Chapter 4

I woke up to bright sunlight streaming through the window. For a split second, I panicked, thinking I had overslept. But then I remembered I had fallen asleep last night. How long ago was that? I couldn't remember, but judging by the sun's position, I guessed it was early morning.

Groaning, I sat up in bed and stretched. My head ached, and I realized I hadn't slept properly. I yawned stretching my arms above my head. When I lowered them, I spotted my clothes neatly folded at the foot of my bed.

Huh? Did I sleep naked?!

I grabbed a towel, covered myself, and then opened the curtains to look outside. Sure enough, there was a large crowd gathered near the gate. Most of them wore robes, but there were some guards standing guard as well.

"Wh-what's happening?" I stammered.

I was feeling nauseous and was pretty sure I was hung over.

"Well," Lori tapped her chin with her fingers while looking at me curiously before pointing outside. "We did get attacked during the night."

"Attacked?"

"They broke into the inn and a bunch of other buildings, and stole a few things."

I frowned. "So...they got away with it?"

"In....a manner of speaking. Yes."

I groaned, feeling a dizzy spell overtake me. "That isn't good."

"Indeed." Lori nodded grimly. "But fortunately, they left behind their tracks! Which means we should be able to track them down soon."

"Wait, track them down? Why do we care?"

"Welllllll...sheesh. How drunk WERE you last night?"

"What!?"

"Ahaha. HAHHAAHA! Just kidding."

I stared bat her for a minute, then she burst out laughing again. "Oh man, you're hilarious."

"Sorry." I shrugged awkwardly. "Was that supposed to be funny?"

"Ha ha! Noooo, silly! I'm just messing with you! You need to learn to loosen up when you aren't drunk sometimes, you know?"

"Umm..."

"Now come on, we've gotta go get our magic jewel thingie back."

Wait. Wait a second. Magic Jewel?

"They....took the jewel?" I repeated.

"Yep," Lori replied serenely. "It's quite valuable, so it'll fetch a high price in the black market. And since they're thieves, I imagine they won't give it back without getting paid."

"Right," I muttered numbly. "So, um, what now?"

"We follow them." Lori pointed towards the door. "Come on, let's leave."

I stood up slowly. My legs were sore from sleeping in the same position for so long. And I was way too young to have the hangover I did. That was maybe two 'drinks' tops, but Alice was a goddamned lightweight.

As I hobbled to the door, I caught sight of the maid who had brought me my ale earlier. She was staring at me with wide eyes.

"...Uh, hello," I greeted her with great hesitance and trepidation.

She snapped her mouth shut immediately and turned away in fear.

What was that about?

Once we exited the building and headed toward the town center, I noticed something strange. There were fewer people walking around than usual. Some of those we passed glared angrily at us. They must have recognized Lori from yesterday.

"Is everyone angry at us?" I whispered to her.

Lori shook her head. "Welll....you drove off the bandits last night, but you set quite a few buildings on fire."

Wait, me? I set some buildings on fire?

"Wait seriously? H-how many?" I asked dubiously.

"Seven," she confirmed. "Thankfully none of them burned down to the ground."

I winced. Not great.

"Still, it's not like anyone died," Lori continued optimistically. "Those four bandits you flew into the air and went all nyoom nyoom WIND BLADES on will probably miss their limbs, though."

Wait, I did it? I dismembered four people? In one night?

"If nothing else," she concluded, "at least we got rid of those damn thieves. We can rest easy knowing they probably won't bother this town anymore."

I stared at her, speechless.

Lori laughed. "See? Nothing to worry about!"

I blinked in confusion.

When we reached the town center, a small army was already waiting for us.

The soldiers wore heavy armor and carried spears and shields. Their leader approached us cautiously. He was a dwarven man with a round face, and his hair was cropped close to the scalp. His expression looked severe and stern, and his beard traveled down below his chest. If I had to guess, he was about five feet tall, which seemed tall for a dwarf based on what I saw around town.

"Lady Lorina Liddell," he addressed her in a formal and respectful manner.

Lori smirked. "Hello, Captain."

He sighed heavily before turning to address the crowd. "...Very well. Please excuse my rudeness. I am Captain Olimar of the Royal Guard. I apologize for interrupting your day once again, Lori. You were a magnificent help last night."

Lori waved him away dismissively. "No problem at all, sir!"

Olimar cleared his throat. "Please allow me to introduce my men to your dear sister. This is Staff Sergeant Milla."

Mila bowed politely. She was a brown-haired elf, and her uniform appeared identical to the other Royal Guards.

Next came Lieutenant Hildebrand. She was a human with a similar uniform to the others, although hers was decorated with medals.

And finally, there was Lieutenant Domingo. He was dressed in a robe, which made me think he wasn't part of the military. My instincts told me he was a magic user.

Captain Olimar continued. "These are my best men. Our job is to protect and serve the citizens, ladies, and gentlemen of the Kingdom."

I glanced at Lori and saw she was wearing a smug smile.

"Of course, if you don't mind, I would appreciate it f you could tell us where the item they pilfered was last located."

"Why do you want to know?" Lori asked casually.

"Because, it belongs to the royal treasury, and I'd like to return it as quickly as possible."

"So," I remarked dryly, "If this thing was important enough to have some elite, royal guards all over this here...why exactly was this assigned to a Rank B and fledgling adventurer again?"

Lori flashed a sweet and excited smile. "Because, my dear, that's how we roll here in the Kingdom! We value efficiency over everything else, so people delegate tasks to adventurers wherever possible."

"Ergh," I grunted. "That makes absolutely no sense!"

"Hmmph." Lori rolled her eyes. "Anyway, I'm glad you decided to help us out, Captain."

"Thank you, Lady Lorina."

"Don't mention it," she replied breezily, batting her eyelashes. "Let's go see what kind of trouble we can stir up today, Marcus!"

"Just like old times, eh Lori? I mean. Lady Liddell..." Captain Olimar turned to judge me with an appraising eye, "Anyway, the townsfolk told me your sister was quite the hellion herself last night. Nasty stuff indeed. Are you sure she's fit to be out and about yet?"

I froze. What the hell? Was he talking about me? I blushed in embarrassment.

"Um, yes sir. I believe so." Lori said while letting out an obnoxious and mischievous giggle. "Her stomach has calmed down now, and she seems to have fully recovered from the effects of alcohol poisoning and her mana expenditure. Shall we begin tracking these thieves right away?"

"Yes, please." Olimar nodded enthusiastically. "Follow me, then. Let's catch them before they cause any further problems."

I groaned inwardly. What was I even doing here? Wasn't there anything better for me to be involved in? Like helping a little old lady cross the street? Or maybe cleaning up trash on the side of the road?

Lori turned to Captain Olimar with a serious expression, "We'll go on ahead, Marcus."

"Wait, do I really need to be involved in this?" I asked as Lori dragged me off with one hand.

After leaving the town center, we found a trail of footprints heading northward. It led straight through the forest, so I assumed whoever took it had been traveling along a main path.

"Wait, Lori, what are y- AAAHHHH!"

I jerked in surprise as suddenly, Lori slung me over her shoulder and carried me in pursuit of the thieves, jumping in massive bounds. She jumped from tree branch to tree branch, and I felt the wind whip past me as she moved with unbelievable speed and grace. I stared in amazement at the girl who carried me, who seemed like a warrior from an actual high fantasy anime.

Eventually, the visible tracks faded from the ground, and we came out to a clearing with a marked path that split into two forks. We stood still for several seconds, and I began to second-guess myself again as Lori caught her breath. Then, she spoke up.

"Okay, let's split up and search the area. Remember, stay quiet, and keep your voices low. We don't want to alert our targets to our presence."

"Wait," I panicked, "That doesn't sound like a good idea..."

"You'll be fine! Just fire off a flare spell if you see something," She winked playfully.

"But...what if we're spotted?" I questioned with a bite of my lip. "They might attack us Especially if erm, if I'm alone."

Lori shrugged. "Then you fight back, okay?"

"I don't really think I want to do this, though," I said uneasily.

She scoffed. "Well, it sure didn't look like that last night! Those guys should've known better than to mess with someone like you."

"But still, I don't feel comfortable going after them alone."

She sighed impatiently. "Look, I know you're worried, but just trust me. These assholes are gonna regret messing with you. Look, I'll be able to find you easily. Just yell!"

I swallowed hard. That sounded pretty ominous, coming from her mouth.

Before I could respond again, Lori jumped off in one direction and left me to my lonesome.

I stared at the other fork in the road and sighed. I began to wander into the woods, following the trail. I looked around, taking in the scenery. The sound of birds and insects chirping just sounded creepy to me now that I was alone.

I continued walking down the trail and eventually came to a campsite. I had gone camping before, but never in this nerve-wracking context.

At first glance, it seemed like the site was being used regularly; empty bowls were scattered about, discarded food wrappers littered the ground, and a fire was still smoldering.

I saw more footprints on the ground and began to follow them. They looked fresh. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out Alice's wand. I had no idea how this worked, but I could use it to bluff in a worst-case scenario.

I heard voices in the distance, and a group of trees blocked my view, but I could still hear voices from somewhere inside the wooded area. From the sound of it, they were arguing. The foliage was thick, but I could slip through the trees with my unarmored, petite body.

"Hey, hey, calm down!" a man shouted.

A woman responded frantically. "No, listen! I didn't steal it! I swear!"

There was a brief pause, then another voice spoke up. "Then who did?"

"I don't know! Someone must have stolen it after I handed it over!"

"You're lying! Everyone knows you stole it yourself. The masked man was going to pay handsomely for it."

"Stop it, you idiots!!"

"Calm down, both of you." An older man tried to intervene. "It doesn't matter who stole it. All that matters is finding it."

"Yeah, yeah," said a fourth person.

Following the voice, I snuck ahead and looked around.

I squinted hard at the distant figures from my hiding spot until they became clearer.

Three men. Two women. One of them was carrying something wrapped in cloth. Judging by the size, it might be a box or suitcase. The other two were holding large sacks of coins.

"Fine. Just stop shouting at each other." The first man sighed tiredly. "We'll split the money between us once we get back."

The woman gave him an incredulous look. "How much?!"

"Forty percent of whatever we earn to me."

"Eeeeekkkk!! Forty!? That's robbery Zlatan!"

"Relax. If we take less, then we won't make enough to pay off our debts. We'll never be able to start a new life anywhere else."

"But...but..."

"Hush," the man I identified as Zlatan interrupted her. "This isn't a negotiation. Now let's go."

At that moment, I spotted movement in the corner of my eye. Something glittered in the distance, reflecting sunlight. I blinked and focused on it intently. Then I realized what it was: a single golden ring hanging off a branch on a string. It was suspended above the ground, swinging slightly in the breeze.

The swaying made me feel dizzy, and suddenly I found myself hurtling forward.

Oh shit, oh god, oh crap! I thought desperately.

I was definitely staying away from alcohol from now on. My body was betraying me!

"Alice, wait!" Lori suddenly screamed out loud from close behind me.

I had the wherewithal to wonder, 'where did she come from!?' - right before I lost my balance and stumbled forward, tumbling right into view of the alleged thieves.

Everyone stopped abruptly and turned toward me. They stared at me with hostility, and I felt a sudden rush of heat rising to my cheeks.

Oh god, what the fuck. Why does this shit like this keep happening?! I hate being in this world. I hate being stuck in this stupid, clumsy, and weak body.

"Who goes there?" demanded one of the men suspiciously. My eardrums pounded in my head.

I held up my hands in surrender, and then I felt myself retch. My head spun in circles, and I promptly hurled a continuous stream of stomach acid and digested foodstuffs on the ground in front of me.

It hit the dirt and began bubbling and burning fiercely, spreading across the entire area in an instant.

"Crap! It's her!" the first woman shouted.

"Seven hells, Alice! You don't have to go for the overkill spells right out the gate every time!!" Lori panicked from above.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing! How could I have done that to them!? And I hadn't even intended to use fire magic! It just sorta happened!

"D-Damn it!" cried the second woman. "What do we do?!"

The background changed to pure green, and their arms and legs seemed to....turn into comically underbudgeted circles, and they ran in circles with that classic anime panic and swear animation.

"Run! Run for your lives!!" yelled the third guy. "She's gonna burn us all alive!"

They dropped their cargo and fled as fast as their legs would carry them. The first woman started running towards us, waving her arms wildly.

"Look out! Look out!" Zlatan shrieked. "Get away from the fire!"

"Y-you too, Captain!" the second woman called out fearfully. "Flee now!"

"Right behind you!"

I watched helplessly as the three thieves ran past me without stopping. They disappeared into the trees, disappearing from sight.

"Did you see that?" Lori exclaimed excitedly, shouting behind her as she caught up to me. "She really scared 'em good! Ha ha!"

"Lori..." I groaned, fighting off a migraine.

"Well, don't worry," she added cheerily. "I've got plenty of potions left for that hangover."

"Good..."

My head throbbed painfully. My vision swam in and out of focus. I couldn't seem to move properly. Everything around me seemed to spin and thrum, and I struggled to remain upright.

Where was I?

Was I dead?

Or perhaps I was dreaming…

Wait. No. I definitely wasn't asleep. I remembered the events clearly. I was in the middle of tracking down some thieves when—

Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my skull. It was almost like my brain itself was splitting apart. I gritted my teeth and clutched my head, trying not to scream aloud.

"Alice?" Lori asked anxiously.

"Nnnngggg…"

I winced as another wave of agony washed over me. Oh God, this hurt!

"Are you okay, Alice?" Lori asked again. "Can you stand up?"

"Uhhh...no," I mumbled.

I felt green and accidentally barfed all over Lori's armor. I tensed in fear for a second, then I relaxed when I realized I hadn't set Alice's sister on fire.

"Oh no," I heard Lori mutter as she....doted on me? "Do you need medical attention?"

"I don't think so..." I muttered. "I just...need...some time...to rest...water."

"Okay, fine." Lori pouted unhappily. "Take a few minutes."

As soon as she stepped aside, I collapsed onto the grass.

I was exhausted. Exhausted beyond belief. My whole body ached from having exerted myself so much yesterday. Alcohol was a bad idea, too, even if it was just a little bit.

Even though I hadn't gone crazy, it still messed me up pretty badly. Maybe I should stick to eating meat instead of drinking next time.

"Here, drink this dear." Lori passed me a canteen. "Drink slowly. Don't gulp it down."

"Thanks," I murmured gratefully. I gulped it down in a second.

Once I finished drinking, I sat up carefully, careful not to fall flat on my face.

"Is your headache better now?" Lori asked kindly.

"Not really," I admitted sadly. "But thanks anyway."

"Ah, well, don't worry about it. Drink some water, then get going.

"Uh huh."

Captain Olimar approached us, looking concerned. "Lady Lorina, what happened to you?" He glanced at me as I stumbled around. "And why are you covered in vomit?"

"That's... a long story," Lori explained. "Let's continue following the trail of footprints. Hopefully we can catch them before they reach the capital and get some information." She looked at me pointedly. "Don't forget to stay hydrated, Alice!"

"Whatever," I glowered.

I looked towards the back as Captain Olimar's crew approached, then I froze as I saw a figure in black robes standing on top of a hill through my blurry vision, staring at me with malevolent red eyes.

I blinked, and he was gone.

I glanced back at the giant bag of loot the thieves had left behind.

Now that they weren't there anymore, it was safe to pick it up and examine it.

Wow, these guys sure had picked up a lot of stuff. There was a pile of gold coins and dozens of bags containing various items. Luckily, the box with the magic jewel was right there for the taking.

There was also a strange-looking book sitting on top of everything. Its cover was shiny metal, which reminded me of a sword hilt. I reached for it out of curiosity, only to recoil violently. The binding stung my hand like hot iron.

I gingerly flipped it open with my wand, and I saw pages filled with words written in a language I'd never seen before.

What the heck is this thing? I wondered with a great sense of unease. It looks dangerous as hell!

I decided to put it back in its place in the loot pile quickly. After all, I didn't want to deal with any cursed artifact nonsense. I knew that much.