It’s Complicated

Electric sparks coiled out from within Bread’s hands, snapping at the lion’s nostrils with sharp ferocity. The creature moaned as if in pain. Then he retreated into the zookeeper’s arms like a small, well-trained house cat.

Val limped over. “Are you okay?” Her shirt had gashes, and there was so much blood. “Are you hurt?” She checked around his arms.

Bread shook his head. He was just shocked.

“I-I’m so sorry,” the zookeeper walked over. She had tied the lion in place with chains. “This shouldn’t have happened—”

“Well, it did.” Val retorted. She carried Bread out.

“Could we do anything for you?” The zookeeper followed. “M-maybe give you a discount on—”

“You can stop following us. And you can refund the tickets.” Val tossed over three plastic entrance tickets.

“R-right.” The zookeeper picked them up from the ground. “No, we’ll do that right away.” Then she scurried along.

Val gently situated Bread on a nearby bench. “Okay.” She let out a sharp breath. “Wow… I’ll go get Coach.” She glimpsed at her injuries. “And some first aid stuff. Can you stay here for just a bit?”

Bread nodded.

“Shout if you’re in trouble. I’m sure the staff will respond.” She watched the zookeeper trying her best to reform the dispersing crowd. Then she looked back and smiled. She ruffled his hair.

He smiled back. He couldn’t help it.

She gave another quick wink before taking off. She blitzed through the amalgamation of bodies, dashing past a new group of onlookers that had formed just outside the petting zoo tent. She merged into the masses, and within seconds, she was gone and out of sight.

Bread looked at his injuries. His arms were clawed, but they were intact. He could still feel an ebbing pain where they were gashed. Wires were pulled out, and pieces of his synthetic skin hung on by threads of material. It was an odd feeling altogether.

And that electric shock…

A mysterious man suddenly appeared from behind the shadows. He had a mask on—the one that was sold at the entrance of the carnival. His hair was kempt, and he wore a long, black overcoat. He sat down without a word. A stick of cotton candy was held in one of his hands.

Bread had never seen this man before. He looked suspicious. Who was he and what did he want? Was he just looking for a place to sit?

As if noticing his cautionary glances, the man offered him the cotton candy in his hand.

Bread hesitated.

“It’s safe,” he spoke. His voice sounded abnormally distorted. “It’s just food.” He ripped off a piece and placed it underneath his mask. Then he slowly chewed and swallowed. “See? Safe.” He offered the cotton candy again.

Bread took it. He inspected it with intense scrutiny. Nothing looked out of the ordinary… But what’s considered normal? He stared at the bouncy, cotton candy puff as it jiggled in the faint breeze.

He bit into it.

A burst of flavors. It melted in his mouth, tasting like mangos described in his inner records. It was a delightful concoction of fruits and sugary sweets. A delicious, new experience!

“Is she your sister?” The man pointed in the direction Val had left.

“Val?” Was it common sense to refer to her as his sister? “I think so?”

“You think so?”

“Well, she feeds me.”

“Feeds you… Is that really all it takes?” He stared up into the night sky and chuckled. “You shouldn’t consider everyone who feeds you as your family.”

“Why?”

“They might have ulterior motives.”

“Like you?”

“Well, um, no. I don’t think…” He paused for an uncomfortable second. “Do you… like it here? Moon’s not too bright for you?”

The moon? He looked up. “No, I think it’s pretty.” He stared at it for longer. Was it too bright? It just looked like a moon.

The man interrupted his thoughts. “Does she treat you well?”

“Who?”

“Your sister.”

Bread nodded.

“You enjoy your time? With her?”

He nodded again. He could see new things, experience unfamiliar foods… It was fun. Even the lion. Out here, he had things he could do, choices he could make… It felt like he really did matter in the grand scheme of things. And everything felt real.

Even himself.

“Of course…” The man looked towards his arms. “That was dangerous what you did there. Why did you do that?”

“I think it was common sense.” There was no other explanation for it. He’d never told his body to move like that. He’d just blinked, and he was already pinned down by the lion. What else would it be if not common sense?

“Common sense… Perhaps.” The man turned his head towards him. Bread could see his dark eyes through the holes in the mask. “Do you have parents? Like… a dad?”

“Dad?”

“Yes.”

Dad… He nodded. He kind of missed him. Was it wrong to feel that way?

“Would you—” The man momentarily caught his breath. “Would you consider him your family?”

Bread nodded. A dad, according to his records, was family. That was kind of an obvious question.

“Then do you miss him?”

Miss him… He did, didn’t he? He missed him… But there was a worry that kept gnawing at his mind—

What if my thoughts are wrong?

He remembered a moment he had with Val at the beach. Where she had mentioned that he wasn’t supposed to be there, locked away in that room. That all of those happy memories he had before could’ve just been Stockholm syndrome. Fake feelings. Fake experiences. They were all fake…

Just like me.

But he was sure about one thing. He didn’t want to go back. Not to that room of his. Not anywhere near that place. He liked it out here. Seeing new things and moving around on his own. He liked Coach and Val. It was fun. It was better here. This place was definitely better.

No… But Dad had promised… He promised to cook with him…

He shook his head free. The loud thoughts were buzzing inside like flies. He didn’t know what to feel anymore. What was right? What was wrong? What was he supposed to do?

Common sense told him nothing.

“So it was that bad…” The man shook his head. He hunched down and stared at the ground.

Bad? What was?

“Are you happy at least?”

Happy?

“Satisfied?”

Bread didn’t understand. He started to have new thoughts—why was this mysterious man asking all these questions? And who was he?

“Well, are you having fun?”

Fun? He nodded. Everything was fun. He didn’t have to think twice about answering that one.

“Good… Good. Well, just remember to take care of yourself. Violence is never the answer, Bread.”

Bread? Did he ever tell him what his name was?

The man reached out to touch his wounds, but an electrical current snapped at his hand as if in retaliation.

Suddenly, there were flavors in his mouth. Something bitter. Like chewing on leaves. There were also smells of eggs, pancakes. Then he saw visions… Visions of himself back in the white room. Visions of clay, paintings. His broken necklace…

Why were these memories manifesting now?

But there was that voice again, yelling at him in the background. It sounded so familiar. Like he had heard it before… He could almost remember it from somewhere…

“Dad?”

The visions suddenly cleared, but nobody was there. He looked around. The man was gone. Was that all just a dream? No, the cotton candy was still there.

“Bread!” Another familiar voice. It was Val. And Coach was just behind her. “I came back as fast as possible.” She stared at the half-eaten cotton candy in his hand. “Where did you get that?”

“It was free,” he replied. And it kind of tasted bad.