Chapter 12:

Chapter 12 – In which there is a lot of shouting

OmniGrim: Reincarnation with an Omniscient Grimoire


The next day we met in front of the academy. Even though I had a room there I spent the night before at the mansion, since I needed to pack my things. But to be honest? There weren’t a lot of things I actually possessed. I only had the clothing I was wearing at the moment and maybe some books from the mansion, so when I turned up at our meeting point, I had nothing with me.

“What? Why do you not have a bag?” the princess asked as soon as I arrived at the academy.

“Well, what should I have brought with me? I literally don’t have any possession- oh wait, yes, I do, but that thing is under police custody.”

I was of course talking about the Grimoire. Luckily, Raynard had yet to arrive, so I would at least not have to explain that whole conversation to him.

“What have you brought with you anyway? I thought the academy was covering food expenses and the like?” I retorted.

Princess Abc stared at nothing for a moment and then replied, “Womanly stuff for women,” with a telling expression. I think I got the gist of what she was trying to tell me, so I nodded knowingly.

“But yeah, other than that, the academy is awfully generous,” she admitted.

Thing was, not only was the Grimoire my only possession, but it was also capable of storing any item I imagined. So even if I had any items with me, I would not store them inside a bag, but whatever sort of micro-dimension my Grimoire had created.

I wonder if I could just store my friends inside my Grimoire Pokémon-Style, I mused while the princess placed her handy bag in front of her feet. Of course, she was wearing the uniform of the academy, which I had yet to receive. Its bright colors weirdly contrasted with her brown hair and dark mitts.

“Maybe you should just ask Shelly about your Grimoire. Last I heard investigations on this case were closed, so there shouldn’t be any problem. Although it seems a bit off, that they would just let the only Grimoire user in the world walk around like that.”

“Yeah, about that ... what exactly is the sitch with Grimoires in general?” I asked.

“What’s the what now?” The princess was visibly confused.

“The um, deal ... with the Grimoire.” I should definitely try to tone down the pop culture references a bit.

But before she was able to answer, Raynard approached us with a cheerful “Helloho~” and after a short sprint he came to a halt right in front of us.

“Are y’all ready for our first adventure as a team?” He sounded like an infomercial host, way too confident about his product for it to be any good.

...

Well considering his initial lack of enthusiasm for this mission, this was pretty much the case.

After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, Raynard exclaimed, “Okay, let’s hope Shelly arrives soon, because I might leave out of panic,” with the same fake enthusiasm as before. Princess Abc desperately shook her head.

After a short while we heard hooves in the distance getting louder and louder, until we saw a carriage appear at the end of the street. It halted in front of the entrance to the academy where we stood.

“Have any of you ordered a carriage to bring you to the village Crema?!” an elderly woman shouted. She was sitting on the front part of the carriage, holding the reins.

“Probably?” I said with a mildly confused expression on my face. Shelly probably had ordered the carriage for us, but she was nowhere to be seen. Why a carriage? I thought cars were a thing in this world to some extent?

“Excuse me?!” she shouted, leaning towards our general direction.

“Oh no, she’s deaf,” Raynard said, his expression growing more and more tired.

“Yes, but we are not yet complete!” the princess shouted back.

“WHAT?”

“WE ARE NOT YET COMPLE- BLEGH” The princess suddenly started coughing and tried to clean her throat as she tried to communicate with the woman.

“LISTEN, IF YOU WANT TO GET TO THE VILLAGE GET YOUR ASSES UP HERE. MY HEARING IS NOT THE BEST, AND IF YOU START NAGGING, I’LL JUST DRIVE AWAY AND TAKE YOUR ADVANCE PAYMENT WITH ME!”

“Alright!” Raynard said, either intimidated or simply tired of this exchange he wasn’t even really part of. He started climbing up the back of the carriage when I said, “Take your time, if we stall a bit, Shelly might still make it.”

Princess Abc gave me an exasperated nod, and first threw her bag onto the carriage before proceeding to slowly climb onto the carriage herself. When I started getting onto the carriage I realized that this stalling strategy was not very effective, and as soon, as I took a place in the middle of the carriage, between Raynard and the princess, the old lady shouted “EVERYONE HOLD ONTO SOMETHING, IT’S GONNA BE A ROCKY RIDE!” after which she took off at a speed horses should not be able to achieve in an instant.

Actually, the departure was so sudden, I toppled over backwards, hitting my head on the wooden planks making up the floor of the carriage.

“Ouch!”

I tried to hold my aching head while also trying to not hit myself somewhere else. I made an attempt at sitting up again but decided that lying on my stomach was the best way to not fall off this hell ride. I looked outside the back of the carriage, only to realize that the bypassing scenery would make me sick, until we passed a side road in which I saw - Shelly!

We were just slow enough for me to recognize her and the panic on her face, as she tried to catch up to the carriage.

“WAIT FOR MEEEE!” she shouted while sprinting at an amazing speed behind the carriage.

“I’M SORRY THE DRIVER CAN’T HEAR YOU!” I shouted back at her.

“SOMEONE STOP THAT CARRIAGE!” Shelly screamed in an exaggerated manner that caused a lot of heads to turn in our direction. We were still in the middle of the city after all.

“Isn’t that the officer?” I thought I heard through the road noise.

“Is she chasing that carriage?”

“Are they thieves on the run?”

“Oh my god, those are criminals?!”

And I soon realized that they were totally getting the wrong idea!

“WUAHAHAHA! YES, FASTER MY BABIES!” the old hag shouted! I pitied the horses that probably endured this torture on a daily basis as long as they did not spontaneously break down. She seemed to enjoy this a lot but knowing that she was hard of hearing I figured all of her senses must have gone numb with her age.

I crawled to the back end of the carriage and extended my arm towards the policewoman hoping to heave her onto the vehicle. But I soon came to realize I did not think that idea through entirely. Because as soon as Shelly managed to grab my arm, it wasn’t her that was drawn onto the carriage, but me that was drawn onto the road.

“WOAAAAH!”

My vocal cords had gotten sore at this point, but that didn't matter, with my face slowly approaching the pavement, the result of which would not be pretty. Just as I was about to feel the most intense pain of my life, I heard the sound of breaking wood coming from inside the carriage, followed by a high-pitched shriek from Raynard and someone shouting: “MASTER!”

Raven suddenly appeared below me, making me crash into him rather than the cold stone. I landed on top of him, and we both then crashed into Shelly, who was still holding onto my arm. Dust blew up as we rolled a couple of meters down the street, earning us a lot of bewildered looks from passersby, who were not quite sure whether they wanted to get involved with this entire situation.

“Ouch,” Shelly finally said, crushed below both me and Raven.

“What was that?” I asked trying to stand up, even though pretty much every inch of my body was hurting.

“You’re one to ask,” Shelly managed to squeeze out, before saying “Get off of me!” to Raven, who quickly got up, just to check me in an exaggerated manner.

I'd call that getting even. Not that Shelly remembered.

“Master, are you alright?” he said while slowly patting my everywhere. He managed to hit all the places that hurt the most, causing me to flinch.

“Cut it out!”

“Okay, what exactly happened?” I turned around to Shelly, who was now standing and stretching herself. I was just about to reply when a loud honk made us all jump.

“Get off the damn road ya moron’s or I’ll call the police!” an angry man shouted in a dialect from the car behind us.

“I am the police!” Shelly shouted back but prompted us to leave the road.

“First of all, why a carriage? Why not a car? That old lady is crazy, she’s torturing her horses, and on top of that my butt hurts and I’ve only been driving for a minute. I’m not going to survive this ride,” I complained.

Shelly tried to speak up, but I wasn’t finished yet.

“Second of all, what are you doing here Raven? Where did you come from? I thought you weren’t allowed on this mission?”

“Okayokayokay,” Shelly was the first to respond. “This woman is literally the fastest cart driver in the history of the entire world. It would only take us two days instead of four, if we took her. And Raven, I am also really eager to hear what you have to say to all of this?” With that she crossed her arms in front of her and gave Raven an overly critical look.

“Obviously this mission is going to be dangerous!” Raven explained. “And I am not willing to let my master” – “Don’t call me that.” – “be exposed to such a danger. That’s why I hid inside a crate to be able to check on his well-being.”

“Wow, this mission is already a disaster, and it has not even begun yet, ugh.” Shelly turned around and made an exhausted nod. “Worst of all, that carriage is probably already out of town, and we have no idea where! And even if, we would not be able to reach it!”

“Umm, I might be able to help,” Raven suggested.

Shelly turned back with a questioning look.

“If Master gives me his power, I might be able to catch up.”

“But we still have no idea where that carriage is and also ...” Shelly did not finish her sentence, but I was pretty sure, she was thinking about the fact that Raven wasn’t supposed to come with us, anyway.

“Why were you late anyway?” I asked her. “All of that would not have happened!”

“I was at the police station picking up your ... book,” she said, pointing at her backpack.

[Please tell her that I am not a book.]

“Um, I’m supposed to tell you that it is not a book.”

“Obviously, but those things are rare, I can’t just announce we have this thing in broad ... Wait why are you supposed to say that?”

“Oh, the Grimoire told me to tell you,” I replied totally ignoring her concerns. No-one would be eavesdropping on us here, I thought.

“You can talk to it? It can talk to you? What exactly is that thing really?”

[I am a Grimoire that contains all knowledge of this world.]

“It says it contains ... oh my god.” I clasped my hands together as I suddenly realized something.

You don’t happen to know where that carriage is, do you?

[It is precisely at that location.]

An image of the carriage chasing over a field flashed through my mind.

“Oh my god, that is so OP ...” I muttered to myself.

“It’s what now?”

“Nevermind. Shelly, give me that Grimoire.”

Hesitantly she took her backpack off her back, opened it, and handed me the Grimoire from the inside.

Can you draw me a map that shows our position relative to the position of the carriage?

As soon as I opened a random page its contents were replaced with an accurate map showing the city and its outskirts, as well as our position and that of the carriage signified through differently colored dots.

Satisfied with the result I turned the Grimoire around to show it to Raven and Shelly.

“Woah, that thing seriously is amazing!” Shelly exclaimed.

“Well then, should we get going?” Raven asked impatiently.

“Okay, but how do you plan to get us both to the carriage?” she asked him.

“You climb onto my back, and I’ll hold the master in my arms,” he said as he lifted me off the ground planting a long kiss onto my lips. I felt my cheeks heat up due to this unexpected contact.

He moaned softly as our lips parted and then called out to Shelly: “Get up and hold on tight, the headwind might blow you off my back.”

I felt him adjusting to the additional weight, as Shelly climbed onto Raven’s back, and after he said something along the lines of “Here we go!” he took off and we started screaming – again.

And it wasn’t only us, it was also the dozens of people walking on the street, that Raven miraculously managed to avoid hitting at hundreds of miles per hour.

“Raven!” Shelly attempted to communicate with him. “Get off the streets!”

“How should I do that?” he retorted.

“Doesn’t lending Nathan’s powers give you the ability to fly or something?!”

“Not with that much baggage. But I can jump!”

“Whaaa-?!” I tried to say.

And lord, that was a jump.

He leapt into the air, releasing a shockwave from the force of his jump, and soaring through the sky, somehow managing to maneuver himself onto a nearby rooftop.

“Woah!” I let out an uncontrolled shout, as he lowered his body to put a damper on his landing. My body, still in his arms, nearly scratched the surface. Barely having made a secure landing he already dashed off, leaving behind a dust-cloud on the roof that probably no-one had set foot on for the last years. The roof tiles rattled under his footsteps and were probably audible inside the building itself.

A truly taxing day for the citizens of Ataraxia.

He leapt over each rooftop like a flying ninja and after a short while we reached the city walls, where guards waved through unknowing citizens, until one of them spotted us and shouted: “In- um, extruders!” Upon which every single one of them turned their heads up in the air.

I spotted several guards readying their canons and magic wands or other objects when we landed on top of the city wall and tried to warn Raven, but Shelly was faster than me.

“Stop!” she shouted, very unconvincingly trying to assure her subordinates everything was alright. But the result was ...

“Isn’t that the boss?!”

“Oh my god, is she being kidnapped!?”

I did not even bother sighing anymore, as Raven propelled himself into the air again.

“FIRE!” I heard someone shout behind me and prayed that we did not just cause a war by accident. When I took a peek behind Raven’s back, I saw ashen trails left behind by projectiles aimed at us.

“Dodge!”

As soon as I said that, Raven did a barrel roll to the side, using his wings, evading the first incoming attack, and another three, while slowly losing altitude. He finished his last rotation shortly before coming down onto the ground. The last few projectiles hit the area around us and after taking a couple of strides, the guards on the city wall slowly disappeared in the distance and we from their view.

“I’ll have to explain all of that to my superiors!” Shelly snapped.

“Show me the map again, Master,” Raven said, completely ignoring Shelly’s looming rage.

I realized that my arms clung to the Grimoire the entire time. I somehow managed to open the map against the wind and hold it so Raven was able to look at it. He sped in between some corn fields not noticing the distressed farmers fearing for their crops.

“Okay, we should make it soon, just another couple of minutes, I guess,” Raven announced.

After leaving the corn fields behind, I was able to spot the carriage in the distance.

“There they are!” I exclaimed, pointing towards them, and closing my Grimoire shut.

Even from that distance I realized they were moving at an amazing speed, but we slowly but surely managed to catch up. I could see Raynard and the princess inside the vehicle desperately trying to not fall off, but nearly losing their grip when they saw Raven approaching.

Only a couple of steps away, Raven took one final leap, and rolled inside the carriage as jumping into a driving vehicle caused him to lose his balance.

“A SUCCUBUS?!” I heard Raynard scream.

I collided with the back of the old cart driver, prompting her to turn around.

“OH, YOU’RE BACK ALREADY?!”

“Ugh, shut up,” I told that lady.

“I HEARD THAT!”

“Of course she did ... Hi,” I greeted Princess Abc and Raynard who were both looking at me in complete bewilderment.

Raynard tried to say something but just ended up pointing between me, Shelly, who was just getting up, and Raven who laid on my lap hugging my stomach. My Grimoire landed somewhere in the corner.

“Did I do it?” Raven suddenly said and gave me an excited look like a puppy. If only he had a tail, he could wag.

“Yes ... yes you did it,” I said and reluctantly petted his red hair.

“Ugh that report is going to be a lot,” Shelly muttered while rubbing her face. For some reason she managed to stay upright, while the others were still clinging to the bars holding this thing together. Scattered across the wooden floor also were the remains of the wooden crate Raven was supposedly hiding in. What a miracle I hadn’t gotten a splinter.

“So, we are now all set?” the princess asked no-one specifically.

“Actually, we’re more than set, considering Raven shouldn’t even be here,” Shelly said.

“But we can’t just throw him out, can we?” I tried to put in a good word for the weird Incubus that got a little too attached to me.

“You can’t,” he agreed trying to nod convincingly.

“As long as you don’t interfere with anything, it’ll be fine, I guess. Still that report is going to be a nightmare.”

“I’m going to protect you,” Raven said lowering his voice seductively.

“Yeah, you do you.”

“So, how long is that journey going to take?” the princess asked.

“Around two days. Crema is located south-east of our city, halfway to the kingdom’s border. So lay back, it’s going to be a long two days.”

Shelly took the words right out of my mouth.

Gerry Hines
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