The eyes never seen before (4)

Jonathan got back into the car, having finished his phone call.

They were all already inside, of course, waiting. Meanwhile they had been killing time chatting. And they were still at it. All of them, with not one missing.

Roxy.

Jamie.

Mary...

And his sister, Cecile, of course. Even though it was an image he saw every day, for some reason, looking at that scene brought tears to his eyes.

Maybe he was getting sentimental with age. Softer.

"Did you have fun without me?" Jonathan waved to them and got into the driver's seat. He did it hurriedly, so they wouldn't notice he was crying.

He didn't want them to worry if he could help it, let alone over a silly thing like this.

He himself didn't understand why he was crying. So what would be the point of telling them anything?

Discreetly, Jonathan wiped his tears with the back of one hand.

He took a deep breath.

Okay.

He took the key, put it in the ignition and rolled it over. Jonathan stepped on the gas, and the car sped down the road. They were always moving.

Back and forth.

That wouldn't change, because this was a day like any other.

In a life full of dangers, that wasn't necessarily a good thing, of course. But, for better or worse, it was their life. Everyone's life. He couldn't imagine any other kind of life.

Talking about strange things, the girls and his sister were still talking behind him, but he didn't quite understand their conversation.

Jonathan rubbed his eyes with one hand, leaving the other on the steering wheel, of course.

Maybe he was just tired. He was happy, no doubt about it, but he didn't usually sleep too well.

He had trouble falling asleep. Too many bad memories. Too much stress. In short, the life he was leading was taking its toll, one way or another. Still, he could consider himself privileged.

Not just because he had them. His family.

Not just because his older sister had grown up beautiful and confident as she had been from the beginning, instead of withering away in the prison that had been the place of her birth, to become less than a shadow of who she really was.

Not just because he loved what he did for a living, his blood burned.

He said it plain and simple because, well, he was a mercenary.

In a profession like that you tend to die young and gruesome deaths. And they were alive. And they'd keep going down the road, from nowhere to nowhere, working until they couldn't anymore.

Maybe it wasn't a perfect life, but it was their life.

Jonathan stepped on the pedal harder. In the mirror his smile was reflected. A smile of happiness, but one that no one would have called sweet.

This is my home, he thought.

■

Roxy kept walking down the road.

Relentlessly, as always, from nowhere to nowhere. As fed up as she was, she had tried to die and hadn't been able to. So what else could she do?

One foot in front of the other. Repeating the same thing over and over again.

Dragging her tired body through this desert wasteland, for the sole reason that she was alive. She hadn't asked to be born, yet she had to bear the consequences of other people's decisions.

It was absurd and unfair, like everything else in life.

The height of absurdity was that she had no answer to the next question: how much further would she have to walk, damn it?

Everything had an end.

Indeed, everything had an end.

Her legs could take no more and Roxy ended up falling head first to the ground.

Of course, even though her body couldn't take it anymore, her mind wasn't willing to let her rest, or maybe it would be better to say her heart, since it wasn't exactly an impulse that could be called rational.

The first thing she thought of was to get up again, in other words.

To keep trying, to get back in the race.

But try as she might, she couldn't remember why she should bother to do that. What was waiting for her down the road? Roxy already knew the answer. It was always more of the same.

Always.

Slowly, Roxy closed her eyes.

The Pistol hadn't worked.

It was broken, or empty, it didn't matter what the reason was, the point was that it had been useless. But if she stopped, she would die sooner or later, wouldn't she?

As she had thought before, it took so much care and effort to take care of something. To make it grow. But if you just set it aside for a while, it could wither before you even noticed.

That applied to everything. To buildings, to streets and roads, to objects, in general.

To human relationships.

And yes, to human lives, in that sense they were no different from plants.

Except that they could choose when to stop. And Roxy had found her limit. No more, she really couldn't anymore, not for a second.

■

Jamie finally managed to crawl to the door. It hadn't been more than about ten meters, but it had still been the longest trip of her life.

She thought she wouldn't make it. Even thought that the distance was getting bigger as she moved, instead of the other way around.

Of course that wasn't true, it couldn't be true. Just her mind playing tricks on her.

Proved because she was finally here.

But she couldn't open the door, being on the ground. Her legs were still shaking like jelly, but she would have to get up at least a little if she wanted to open it and get out of here. She had no choice.

Jamie's arms simply wouldn't reach. No matter how hard she tried, no matter how far she stretched, she wasn't going to be able to turn the doorknob. Not even get a good grip.

Okay, okay, okay. It's no big deal. It's just standing up.

Jamie tried with everything she had, leaning with both hands on the door. In her current condition she wouldn't be able to stand on her own, or for long even with help, but she didn't need much time. Just long enough to open the door.

When she got to the other side, she supposed she could continue crawling as she had been.

Jamie made it.

She could do anything, if she tried hard enough and long enough. Be whoever she wanted to be.

That was, to paraphrase, what Jonathan had told her all those years ago.

Those words had burned themselves into her heart. Although there was nothing special about it, she treated everything that came out of Jonathan's mouth with the same importance and reverence.

In any case, he had been right, as usual.

She could do this. She could. She would get out of here and get back to the people important to her.

She heard a loud noise, as her hand came to rest on the doorknob. Jamie turned her head more out of instinct than anything else.

If she had thought about it, she wouldn't have done it.

First, because she didn't care about the noise. Not yet. Second, because Jamie was afraid she might get dizzy. She didn't need to make sudden movements, or too many movements in general, in her current state.

But what she saw changed her mind.

About its importance, that is.

"Damn it," Jamie spat.

The impostor she thought she was done with was somehow still on the move. And the loud noise that had reached her ears was that of the thing falling out of bed and hitting the floor.

That was the only reason Jamie had been aware of its presence. A little mistake like that.

It was scary to think that she might have found out only when it was too late to do anything. But what was really scary was her appearance.

She'd smashed his head in with the axe.

He should be dead.

He shouldn't be able to move, let alone see her, but he was moving in her direction purposefully, as if he still had eyes to see her with.

Its shattered head was sparking continuously, the tangle of wires writhing like dying maggots.

It was also spilling a black fluid as if it were vomiting it up. He was leaving a trail of that black fluid with every step he took.

His steps weren't steady.

Clearly, he was struggling just as Jamie was. But just as clearly, she could see that the thing was doing better.

Sooner or later, it would come upon her and there would be nothing she could do about it.

Jamie still had a firm grip on the axe. She hadn't lost it along the way, it hadn't slipped through her fingers. But if smashing his skull with the axe hadn't worked, what could she do no matter how hard she wielded it?

Yes. It didn't matter at all that she was armed.

Her only chance was to escape.

Knowing that, Jamie turned her attention back to the door.

As she turned the knob with her weakened body, she heard him approach her from behind, crawling across the floor. She could see it in her mind's eye, moving like a deformed nightmarish giant spider, spitting sparks, spitting black blood, spitting hatred that was beyond the rational and human.

If he caught her, she was screwed. She would never see Mary and Roxy again.

She would never be with Jonathan again.

Nor would she ever see sunlight again. The door opened slightly. It wasn't locked. Fantastic.

But that didn't mean her work was done.

It was still only slightly open. She couldn't slip through even if she tried. So Jamie slipped her fingers into the gap between the door and the wall, to pull it, pull with all her soul.

She had to live!

Finally, the door opened.

Jamie didn't see freedom on the other side. He saw nothing, really. What happened was that she was blinded by a cascade of white light.

■

Roxy didn't know how much time had passed since she fell, since her body finally failed her, after a lifetime where she had done nothing but walk without a destination. Living day by day, without rest.... Not real rest.

Everything has a limit. She knew it very well. She had never expected it from her own body, deep down.

But, at this point, she was grateful for it.

The real end was taking a while to come though. How much longer would she have to wait, melting on top of the hard road that gave off heat and smoke, like a gateway to hell?

She didn't know. She had no way of knowing.

But make it soon, she begged inwardly. The sooner her suffering was over, the better.

Roxy thought he should have done this a long time ago. She thought she should never have let things get to this point.

"Wake up.

Roxy's eyes snapped open, shaken by that voice.

Not because it was the voice of a stranger, when she had been alone for a lifetime on this endless road. But precisely because of the opposite.

That voice... She recognized it.

■

Mary wandered into the shadowy village, looking for the way out.

Of course, it was easier said than done. For one thing, she was talking about the way out, but had no idea what it would look like. It's not like it would be a simple door or window, right?

She had a feeling that if it were that simple, she would have exited as soon as she opened the door to her house.

That said, she also had no idea what she was doing here.

Or what was here in the first place. What this was all about, because it couldn't be real. Her mother and little sister had died years ago. Many.

Of that at least she could be sure.

It was nothing much though. Everything else was like broken glass stuck deep in her skull, sinking deeper and deeper each time she tried to remember. Connect the pieces.

So the pain kept those memories just out of reach.

It was impossible to get anywhere when you were subjected to such inhuman pain. In fact, it was amazing that she could stand, that she had no difficulty moving at all, all things considered.

Where could the way out of this be, whatever it was?

With that thought in mind, Mary unconsciously began to follow the light of the street lamps. Since it was a moonless, starless night, the light from the street lamps attracted the eye more powerfully than on an ordinary night.

And perhaps she did so also because it could be interpreted as a pattern, and human beings were inclined by their very nature to look for patterns even where there was nothing but smoke and mirrors.

After a while following the streetlights, one of them, the one she was standing under, began to flicker.

As if the bulb was going to explode or go out.

It didn't, but...

For no reason, Mary turned around abruptly. Or at least not a reason she knew how to put into words. Because it turned out that her instinct had been right.

Under the streetlight at the other end of the street, there was a faceless person.

Faceless, but she recognized her instantly anyway. She couldn't tell how, but Mary didn't doubt it for a moment. She would say it was the logic of a dream. But she also didn't doubt that this experience was painfully real.

She swallowed hard. Suddenly, it was as if something was stuck in her throat.

"It wasn't my fault. I... I tried."

It was the truth, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing but the truth.

The faceless creature began to crawl toward her. Slowly, staggering, but inexorably. That withered body was driven solely by rage.

And thirst for revenge.

"I tried!"

Yes, she had tried. That couldn't be denied.

But trying wasn't enough. The sentiment wasn't enough. What mattered, at the end of the day, were the results. And the stark truth about the results was staring her in the face.

Mary didn't want to see it.

Who would want to see it?

Besides, it didn't matter that they were right, it didn't matter that she deserved it, maybe. Mary had a reason to get out of here. People to go back to.

Mary couldn't let the shadows of her past darken the future. Deprive her of happiness.

Mary turned, and broke into a run.

Running away from the faceless person, but not making herself hard to follow. For she continued to walk the path marked by the light of the street lamps.

A part of her knew, for some reason, that if she turned away from the light she would be lost.

She wasn't capable of leaving her pursuer behind. And they wouldn't give up, of course they wouldn't, ever.

The problem was that there were more and more faceless people chasing her.

More victims.

■

And that was never going to stop. It wasn't going to stop because that's what her life was all about, wasn't it? Getting away, taking instead of giving, while leaving mess after mess behind her.

You mess up everything you touch. She didn't hear that thought with her own inner voice.

She heard it in her mother's voice.

■

God was simply waiting.

As God, he was a being full of righteous anger, which would bring down upon anyone who dared to defy him. That was true.

But, at the same time, he could be patient. Forgiving, even.

Jonathan and his group were trapped by extensions of himself, dreaming of a better world. Sooner or later, they would be trapped forever, and he could make them his subjects.

He didn't care how the others turned out, but he hoped the fire in Jonathan's eyes wouldn't be lost in the transition to a better life.

That he would end up being as perfect a job as his sister.

A part of him, as ridiculous as it sounded, had begun to think that he needed that boy if he really wanted to change the world.

That person with his eyes.

But he was sure that even if he went all over the world, he wouldn't find anyone with those eyes.

He had never seen them before. Except when he looked in the mirror.

God... didn't like looking at himself in the mirror, though. That's why there wasn't a single mirror in the whole city. Which didn't mean there wasn't anything that could reflect his image, there were plenty, but not mirrors at least.

For a moment of weakness, of madness, he wondered if his flame hadn't gone out. If his eyes were no longer anything like that man's.

But it was only a moment.

He dismissed that idea as quickly as it had come into his head. Fortunately, fate brought him a perfect distraction.

His eyes detected many signals. At every moment he was connected to his subjects, just as they were connected to him. Of course, what kind of God would he be otherwise?

He could see through their eyes, hear through their ears.

Everything.

And what he perceived through his subjects scattered around the city, silent watchers, were government dogs that had come to bark at his gates.

It didn't take him long to understand why they had appeared, today of all days, when he had remained hidden, working in the shadows for years without a problem.

"I see, they've been followed. Looking for this.

He twirled in his huge hands the Pistol, which he had finally wrenched from Jonathan's hands.

Not him directly, but extensions of him, so it was the same thing.

The black tentacles that, reaching out, had come out of the walls to do his bidding. And what was his bidding? Surely that man had strange ideas about his intentions.

But in reality, God's true purpose was very simple.

Simple, and kind.

As God, above all that he was goodness, naturally.

"Let them come. "The appearance of the government war dogs didn't change anything at all. They were not even likely to delay his plans. "They will die like everyone else. It's time to stop hiding. With the power in my hands... the world will burn, and a better one will be born from the ashes! A more human one.

Yes, that was his true goal. Everything he had always wanted. A more humane world, kinder to all. And if the old world had to burn so that paradise on earth could be born, well....

Who would complain?

Everything had to be seen in perspective. It was a small sacrifice.

■

Jonathan had the feeling that he had been driving for a long time. Hours, days even. But, at the same time, he felt like no time at all had passed since he had put his foot on the pedal.

It was strange.

In any case, nothing had changed since then.

The road, with its ups and downs, continued to go on endlessly towards the horizon. The sun was burning brightly, and the air conditioning and the glass in between couldn't do much.

His older sister and her friends, that is, his entire family, were still talking as they had been since then.

Since even before he got into the vehicle to drive, to get them all going again. Yes. And just like then, he couldn't quite hear what they were talking about.

That was strange. Yeah. Very strange.

Jonathan wiped the sweat from his forehead with his forearm. He was in bad shape, he had to admit, but he would get better. As soon as they got to their destination and he could stop, get some rest, he would get better.

That was what he told himself. What made sense.

It's not like he had some serious problem, it's not like he was going to go into a nosedive, helpless.

It didn't help him that Jamie suddenly appeared off to the side, scaring him to death. Which could very well have been literal, because he almost lost control of the vehicle.

That could have ended either way.

But that scare was nothing in comparison as he looked back, heart in his throat, ready to complain about the scare she'd given him.

And then he saw what he saw, and all protests died in his throat.

Jamie was beside him, in short. It hadn't been a visual illusion when he'd been looking out of the corner of his eye. But as well as here she was over there.

Sitting in the back, still talking to the others.

Emphasis on still.

The same went for the others. It was as if only he had noticed the appearance of this second Jamie. Something as impossible as the existence of a second Jamie in the first place.

What the hell was happening to him?

"Am I dreaming?" Jonathan couldn't help but think about it. After all, it would explain everything.

He didn't feel like he was dreaming at all. And if he was, what, had he fallen asleep at the wheel? And the others hadn't told him anything, there hadn't been any accident either?

This...

The second Jamie, the imposter, stared powerfully at him. She couldn't seem to believe what she was seeing either.

But she paid no attention to her doppelganger. Jonathan couldn't help but notice that detail either.

"Are you... really Jonathan?"

She had had a similar reaction. Yes, as if he were the intruder, the one who had suddenly appeared. Why was he trying to analyze a figment of his imagination, or whatever it was?

"I could ask you the same question," Jonathan said. "Only, well. With your name."

"Yes. You are."

How come she was so sure all of a sudden? And why was he feeling a bit miffed when he'd come to the conclusion that she wasn't real, that this wasn't happening?

He pursed his lips.

"It wasn't a way out, but...." Jamie continued. "Not far off, though."

"Hey, what are you talking about?"

Jamie shook her head. He couldn't tell if it was in response or if she meant to continue. Okay, this is real, this is happening. But... what the hell is going on?

At least now he was at the starting line, so to speak. He hoped Jamie could clear things up for him.

But she wasn't very clear, unfortunately.

"This isn't real, but it's not just a dream either."

Jonathan had no idea how the two things could be true at the same time, but he nodded his head to indicate he was following her.

He kept one eye on the road, of course.

The last thing they needed right now was to crash.

"They... trapped us here. I'm not sure of the details yet, but we have to get out soon. Or we're lost. All of us."

All of us.

By that she had to mean the two of them, but also Roxy and Mary. Of course. But the ones that were there, in the back of the car?

They were still going about their business. Even this conversation hadn't made them react.

Because they can't, he thought. Because they don't exist.

Jonathan’s head ached. Fuck, how his head ached. It was all so strange. He wanted to believe in her, to believe that Jamie was Jamie, and through everything she would lead him down the right path. Or the wrong way, but with all the good intentions in the world, which was all he could ask of her.

Jonathan hoped he wouldn't regret his decision.

"Okay. How?

First things first. How, indeed. Jamie planted herself in the passenger seat.

He realized he no longer thought of her as an imposter or the second Jamie, at least.

"Looking for the exit, of course."

Ha. Of course.

How had that never occurred to him?

They continued onward. It really did seem like the road, and the wasteland surrounding it, was endless. If Jamie was right, he supposed it would be true.

There was no end to it, and they would never get anywhere.

Not if they couldn't find their way out.

As he drove, he kept his eyes wide open, searching. But he didn't even know what was going on. Or where they needed to get out of, for that matter.

So his efforts were fruitless.

Something caught Jamie's attention. He knew it before she opened her mouth, after seeing her expression in the rearview mirror.

"That ravine... Drive that way. Without stopping."

Okay. What?

"Are you crazy?"

"My exit was through the door of a room, only that... But that should be yours."

Sadly, it hadn't taken him long to start rethinking his decision. And hadn't Jamie said should, just should? That was an important detail. That wasn't convincing to him at the moment.

"Hey..."

"Don't you trust me?" Jamie asked.

Jonathan snorted. That wasn't the point.

"Of course I do. If you're the real thing, I do it with my life." As he trusted all of them. Jamie was no exception, of course, quite the opposite. Favoritism wasn't good, but she was the first of them he'd ever encountered. They'd been together for so long, and some of that time had been alone, so.... Well. Yes, there was a little favoritism. "But how sure are you?"

"Sure we're not going to kill each other? Yeah."

Wow, that was nice to hear. If only he could be sure, too. But her words were worth a lot.

If it was her. And he believed it, even though he had no particular reason to believe she was more real than the Jamie sitting in the back, even if she could communicate with him.

He believed it anyway.

"Sure that's the way out? Well, no. Not really."

Oh, that's great.

"Fucking hell. All right."

Jonathan changed the direction of the car and stepped on the accelerator. Of course, by that he meant he steered it into the ravine. In the air after he fell, with the wind whistling in his ears, he could only think: How did I let myself get talked into it? The bottom seemed far away, but they would be there in a few seconds. If Jamie was wrong, then they would all be there for the rest of eternity.

That deep, dark hole would become their final resting place.

He figured it wouldn't be so bad, since one way or another they would be together.

■

What they found at the bottom of the abyss was not death, but a blinding cascade of white light. We'll go on a journey after all, Jonathan thought. What might be on the other side?

The cascade of light engulfed them, blinded them completely. It shone so brightly it burned the eye.

It felt almost as if his eyes were melting.

But he knew, just as he knew he could trust 'that' Jamie, that it wasn't a bad thing. That they hadn't made a mistake.

Here we go.

■

On the other side of the light, Jonathan found himself clutched by arms and legs and suspended several meters above the ground by thick black cables. And he wasn't the only one. No, they were all in the same state as he was.

Except for his sister, Cecile. She was at the feet of an inhuman creature, sitting on the throne in the center of the room.

Memories assaulted him.

They didn't come gradually, in a digestible way, but rather it was like the wall of a great fortress collapsing in on him.

He had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming, even.

But it was for the best.

So all the pieces ended up in place quickly. Every second counted in a situation like this. Right now, the grip on the wires wasn't as strong as before, since he wasn't actively struggling against them.

If he struggled, it would get stronger again.

Or if that thing noticed that he was awake. In other words, he had to act in that period of time. Get the hell out of here. Otherwise they were all lost.

The responsibility fell on their shoulders.

Mary and Roxy were still asleep, in the embrace of those electronic tentacles.

Jamie was awake, as was he. They had fallen at the same time, awakened at the same time. But there was nothing she could do. He wasn't disparaging her, evidently.

It was just a fact.

Her staff had been snatched from her, so there was no way for her to break free.

He'd had the Pistol snatched from him, but the sword was still in his hand. Jonathan supposed that because the creature hadn't seen it as a threat, it hadn't given it any importance at all. Or maybe the thing had simply forgotten about everything else once it had the weapon it sought in its hands.

In any case, thanks to that he had a chance.

A good chance.

Even if he had lost the sword, there were other things he could have tried. But no option was as good.

Jonathan took a deep breath. Gathering strength throughout his body, preparing for the fight.

He said preparing, but it really shouldn't be that hard with the wires being loose. Besides, he had time.

He swung the sword, cutting through the tangle of wires that rendered his left arm useless.

It was a bit noisier than he would have wished. Quickly, he shifted the sword to the other hand and attacked in the opposite direction. It took only one strike to free each arm.

He stifled a sound of surprise.

Perhaps he should have taken care of the legs first, for thus he was left hanging upside down, swinging in the air.

"Are you awake? Unbelievable," the abomination said.

Immediately, the remaining wires tightened their grip on his legs. As if they wanted to tear them off, or at least twist them until they were unusable.

Additionally, more wires came out of the walls, coming to recapture him.

It didn't matter.

He already had his arms free. It was easy and quick. He cut the bindings on his legs as well, and fell to the floor. Abruptly, on his side. He gritted his teeth, enduring the pain that shot through his whole body.

Jonathan stood up.

"It's incredible, but nothing easy is worth it," the abomination continued. "Show me what you're capable of. Show me how much you will burn."

The wires that had gone out for him went back inside the walls. The ones he had cut remained where they were, of course, hanging limp and spitting electric sparks.

Why, because nothing easy is worth it?

One way or another, the abomination had no intention of making things too easy for him. Her teammates were still trapped by their own tangles of wire. He could free one quickly, but a second could make the difference between life and death in a battle.

And while he freed one, the others would be easy, stationary targets.

Jonathan gritted his teeth even harder.

They would manage. They had to manage. One way or another, they would get out of this.

■

Contrary to his worries, that abomination let him free his teammates. Jonathan went for Jamie first, since she was awake as he was, not for any other reason.

And at first, he thought that creature was paralyzed by not fear, but indecision.

That perhaps it might be wondering what more surprises they would have hidden up their sleeves. But when he went to free Mary, it didn't put up any resistance either. The abomination simply looked at them as if it didn't care what was going on.

Letting him gather his forces, his team.

Before crushing them all like insects. Or at least that's how the abomination thought this was going to end.

They did have to retrieve Jamie's staff by force.

That it wasn't willing to just give away, but they got it anyway. Some would say only because the self-proclaimed God had given them the opportunity in the first place. Jonathan didn't see it that way.

He had faith that they would have made it anyway, it just would have been harder.

Just they might have lost someone along the way.

He tried not to think about it, what it would have been like. He tried not to think about the decisive moment, sword in hand, at the ready, where he would have essentially had to decide between saving Mary's life or Roxy's life.

Because he possibly wouldn't have had time to save both of them, before the tentacles snapped their necks.

Yes, it would have been harder with that thing actively resisting, of course.

But they would have made it. He had faith.

Just as he had faith that they would defeat that abomination in the end, putting an end to its dark ambitions.

And then they would return home. All of them together.

Cecile included, of course.

■

Yes, that was how they had gotten here. That was how the desperate battle had begun. But alas, how would it end?

How would it end?