrs Leopold.”

“It would be a pleasure.”

She said that so politely and then later sent him to a different state of consciousness in a matter of seconds. That was the most respectful beat down I had seen in my life. Those two words were somewhat like oil and water and usually never mixed well. The victim here nearly seemed like he was enjoying it. A sort of “thank you for this blessing” look was what he had on as he was utterly pummeled. As defeat was lurking, he neither revelled in it nor proudly took in the blow. Instead, this masochist smiled as the blow was incoming at a terrifying pace. The level of degeneracy in that act alone was quite shocking, I’ll have to admit. Of course, he was not a threat in anyway so that was that.

“Wow.”

Other than that, in this nicely shaped arena, many more battles had been going on, not just Rumi. And, all I could say, after a first look, was that things became oddly clearer. In the sense that I could see a repeating pattern that made me feel a sense of shame despite being all the way here, just viewing people getting their faces bashed in. Nonetheless, the same factor in all these battles were the bizarre rate at which the men were overpowered. From swift kicks to the face to knock outs from the jaw, using pin point accuracy. These ladies clearly woke up this morning with a score to settle. 

There was no other way to explain how fired up they were. I looked at my comrades (somewhat) as they pathetically tried to continue while some gave up before getting knocked out. It was truly sad and discouraging to watch. At some point, even I felt some form of second hand embarrassment for the ones that yelled like they were going to war then got sent flying, they were truly hilarious.

Of course, there were a few exceptions here and there, hell I even saw some girl on girl action but unfortunately, the exceptions didn’t make the rules. I wasn’t going to complain about anything since I was basically doing nothing. I still am. Even Lez was going at it without any hint of mercy, maybe she showed some restraint but I really couldn’t tell. Opponents fell left and right, as she searched endlessly for a worthy opponent. After a couple of trial and errors, she found herself staring down at the person she wanted to avoid facing the most, and her name was Rumi. 

Sparks flew as the two of them who probably had the most victims stared at each other with wary expressions. For Rumi, it was fun to watch as she never had a face like that when talking to me but Lez on the other hand excelled at making people scared of her with just her looks. She could transform from the hot assistant to the scary one in a matter of seconds and could do it with the slightest of efforts. Coincidentally, she was stepping on one of the bodies beside her.

“I’ve been looking for you, Lez.”

“It seemed like you enjoyed beating up that blonde girl a bit too much.”

“Heh.. It was warm up.”

“Who has warm up in anticipation of warm up?”

“You don’t have to say it like that.”

Rumi gripped her longsword and Lez did the same but then…….

A sharp, high pitched noise could be heard as a sword dropped to the ground. This sound turned everyone’s attention towards the two. Lez tilted her head, perplexed as to why her opponent dropped her weapon right in the heat of battle.

“Let’s take things a bit slow. There’s not enough time anyway, by the end of this exercise we probably still wouldn’t be able to get a clear winner, right?”

“But, wouldn’t it look like you are initiating a different form of combat because you’re afraid?”

“I don’t really care. All I want to do is practice without the sword for a little while, like my darling.”

“How cute. Do you really mean that?”

“Of course, I fear all that time being inactive might have made me slightly rusty.”

“Like that’s possible.”

“Besides… You’re not obligated to drop your weapon too.”

Rumi’s smirk caught everyone but her opponent off guard. Lez had a serious looking face, no matter the emotion she felt. At this point in time, I could hint at a slight irritation dabbled up in fear but then, none of that showed. She stayed flat. She stayed emotionless.

“Hmmph.”

She dropped hers too and clenched her fists, switching to a more care free stance as they both approached each other with all of their guard down. It was clear that Rumi never took any of this seriously in the first place, unlike her opponent. They clashed with their fists in an unusual union. A flurry of blows ensued and both parties got engrossed in their little warm up session during the actual warm up. Without a single care in the world, they tried unusual moves and didn’t stop to catch their breaths. 

They were genuinely having fun. A dainty mark surfaced on her lips. Lez was smiling. That was good and all, but on the other side, people were still get getting knocked out like it was a normal occurrence.I believe this is too extreme to be considered mere training. Another question arose as I placed a finger on my pointy, diamond shaped chin, pondering on who the other overpowered students could be. Surely, these teachers weren’t savage enough to do a test and put the strongest two along with dozens of people just for the masses to get knocked out like little kids attempting front flips? If they wanted to get a hearty laugh out of it all then mission accomplished, I guess.

“Oleg, you still plunge like a baby in a trance.”

What the….

“Come on, don’t tell me that’s all you’ve got. Oleg, if I recall, you were the one that challenged me and now you stop to catch your breath?? After wasting my time with this unamusing match up?? How dare you??”

Woah, woah. This guy spelt out “overconfident” with every word that came out of his mouth. He reeked of it, infact….And in front of him, was the midget.Oleg, huh? Is that his name? Only one thing was clear at this moment. This battle was just too one sided.