What Do I Say?

I wiggled my fingers around my phone as I eyed the blinking cursor in the text box. "Hey, sorry about what I said. I'm dumb. I practiced. You were also mean, can you apologize too?" I typed out.

I snarled and facepalmed. It was what I wanted to say, but it was so callous. I felt like a boxy robot trying to compute emotion.

"I'm sorry about what I said. I got heated after what you said to me. But I practiced, so let's—"

Let's what? I asked myself. Make up? Be friends? I wasn't her friend. I was no one to her—just some dick who she happened to share a moment with.

That didn't change how I felt about it. I always liked to tell myself that I didn't need the approval of others, but I also knew I was wrong. If someone was upset with me, it ate at me until I was sick to my stomach. That was a feeling that hadn't gone away after the Change.

Maybe Gabi will know.

Gabriella was my first new friend in high school. We met in a social studies class and bonded over the hit German videogame Mein Kraft, of all things, although she decidedly was not a “gamer”. She had grown sets of bird wings on her back, reminiscent of a slightly biblically inaccurate angel. She was one of the few people I knew that had retained her own face after the Change. But most importantly, she was very eloquent.

I tapped Gabi's tab and started typing.

You: Hey gab

She was quick to reply.

Gabi: What's up?

You: I need help writing an apology.

Gabi: For what?

I explained the situation to her as best I could. After some finger strain, she understood.

Gabi: What she said was mean, but you should still apologize. Jessica seems like the type who'd understand.

You: So what do I say?

Gabi: How about this:

Gabi: Hi Jessica, I apologize about what I said. I weaponized something you told me in confidence, and that was really cruel. I practiced the presentation, too, so I hope we can put this behind us and go for the A.

Gabi: And then tomorrow tell her how much what she said upset you.

You: You think that will work?

Gabi: I'm pretty sure.

You: Thanks.

It was late, so I was conflicted about sending the message. But I decided to just go with it.

And right as I pushed send, a new message appeared.

Jessica: Hi Noel, I apologize about my demeanor earlier today. I lashed out for no reason. I hope that we can still work as a team and get a good grade.

You: Hi Jessica, I apologize about what I said. I weaponized something you told me in confidence, and that was really cruel. I practiced the presentation, too, so I hope we can put this behind us and go for the A.

Jessica: Oh.

I silently stared at the screen, dumbfounded. It was starting to get hard to hide my smile. I just felt exceptionally nice.

Jessica was clearly far more mature than I. I almost felt bad she had to be put in my group.

I wasn't sure how to respond, so I thought some good natured mocking would lighten the mood. I regretted it as soon as I pressed send.

You: Oh

Jessica: So do you want to give it another go tomorrow?

You: Yeah

I sighed, setting the phone down and leaning back.