Chapter 5

We regrouped back at the town of Rivershire, where we met with the mayor.

He was a portly human man with.....closed eyes? And a huge handlebar mustache?

"Thank goodness you've come back in one piece!" he said happily. "The Picaroso Gang has been growing increasingly bold lately. This is the sixth time they've raided the village since last year."

"Six times!?" Lori gasped. "That's terrible!"

"Yes, yes," Mayor Roden nodded solemnly. "However, luckily for us, they seem to target rare weapons and armors specifically here and not the people. I can't say the same for smaller, less fortunate settlements however."

Wait, were we dealing with human traffickers here?

"Rarer than the magic jewel we recovered?" Lori inquired eagerly.

Mayor Roden shook his head emphatically.

"No, nothing quite so valuable. However, we found a number of magical swords and shields here and there when hunting down their lairs. As far as I know, this is the largest haul the guild ever took from our town. Normally, they're more interested in small objects like jewelry and trinkets, although they occasionally steal food and supplies too. But I'm glad you brought everything back."

He opened one blue eye towards me and swung his fists in an exaggerated, friendly swing. "And this young lady is quite the smashing living hurricane herself! Why, if that wasn't the most severe magical thrashing, I had seen in my long life last night!"

Living hurricane? I was way too hungover to question it. Whatever. I was just glad we got the job done without really having to fight.

I just wanted to get things over with and find a way to secure safety and comfort while I figured things out.

"You're welcome," Lori replied politely. "By the way, did anything unusual occur today?"

"Nothing major," he responded hesitantly. "A few people reported seeing someone wearing a heart mask and robes in the distance, but nobody actually saw anyone enter or leave the forest. We had two separate reports of monsters appearing near the riverbanks, but neither report mentioned any actual attacks. In fact, it sounds like the creatures just came close to attacking villagers and then vanished."

Mask and robes? I thought about the man I thought I'd hallucinated in the forest...

"Huh?" Lori frowned. "How odd...You're sure it was a heart mask?"

"Yeah," agreed Olimar. "If I remember correctly, my men encountered something similar to those monster encounters on the way here. Do you have any idea who might have sent them?"

"None whatsoever," the mayor sighed. "It's possible they attacked each other by accident, or maybe the animals were driven wild somehow."

"Hmmm..." Lori pondered thoughtfully.

"Maybe they were just testing the waters? Trying to see how strong adventurers are in this region?"

Olimar scratched his chin dubiously.

"Might make sense. If I recall, you don't have many experienced warriors in this town. Perhaps they wanted to gauge whether you could defend yourselves against such threats."

"True enough," the mayor conceded. "The Picarosos generally try to avoid hurting citizens of the region, though. Unfortunately, they have many family ties here.

"Then why bother coming here at all? Why steal?" Olimar asked.

The mayor shrugged apologetically. "Nobody knows for sure."

"Hey..." Lori tapped her chin thoughtfully. "So what exactly did happen to the thieves?"

"One of them was apprehended," the mayor answered. "Unfortunately, the other four escaped into the woods. We searched for them thoroughly, but we haven't found them yet."

"What happened to the thief that you captured?" Lori asked.

"His name is Sartorious Boscelli," the mayor began. "Apparently, he used to work for Lord Bercouli. He betrayed him and joined the Picaros because he wanted to become rich quick and famous. His crimes include theft, murder, kidnapping, trafficking, and fraud."

"Sounds like fun!" Lori laughed. "Too bad he got himself arrested instead of becoming famous!"

I glared at Lori, but I said nothing. She was really getting on my nerves at this point.

"At least he won't do that sort of thing anymore," the mayor declared. "I'll personally ensure that he spends the rest of his days rotting in jail."

"Very wise," Olimar nodded approvingly.

"In addition to the treasure trove of stolen goods, we discovered a large quantity of drugs and alcohol in the hideout," Mayor Roden continued. "Some of the victims claim that the Picarossis' leader, Fals, is using them to drug and abduct local citizens. The Picaros also sell weapons and armors illegally, so it seems likely that they're involved in other illicit dealings too."

"Criminy.." I muttered tiredly. That sounded serious.

"This is getting worse every day," Olimar lamented. "I wish we could take action sooner rather than later."

"Well, we can't let these criminals free," Lori firmly insisted. "They're probably planning something big."

She turned towards me, her expression stern before she pointed at me. "I'm counting on you to stop them."

"Me?" I squeaked. "Why me?!"

Lori beamed proudly. "Because you're a great fighter!"

"Great fighters don't embarrass themselves like I do," I grumbled. "Did you see how I just got vertigo and fell right on my face today?

"Of course I did! You were amazing, though! Just look at what you managed to accomplish even then!"

"...yeah...thanks..." I mumbled awkwardly.

"Besides, you've already defeated the Picarosa Gang once, remember?" Olimar added encouragingly. "We can get another Rank B job filed away right away! We'll get the funds deposited for this job to Lori's account at the Adventurer's Guild the moment we reach the Royal Capital."

God. Fucking. Dammit. I don't even know how I did that! I was blackout drunk!

"Good point," Lori smiled brightly. "Come on, we should go file that paperwork first. Then we can discuss things further."

I groaned loudly and slumped onto the ground.

My hangover was starting to fade, but I was still feeling miserable. Even thinking about doing something made me feel sicker.

"Are you okay?" Lori asked worriedly.

I shook my head, "I...I think I'm going to hurl again. Please give this job to someone else."

Lori sighed with exasperation. "Fine. I'll talk to Captain Olimar about it."

She stood up and walked off.

After she left, Olimar approached me warily. "Alice, are you alright? Are you feeling ill?"

"Nnngh...yes..." I moaned weakly. I put on my best Oscar face, hoping he would buy it. "I'm fine. Really. It's just...a little bit of nausea...and dizziness...nothing to worry about..."

"Okay, good." He patted my shoulder reassuringly. "It will pass, Alice."

I forced myself to smile and nod.

With Captain Olimar's crew in tow, we made it to the Royal Capital without incident. Lori told Lieutenant Hildibrand and Captain Olimar that we couldn't accept the job due to personal reasons. Still, she promised to send them a message after filing the report.

Once we arrived, I drank some of Lori's hangover potions and collapsed into bed at the tavern.

◆◆◆

When I woke up, I felt refreshed and energized for some reason. My hangover had wholly disappeared overnight. Maybe that weirdo's potion really worked. I thanked Lori profusely as soon as I caught sight of her.

"Oh no, I didn't do anything Alice-chan," she protested. "Your body just healed itself naturally."

"Thanks anyway," I replied gratefully.

"Don't mention it," she said modestly.

"Hey, you're looking better than yesterday!" Olimar exclaimed at the breakfast table cheerfully. "That potion must have done wonders for your health."

I blushed furiously. "Uh, thanks..."

"So, about that whole 'drunken rampage' thing you pulled the other night..." Lori interjected nervously. "Is there any chance you could tell us what happened? We need to file a formal report to the guild, and I'm afraid it will reflect badly on you if you keep quiet."

"Uhh..." I paused, unsure of what to say.

"Please, Alice-chan!" Lori urged softly. "There's no need for embarrassment. We're sisters, aren't we?"

"Um, yeah." I nodded reluctantly. "Sorry about that. Well to be honest. I blacked out entirely after one drink so I can't tell you much."

"Really?" Lori looked surprised. She leaned forward eagerly, resting both hands on the table. "Damn girlie! How'd you manage to get so drunk so quickly?! Was it laced with drugs?"

"Erm...no?" I stammered.

Captain Olimar cleared his throat pointedly. "Actually, that might have been exactly what happened. It wouldn't explain her lack of memory of the incident or passing out, but she may have very well been drugged."

"Whaaat?" I gaped incredulously.

"Well, the Picarosos have a reputation for drugging and trafficking young elves and humans," Olimar explained casually. "It turns out they may have gone in this time with the intention of abduction too. Two things turned out in the peoples' favor though."

I stared at him, speechless.

He continued, "Unfortunately for them, their preferred kidnapping drug, The Glory of Mysta is a hypnotic herb that works as normal for most regular folks, but it causes temporary, rampant psychosis in people with high magical potency. The other cog in their plan was well, Lady Lori. She eliminated most of their muscle for the operation on the road. We found a near-dead beastman on the road and took him in for questioning."

Seriously? I got roofied by human traffickers on my first fucking day here?! What kind of shitty welcome is that? I couldn't imagine what other horrifying things lurked in the background waiting for me in this world.

"I knew it!" Lori clapped excitedly. "Now that explains everything! That's why you went berserk and started hugging me saying you loved me. Here I was wondering why you were screaming how much you loved me before you suddenly threw off your clothes and charged downstairs!"

I did what?

"No, wait..." I sputtered. "I mean, yes, that's part of it. But I think it's more complicated than that."

Olimar nodded stoically. "I believe that the Picaro gang has been using a variety of drugs and poisons to control their slaves, including this mysterious herb called the Root of Bayn. This would add up, although I don't think the Mysta flower would make you black out entirely...that was likely the alcohol."

"Wait, what?" I blinked. "Slaves? Like...human ones?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "Orcs, beastmen, and goblins too, apparently."

"Eyewitnesses say you went berserk and started levitating and throwing spells around like a girl possessed. All while naked as a newborn babe wreathed in storm, earth, and fire. And then, you passed out in defense of the town as a registered Rank E adventurer driving off the bandits. So technically speaking, you didn't break any laws."

"Wait a minute!" I gasped. "I'm a registered adventurer now?! What does that even mean?!"

"It means that you officially belonged to the Adventurers Guild after we picked up that mission!" Lori explained patiently. "Which is kind of cool, since you get your own membership card and rank insignia!"

"Cool..." I repeated dully. I guess.

"And now that you've proven yourself capable of fighting off an entire strike force of bandits alone, the guild master has decided to immediately promote you to Rank C!" Lori cheered. "You can be paid as a member of the reserve corps now to be called upon any time to defend the Kingdom!"

I sweatdropped. Literally.

More opportunities to die horribly, I guess.

"As for your reward from the previous mission," Olimar continued, "we received word earlier today that you can expect a sizable deposit to your bank accounts within the week."

"Wow," I exclaimed happily. "Thank goodness for small blessings. There wasn't any nonsense with the magic jewel I take it?"

"Not at all!" Olimar assured me. "The King himself gave us permission to use the royal treasury to purchase the artifact."

Whew. Here I was, expecting the other shoe to drop or something. It seemed like a perfect cliche setup, after all.

Guess things did turn out okay sometimes.

"Congratulations on your promotion," Captain Olimar grinned warmly. "Welcome to the ranks of commissioned adventurers, little Alice-chan. Rank C adventurers are no joke in this world!"

I cringed in response, but I forced myself to smile.

I really, really wanted absolutely zero part of being involved in more dangerous situations.