It's All Yours

Jacob slipped his shoes on, without bothering with socks, before standing up and gazing around at the other members, whose faces all seemed to be reflecting the panic he was feeling. How could she have disappeared like this? This wasn't like Chinatsu at all!

"Alright, y'all stay put," he said with authoritative finality as he pulled the back flap of his shoe out from under his heel, "I'll go look for her outside. With any luck, she's just getting some fresh air to clear her head. We'll be back!" A combination of worried nods and verbal assents met this declaration as Jacob made for the exit, striding through the prep room and the connected hallway with alarming speed. Whether it was caused by morning humidity or the expanding pit in his stomach, a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face as he opened the exterior door.

A wave of heat smacked Jacob in the face, in stark contrast to the cool, air-conditioned building he was standing at the edge of, and he took several steps out onto the white-striped concrete, searching high and low for his quarry's signature teal-blue bangs. The parking lot he was facing was filled with cars of varying colors, and there were a few folks milling about--latecomers who were unconcerned about missing the opening ceremony, no doubt--but the Calligraphy Club's president was not among them.

To the left, he spotted a fenced-in patch of grass that, he recalled, went down most of that side of the building. Perfect! A soft, lonely place to sit and collect one's composure! Jacob practically sprinted to the grass and gazed hopefully around the corner of the Hall, but, disappointingly, she wasn't here, either.

"Shit!" he growled to himself, running down along the fence and up the stairs, towards the parking lot on the other side. Another one of those geometric fountains, and a big rectangular sign the size of a shipping container--looked like a nice place to cool off and collect one's thoughts, but she wasn't here, either. There was an entrace with a shaded pathway in the parking lot, but no luck there. A lonely patch of grass with some tiny trees to lean against? Of course not. Beyond some concrete dividers, a larger parking lot lay ahead, but no obvious sign of her.

"Hey, kid!" he called out, hoping he sounded more casual and calm than he felt, "Peanuts!" His voice carried decently far across the neighborhood, distracting an older man tending the field out behind his strikingly blue house. Not giving the farmer much mind, he began running across the parking lot, the high morning sun and its oppressive heat wave causing him to sweat pretty heavily. Or was it the looming fear, outlandish but horribly possible, that she might have done something more rash...?

As Jacob reached the end of the parking lot, he shouted to the fields beyond, "Chinatsu!" But no sooner had he called out her name did he see that distinct shade of teal, sitting up against one of the small trees lining the grass at the parking lot's edge, her shocked face having been pressed up against her legs just a second ago.

"J-Jake-kun?" she said, startled, prompting him to sprint over to her side. "You...you actually said my name..."

"'Course I did! You had us all worried sick! The hell're you doin' all the way out here?!" Jacob practically shouted as he approached, "If you needed some air, you should've just said so!" It was only just now that he noticed that her cheeks were wet.

"I just..." Chinatsu began before pressing her face back into her legs, "I'm sorry." Her voice was muffled. "It's just...overwhelming for me, y'know? I never thought we'd make it this far, and now...I haven't been able to sleep in weeks, and I don't wanna ruin it for you guys, but...but..."

Jacob sighed and sat down beside her, causing her to flinch, but she stayed in her curled-up position. "So, ya got in over your head, didja? Trust me, I can relate to that. I mean, it wasn't that long ago that I moved to Japan without even knowin' the language, thinkin' I could just buy up a plot of land and live on the fringe. But then I got here, an' everything I thought I could do just up an' vanished in an instant. I was here now, an' there was no turnin' back."

Chinatsu said nothing, but she was still, and she was listening. Jacob allowed himself to lean back, propping himself up with his arms as he gazed at the blue sky above.

"I'd thought I was all alone back in the States, but after movin' here, I realized how wrong I was--I'd never been so alone in my entire life. Never been so afraid, either. This was about 8 years ago, now. Like you said, it was just so overwhelmin'. I felt like I'd been paralyzed with fear, an' soon my brain was racin' with all kinds of thoughts, thinkin' of how in the hell I was gonna survive here. I was ready to run away from it all." He shifted. "I know that 'suck it up and face your fear head-on' is the last piece of advice anyone wants or thinks would be helpful, but sometimes, it really is exactly whatcha need to hear. Ya just gotta suck it up and face it...Chinatsu. I didn't have nobody to tell me that, all those years ago, so I ended up strugglin' for so long to find my way. Now, I'm tellin' you, so that it doesn't take ya nearly as long to get back up as I took."

"But...you're brave, Jake-kun," came her reply, uncharacteristically thin and frail from inside her shell, "You say we're alike, but it's not true. I'm just a coward, pretending I'm something I'm not. Back when we first became jogging partners, at the Tama River, you were right about me--I talk big, and act like I'm tough, and that it's just for show. But...I don't have any real courage to back it up." She sniffled. "I always say I'll do big things and put myself out there, but then I back out, every time. I wanted this competition to be different. I wanted to actually take a chance and do that 'something big' I always say I'll do, but..."

Jacob (gently) slapped his hand onto Chinatsu's shoulder, which caused her to lift her head again to look up at him. "I know I was right, when I said you were wearin' a mask. But I was also right when I said that you're stronger than that. You challenged me to an arm-wrestlin' match just a few short months ago, remember? Walked right on up, bold as anything, and challenged me, right to my face. You even had the gargantuan brass balls to piss me off and trick your way into a win, too. You'll excuse me if I don't buy that spiel about you being a coward for a single goddamn second."

"But..." she began, but Jacob extended a hand in between them.

"Think back and remember!" he said, a bit more forcefully, "I'm self-aware enough to know most people would shit bricks if they were in your shoes that day. Yet, you showed no fear whatsoever! Hell, you even looked like you were enjoying yourself! What was goin' through your brain, at the time?"

Chinatsu had to stop and think about this, her fear and shame gradually fading away as she focused, revisiting the memory of that day in April.

"I...I remember admiring your speech," she said at last, her hand on her chin, residual moisture glistening on her tanned cheeks, "Y'know, the one you gave during orientation. Where you told those old guys to go drinking with you at my dad's bar. By the end of it, I knew that I wanted to be more like you. I wanted to be with you, whether it was just as a friend, or as...well, that's when I decided I'd try to get you to join the Calligraphy Club..."

"Which you did." He faked a single cough, leading into saying rapidly, "The methods by which you won were shady as hell, of course, but that doesn't really matter right now."

"I don't remember really being afraid, at the time, now that you mention it. I guess it does make sense that I should've been more nervous about the whole thing. I think, more than anything, I just really hoped that, by being near you, I could learn how to be more like you. More fearless. So, I didn't really have enough space left in my brain to worry about being afraid..."

Jacob laughed, prompting an indignant "I'm serious, Jake-kun!" from Chinatsu, before he waved his hand dismissively.

"No, no, I'm not doubtin' ya or anything," he said, "I just find it funny that you stumbled over the answer without actually seein' it."

Chinatsu narrowed her eyes, almost as if she were pouting. "Well, don't be stingy about it. Care to fill me in?"

"Itai doushin," he said with an ironic grin, "As much as it annoys me sometimes, we really are a lot alike, Peanuts. The truth is, I'm not as fearless as you think I am--hell, when I was up there on that stage, makin' that orientation speech, I was scared shitless. I thought I'd completely blow it an' make a fool of myself. But I knew that the old man, Katou, had arranged the whole thing, an' he was just settin' me up to fail, so my fear was overpowered by my wantin' to make sure he didn't get what he wanted. I wasn't gonna let him make a fool of me. So I was able to swallow my fear, and deliver a kick-ass speech! It's really the same train of thought you were usin' when you challenged me to arm-wrestlin', that day."

"So you're saying...when you have a goal in mind, and you really focus on it with all of your heart and mind...you can push out the fear? Just like that?"

"Absolutely," Jacob said, clapping her shoulder. "That's how I can keep calm in a crisis. An' I know for a fact that you're the exact same way, kid--you can kick some serious ass, as long as you've got a clear goal in mind and you never take your eyes off it. Something you really want. But once you lose sight of it, it just gets that much harder an' harder to push out the fear."

"So...I've lost sight of my goal...?" Chinatsu asked, sounding more like her old self with each passing moment as she reflected on his words. Evidently, Jacob was right on the money.

"Try to think back an' remember: What, exactly, were you hopin' to achieve by aimin' for this whole Shodou Performance Koshien thing, before ropin' the rest of us in?"

"Well..." she began, thinking, "I...I really just wanted to push myself."

"Uh-huh. Push yourself to...?"

"To...do something big. To get out in front of a crowd..." Suddenly, her face lit up, as it all started coming back to her. "...and create something! To perform! To express myself with art!"

"Now, that can't be all, Peanuts," Jacob said, crossing his arms. "You could've expressed yourself with art any old way. Why this, specifically? Keep diggin'."

"I wanted to live out that experience, like you see in all those after-school club anime, where a ragtag group of characters get together and accomplish something great. I wanted to be a part of that kinda group dynamic, to see what it's like for myself!" She took a deep breath, fresh tears forming in the corners of her eyes. "I can't believe I let myself break down and run away like this. Somehow, I took it for granted, but...I've already gotten everything I wanted."

"Oh?" Jacob oh'd, "And what might that be?"

"I wanted a chance to prove myself, and here it is. I wanted to create art, and that's exactly what I've been doing! And more than anything, I've always wanted to express myself on the stage, surrounded by my friends!"

Jacob stood up on the spot, prompting her to do the same. "Well, have I got good news for you, then," he said with a broad grin, "Everything you wanted, and so much more, is waitin' for ya right inside that Hall over there. It's all yours, kid. All ya gotta do now is head on up there an' take it!"

He was suddenly taken aback as Chinatsu rushed forward and pressed her face into his chest, a full-on hug where her arms simply weren't long enough to wrap entirely around his torso, but she pulled as tightly as she could anyway. And a second later, she pulled away and hopped up onto the parking lot and was racing for Shikochu Hall.

"C'mon, Jake-kun, what're ya waitin' for?" she turned and called out as she ran.

"Heh. That cheeky little brat," he growled softly, before stepping up onto the parking lot and running along after her.

***

 "Chi-chan! Yangu-san!" Yuuko was the first to notice the pair of them entering the prep room, and within seconds, the two of them were mobbed by their teammates.

"What happened?" Haruka asked, having dropped the team's banner when she rushed in to get close, "Is everything alright?"

"Y-Yeah," Chinatsu said, clumsily sliding into her usual mannerisms, "Just had to get some fresh air, y'know?"

Yuuko eyed Jacob suspiciously. "And what took you so long, while you were out there?"

He shrugged. "I needed some fresh air, too, I guess."

Chinatsu's return did a lot to help dispel much of the nervous tension that had run rampant through the group in the preceding hours. This burst of confidence would come in handy, fortunately, as they only had 2 teams preceding them and then it would be time for the Kameda High Calligraphy Club to perform out on the stage.

"Emi! Are we ready?" Jacob asked.

"Yes," she nodded, "The staff should be preparing our inkwell as we speak, and there will be 5 brushes waiting for us before we walk out on-stage."

"Chi-chan, you'll need to be precise when you place your brush inside," Yuuko added, "You're the only one using red ink, so it'll only be covering a little bit of the inkwell bottom.

"Gotcha, Yuu-chan," Chinatsu said, wearing a small, nervous smile. It was clear that she was still feeling the fear, but the fact that she was here now and she wasn't running away again was a good sign that progress was being made in that particular internal battle.

"This is it, everyone," Shinji-kun said, absolutely radiant with determination and excitement, "Just a few minutes left, and the stage is ours. Let's go out there and show the world that calligraphy isn't just some old, stodgy, and inflexible dead art to be treated like an ancient relic--it's alive, and it's powerful!"

Haruka was all fired up, as well. "I never would've thought that I'd be able to go up on stage and do anything, before meeting you all." She curled her hands into fists and stood up as tall as she could manage. "Today, I'll be performing for many things--for you guys, for my father, for Shimada-sensei--but most of all, I'm performing for myself. To prove to myself that I'm not a coward...and that I'm not a failure!"

Chinatsu, swallowing her own unease, slid her arm around Haruka and pulled her close. "Hey, now, Haru-chan, we already know that you're neither of those things! You've already contributed more than Jake-kun has! He said so himself!"

"Hrm, yeah, I guess I did..." Jacob grumbled.

"But, like you said, Haru-chan, this is your own battle. Just know that we're on your side, no matter what."

"Damn right, Peanuts," Jacob agreed. "It's like that old movie quote says, 'No one who has friends is a failure.'" He crossed his arms. "Or something like that. I'm pretty sure I got it pretty close..."

At that moment, the staff member who had been periodically calling out the teams announced, "Kameda High Calligraphy Club! The next team is the Kameda High Calligraphy Club! Please come to the stage!"

Emi took the lead. "Everyone! Let's make sure that we don't leave Shikochu Hall with any regrets!" Maybe it was she was a 3rd-year and, thus, this would be her only chance at the competition, but it was surprising to see her take charge so definitively.

"And to think you turned down the position of Club President," Chinatsu said, grinning mischievously at her. But there was no time left for banter and motivation--the stage was calling, and it was do-or-die time. The Shodou Performance Koshien demanded its next performance, and the Kameda High Calligraphy Club was ready to deliver.

***

It was strange. The moments leading up to Jacob stepping onto the stage seemed to drag on for an eternity, but once they were out there, underneath the harsh stage lights in front of what must've been over a thousand people in the audience, it all seemed to fly by with indecent haste.

The group was vaguely aware that they were being introduced, and that the speaker announced that they would be performing to "'Ace of Spades' by Motaa Heddo." Before Jacob could even register the odd pronunciation, the opening bassline was echoing through the auditorium, and he along with the rest of his teammates snapped back into reality. 'Just do it like we practiced,' he kept telling himself, and it was clear the others were united in this thought. Once the guitars came in, it was time to begin.

Long ago, the Kameda High Calligraphy Club made the logical decision that their phrases must be written upside-down, so that they don't block the view from the audience. It seemed to be the most logical thing to do at the time, but apparently, the other teams didn't do this, because as Lemmy's gravelly voice boomed overhead, there were noises of astonishment and excitement from the seats all around them. But enough of that! Gotta focus on the steps! Short song is short, so focus!

There were a few issues here and there, as using broom handles and water for practice wasn't quite analogous to the real thing--every now and again, Jacob had to dab at the paper a second time to get the stroke applied correctly, or Haruka jerked her arms backward as she saw her paint trail dragging, or Shinji-kun looking horrorstruck at a stroke that seemed wispy and thin. Their moves were flawless, but lack of experience with the actual brushes and paint were definitely going to cost them in the end.

But none of that mattered! Just keep going! This song embodies the spirit of just going for it, consequences be damned! Don't panic or fret or stumble! Use this experience as a knowledge base to improve next time!

Yuuko had been tirelessly dancing around the periphery of the banner, raising and lifting the inkwell at strategic intervals for her teammates to make use of. Somehow, impossibly, she had successfully managed to choreograph this whole dance so that her appearances were always fortuitous and precisely in time for a fresh coat. It was almost frightening how accurate her steps were. She may not have the comparatively glamorous job of creating a work of art on the banner, but Jacob was forced to concede that Yuuko was absolutely the MVP of the day, and his respect for her ticked up a notch. Or two. Or five.

On the furthest left side of their banner, Haruka had painted a delicate "Makeru ga," followed by a large and boisterous "Kachi!!", painted in Hiragana form to take the shape of a pair of dice. An impressive artistic feat. It was a phrase that deeply resonated with her: "Sometimes in order to win, you must lose." She had known what it felt like to lose, alright. But in this moment, even if she lost the competition, it would be fallacious to call her anything other than a victor.

Next to her, Shinji-kun had seemingly painted a hyper-realistic hawk, but, true to his talents and his phrase, the hawk was comprised of the words, "Nou aru no taka wa tsume wo kakusu." No one would expect such a striking piece of art, produced so quickly, to come from a young man so unassuming-looking. But of course, as his phrase states, "The skilled hawk hides his talons."

To the right of center, Emi had crafted her phrase out of a series of what appeared to be tiger stripes: "Koketsu ni irazunba koshi wo ezu." The stripes were fitting, as the phrase means, "If you don't enter the tiger's den, you'll never catch the tiger cub." Much like Shinji-kun's hawk, it was an exquisite piece of art on its own, and perfectly represented Emi's state of mind through it all--this was her only chance at the Shodou Performance Koshien, at least alongside her friends, and dammit, she was gonna seize it!

Furthest to the right, Jacob opted for something simpler, and if they were gonna be docked points, it was likely going to be his fault--arranged in the general shape of a playing card, he took the main lyric of the song's chorus and turned it into a half-English, half-Japanese phrase: "Hitsuyou na kaado wa ACE OF SPADES!!" Which, of course, is from the line, "The only card I need is the Ace of Spades!" As for why Jacob went with this particular phrase (aside from the obvious point of being a fan of the band), it wasn't hard to guess. After all, his very presence in their midst, standing in this radiant auditorium in all of its wood-paneled splendor, was the result of a reckless gamble. If anyone could understand the meaning behind Lemmy's words celebrating the spirit of the gambler, it was Jacob.

As for the dead center, where Chinatsu resided, her inscription required far less interpretation: In giant, attention-grabbing red strokes, the twin Kanji that make up "Gouki!!" were emblazoned with fiery accents, unifying everyone's work into the central themes of both the song and their banner--courage, stout-heartedness, boldness, bravery, and of course, grandiosity. It was a word with many meanings, and they all applied to Chinatsu. Armed only with Jacob's pep talk, she was able to face her terror head-on and grasp the goal she had set out to reach with her own two hands.

With the final burst of notes, it was all over. Over two months of preparation, followed by a solid month of practice, all leading to a performance that lasted just shy of 3 minutes. Mistakes were made, but none of them were major enough to warrant any kind of big penalty...or, at least, Jacob had hoped. But they did it upside-down! Surely that counted for something!

The audience, at least, seemed to have liked their performance. Jacob had never heard a Japanese crowd so enthused and energetic in their applause--or, perhaps, his mind had simply magnified it to be more impressive. Either way, it was a good sign! Would audience enjoyment come into play when it came time for the scoring?

As the Kameda High Calligraphy Club bowed upon completing their performance, awash in the reverberating applause, their return backstage was met with a staff member leading them down a different hallway that seemed to loop around to the other side of the building.

"This is where all the teams who've already performed wait," said the staff member, a young man in his early 20s with unfortunately prominent front teeth. As he opened the door to reveal a room nearly identical to the prep room, where 10 other teams were now seated, a large projector screen displaying a flat shot of the stage was visible. Well, at least now they'd have something to watch.

"Please wait here until the competition concludes. Your personal belongings," which had been gathered and stored in large plastic bags upon their entering, "...will be brought back to you shortly," the young man said politely before closing the door behind them. The clock in the corner of the waiting room showed that it was just a few minutes before noon. Likely another two hours before the judging begins.

"Well, nothin' we can do about it now," Jacob said, plopping down on the floor and lying down, resting his hands under his head. "Just gotta wait for our shit to be handed back, and then we can enjoy the show."

***

Getting all 28 teams to fit onto the stage definitely must have taken a herculean effort, logistically speaking, but somehow they managed to do it, each team encouraged to huddle around their banner-bearers. The team from Kameda High found themselves at the front, midway stage left. At least they had room to breathe! The panel of judges would soon render their decision, and, according to the presenter--an incredibly attractive woman with a short bob who may have been in her late 20s--a Top 3 will be chosen from among them.

Getting a sneak peak of their 17 follow-up rivals did little to calm the nerves of the Kameda High Calligraphy Club. There were teams who tripped all over themselves, froze up, and painted super basic banners, but there were also teams who drew up jaw-dropping works of high art and other teams who took the dance element to seemingly impossible extremes, cranking out quality calligraphy while performing an all-out gauntlet of acrobatic stunts. Their own performance was no slouch, either, but Jacob couldn't help but feel out-muscled.

The judges, apparently, were a group of 5 people directly center in front of the stage, in the middle row, where they would, of course, get the best wide-angle view. There were 2 men and 3 women, mixed in age. About as diverse as a panel of 5 people could be, it seemed. And they just handed an envelope to a courier, who brought it up to the presenter on-stage. This was it. Like, for real. It it. The results. The culmination of all their hard work. The barometer by which their next performance will be measured.

"As the master of ceremonies here at the Shikokuchuuou City Public Culture Hall," the lovely presenter began, "I would like to thank our panel of judges for their careful consideration of today's high-school team performances, and I would also like to remind everyone that the high-school solo performances will begin shortly after this presentation."

So, there were solo performers in the hall right now, too? "Damn," Jacob mumbled to himself, inaudible among the ambient noise of the Hall, "This place really can cram a lotta people into it. I'm impressed."

"Before the Top 3 performing teams are unveiled," the presenter said, "The judges would like to acknowledge a few honorable mentions--talented teams who only just missed out on those coveted top sports. First honorable mention goes to...Tennoji Polytechnic High's Calligraphy Club, from the busy city of Osaka!"

This must have been one of the first 10 competing teams, so Jacob and the others still had no idea what the competition really looked like. Nonetheless, there was an eruption of rowdy cheering from somewhere far off stage right--the kids at Tennoji Polytechnic were clearly a-okay with an honorable mention. Which, y'know, fair enough. It's not like wealth and fame were ever on the line.

The presenter breathed in to speak once more, which was caught by the mic. "And for our second and final honorable mention, the judges were particularly impressed by the team from...Omori Municipal High's Performing Arts Club, having come all this way from lovely Sapporo!"

Jacob recognized that name--it was those extremely acrobatic kids whose dance routine was almost beyond belief, though their banner ended up being somewhat lacking in flair. The cheers erupted from about six feet behind them and to the right, this time, as the kids from Sapporo seemed to be overjoyed that they got the honorable mention. Which was concerning. Did they get penalized for lacking in the visuals, or was the bar overall just set that high...? Once the applause from the audience died down, the presenter knew it was time to ramp up the hype.

"And now, it's time to reveal our Top 3 performers, starting with our 3rd place winners! Hailing from the industrious Ota City, nestled in the waterways surrounding Tokyo..."

The group's stomachs seemed to drop into the same collective pit, all at once.

"...performing to 'Ace of Spades' by Motaa Heddo..."

This couldn't be real. It was too good to be true. Surely they were about to be bait-and-switched. Was it possible? Could they really have...?

"Our 3rd place performers are..."

She didn't even have the chance to say it before it began. At the front of the stage, off to the side, there was uproarious shouting and cheering and much jumping up and down in a display of undisguised joy emanating from...

"The Kameda High Calligraphy Club!"