sceNe 26 - ᴄoNᴄeNᴛʀaᴛioN

Days later I was still thinking about that night. How close we were holding each other. Her breath on my face. The touch of her hands! Just thinking about it would get me excited again! I knew I wanted to be close to her, but I didn’t expect to take charge like this! I mean, she was doing a great job when she wasn’t almost going to touch my scars, but then that cool move I did grabbing her wrists? I didn’t know I had that in me!

“Miss, I asked for a sprite.”

“Huh?”

I was definitely daydreaming at work. Apparently I miswrote someone’s order and brought them the wrong drink.

“Oh, sorry! I’ll fix that!”

The morning was generally going like that. Every hour it would be a drink, and a few times I didn’t specify the right changes to a meal. At least one order was completely wrong. But it didn’t matter, did it really? Some little mistakes don’t matter.

“This is really not like you.” Sandra said to me, having just heard of my mishaps. “And they said you’ve been on your phone more than usual.”

“Mistakes happen! And I’m allowed to use my phone! It isn’t a big deal!” I didn’t really care about a few little accidents.

“It’s weird for you to make these kinds of mistakes, though.” She sounded concerned, but also judgy.

“Can’t I just make a few mistakes without getting grilled?”

“They said you were making that face again.” She started. “Do you think about anything other than Cryz?”

Now that was just rude! Should I not be thinking about her?

“I do! I’m just happy right now!”

Sandra wasn’t worried for nothing. I did have a history of prioritizing my love life over most other things. Even though I would stay on top of classes, I would completely blank on plans with Sandra or my other friends because I would want to spend time with my girlfriend at the time. Normally I would refocus after Sandra called me out on it, but then the cycle would repeat.

But no one was really asking me to do anything with them! Even Sandra wasn’t inviting me to do stuff. It was still summer and I wasn’t taking any more classes in the fall, so the only messages I would get were friends who were visiting family or trying to make as much money as they could during the summer. Unless you count Jason? He wanted us to go to more shows and stuff, but I figured Cryztal would plan that out with him.

I guess my job hunt wasn’t going so well either. Maybe I filled out three applications last week? I really should find something, especially since I keep crashing at Cryztal’s place, but I would probably have to find a bigger city if I really wanted to put my degree to use. Especially because it wasn’t an election year. Local government openings aren’t always easy to find in a timely manner.

More importantly I shouldn’t feel bad for focusing on my love life! It’s been a year since my break up and this is already doing much better! Cryztal is getting better at not making messes around the house, and isn’t just eating junk food all the time. If her mom didn’t abandon her, then maybe we could just be silly all the time, but that’s not what’s going on. It’s more complicated than that!

I get to come over, make sure she’s doing well, and do whatever I can to keep it that way. I really like taking care of her. She’s always so happy to eat what I cook, and we can cuddle and kiss and it's nice. It is a little hard not letting her touch my scars, but that’s fine! Just being with her is enough!

It’s not too soon to send her another text that I miss her, right?