E: She Who Fights Monsters

I was scared.

When I saw Rin’s backpack and glasses scattered on the ground.

I was truly, genuinely, scared.

Scared like I hadn’t been in over a year.

Scared that the person I cared about was gone.

I’d finally made new friends who liked me for me.

Finally had a new start.

Met people who accepted me.

People who were different, like I was…

And kind, in a way I never could be.

I was afraid that I’d lost them all in one night.

I was scared I had killed them.

The monster I was fighting. With its red, bulging eyes and fake, hideous smile. The shape that it took to mock being human. It’s horrible, echoing laughter.

The one that crashed into the train.

It had to be here for me.

What other reason was there?

I had hoped that my friends would be okay. But when I saw those broken glasses, cast aside. When I heard this monster’s laughter. I knew.

They died because they dared to be near me.

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Everyone used to think I was a monster.

A devil. A creep. A freak.

A beast.

And then one day I proved them right.

I scared them all away.

But because of that, I knew I was strong.

Much stronger than most.

I had survived the crash only because I was a monster. Like the bobble-eyed freak laughing below me while my foot plunged through its stomach.

My friends.

They were human. Good humans. Kind humans.

Weak humans.

There was no hope.

All my friends were dead.

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I lost control.

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I was a monster.

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Nothing else.

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“Evi, you’re our friend!”