My safe harbor (3)

When I was 14 years old, my family received news that my mother was ill.

Despite the initial shock, the doctor said that we didn't need to worry and that if my mother rested and avoided excessive stress she would soon be fine.

She really looked very tired and of course, her job was not helping at all.

So when she got this news and told us, we tried our best to make the work lighter, especially with the housework.

My wife told me that this was an exaggeration and that she enjoyed doing things for us, but I knew it couldn't stay like this forever.

And that's how we lived for about 9 months. During this time my mother was already showing that she was doing much better.

Well... she was getting better even before that...

Between these 9 months, I started to get involved with the "wrong" things, if you know what I mean.

In this job, I earned money easily, which was very helpful.

But, when my mother found out that I was hanging out with these kinds of people, she was really upset.

She was nervous like never before, she yelled at me so loud that even the neighbors could hear our arguments.

My mother was always calm and very kind, so for me to see my mother acting like that was a big surprise.

I remember that in my last argument with her, she was really quite angry. She yelled at me ordering me to stop doing that, and I remember I just ignored her and when I closed the door I said, "Bye, Mom''.

That was not goodbye, but goodbye.

That day I got home around 11:00 pm.

Whenever I got home, my mother would welcome me with a smile and even a warm hug, that was all I needed to be happy.

That day, my mother also welcomed me when I got home, but not the way I imagined.

My mother was lying on the floor, dead.

After that scene, for some reason, I cannot remember exactly what happened. I only remember calling the ambulance and, some time later, hearing my relatives fighting deciding who Hina and I would live with.

My mother was fine, and I remember how hard she was working to save money. But because of my selfishness she died.

The only person who stood by me, and even then, I betrayed her trust.

I heard from doctors and my relatives that my mother had a sudden attack of her illness and well... it doesn't take a genius to figure out why...

Today Hina and I live with our grandparents in a different city. It has been 3 years since this happened, and Hina was a baby at the time, so she doesn't remember anything. My grandparents live far away from me, so they don't treat me badly (unlike my other relatives).

It was on that day three years ago that I realized that everything bad I get is deserved, because I am not a good person.

In life there are many questions that are very difficult to answer and that don't even have a proper answer.

I'm sorry Mom, but...

I cannot forgive my mother's murderer.

The first six chapters are tales of the protagonist's past history. (6/6)