A character, an assassin and all the beer?

   It was a gloomy day. The dark clouds seemed to devour the struggling sunlight. It seemed be eating whatever positive mood I had in the beginning of the day as well. All I could do was sigh.

 I made my way out of my dead end hell. Oh, job is probably  the better term.  I worked at a call center for people who wanted to cancel their cell phone service. Basically, I got to talk to nothing but people who were angry that my fellow coworkers didn’t care enough to begin with. Ten hours of being hated while still trying to help.

The bitter gray pierced my soul . However, as all the sheep were set free for the day , I managed to fake a smile. “ Today went by fast and it’s perfect tv binge watching weather.” I lied through my teeth. The few newbies grinned believing my enthusiastic mirage. “ Yeah. It’s not so bad if you don’t look at the clock.”I patted Chloe’s choppy auburn covered head in reassurance..  I shot another reassuring tug of my lip to them all.” Chloe’s got this all figured out. I hope you guys do too. Enjoy the rest of your day.” I waved like an inspirational soulless zombie.

Of course two minutes later it started to down pour. My stupid midnight colored mess blocked my line of sight . Doesn’t help I’m only five foot. My field of vision is pretty limited.  That was when I foolishly  haphazardly ran towards he bus station. I ran straight into a man that could and would change so many time lines.

He stood in a tailored black suit. Since he was almost a foot taller, I had to send my apologies up after I rammed into him. I was exhausted. I’d like to use that as the excuse it took me a second to realize I made him drop his pistol . However, I was not too exhausted to realize it had a silencer. I’ve watched a lot of movies .

Bloody hell.I just wanted to go to my friend’s pub and drink a beer. It’s been a crappy day already. His beady green eyes widened as he darted down to retrieve it.I kicked it away towards the road. 

I saw him focus on one car that was stopped at the light. Of course this bastard with a silencer was going for a limo. What kind of espionage novel did I jump into? Most likely one I’ve meddled in enough that  I won’t escape. Ugh. Just  wanted to be good person.

As all the these thoughts flooded me, I  took my eyes away for a split second. When I regained focus I realized he had pulled a spare from his back pocket. Why evil James Bond?

A good heart I may have. Protectiveness of my fellow mankind. Also, maybe . It was  common sense that’s always seemed to allude me. This instance was a picture perfect billboard of my natural idiocy. 

I put my predominant right hand  on the newly revealed e guns barrel and tilted it up. Silencer or not , I heard it. Maybe I felt it more than that.I felt the lightning of pain as it ripped a whole in my palm. It was an overwhelming sensation. Unfortunately, not the good kind. After words I heard a few mores shots. I was able to stop the shot that would’ve take out the fancy pants in the limo by yanking it  up. Then a swift kick left me on my back winded . Followed  by 00 lurches  huge bones fingers wrapping around my throat . Okay, I wasn’t finishing my anime today . Obviously, I’m gonna die for someone I don’t know in a limousine . I’m sure there’s worse ways to go.

 The world fades to white. Yeah!? Not black. Not sure what that was about. Next thing I know, I’m in a large swanky hotel room ,The idiot who wanted to kill me is mere feet aways with as bullet hole in his forehead .

Panic erupts from the core of my being. Did I live to die another way? Shit. Hope the newbies at work will be okay, My family better take care of my cat. Dear besties….well you sucked but I loved you. It’s crazy how so much can race through your mind when you’ve given up on survival.

Then I noticed something important. My hand was bandaged and  my hand didn’t hurt as much as it should .I have a whole hole in it as a Good  dumbass Samaritan badge of honor. Why and how do I have first aid?

 A frosty elderly woman’s voice snapped me back from my inner chaos . Ms. Hall who do you work for? Why did you stop the assassin? How much are you getting paid?

 At this point I was to tired to come up with a witty retort. I’ll blame the blood loss. But my name? How did this old broad know that ?” How do you know my name ?” I sheepishly questioned.

Three very large men in suits all pulled their guns and aimed at me. The largest gorilla barked . “ we’ve seen your id. Answer all mrs. Lancasters questions now or you’ll also need a rug like you’re friend over there .”

Feeling very lost and all the energy draining from my body , I simply  mustered.“heard.please repeat the questions.” That’s when you know you’ve worked years in restaurants.

“ who do you work for?”. “ Simply cellular communications.  The save department.”  The huge buffoon leading this interrogation cocked his eyebrow. “ you work for a cell phone company.”  Maybe at this point, I was delirious.” We can’t all go around shooting and interrogating people. I just help unhappy customers for ten bucks an hour. Want to trade ?”

The old lady sitting in the chair watching bursted out in laughter. She had curly white hair. I guess age got to her because she made my short self seem tall. However, she still seemed sturdy and with all her faculties intact.  I’m only thirty and mine feel like their fading fast .

She slowly rose from her cozy lazy boy. I guess if you’re gonna watch a show might as well be comfortable,right? Now here is the important question.” Why? You stopped him twice so Oscar says. Why risk your life?” Her huge minion who had been trying to intimidate me nodded honestly.

“Well, I accidentally ran into him. Saw he had a gun with a silencer. Those aren’t meant for I love yous so I kicked it. He had another one and it was pointed at a car. Guess it was to dark for anyone to notice or well we are in a big city. Most people don’t care. I try to care. I tried to stop it. I’d say I did a bad job but he’s needing a rug as King Kong said and I guess for now I’m still alive .”

Another fit of laughter from her echoed throughout the room. She seemed tickled. She wrapped her arms around my slender shoulders. Did I avoid the hit man to be taken out by mother time? Crap. She embraced me in hug as her chest bounced to try to contain the humor. 

“Ms. Hall , you are a breath of fresh air. If you could have anything right now what would you like?” Without hesitation, I had my answer.” The beer I was looking forward to and then middle of my  hand back?”

She put her hand over her mouth to stop her amusement from boiling out again. “Get this woman one of every beer from downstairs and a bottle of the finest whiskey, gin and vodka . Variety is the spice of life. Oh and are you alergic to anything?” 

Ten minutes ago I thought I was a goner. Now she’s buying me the whole bar. Eh , guess I’ve had worse days. “ only pineapple and prudes.” She cackled at my response. “ Oscar no pineapples. Top ten in city. Don’t tip the prudes .” She giggled. He never broke his serious demeanor. “ yes madam.

“You are quite the character ms.hall.” She grinned with joy. I held out my injured hand for a handshake out of habit . “ well ,seeing I almost died  for you and you got me a beer lovers heaven….just call me ,Jesse.” I quickly pulled my hand back.” Sorry , that hand is out of order at the moment ms….Lancaster was it?”

“ Yes. Welcome to Lancaster boulevard my dear. Also, don’t worry to much about that hand it’ll be good as new soon. Also, you’re whole life is about to change.I haven’t smiled this much since my dear Freddie was alive. Tonight  we dine and drink like queens . Tomorrow we discuss you’re new life.” 

Lancaster? Oh yeah.Streets .Hotels. Banks. Holy crap. She owns this city .New life? I just wanted a beer before I trained people tomorrow. Well, I don’t want my own eternal rug so I guess I might as well go with the flow.