"Ryuuta go school, you are going to be late."
"Yes mom...at least let me finish my food."
I grabbed my bag and ran as fast as I can, even though I am weak. Having a smile on the face for no reason like a normal 17 years old student living his youth to fullest.
"ahh I made in time"
Heading towards class 2-B I stopped my grin I had before. My shoulders starts to feel cold every time I enter this class. I entered the class as I always do and I bumped a girl.
I noticed her mechanical pencil fell down from her hand so I tried to help her out.
"Um...Um..y-your me-qchnical pencil fell down."
(Damn it! why I am stuttering and from all of that I even bit my tongue)
"Oh Rei you came today I was waiting for you."
(Ah I see so you are ignoring me too like the whole class but at least take your stuff back bitch.)
Yes I really feel feel cold every time I enter this class. I am not being bullied but actually I don't exist in this class, Everyone here ignores me and pretend like I am not here. The teacher who just now entered the class is the same, She don't care what's happening in this class even though she knows enough. You all ignore me as much as you want, but at least look into my eyes directly for once."Ryuuta Yanagi Kun"
"Ryuuta Yanagi kun"
"RYUUTA YANAGI"
"P-PRESENT"
(Huh? did I just hear my name? Somebody called me in this class after 2 years? Wha-)
I looked at the teacher's desk then I looked a bit up to be surprised.(A new homeroom teacher? We didn't got any notice about it? more than that she didn't even introduced herself? straight to attendance-call?)
"Wh-Who are you?"
(Aaah! why did I say that out of nowhere? I hate human interaction the most! I just cringed myself.)
As expected a complete silence. Nobody in the class laughed at My clumsiness. They all are in their own normie world.
The sensei pouted.(she is kind of cute.)
"Yanagi-Kun its the first time I am teaching...I am completely new to it, I might not be like your previous teacher. You might have problem with me first but I think we should all get to know each other well so we can understand each other. If there is problem with my way of teaching or problem with me having here in this class please don't hesitate to tell me."
She Smiled but the smile is not even noticeable I would say that was rather a small smile with her marshmallow like lips."Y-yes mam"
(She still didn't introduced herself its embarrassing even though I am getting ignored.)
That was the first time after two years someone from the class talked to me. It feels so pleasant I even hope someone from our class starts talking to me after today. I was lost in thoughts about how I should converse with the new teacher whose name is not even known. I started day dreaming creepy enough to grin on those thoughts. But I never knew daydreams also end badly. Badly enough to break your soul, mind, relationships, someone precious, friends, love, and lastly even your body.[AAAAH...]{shick...Splutter...Splutter}(what is that sound?)
I turned around me to see the girl who bumped me today, Kisara-san cut her neck with thermocol cutter. It all felt like dream, Yes the daydream which is continuing.
[S-Sensei!! H-help us!!][M-My body moving on its own]
The guy runs and jumps through the window.(W-what the fuck is happening? I-its not my daydream...Its real..That's blood..That guy jumped...he killed himself..Its the third floor...)
[Khyaaaa...WHY ARE YOU CHOCKING ME GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY-]
(Why they are killing themselves? are they out of their mind? Its scaring me)
I was scared looking the people who ignored me all these time making fuss, It was hellish experience I never knew blood smell was so rusty and looking at the situation I was feeling to throw up and getting tensed by time.[My Head It Hurts! It hurts so bad! H-help!]
{baam}
(Its hell...They all became mad for no reason)
All I could hear was screams.
(I can't stay here...why are they all killing themselves I don't understand...I can't understand anything!)
"AAAA- I DON"T WANT TO STAY HERE! TELL ME.. ANYONE TELL ME WHY ARE YOU KILLING YOURSELF"
(I don't understand why you all are ignoring me yet.)
My legs were shaking body was not moving and I felt like I am low on breath. My body felt numb I just wanted to run away, just open the door of the classroom to get outside.[H-HELP ME YANAGI-KUN...MY HEAD FEELS LIGHT PLEASE HELP ME]
I looked at my left hearing that.(My name, you called me my name.)
"Your..head..."
[DON"T JUST STAND THERE AND HELP ME ASSHOLE]
I slowly stepped near him. He was lying down with blood masked face that i couldn't even recognize him. Honestly I don't even know his name because of a lot of ignorance I stopped caring about most of the people in our class. But given the situation I couldn't help, I just don't want what's going on. "Y-your h-head..w-hat is wro-"
As soon as I got near him he grabbed my leg with his bloody hands it was so wet felt slimy and squashy.[I CAN"T GET UP, CAN YOU SHUT UP AND GET ME OUTSIDE... MY BODY FEELING LIGHT..HUH WHATS THIS COMING OUT OF MY HEAD...BRAIN? MY BRAIINNNNNNAWAHGAHAAAAA]
(H-he died...he was holding his small part of melting brain to his hand maybe he bashed his head with something sturdy and he touched me that slimy felt on my leg) {BLARGHHHH...SPLURT}
I vomited hard...honestly all these was making me crazy too."A-ah so he bashed his head himself with his guitar...you were a cool guy who played e-electric guitar huh? I am sure you had at least two or three girlfriends...too bad you died that was useless, your guitar is of no use anymore.."
Before I knew I got insane too. I started saying harsh things I never said before."Serves you right! I-I don't even know you, maybe I forgot you..y-you ignored me..."
"...NO-YOU ALL IGNORED ME"
I took the guitar. It had blood and some brain raw gush. It didn't bothered me like it did before when he touched my leg. I looked around and they all were dead. Some fought, Some stabbed, became killer in their lost lives. All remained the cold bloody classroom and me."Only I am left huh? Why no one killed me? Why did I not go insane to kill myself like you all?" "Did god ignored me too? Look at me god if you exist"
"Mom, Dad I never had haterate towards you, but its not like I care not to live. All i wanted is to live happily, I didn't actually felt that bad when I got ignored I was used to it."
I hold the guitar up targeting towards my head."I-I don't know why I want to kill myself suddenly snap out of myself dammit!"
I babbled to myself.
(I can't actually choose to live or die even if the situation is making me crazy.)
"Yana..hm..what was your name again? Yanagi, yes Yanagi, nice how you are still alive and hesitating to kill yourself?"
The distant voice sounded familiar. The daydream I was experiencing earlier the morning, The beautiful day dream having conversation with the new home room teacher. How could i even forget her. She was standing in corner this whole time and I didn't notice. Her grin felt exactly the way I do when I pretend to be enjoying life. Grin filled with sorrow, anger, and mixed feelings which can be seen clearly as daylight through that grin.
{tap, tap, tap, tap, tap}
she comes towards me. I fell down standing on knees still not able to understand what was going on. And she was still having the grin, She moved her arms towards me like an angel would do to embrace you in a peaceful moment. I was numb, She grabbed my neck slowly chocking me until I die, It didn't fell painful, It didn't felt sad. All I was could do was stare at a note book opened wide with scratchy writings `I AM SORRY YANAGI-KUN` and try to get who would write that to me.(`
Sorry?` I was lucky enough to even notice it from that far covered it with blood...)
I finally felt like I got noticed but I didn't felt happy. I thought I was desperate for seeking attention but maybe I wasn't. "I wish I could have known who thought me as a friend at the end."
I Ryuuta Yanagi died that day."So student
number 22 Yanagi-kun to new world... ehhhh at least say present to your teacher..well whatever wake up fast i don't want you get passed out for days."
[clap, clap, clap]
That peaceful death of mine was just lead me to the start of real hell of despair and chaos after that. We the students from the class never knew what was going to start with us.
"hehe, class start~"
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