How to Get Motivated
At some point, I realized that I’m pretty much fucked.
With how I kept on going with life, I was likely to be doomed in the future. No direction to head to and no motivation for anything. I kept on living without doing something productive. My procrastination seemed unending and even though stopping this routine crossed my mind many times, that idea too, ended up being part of my procrastination.
I was once an innocent kid with big dreams. When I was very young, my father told me to become a pro soccer player, it was his dream that he was not able to do, so he wanted me to fulfill it in his stead. I was eager at the start but then it struck me that I suck at that sport, and I was not even immersed in it.
Years went by and my dream turned into being a CEO of a big company and becoming filthy rich. I was imagining the things that I could do with so much money and planned of making my own company. With hard work, I might just be able to do it.
The uncertainty of my dreams all ended in my first year of middle school when I found out about the passion that I wanted to pursue. I wanted to become a professional player of a certain FPS game. This was the first time in my life when I felt intense emotions and aspirations in me.
I played every day and every time, even sacrificing my time with my friends to improve my skills. My efforts bore fruit and I was elated when I became one of the best players on my server. The only thing that was stopping me from entering its professional league was the age requirement of 16.
The game was shut down, unfortunately.
I did not even reach that age before it all crashed down and the goal that became my everything at one point was lost in an instant. I could not even play another FPS game anymore, much less aim for the same goal.
I knew I was working hard to achieve and putting effort into another goal that became impossible for me. Where do I direct my effort now that it was gone? Could I even make effort?
Everything seemed bland and suffocating.
Going to school turned into an obligation. I barely have anyone I could call a friend. Entertainment consumed most of my free time. And the most important thing: I had no goal to aim for anymore.
I’m just here wasting every second of my life.
I reiterate. I’m pretty much fucked.
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