Epilogue: Yūgen

Waking up is a scary thing.

I dunno what it is, but for a little bit, whenever I’m still just trying to get my head on straight- I kinda forget what’s going on as I shift from one world to another.

The August sun lets itself in through my window, illuminating my room as I squint my eyes. Once my vision starts to form, I try remembering who I am… I’m surrounded by colors. Pictures. Just a bunch of stuff scattered about, I don’t make anything out at first. Then it starts to make sense. This setting, while still fresh, has quickly become familiar to me. Girls. Flat, painted against the wall. No, posters. Yes. Posters of girls. I am a girl. But these are other girls. Just random characters I like from cartoons all over the place. How immature. I sure am pathetic. Do I even have a job? I have a house, so surely I must… I turn to my computer. I left it on last night. I see a girl on it too. A WebTube channel. Is that mine? The girl isn’t me, so how could it be?

Oh yeah, that’s right. I’m Sumire Anata.

I flop back onto my pillow, my identity back intact and my dreamy head satisfied. But just as I’m about to head back to sleep, I get a notification on my phone. Looks like I woke up just on time. There’s no way I’m missing this.

At last, my eyes spread open the rest of the way, if only to perform an expression of excitement no one will see. Ready to check out how it goes, I spring out of my bed in order to reach my comfy PC chair at the other side of the room. As I crash into it at top speed, it almost falls over, but stabilizes by the time I click to exit my channel and check the feed.

Sure enough, he’s live.

As I click the simply edited stream thumbnail, I’m allowed to peek into his life again for a bit. A life covered up by a cute virtual model and layers of anonymity, but a life nonetheless. A life I’ve found myself quite intertwined in.

“Um… hello everybody! Are we feelin’ alright today? I hope so. And… if not, well, I’m here to help.” The animated bear on screen speaks softly in conjunction with the movements of a real boy somewhere. His accent is eggageraged a bit, and he’d be a little too embarrassed to act this sweet in real life, but that’s him, alright. That’s my boy.

“My name is Oakley Yugen. From here on out, I’m your virtual familiar. I hope you like the form I’ve taken… it took quite a while to get rigged- I mean, possessed!”

Oakley Yugen. Independent virtual liver talent. I know how needless it is to say this, but I love him. Kid’s a natural. Ever since I started laying my knowledge on him, the guy’s done nothing but strive to be the best he can be for this day… his big day. His debut.

“Yeah, you can pet me. Fine by me. Just watch the… uh, fur. The patches are delicate.”

His personality has translated surprisingly well to an entertainer. I feel like… in the age of TV, or even earlier internet, you were expected to have the most energy, to be the loudest in the room to succeed… but now that the market’s expanded in terms of alternative audiences, a lot of people are looking for the types that can calm them down- someone to soothe them. Roscoe seems to have taken that approach. I admit, it’s not the advice I gave him… but it seems to be working.

“What’ll I be doing? Everything. I build a lot on CosineRaft, and games in general are my strong suit. I also plan on watchalongs and maybe some karaoke down the line… though, I'm still learning to sing. I won’t do ASMR though. I mean… unless you ask. Nicely.”

He’s got just the right balance of contained confidence and total awkwardness… the levels of moe, gap or otherwise, are off the charts. You don't typically see male characters performing in this field so easily. If he can carve out a market here…

“I stream because it’s my way of giving back. This hasn’t been my dream for long, but the people who made me realize it have inspired me to do the same for others. I want… my streams to be like bubbles or peace for anyone listening in. These will be places where we can talk and encourage each other. That’s my ultimate goal.”

The funny green teddy on screen is even making a good first impression on me, and I already know him. I dunno where my remaining worries were coming from… the kid took a gamble, but it’s gonna pay off. As I watch the views slowly start to tick up, I smile. When I took this job myself, I didn’t expect it to help people like Roscoe is trying to do. I don’t think of it as necessarily selfish, but I was doing it for me. This guy… say what you will about him, but he’s doing it for his family- and not just that, but for everyone watching. And that’s the single thing that separates talents who fail from those who succeed. At the end of the day, Vtubing is just a complex service job. You make people happy, and they pay you in views and donations. In a way, it is the human experience simplified down to a single interaction through a computer screen.

When the stream is over, I immediately head to his door. His dad rushes to open it as soon as I ring the bell.

“Hey! Nice to see ya! Did you see him? Did you see my son?”

“I-I did.” I laugh. “Can I go check on him?”

“Sure thing! He just got done… oh! Should I go warn him you’re coming up?”

“It’s fine. I don’t think he’ll mind.”

Up the stairs and down the short hallway, I find his door. I open it slowly, revealing the same boy I've known all summer sitting in his chair… relaxed, exhausted, and euphoric all at once as the feeling of a successful debut washes over him.

“How’d it go… “Oakley?” Roscoe?”

He stares straight ahead. As I thought, not a bit surprised to see me here so soon.

“It ain’t like… fixing clocks… this… I could do… for the rest of my life.”

“That makes two of us.” I smile.