Solaris

I rolled my eyes at my anxiety. I had never felt so much in my life, and it was starting to become predictable and boring—especially as I stood in front of Jessica’s door.

We’re friends, I thought to myself. It didn’t make it any easier.

Hesitantly, I knocked. I was earlier than I said I’d be by about five minutes. I contemplated waiting, but it would have looked weird.

I heard footsteps.

Jessica didn’t have feet.

That was lost on me until a large, dragon-like creature opened up the door. They looked like a reptilian bat or a pterodactyl with their sacly, winged forearms. The person had gnarly horns behind their head and a long protrusion coming down from their chin, reminiscent of a beard.

I swallowed in angst. I was sure I had the wrong house.

“Jess, your friend is here,” the dragon-person said in a deep, gravely voice.

“Thanks, Dad! Hi, Noel!” Jessica yelled from up the stairs beyond the door.

“Noel, is it?” the man, apparently Jessica’s dad, asked.

“Y-yeah,” I said, squeaking in a much more feminine tone than I would have preferred.

I saw Jessica start to slither down the stairs.

“Nice to meet you,” Jessica’s dad said, extending the thumb on his wing. “I thought my daughter said you were a young man.”

I awkwardly grabbed his appendage.

“He is, Dad, he’s a… succubus,” Jessica corrected.

I pulled away, barely registering what they were talking about.

“Ah, my bad,” he said. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

I nodded. I wasn’t sure why, but grabbing his thumb felt bizarre. It was like I was a toddler grabbing the hand of an adult.

I followed Jessica inside, us turning left into the living room and her father turning into the kitchen. It was as ordinary as a suburban living room could be. There was a beige sofa, a somehow even beige-er recliner, and an entertainment set. I almost felt proud of my father's anything but plain retrofuturist house with our open layout, distinctive colors, and minimalist arrangement.

"Do you want to put the DVD in?"

"I thought it was a Bluray?" I pedantically verified.

"Oh, yeah," Jessica shrugged it off.

The box was sitting on the coffee table and I did as I was asked. Jessica slithered up on the couch, wrapping her body on itself like rope and letting her tail fall to the floor.

I walked over to the recliner.

"Ah, that chair is broken, actually."

I looked at the small, empty spot on the couch, blinking. She was taking up practically the entire sofa. What the fuck is this romcom settup? I asked myself. "Uh, okay," I said.

I sat on the couch, pulling in my arms and legs. There was approximately one Planck length between her and me.

I looked over to Jessica, wearing a mostly emotionless, slightly surprised expression. Jessica looked back at me, as unreadable as ever, her eyelids clearing off some debris.

I coughed.

"Sorry," she said. "Sometimes I forget how… long I am."

I stared at her. Then, I laughed. The world had been transformed for weeks, yet the statement was just absurd as ever. "Yeah. I forget about these things all the time," I said, pointing at the bony protrusions on my head. "It feels really weird to bump them."

She slightly scooted over, letting me breathe. "Huh," she said simply. "What about your tail?"

"It has a mind of its own—well, not literally, but I forget about it most of the time.”

She tilted her head up and down in a nod.

I was curious about something too. "Can I ask you something… uh…."

She stared at me intensely. "What?"

"Ah… never mind," I brushed it off, embarrassed.

"No, what is it?"

"No, really, it was nothing…" I muttered.

"Just ask, I won't be upset."

She looked at me with a blank and nonjudgmental expression—at least, as nonjudgmental an expression as could be made with her limited control of her facial muscles. It almost seemed like she knew what I was going to ask.

I gasped. "What's it like being a snake?"

Jessica huffed… joyfully. "I knew it."

"Ah… sorry," I said instinctively.

"No, no," she assured. "I just…. This is going to sound silly, but I've been waiting for someone to ask."

I furrowed my brow. "Really?"

"Everyone got asked… and I felt… left out, honestly."

"I envy you, seriously," I snorted. "If someone asks me what it's like being a girl one more time I'm gonna punch them."

"Darn…" she said, "Missed my chance."

I rolled my eyes. "So what is it like?"

"You know, not that bad."

I stared at her in utter confusion. "Not that bad?"

"Well, I thought that not having… you know, arms and legs would be awful. It was scary. But my tail is just so dexterous and I'm ssso strong that—'' she gushed before unceremoniously slamming her mouth shut. "Sorry," she eeked.

I frowned. "For what?"

"I was getting a bit carried away and I hissed," she said painfully.

"I don't really care. I stutter and stuff all the time."

"Yeah, but that doesn't—it's… one of the bad parts… people are afraid of me."

"I don't know… I-I mean… I think it's more complicated, and—" I quickly shut up too. I frowned. I had more to say, but it didn’t feel like the time.

“...What do you mean ‘more complicated’?” she asked sheepishly.

“I-I think… people just don’t like snakes,” I gave in. I felt awful the moment I said it.

It was frustrating not being able to tell her feelings. I could see that her eyelids were half closed, but I had no way of telling what it meant.

“I see,” she finally said, neutral.

“I’m—I’m not, er… I do… I think snakes are… I don’t hate snakes, though, really,” I tried amending. “Look, I mean—I mean, it’s not your fault. People are afraid of snakes, not Jessica, er—you.” I slumped down in defeat. “Sorry.” God, I’m fucking it up again, I thought.

“No, it’s okay,” she said wistfully. “Maybe that’s a good thing,” she chuckled. “Maybe it’s just out of my control.”

“I dunno,” I sighed. “I didn’t mean to spoil the mood.”

“No, it’s okay. But I think you owe me a question,” she said deviously.

“Ugh, what is it?” I chuckled, glad that she was still in good enough spirits.

"What's it like being a girl?" she teased.

I slowly blinked, shaking my head, smirking. "Ugh. You really want to know?"

"Uhm… yeah?"

"I don't know what it's really like."

"Why so?"

"It's really complicated."

"Elaborate," she demanded.

I pursed my lips. "Well," I said, trying to collect my thoughts. I had no clue where to begin. "The only thing I can say for certain is that people treat me differently."

"What about the other parts? Have you had a period?"

I cringed. Jessica could be so unimaginably straightforward. It made me want to stick my head in the sand and let myself suffocate.

"No…" I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh. Huh. Is it all there? Do you have the… parts for it?”

I buried my head in my hands. “Probably,” I relucted, “Can we get off this now?”

“Sorry, sorry. I shouldn’t have pried,” she retracted.

I took a deep breath. “Whatever. It is what it is. I just wish none of this bullshit ever happened.”

Jessica nodded. “Yeah, same. I was looking forward to going to prom.”

“Why can’t you?” I asked.

She exhaled. “There’s no one to go with. I think I’d feel too awkward.”

“Psht,” I dismissed. “I mean….” I trailed off. “I could go…?”