Chapter 16:
The Tale of how I was Reincarnated as a Hero but Decided I'd Help the Demon Lord Instead.
There were times when being undercover really sucked.
It had been a week since my encounter with the creepy guy and his tattoo. During the week, he told me a few things. Apparently, The Chained Demon used to be a group of rogue demons who denied the demon lord and roamed the lands killing anything in their path, but for whatever reason Lothrin recruited them, making them one of the most dangerous platoons Lothrin controls. And yet I couldn't say anything about it to Gurak and the others. Not when I knew how useful the information I could get from The Chained Demon would be for Towyn.
Lying in my bed on the final night of the waiting period, I stared at the roof. "Once this is all over, I hope I never have to think again. Thinking complicates everything." I said before drifting asleep.
Come morning, I heard a horrendous shriek originating from Gurak's room. I couldn't decipher whether it was him or if he felt like forcing helium down a cat's throat.
I lazily made my way to his room half-asleep. I passed Laif practicing words he would never use, in front of a mirror.
"Nyx, I was thinking. We're gonna be busy for the next few months so I might not get the chance to say this but," Laif seized up like a motor without oil unable to complete his sentence even when he thought he was alone.
"But... What?" Nyx said as she snuck up on Laif turning his whole body red.
I took this moment to continue my way to identify the shriek from Gurak's room.
The sight that I beheld was one of true terror.
Gurak laid on his back, his arms and legs strapped to the bed in an 'X' shape, on his face his eyes were screaming for assistance as he couldn't actually make noise due to the ball-gag in his mouth.
"Really Gurak!? That's disgusting!" I shouted in disgust as I averted my eyes.
He somehow freed his mouth. "Help me! She tied me to the goddamn bed when I was asleep. I don't want to think about what she'll do when she comes back."
Gurak continued rubbing his chafed wrists as the bartender served everyone food. Laif appeared to still be incoherent from his awkward encounter with Nyx, which I'd guess did not go as planned. Nyx, however, dug right into her meal.
"Gurak, today's your last day here. As such, I have a bit of a secret to tell you when we're alone next," The barmaid said in a flirty tone. "So come back soon."
Gurak forced a smile on his face as he gave her a firm thumbs up. "Will do."
Only as we left did I realize that I had no idea how to actually enlist. Did I just approach a random guard? Or was there a specific person I needed to speak to.
"Damn it. Laif, can you and the others find the recruiter, I have to find out what that secret was." Gurak said with a defeated look on his face.
"Wow. That's all it takes? You are a sad, sad man," Laif taunted.
"Look who's talking, you don't even have the balls to confess your very obvious feelings for-" Gurak stopped mid sentence as Laif covered his mouth and threatened him with an arrow at his gut.
"Just go talk to the bearded woman already!" Laif shouted defensively.
Gurak did just that and Laif immediately took off with a very confused Nyx. "This'll go quicker if we split up."
"Then why are you two together? Oh nevermind." I said as I began wandering in the direction of the guards barracks.
"Rogue hero? I wonder how you got that title." A voice said originating from none other then the same creepy guy from The Chained Demon as he stood in a alleyway averting his eyes from mine. "I suppose it's irrelevant. Just another name, you seem to have a few."
"Whereas you appear to have none. " I retorted making sure to avoid eye contact as well, in fear of someone seeing, especially one of my new party members.
"I suppose your correct, as of now I have no name. You can call me Cut though for convenience," He said. "Today's your last day in the waiting period, if you want to stay you need to enlist or become a citizen, I'll wager you’re going for the former. As a hero, and more importantly, as an arch-demon, you would be a huge help for The Chained Demon. Keep in mind, even though your eye and hair haven't turned crimson doesn't mean we won't be able to tell you’re a demon, after all I found out didn't I, and once they do, you'll regret not making this decision. As for the enlisting process, basically talk to anyone, this place is filled with soldiers, you just need someone to vouch for you, once they do, you need prove, such as a certificate. Good luck, and I'll see you again, Jiroki."
Hearing footsteps departing, I came to the conclusion Cut left, and I regrouped with Laif and Nyx in front of the inn.
"We just need a citizen to vouch for us. In order to get in." I said plainly. "What did you find out?"
"...Um. You know, the same," Laif replied, though his tone of voice proved that he wasn't actually doing anything.
"Right. And Nyx?"
"Laif has a surprisingly strong grip, and for some reason he randomly loses the ability to speak. Luckily he's not a mage. If he messed up an incantation he would probably kill us," Nyx answered ignorant to Laif's true feelings as Laif himself died on the inside.
Gurak bursted from the inn with a prideful aura radiating from him as he held a piece of paper in his hand as though it was an Olympic trophy. "Do you know what this is? This is a certificate of vouchiness, basically my charm has gone and done its thing again and got us a trip to boot camp. And a date with the finest girl in Rexia. "
"Don't tell me you mean the barmaid," I groaned.
"Velacia is her name, and yes she's exactly who I mean," Gurak said, sending me and everyone else in a state of confusion. "I think I'm in love."
Not letting us a second to process Gurak's confession, he led us to the gatehouse separating us from the next district and flashed his certificate in the guards face.
"We're looking to enlist in the demon slayers!" He shouted bursting in excitement as he waved the paper back and fourth
Eventually the guard got tired of trying to read the paper while it was being moved, and he snatched the paper from Gurak's hand and analyzed it will careful eye. "If you insist. Come on, follow me," The guard replied monotone.
After giving a signal to someone on the ramparts, the gates began to rise and the guard began escorting us through the living district.
Excellent quality houses stretched far and wide as far as my eye could see. It would've been easy enough to get lost without a guide, which made me thankful of ours. In the far distance, I could see the roof of the exquisite palace itself towering over everything else nearby. At least that wouldn't be hard to find.
"Here we are," Our escort said as he finished the tour, leaving us outside a training grounds of sorts encircled by golden gate, a stone path starting at the entrance led to a giant building easily capable of housing at least five-hundred people.
"You impudent worms! Didn't I tell you already?! Keep your heels together and spread your feet in a ninety-degree angle! And don't you even think about putting your damn hands in your frickin’ pockets!" The instructor yelled, pacing in front of a few recruits training in the yard as they shivered in place.
"Right. Ignore them and follow the stone path to the building. I know I already told you to ignore the recruits but seriously, don't make eye contact." The guard warned as he opened the gates.
I was careful to keep my eyes in front of me and away from the recruits as I was warned. Gurak on the other hand was looking left and right like a dog in a park.
"Gurak, I swear to gods, you’re dumb as sand. Didn't we just get warned about doing just that?" Laif asked both yelling and whispering.
"Your just jealous because you left your testicles back home," Gurak taunted as he picked up in volume.
"You know what Gurak! Up yours!" Laif replied, whilst reminding Gurak that he was number one.
"Um, guys your getting a little loud." Nyx whimpered as we both stopped to watch Gurak and Laif.
Gurak raised his hand dismissively. "I'm sorry for being rude, Nyxie, but I just got him to flip me off. I can't stop now. Not when seaweed hair just started getting riled up."
As tension picked up, the recruits began to turn their attention to Gurak and Laif.
"Are you guys looking to join?" The instructor said with a wide smile on his face. "We're always looking for more recruits, the more annoying the better." His voice suddenly shifted into an evil cackle. "Your much funner to break that way."
All of the recruits stood perfectly in suit and we made our way to the building without another word shared between us.
Inside was a room reminiscent of a waiting room with several chairs and benches, some boring magazines, and even that crappy waiting room music I missed so much.
The room had one person in it, a bald man dressed in a surprisingly modern suit, in a pair of rectangular red spectacles with his customer service look glued into his face. "Ahh, it's always good to see eager recruits," he said in a positive tone of voice. "Fortunately we don't seem to be particularly full at this moment so you can proceed to your psychological evaluation whenever you fill fit." His stormy silver eyes then turned to me as his smile ran away from his face. "Though I'm guessing at least one of you will fail. Statistics and all."
"Ohohoh. I'll go first." Gurak shouted with his hand raised like a schoolkid.
"You’re not in school anymore, though your intellect would suggest otherwise. Proceed to the door on your right. I'm sure your friends will be waiting for you here, that is the point of this room after all," the guy continued. Even when he was insulting us, his weirdly happy voice and body language didn't change.
After what felt like hours, Gurak exited the room and stumbled onto the couch we were sitting on with an exhausted look on his everything.
"I know I said you may begin the evaluation whenever you see fit, but I don't have all day. The elf is next." The bald man said.
"Right," Laif answered as he stared at Gurak with concerned eyes, fearing what exactly was in store for him.
"Are you daft?" The way the bald man expressed himself sounded as though it was an honest question. "You were here when I told your bulky friend which door, right?"
Laif proceeded through the door without saying another word.
"I'm not insane, I'm not insane, I'm not insane..." Gurak repeated as he assumed the fetal position.
Laif was next to finish, he looked a lot like Gurak did when he was done.
"What happened? Is it really that bad?" Nyx asked fearing for her sanity.
"Death is the greatest illusion of life, for after so called death, do we not ascend to become gods? Without the shackles of the body, the spirit is immortal. But then if death is an illusion, and boundless life is on the horizon, then we should cling to this way of ignorance, unaware of that which defines our being. For if all know death is but an obstacle to immortality, then none will chose to live. The good, the bad, and the wicked, we must embrace it all. As the present is short, and the future is infinite... " Laif mumbled incoherently as Nyx coddled him, if he was right in the head he would probably be freaking out.
"Hmm. Edge-lord, you’re next." The bald man called out.
Unfortunately I was well aware he was talking about me.
Nervously, I approached the door, then suddenly like a band-aid I slammed the door open and saw a therapist office filled with 'calming' decorations such as, numerous paintings, creepy porcelain dolls, and the weird woodpecker toy with the water. The room had a single man identical to the bald man, sitting in an office chair, bridging his hands together and resting his head on them.
I quickly took a double take of the guy outside and the one in front of me but they still looked the same.
Bald guy two, gestured me to take a seat on a couch across from him. As soon as I did he spoke in a sinister voice. "Oh, your a hero eh? Good to know."
Immediately I sat back up from the couch not knowing if it had an effect on his ability to read me. "Nope, the couch isn't it, interesting theory though... Ah what have we here, Jiroki Tokuma. Does that mean anything to you?"
Baldy was beginning to pry quickly into my head, the fact that he recognized that I was thinking of the couch proved that he was reading surface thoughts so I had to change what I was thinking about before he delved too deep.
"What the hell is Moe Magic Crystal Rush? Is it a dating game or just plain smut?"
"Kinda both." I answered as I retook my seat and calmed my mind. "So your reading minds? I guess it works perfectly for checking someone's mental stability, after all nobody knows someone better then themselves right?"
Baldy decided to completely ignore my question and retorted with one of his own. "Blocking your thoughts only makes you seem suspicious, do you have something to hide? Rogue hero."
He began breaching the mental walls I put up, he was starting to get close to Makono. For whatever reason, something clicked.
Mind reading works like probes, the aggressor sends a probe from their mind into the defenders, then calls it back with the newfound information it collects, if I could alter what the probe brings back to his mind I could stop him from learning anything important.
Fortunately I just got a new spell.
Mind Magician: With this spell I can peek into the mind of my target, not enough to read thoughts, but enough to influence or even alter some. For example, a creepy psychologist tries to read my mind, I could use mind magician to morph what he sees.
Using the spell, I did just that making him see something that would be easy to see why I would want hidden, but not what I actually hid.
The man leaned back in his chair with a triumphant look on his face. "Just as I thought, you bent to my will as well, you did try though. Unfortunately it didn't work, I saw what you did to that poor raccoon."
"Shucks. You got me." I said deadpan.
After I left, Nyx was next, yet she seemed unfazed by the creepy psychologist.
"Hmm. You guys seem to have all passed, much to my surprise." The first baldy said. "You may now proceed to hell. Say hi to grandma while your there." He finished just as creepy as ever.
We were then guided to the yard we came from, where we saw the same instructor we antagonized.
"Ohoho, this is gonna be great!" He said as he rubbed his hands together anxiously.
And with a synonymous gulp from the four us, we were officially enlisted in the demon slayers organization by the end of the day.
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