Three Weeks Earlier: Aftermath

As expected at the end of times, school was canceled until further notice. Everyone was simply too frazzled to think about work.

Similarly, most of the world shut down. Emergency and government services still tried to operate, but were understaffed. The streets were desolate. There was an acute spike in motor vehicle accidents as well as hospital deaths as much of modern medicine had been invalidated.

I tried watching the news with my father and stepmother, but the stories were so jumbled and the production quality so erratic that it was hard to follow.

My dinky town may have been asleep, but that wasn't the norm. It was determined that the change had occurred at exactly 8:53 AM UTC: daytime in much of the world. All camera footage showed the same thing, too: one moment everyone was human, and then they weren’t. There were rumors floating around of “in between” frames caught on lucky high speed cameras showing some animorph action, but nothing was verified.

I was using UToob—the video platform—to peer out into the world. I watched as everyone scrambled, trying to understand how something so far outside the realm of possibility could occur. No scientific nor even religious theory could explain what had happened. Some people tried to take credit for predicting it, but all their claims were baseless. Conspiracy theorists lapped it up. I just doom scrolled through the site, hating every second of my new reality.

About three days after the Change, my phone buzzed. I rolled over, listless. It was a group message from Gabi to Paul and me. "What’s up?" it read. I winced.

I was curious what had become of them—or rather what they had become. I opened up the message.

A moment later, Paul responded.

Paul: Dude, I’m white.

Gabi: Like just a human?

Paul: Yeah its so weird

Paul: I haven’t seen it happen to anyone else

Paul: You?

Gabi: I have wings.

Paul: Are you a bird?

Gabi: More like an angel

Paul: Woah that’s crazy

Paul: Can you fly

Gabi: Idk I haven’t tried

Gabi: What about you Noel?

I had no clue what to say. How could I possibly tell my friends that I had become a woman? How could I ever confront them again when I could barely look at myself in the mirror, when I couldn't listen to the sound of my own voice, and when my fragile family was burgeoning at the seams, threatening to rip apart?

I knew I owed them a response. Paul was my best friend, and Gabi was my closest. But the response didn't have to be immediate. They would understand if I took time to process things.

I stared at the message log, giving my last moments of contemplation before shutting down the phone and rolling back into bed. I wasn’t tired, but I was going to sleep. I wanted my dreams back. They were the only thing that seemed to make any sense. Unless I was sitting on my tail in a weird way, in which case they turned strange.

Tail issues aside, I buried my face into my pillow and waited long and terrible hours for the sleep to overtake me.

I woke up and found I was pleasantly groggy. Waking came with the clarity of a fresh mind, while the grogginess gave me something to keep my fresh mind on. I looked at my phone to discover that it was almost nine at night, which was conveniently my bedtime. I was thankful I would soon be able to continue sleeping the day away.

I walked to my desk, doing a single math problem from the study sheet for the indefinitely postponed quiz. It would feel good to do something, I reasoned.

I shook my head. The problem was too easy. I’d need another.

Again, too easy. Another.

Another.

Another.

Another.

Another.

Another.

ANOTHER.

ANOTHER.

I frowned. There were only two more questions left. I wasn’t an overachiever. I was merely an achiever, and yet in my pursuit of a distraction, I had tricked myself into doing so many. Maybe I can use that, I thought.

I wanted to turn on my computer and play a game. And at the realization that I didn’t have my computer, I wanted to cry. It was so stupid how I wanted to cry over my computer. But I couldn’t help it: my sad, lonely life was all there, on the internet—my greatest distraction. My computer was broken. I was a child, I knew, for being so addicted to the thing that more often than not brought me the most emptiness. But it was those brief moments of fulfillment and ecstasy that I couldn’t help it.

I put my head down on my desk, my mind reflooded with my body problems.

I sat up and opened up my phone. Maybe it was time. Maybe they could be my distraction.

I instinctively rolled my eyes when I saw how much they’d blown up the group chat. I appreciated them keeping me in on everything but it felt like overkill.

Gabi: I see he read the messages lol. I hope its not too bad. Noel if its awkward don’t worry we won’t be weird or anything and we are here when you want to talk

Paul: Yeah dude it can’t be any worse than some of these people

Gabi: My mom is like half goat

Paul: What no way lmao

Paul: That’s super fitting

Gabi: Why

Paul: Isn’t she sort of a jerk

Paul: And like super religious

Gabi: Well religious yeah idk about jerk

Paul: Anyway aren’t goats like a devil thing

Paul: Like Satan has a goat head

Paul: Right

Gabi: I guess so. Tbh I don’t know a whole lot about that stuff

Paul: Lol

I took a deep breath. Maybe they would be able to understand.

You: Half goat? Half greatest of all time?

It took a minute for Gabi to reply.

Gabi: Omg lol. What's up?

There was the question again: “What’s up?” I didn’t know what was up. I didn’t feel like I had a real answer. And then it dawned on me: I could just say that.

You: I don’t know what’s up

It showed Gabi was typing for a long time, very carefully considering her reply.

Gabi: Do you want to explain in person?

You: That would be embarrassing

Gabi: We won’t judge you

Her reply, while well meaning, left a sour taste in my mouth. What could they judge me on? It wasn’t my decision. I didn’t choose to be a demon woman.

Paul: Let’s meet up guys

Paul: Are you doing anything tomorrow

Paul: I’ve been really bored

Gabi: Oh that’s a good idea. You guys want to meet at the park at 11?

I must have typed, deleted and retyped my response thirty times. I wanted to desperately see my friends, but not as I was—I wanted them to see the real me, whatever that meant.

Paul: Why so early

Gabi: Omg that’s not early

Paul: Noel tell her that’s early

You: That's not early

Paul: You guys suck

Paul: See you at 11 I guess

Gabi: Lol ok

It took a long time for me to reply. It was only two simple letters, yet I was nearly convulsing trying to write them. I wondered if I really had to tell them. I wondered if I could just run away; if I could start a new life, and save up money to get all the surgeries I needed to look at myself in the mirror.

I wondered if that would even help. I couldn’t look at myself before.

Finally, I clenched my phone with a grip of iron and typed the letters.

You: Ok

I sighed in relief as it was sent.