Chapter 11:
The Wingman Squad: Why Be Single When You Can Mingle?
The lush moonlit night, alongside the omnipresent constellations, imparted a soft glow to air. Sober Uyeno would have loved this view.
Hol’ up.
There was someone else there, gazing at the night sky, his back turned to them. As he became aware of their presence, an old man slowly turned to face them, grinning as his teeth shone brilliantly like the moon.
Hyōdō Tonegawa?!
“Ah, I’ve been expecting you, Makoto.”
Makoto stood there jawless for it had fallen to the ground. He wondered whether the lemonade mocktail near the entrance was spiked after all, because there was no other explanation; he had to be hallucinating. Why was the billionaire tycoon on the rooftop of some random bar in Tokyo? Did he really have so much free time to be following around Makoto and gang on their quests for love, or was this another one of life’s great and mysterious coincidences?
“This is no great and mysterious coincidence, my boy,” proclaimed Hyōdō. He turned back to the stars. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.”
Huh. Hyōdō was more of a health nut than he would’ve imagined. But what did he mean he had been expecting him?
Ronc. Shshshshsh.
He turned to Uyeno, who had seemingly finished expending her energies and needed to recuperate. “Uyeno! Wake up!”
“My dear Makoto,” said the old man, shaking his head mournfully. “You are too late. A rolling stone gathers no moss.”
Makoto turned back to the old man, who leaned pensively against the rail. “Why are you here?” he asked. “This is Wingman Squad related, isn’t it?”
“Why am I here? That’s a good question, Makoto. I wonder that myself from time to time. Why are any of us here?”
There was a moment of silence as Makoto contemplated just leaving and going home.
“Take a moment and look at the sky, Makoto. Look at the twinkling stars, shining as hard as they can in the cosmos. They are not much different from people on this earth. Our fate follows that of those stars – we are all but a pop in and pop off. Yesterday is a mystery, tomorrow is a gift, and so today is history.”
Seems the old man was on some substances of his own.
“Great to see you Mr. Tonegawa, sir, but I’m afraid I’ve interrupted your stargazing time. If you don’t mind, I’ll be on my merry way, goodnight! Come on Uyeno, let’s go back dow–”
“Say,” interrupted Hyōdō, suddenly turning back to face him. “Would you like to come work for me?”
Huh? Did he hear that right? Did Hyōdō just ask him if he wanted to work at Tonegawa Enterprises? A life of wealth and prestige in the finest condos of downtown Tokyo? That would be beyond his wildest wet dreams.
“W-What do you mean?” Makoto stuttered, still imagining the luxurious possibilities.
“I mean exactly what I meant, Wingman disciple,” he said, “but that doesn’t mean I am going to extend you an offer.”
“Ah right,” said Makoto, coming back to his senses. No way Hyōdō would just give out a job like that. “To answer your question, yes, I would obviously love to come work under you.”
Hyōdō took a good look at Makoto before speaking. “Consider yourself lucky, for I am feeling rather generous today. I will ask of you some riddles. Answer them to the best of your ability, and if I am satisfied, I will extend you an offer.”
Makoto had waited for this day for his entire life. Well, not talking to a possibly high multibillionaire CEO on a Friday night at a bar with his childhood friend turned enemy turned drunk by his side… but he had waited for the opportunity to interview and impress companies his whole life. Even as a first year, he had already begun studying ahead of curriculum and even prepared for job interviews. Makoto recollected all his years of knowledge on finance, the banking industry, and economic theory. He was ready for whatever question Hyōdō would throw his way.
“First question. Am I truly a good person, like the media portrays me to be?”
I-Impossible?! This was not on his 100 most common interview question cheatsheet. Perhaps the archives were incomplete? No, no, calm down Makoto. Think! All he had to do was give an honest answer that showed some level of unbiased reasoning.
Hyōdō Tonegawa was a multi billionaire business magnate. He was responsible for the employment of hundreds of thousands of people, and was directly responsible for supercharging the growth of the Japanese economy.
“Even if you have had to engage in suspicious practices or trample over competitors to bring your enterprises to the market, at the end of the day, the good you have achieved for Japanese society outweighs the bad. Thus you are a good man. That’s all that matters in the end.” said Makoto authoritatively.
Hyōdō took a good look at Makoto before speaking. “I appreciate your sentiment, Makoto. As long as you are aware that I may not have had a perfect past, that is all I was looking for. A tree that grows to heaven must send its roots to hell, after all.”
He cleared his throat. “Second question. What can you put in a bucket to make it lighter?”
“A hole,” said Makoto.
“What about antimatter?”
“No, that is a commonly purported myth but is no more than an urban legend.”
“Correct. You would be surprised how many fail that question in an interview. No ability to think outside of the box. Anyway… Third question. Is life just endless suffering?”
Bruh, what was with these questions? Had Makoto taken the wrong major? Should he have taken Philosophy over Economics?
But it doesn't matter. He would answer in stride. “Life is what you make of it,” Makoto replied promptly.
“Then wouldn’t living just be making something out of the suffering?”
“But I’m not suffering right now,” countered Makoto, “so a generic statement about suffering in life is not correct.”
“Fine. You’ve shown me you can hold your own beliefs, and that you do not back down from a fight. Excellent. Fifth question, what do you want to do in life?”
“Be rich,” replied Makoto, without missing a beat “And help others once I’m there. Lead the nation to new highs. Oh, and share my life with a loved one of course.” He couldn’t forget about the preachings of the Wingman Squad, of course.
“Very well, Makoto. I like your responses. I think you’re a smart, honest and enterprising man, and I would like to extend an offer to you at my company.”
NANI?! He had had to work harder to get a part time job at Burger Kink as a high schooler! Was this happening for real right now? Makoto pinched his buttcheek.
Hyōdō handed him a sheet of paper. It consisted of an offer letter jumbled together in legal jargon. He took a look at where the numbers were… a 500 yen base salary?! What kind of peanuts was this?
“Look beneath the base,” coughed Hyōdō.
200 million yen in restricted stock units?! Makoto’s soul left his body.
His caboose felt loose and his hands shook but the offer letter remained unchanged in his hand.
“S-so h-h-how do I s-sign-”
“Sure, I have a pen right here. But one last thing…”
Makoto gulped. Was the whole thing some kind of practical joke?
“It seems like your friend is drunk, which is against both Takaoka University and government policy for minors to be under the influence. I expect all employees of mine to be honest and adherent to the system. If you report her misbehavior to the dean, I shall grant you a position at my company. How does that sound?”
“But she would almost certainly be expelled for that at the very minimum! You know how strict Takaoka Uni is about this kind of thing!”
“So? She broke the law and therefore, must be prepared for the consequences. In life and in business, Makoto, one must be ruthless. That is the final quality I look for in my future hires. Sign the contract, Makoto, report her to the college dean, and you are set for life. Imagine all the good you can do for society. All the people you can help, who are suffering in life. You can lead the next financial wave, lead the country to new economic heights it has never seen before!”
“And never forget,” said Hyōdō, placing a hand on Makoto’s shoulder. “The pen is mightier than the sword.”
Makoto looked at Uyeno right there, who was sleeping without a care in the world, still snoring gently. All he had to do was turn her in, and his life ambitions would be at his fingertips.
He took the pen in one hand, the offer letter in the other, and pressed the tip of the pen on the sheet of paper to begin the process of scrawling his signature.
“Makoto… don’t steal… my red bean cake…”
Makoto looked back to see Uyeno mumbling in her sleep.
He turned back to the offer letter.
“I wished for us to stay together, forever!”
The simple line from years ago popped into Makoto’s head suddenly. Why now?!
“These twelve years we’ve been together... Do they mean anything to you?”
“...but that night, when we gazed at the endless skies, you showed me my first constellation.”
A surge of frustration overwhelmed Makoto. Why couldn’t he will himself to sign the damn parchment!
“You too, can become a billionaire,” said Hyōdō, his hand outreached, ready to accept Makoto as one of his own.
Ikeeeeeeee Makoto! Sign the paper, and the world is your oyster!
“Pinky promise, that we’ll always have each other’s back.”
“Pinky promise.”
He looked up to the night sky. Hyodo was right. Life was but a pop in and pop off. Whatever resulted here would have no meaning in the grand scheme of things.
You’ve dreamed of this for years. You will probably never get a chance like this again. Your life will take a whole new trajectory into the beyond and all you need to do is say yes.
“I-I would love to join,” said Makoto as he ripped the paper apart.
“...”
“Huh?”
Wait what?! What had he just done?!
“I-I was going to sign, but I don’t even know why I just did that. It’s like my body moved on its own accord.”
“Huh... so I guess you can’t join.”
“Huh… I guess so.”
A moment of silence ensued as Makoto tried to process what had just transpired.
“Come to my office in three years, Makoto,” said Hyōdō, with a twinkle in his eye. “Until then, hold onto this for me and enjoy your youth,” he said as he handed Makoto something shiny.
Makoto took a closer look at it. It was a gold plated card with his name on it. The same kind of card that Ebi had earlier.
“M-Makotooo? Where are we?” mumbled a voice. Seemed like Uyeno was sobering up from the effects of the liquor.
“Aaaand… looks like your missus is awake,” said Hyōdō, beaming. “I will be taking my leave now. But just remember this – many men make the mistake of pursuing things that they think will make them happy, to the extent that they ignore the things that actually give them love and happiness. And only when it's too late will they realize that they had lost the moon while counting the stars. So, ciao,” he said as he jumped off the roof yelling Geronimo.
Makoto rushed to the edge to see Hyōdō floating away on a parachute and then promptly crashing into a neighboring building. Makoto felt like he was in a fever dream.
“Hey M-A-K-O-T-O. What’s going on?” Uyeno asked, rubbing her eyes open. “Why are we on the roof alone? W-Wait, what are you doing at this bar?!” She turned a little red.
“Uh nothing,” replied Makoto, thinking he’d rather explain to Uyeno they’d been abducted by aliens than what he’d just witnessed. “You were, uh, creating quite the scene back there.”
“Back where?!”
"You know, on the dance floor."
"Wait what?"
"I know, right? Even I couldn't believe the moves you were throwing out there. The two step, booty-pop, and even some twerking! Who knows what more you would've shown the crowd if it wasn't for me taking you out."
"Y-You're lying!"
"Ask your roommate. You know me, I speak nothing but the truth."
"Mhmm. Also, is it me or was there another person with you just now?"
"It must be your imagination," replied Makoto. But unbeknownst to him, Uyeno had picked up on his nose twitch.
“UYENO, THERE YOU ARE,” came a cry from the elevator. Makoto turned to see Himari running over. “The archery club is leaving. Come,” she said, helping her up. Only then did she notice Makoto’s presence and let out a knowing smirk. “Oh, am I interrupting something? Should I leave you two be?”
“T-T-That will not be necessary,” said Uyeno, with a tomato red face. “Let’s go, Himari.”
“Alrighty then, girl. Say, why were you acting all drunk earlier? That lemonade mocktail didn’t even have any alcohol in it.”
“Wait what?”
***
“See you Himari, Uyeno,” said Makoto. “Have a safe night.”
“Bye,” said Uyeno hurriedly as they scuttled away.
Makoto took one last look at the night sky. Finally, after all that commotion, he was alon–
“Makoto, there you are!”
Makoto turned around to find the whole Wingman Squad group behind him. Looks like there would be no breaks tonight.
“The club is shutting down. What were you doing up here?” asked Ebi.
“Oh, uh, just thinking about life and stuff,” replied Makoto.
“Well, thinking ain’t gonna get you a girlfriend buddy. Anyway, gather round disciples. I need to dish out tonight's report.”
Akashi, Nishinoya, Orochi, and Makoto all came together in front of Ebi.
“Of course, there is not much to glamor about. Orochi, dejection followed your rejection. Akashi, you were talking with girls but you need to graduate from asking the basic boring questions. Nishinoya, lots of girls came up to you owing to your height and looks, but you have much to learn in holding that attraction down for longer.
“And Makoto,” continued Ebi, “you were mainly dealing with Uyeno, so it’s whatever. Anyway, things are just getting started for you guys. With our dedicated tutelage, you will be where you want in life in no time.”
An ambulance siren started wailing.
“Wonder what’s going on,” said Ebi.
“Yeah, I wonder…” replied Makoto, praying for the old man.
The start of college had certainly been a tumultuous one. It had been a messy pot-pourri of eccentric business magnates, rocky childhood friendships, bizarre romance clubs, violent cafe brawls, unexplainable crashed landings and explainable broken elevators, in no particular order. He had even given up and possibly regained his dream job. Who knew what the future held with his career, college life, and Uyeno? All Makoto wanted to do right now was go back home and snuggle under his bed.
It seemed his journey with the Wingman Squad was only just getting started.
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