Oh Really?

My family greeted me in the dining room. The first moment I arrived though, I felt an, well you could say a not so joyful atmosphere for a moment, even though I have just been restored. There were troubled expressions from their faces only to then turn into smiles when they saw me.

I pretended I didn’t notice then headed to my usual spot with a bright smile on my face. I wanted to eat some delicious dishes! And father said he would have the chefs cook the best cuisines!

Can’t wait! Though it might not be exactly a good diet to eat a lot, but come on! Not everyday I get to eat this many. At least let me get loose.

Okay… maybe this was what they call stress eating. I really am hungry, I am craving something to eat now that the thought of food came to my mind.

… I’m still bothered by the memories I dreamed of. And I’m in distress. That was completely unnecessary. Plus, I have to limit my use of mana. I say bullshit!

But fuck, I’ll just eat some delicious food. That should alleviate some negative emotions.

Sadly, I have to wait for a while before they get cooked.

I turned to look at my family. Ah, not one had initiated a conversation yet. Not that one needs to always converse during pre eating. But of course silence was often unnerving…

Should I initiate a conversation first?

“So um… was no one definitely hurt that time? In the library?”

I asked timidly while my innocent eyes looked at them.

My brother was then the one to answer first.

“Well, getting blown away into the air and into the floor, wasn’t exactly pain free.”

He wryly smiled with a bit of chuckle. I did remember them being blown away because of what I took as a near death. That moment felt so real, like I was actually there. So, I naturally tried to defend myself with instincts.

Only then to realize everyone around me got blown away.

I turned stiff and gave everyone an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, I was… rattled,” I visibly swallowed. “... Um, I did see I caused some damages to the library. I am terribly sorry… I… I didn’t mean it.”

I grasped my hands and lowered my head.

“Hm, repair is underway, dear daughter, you need not to worry,” my father said in hopes to give me relief.

I meekly nodded my head.

My mother then reached out for my hand.

“You worry about insignificant things, Estelia. You were the most hurt. I saw your expression of great pain.”

I raised my gaze towards her.

“... It… it was nothing.”

“How could you say that?” she said in an almost reprimanding tone. “You even forced yourself to reel in your mana back, I can only imagine how difficult and painful it would be.”

“... I had no choice.”

Her hold on my hands only tightened. I averted my eyes away.

“You even refused our help and forced yourself to come to your room.”

“I… didn’t want to hurt anyone. It is only natural to keep away from everyone.”

“Estelia, you can’t just let yourself suffer like that. We are family, did you forget?” she paused for a while, then her stern voice followed. “Look at me, daughter.”

I flinched as though in surprise of her tone. I slowly shifted my eyes towards her.

“Don’t ever do that again. We are here for you, do not forget that. We will help you whenever you are in trouble. You have no need to bear the pain alone.”

What was this warmth in my heart? This feeling, I cannot explain it.

“And… I don’t want to see you hurt. So please, don’t ever do something like that again. Rely on us.”

Rely? On them…? Trust them…?

I… I feel like I can trust them… No, didn’t I have always trusted them? All because of Estelia’s memories, I trusted them because they brought no harm to me. However, now, this kind of trust that I seemed to want to form…

“I…” I struggled with what words I should say. “... I’m sorry I did what I did. And, I understand, mother.”

I faintly smiled at her.

“Good, Estelia. I’m glad to hear that.”

She raised her hand and stroked my cheeks. Her touch was pleasantly warm.

“My adorable Estelia, I like you better this way.”

Never did I realize that it was at this moment, my heart opened a little.

Shortly then after that, our food was then delivered by servants.

My smile was wide with delight at the precious sight. Today, I will be a glutton. I will devour the hell out of these meat! And of course vegetables. Gotta keep yourselves healthy kids!

I served myself just the right amount of food. Of course, I ate in a ladylike manner, well, almost that is. My pace was a bit faster than normal. I’m just so hungry! Perhaps two days of being asleep was chewing on me.

My family weren’t particularly bothered by the way I was acting. They must have understood that I was extremely hungry. Good! No one will be holding me back.

Now that I have some space in my mind, I really did one hell of a ruckus two days ago. I wondered what the reaction of the infiltrator was. Good thing they didn’t come after me during my vulnerable days.

The overprotectiveness of my family paid off. In addition, that sure was a close one wasn’t it? My weapons were almost discovered. I wouldn't know what to do or say once they discovered that.

I’ll be fucked as fuck.

Now I’m having double thoughts on whether I should carry weapons when I am practicing. Well, at least while I still have trouble with mana, I think I shouldn’t carry weapons for a while. Just to be on a safer side.

I just have to combat any opponent hand to hand. I have been exercising this body, you know. That said, maybe I shouldn’t strain my body today. I shall be taking a rest today! No stressful things!

Maybe I should adore myself in front of the mirror or something. Maybe do something fun? What would I do though? But of course, just remembering there were threats really takes out the mood in me.

Uuugh.

Okay, maybe I am a bit rapid right now.

Want to know more about my time in education? Hah! Don’t wanna think about it. Nor do I even want to get in more or deeper detail.

Tch. This is stupid.

I was getting agitated.

I just had to be reminded of when I have to kill…

Right… we don’t have names. So him, as he never received a name since he died, his number was 213. Subject 213…

I shook the thought off my mind.

Before I knew it, I was already full. Of course I don’t intend to force myself, so I stopped.

My family was also finished at the same time.

I heaved a relaxed sigh.

“That was great…”

Great food indeed.

“Estelia, I want to ask about something.”

My father said to me.

“Yes?”

“...” he appeared to be reluctant to speak his mind. “... Estelia, you mentioned you had visions?”

I blinked my eyes a few times before weakly nodding my head.

“Yes.”

“I see. What was it that you saw?”

“Um…” I rubbed my thumbs before speaking, to show that I was uneasy. “A… a blade… a dagger perhaps, descended upon me. Striking me.”

“What?!” it was my brother who exclaimed.

My mother on the other hand was quietly in shock. Father meanwhile kept his composure.

“I… couldn’t do anything. It felt so real, like I was actually there.”

I ended it there, as my lips trembled slightly.

“I see. Was there something else?”

Hm, there was something else. There was no point in hiding it honestly. In addition, there was no downside in telling them.

“T-There was another… it came first actually…”

“What is it?”

“... I saw a woman. She… she has the same features as me. White hair, white skin, and red eyes.”

For some reason, when they heard my description of the woman, they all went completely silent. They were frozen in place. Wait… do they know about it?

I wanted to narrow my eyes with suspicion at them, but instead I asked them.

“W-What’s wrong? Do you know what that was? Who was that woman?”

It was my father who immediately responded.

“Nothing, no problem. We were just surprised and confused why you would see visions. And why you would see that woman. Don’t you think maybe that was perhaps how you would look in the future?”

Hm? There could be a chance I would look like that in the future.

He then continued.

“Maybe you saw yourself to be like that in future. Or maybe it was a vision of the future, or perhaps a hallucination. There are many possibilities.”

Oh, really now dear father?

“Father, didn’t I mention, the visions felt real. The senses, smell, touch, I experienced them. Does vision do that?”

“... I do not know. But perhaps. In any case, a vision is a vision, no point in dwelling about it if it leads nowhere.”

He’s not wrong.

“... But, I suppose everyone has no idea…?”

They all responded that they have no idea.

Is that so?

I see.